Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles

Sergent Grif

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did you stalk Zero puncuation video gallaries for the exact moment Yahtzee uploaded the video just so you could say that?
 

Earth2Me

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Feb 20, 2009
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One of Yahtzee's absolute best! I'm not sure why but I get a great degree of relaxation and satisfaction out of watching him pull his hair out. hmm...
 

Cockney_Jesus

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Do you think he'll ever do some older games? I'd love to see reviews of Oddworld or Hitman or something like those.
 

Tharticus

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Another amusing episode. This was a jRPG, I wonder why Mr. Croshaw wants to review one?
 

Melancholy_Ocelot

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Nicely done, I was wondering when a JRPG would rear it's ugly head. The last one I played was Lost Odyssey. I never made it past the second disk.
 

thetragicclown

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May 29, 2008
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"Schmazi Gormtroopers" are the two greatest words I've heard today.

And definitely check out "one o'dem Xcom games", as long as it's the first one.
 

Earth2Me

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Sergent Grif said:
did you stalk Zero puncuation video gallaries for the exact moment Yahtzee uploaded the video just so you could say that?
No, but this is the first on a small lists of sites that I hit first right after work! So....well..um, that maybe a "yes" Ahh hell, here comes another restraining order....

=P
 

odisious15

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Nov 14, 2007
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Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Aug 8, 2007
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Micromanagement Motherfuckery lol. Couldn't have said it better myself. I used to enjoy games like Front Mission back when I was a wee lad. I must of been a bit of a masochist. Not a fan of games like this nowadays. Also I don't consider a game like this a JRPG. More of a fake ass turn based strategy game combed over with anime and lame ass story.
 

FloodOne

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Apr 29, 2009
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I love Valkyria Chronicles, but Yahtzee's review was top fucking notch as usual.
 

Yudas

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Apr 30, 2009
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That was good. Never thought he would do a jrpg again. Never heard about this game before but I might try it out sometime. The turnbased stuff does sound fun.
 

D_987

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Jun 15, 2008
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Meh. That was...bland. The jokes were not particularly funny - all of them based of mindless stereotypes, the complaints were 90% nit-picking at best - at least in his other reviews there are usually complaints I can agree with - but not in this one.
 

sune26

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Apr 13, 2009
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I liked it, but ive seen better or perhaps i just dont like jrpgs
 

iblis666

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Sep 8, 2008
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never played the game now i am sure i never will want too guess ill go back to my final fantasy tactics
 

Shapsters

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Dec 16, 2008
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Haha, the expression of his feeling for JRPG was funny! Good episode, I like when he does JRPG, just purely negative
 

TitsMcGee1804

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the only truly great turn based jrpg (sorta) type that i actually liked and will always like was shining force 2 for the mega drive

but even that was a little wordy
 

Mrsoupcup

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That was funny, "After I wake up and have another missing house pet and I have blood in my teeth." lol
 

FloodOne

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odisious15 said:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
Wow.... if you actually use Zero Puncuation to make a choice on what kind of games to buy, you must still be playing ps1 games
 

keme4632424

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May 13, 2009
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odisious15 said:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
You're incredibly stupid if you think Yatzees opinion means much, especially when he reviews a genre he hates.
 

KillerRamen

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May 13, 2009
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Hehe, Yahtzee trashes my favorite game of the generation. [Maybe I just love micromanaging and lesbians with guns] Funny, but if you are still playing Catherine is a god at Sniper. My Catherine kills everything in one hit and gets a head shot every single time. Awww yeah!

[If anyone wants to try it out, you can download it off the Playstation Store.]
 

sune26

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Apr 13, 2009
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viscountesslafiel said:
odisious15 said:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
You're incredibly stupid if you think Yatzees opinion means much, especially when he reviews a genre he hates.
Yea you got a good point there, but did you really join just to say that or just a coincidence you said that as a first post?
 

BlueInkAlchemist

Ridiculously Awesome
Jun 4, 2008
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What's next? Puzzle Quest Galactrix?

Cockney_Jesus said:
Do you think he'll ever do some older games? I'd love to see reviews of Oddworld or Hitman or something like those.
May I direct you to his reviews of Psychonauts, Painkiller, and Thief.
 

fix-the-spade

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Feb 25, 2008
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Ok, I had to rewind that three or four times because I was laughing too hard to hear what was being said.

Best one in ages.
 

Doug

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Apr 23, 2008
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Heheh, Yahtzee, the Nazi symapthizer ;) And Republicans + Compassion == FAIL ;)
 

yeah_so_no

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Sep 11, 2008
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"Like Republicans and compassion" cracked me up so, so bad.

And to everyone depending on ZP for decisions on buying games or not...have fun using your console as a paperweight.
 

Monocle Man

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I can only agree with the cutscene/anime parts and the not-covering behind non-sandbag obstacles Yathzee mentioned. The dialogues really are awful.

I didn't mind the attacking during someone else's turn, the enemy can take advantage of it but so can you.
 

Chipperz

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Apr 27, 2009
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Loved the review, and I'm hitting the Playstation Store to download the demo now.

The game may be rubbish, but I'm intrigued...
 

rosac

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wait, you actually watch these videos, i thought the idea was to race to get first post at all costs?/sarcasm.

seriously though i liked that review with the new orleans referance and of course the "what I think of JRPG's" bit.

rosac
 

Avida

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Oct 17, 2008
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Gyah, gotta hate it when he reviews a game I like T_T. Guess i'll have to play defendant *sigh*.

Disclaimer : I KNOW ITS FOR HUMOR.

Firstly, the way you pick members for your squard shows health stats, and available abilities.. you dont use anything else really :s... What do you want? Except of course their, personality which is nice, and led to me playing through the game downright refusing to lose any of them.

Also, most guns can be upgraded in multiple pathways, not to mention the aqquired enemy and royal bonus guns.

I'd agree that the way through the menu's between battles is slow its not really micromanagement or 'a bloated fractal spreadsheet nightmare', its just.. slow, with slightly needless loading times and dialogue getting in the way.

One last rebuttal - you can fling your elastic bands back at them too, all's fair in love and war :p
Esentially its a gameplay mechanic, one that can get kinda annoying at times when you take juuuuust one bullet too many, but at least it serves to stop you rushing ahead with scouts and think tactially. Its the game making a point that your soldiers are NOT the superhuman types of other shooters (.. aside from the blue ones), they are the milita, and if they're going to win its going to be down to the commander not rushig them blindly into the firing range.

Oh and a leveled Cezary or Marina Kick ass!


.

.


That said, there REALLY needs to be a sodding quick save. God damnit hour long battles lost in one turn, in one shot because you didnt inspect every last bit of grass for lancers by your tank arent sodding fair ¬_¬

Edit:
KillerRamen said:
My Catherine kills everything in one hit and gets a head shot every single time. Awww yeah!
I'd use her but i just cannot stand her accent, and i'm English!
 

Vanguard_Ex

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Strong Intelligent said:
He sounded like he was making fun of autistic people at "how I feel about JRPGs"

Good aside from that,
No offence man but I think that says more about you seeing as there's nothing to even hint that ><
 

jaiv28

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Dec 30, 2008
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wow, this one was great. Allthough I wouldnt particularly call Valkyria Chronicles a JRPG its closer to a JRTS. Still its nice to see something like this.
 

sooperg

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Feb 25, 2009
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Woah, Yahtzee, JRPG territory is something that i think you should stay away from or else we might find Hiroshitta Bolloksmuncher (or whatever those JRPG Producers names are) lying on the street with your knife through his head with you softly giggling next to his mutilated body. now i know this sounds grim, but the amount you despise JRPG's i wouldn't be surprised if it happened. Also, you're absolutely RIGHT! more than once in a game, i have found myself surrounded by enemies with bazooka's and dildos which i think they were planning on shoving up my ass and this was the point were i found that i couldn't rage quit so i had to start the whole FUCKING mission again. this is the thing with rickrolling too. if you go on youtube looking for something and you see rick astley it just pisses you off because then you need to look again in hopes that you won't get rickrolled once more. and now you can get rickrolled while looking for ANYTHING. anyway, now that ive finished ranting, my point is, JRPG games are for JRPG fans, if you don't get what your looking for, then to bad, its your 20-40 bucks.
 

Knonsense

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I would probably enjoy a turn based strategy review. I'm really not sure why he would, judging by how until now he's been trashing turn based combat every time a mention of a JRPG comes up.
 

PedroSteckecilo

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Feb 7, 2008
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Despite this being one of my favorite games of last year AND removing from the equation Yahtzee's noted anti JRPG bias...

He actually hit the nail on the head in a few places and I did find myself giggling at some of the jokes. Mr. Crowshaw is always at his best when he's full of venom.
 

GumbaMasta

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May 8, 2008
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Wow, this rip-in actually made me want to play this game even more.With all the sexual refference and all. =D
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
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Don't know why I watch this anymore...It's just not funny anymore, and he never actually reviews the game. He even failed to mention the beautiful art style.

There's only so much JRPG bashing that I can take before my head asplodes.
 

k_rafftry

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Gorbek said:
Tharticus said:
Another amusing episode. This was a jRPG, I wonder why Mr. Croshaw wants to review one?
he was hit by the infinite power of jesus christ.
Again?! Ugh I'll get the broom...

If he or any or you, are intrigued by turn taking RTS', check out the Advance Wars series. I wasted countless hours on the original!

Also, someone swung wide with the ban hammer today!
 

XMarshmallow

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Feb 11, 2009
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Hah, even better than usual, although this one hurt a little since I loved the hell out of this game's whiny androgenous teenagagers.
I sometimes forget that he thinks his job is to be a hate-magnet, though. I don't think there's a line he hasn't crossed, now that he threw the "secret nazi sympathizer" in. It's funny and effective, but yikes man. That takes more balls than a Jungle Jim's playpen to even joke about.
 

The Brian J

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Apr 18, 2009
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His breathless rant on the cutscenes really made me laugh. Another great review, probably one of the funniest since Halo Wars.
 

yourbeliefs

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Jan 30, 2009
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Another humorous review. I always love the subtle jokes most, in this case, when mentioning "The Evil Empire in the East, for there are no GOOD empires" and then shows the East Icon booting a cute bunny across the screen.
 

bartholen_v1legacy

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Jan 24, 2009
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Waaaaaah!!

The end is nigh! Yahtzee reviews ANOTHER jrpg!

Well no. This was probaly the best episode in the last two months or so. The "eeeeeyooowwweeeoooaaa" depicting Yahtzee's feelings towards jrpgs even made me laugh. "It was like he was so dense that his gravitational pull absorbed every bypassing bullet into his face" was also good. Chest high walls represented by the box of Gears 2 = brilliant. And if Yahtzee thinks he could get into turn-based strategy then he should play WHFB or 40K.
 

1337mokro

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OMG Yahtzee reviewing another JRPG!!!!!


MY socks blew to the moon (old joke reference).

But one of the more imaginative reviews of last few months.
 

Azhrarn-101

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thetragicclown said:
"Schmazi Gormtroopers" are the two greatest words I've heard today.

And definitely check out "one o'dem Xcom games", as long as it's the first one.
The second is essentially the first with new wallpaper and a more sadistic difficulty cliff.
(and a few bugs that make certain key research subjects obnoxiously hard to get hold of)

So that would also be a valid game to review, although he'd probably complain about the difficulty, Terror From the Deep was a nightmare to finish.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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FloodOne said:
odisious15 said:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
Wow.... if you actually use Zero Puncuation to make a choice on what kind of games to buy, you must still be playing ps1 games
What? I for one agreed with most everything he said. Though i have only played the demo :(

And what does the PS1 have to do with anything.
 

brynnflynn

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:) Loved the rant as always, and while I agreed on some points (FSDGUCKING BUSTARDS SHOOTING ME DED ON MY TURN), I thought they pulled off the concept relatively well for a first trial.

Of course, you're not going to enjoy it if you don't enjoy JRPGS. So I'll give you that point.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Strong Intelligent said:
He sounded like he was making fun of autistic people at "how I feel about JRPGs"

Good aside from that,
Given that none of the autistic people I know have ever reacted like that to anything I think that comment says more about your perceptions of the mentally handicapped that Yahtzee's.

Anyway, enjoyed this one - a nice good ol' fashioned ripping to shreds of a gameI'll never get around to playing.
 

NoSeraph

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Chipperz said:
Loved the review, and I'm hitting the Playstation Store to download the demo now.

The game may be rubbish, but I'm intrigued...
Congrats, Chipperz - you're in for one of the most fun and rewarding titles of the console. Hope that you enjoy it!

Yahtzee's review hits on a few easy nitpicks, but I have the feeling that he didn't play the game past the first few chapters (i.e. upgrading weapons/tanks gets more complex later on). Either way, it's definitely worth downloading it to give it a shot.

For anyone else sitting on the fence about whether or not to get this game, it's of worthy note that Valkyria chronicles was developed by the team that made Skies of Arcadia - some of the characters from that game even appear in this one as an added bonus!
 

Lord_Panzer

Impractically practical
Feb 6, 2009
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That bit with the Japanese and the Germans nearly made pop come out my nose. Well done, Mr. Croshaw.
 

UtopiaV1

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Feb 8, 2009
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Ball-beltingly funny, a real return to form! Ignore these loud-mouths spouting their favorite JRPG's at you, and the 'holier-than-thou' anti-war puritans who condemn you for even MENTIONING awkward world history, this one genuinely made me laugh out loud, and that is exactly why you're here!!!
 

haakonb

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Nov 12, 2008
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Loved this ep and your description of JRGP's, can't agree more.

I HATE JRPG's


...and now I'll probably get a lot of angry faggy fanboy comments..
 

chase211

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Sep 22, 2008
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Pretty accurate review here. The game has moments where you start to enjoy it...then the game arbitrarily one shots you and you rage out all over everything.

The menu is god awefull and its almost metal gear esque in the amount of not playing the game in between each short segment of playing it.
 

MichaelMaverick

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Jan 28, 2009
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I must say Yahtzee's growing blander and more annoying to listen to with each passing review. Or at least terribly repetitive. (Yet another Adolf Hitler reference, replacing the first two letters in a given name with "b", joking about testicles being absorbed into body....does he do this intentionally to see if anyone's nerdy enough to keep track/remember? I would think so, but degrading his current review at that cost is pathetic.) Humor (or attempt at such) is much too forced and actually seems to have been heavily dominating over the criticism part as of late - kind of makes you wonder how he perceives his work at this point. I've always been more of a sympathizer as far as his opinions and presentation were concerned, always defended his name when people here and there called him pretentious and said he's popularising his hateful attitude (despite knowing it's pointless and a waste of time), but I've really rather grown inclined to agreeing with it in the past few weeks. I can understand that most games aren't that great these days and have their faults, and it can't be helped if Yahtzee ends up disliking most titles he gets his hands on because he couldn't have known or because they really do happen to be shitty, but why the fuck does he review a game he knows he's gonna hate? That EVERYONE knows he's gonna hate? Why does he even play it? Sure, he's got to have an overview as a critic, but is this sort of theatre truly necessary? Is popular demand so tiresome that he does it despite everything, even though he knows he's rambling about the same shit over and over? Even though he knows that he's making us witness him drifting down the same river of feces all over again?

I find it ironic how he often goes on about celebrities or famous/populistic individuals suffering worsened performace and eventual downfall when he's arriving at precisely that stage of his career himself.


EDIT: AND TO PROVE MY ABSOLUTE EXISTENTIAL SUPERIORITY OVER HIM, I HAVE POSTED THIS NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT FIVE TIMES. THAT'S RIGHT, THAT IS THE RATIONAL EXPLANATION BEHIND THIS. NOT THIS WEBSITE BEING A FLAMING PILE OF MUTATING ASSHOLES. NO SIR.
 

MichaelMaverick

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The thought of editing out every and each of these posts occured to me in the first few seconds as well, Solid, but I just so happened to run out of funny substitutions, time, enthusiasim for further posting on these forums (which I have already labeled as either shitty or working improperly for me), and CARE.
 

Strong Intelligent

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Chris B Chikin said:
Strong Intelligent said:
He sounded like he was making fun of autistic people at "how I feel about JRPGs"

Good aside from that,
Given that none of the autistic people I know have ever reacted like that to anything I think that comment says more about your perceptions of the mentally handicapped that Yahtzee's.

Anyway, enjoyed this one - a nice good ol' fashioned ripping to shreds of a gameI'll never get around to playing.
I am autistic, but okay.

Also, at a younger age I'd make that kind of noise when I went into my "sensory meltdowns" or something.

As I said, I don't really care, bit it did jar my a slight so I thought I'd mention it.
 

randommaster

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Sep 10, 2008
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Welcome to JRPGs, Yahtzee. Finding one without a bunch of fidly menus is hard, as the customization is usually a draw for fans. But you don't read these boards anyways, so I'm just talking to myself.

Anyways, one of the more entertaining episodes in a while. You can really feel his hate for the game.
 

MichaelMaverick

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Jan 28, 2009
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I must say Yahtzee's growing blander and more annoying to listen to with each passing review. Or at least terribly repetitive. (Yet another Adolf Hitler reference, replacing the first two letters in a given name with "b", joking about testicles being absorbed into body....does he do this intentionally to see if anyone's nerdy enough to keep track/remember? I would think so, but degrading his current review at that cost is pathetic.) Humor (or attempt at such) is much too forced and actually seems to have been heavily dominating over the criticism part as of late - kind of makes you wonder how he perceives his work at this point. I've always been more of a sympathizer as far as his opinions and presentation were concerned, always defended his name when people here and there called him pretentious and said he's popularising his hateful attitude (despite knowing it's pointless and a waste of time), but I've really rather grown inclined to agreeing with it in the past few weeks. I can understand that most games aren't that great these days and have their faults, and it can't be helped if Yahtzee ends up disliking most titles he gets his hands on because he couldn't have known or because they really do happen to be shitty, but why the fuck does he review a game he knows he's gonna hate? That EVERYONE knows he's gonna hate? Why does he even play it? Sure, he's got to have an overview as a critic, but is this sort of theatre truly necessary? Is popular demand so tiresome that he does it despite everything, even though he knows he's rambling about the same shit over and over? Even though he knows that he's making us witness him drifting down the same river of feces all over again?

I find it ironic how he often goes on about celebrities or famous/populistic individuals suffering worsened performace and eventual downfall when he's arriving at precisely that stage of his career himself.
 

Max-Vader

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May 9, 2009
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Well, his review was certainly awesome and he makes good points (the story and cutscenes can go to hell) but I still like the game. It's pretty fun, just sometimes frustrating when the enemys blow your tank up in the last second.
He actually bitched a lot less than I expected (seriously, he was SLIGHTLY entertained by a JRPG! That is quite something when you consider that he hates this genre more than anything.)
My favorite besides the "nazi-sympathiser" (somehow even more funny for me, maybe because I'm german) was certainly the "adopted"-joke. He might actually be right.

PS: What, no breast-jokes about the valkyrie?
 

MichaelMaverick

New member
Jan 28, 2009
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I must say Yahtzee's growing blander and more annoying to listen to with each passing review. Or at least terribly repetitive. (Yet another Adolf Hitler reference, replacing the first two letters in a given name with "b", joking about testicles being absorbed into body....does he do this intentionally to see if anyone's nerdy enough to keep track/remember? I would think so, but degrading his current review at that cost is pathetic.) Humor (or attempt at such) is much too forced and actually seems to have been heavily dominating over the criticism part as of late - kind of makes you wonder how he perceives his work at this point. I've always been more of a sympathizer as far as his opinions and presentation were concerned, always defended his name when people here and there called him pretentious and said he's popularising his hateful attitude (despite knowing it's pointless and a waste of time), but I've really rather grown inclined to agreeing with it in the past few weeks. I can understand that most games aren't that great these days and have their faults, and it can't be helped if Yahtzee ends up disliking most titles he gets his hands on because he couldn't have known or because they really do happen to be shitty, but why the fuck does he review a game he knows he's gonna hate? That EVERYONE knows he's gonna hate? Why does he even play it? Sure, he's got to have an overview as a critic, but is this sort of theatre truly necessary? Is popular demand so tiresome that he does it despite everything, even though he knows he's rambling about the same shit over and over? Even though he knows that he's making us witness him drifting down the same river of feces all over again?

I find it ironic how he often goes on about celebrities or famous/populistic individuals suffering worsened performace and eventual downfall when he's arriving at precisely that stage of his career himself.
 

solidstatemind

Digital Oracle
Nov 9, 2008
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As to why he reviewed a game that is heavily derivative (to be charitable) of a genre he loathes: evidently everyone missed the 'Sword of Damocles' reference at the beginning?

This epi was proof to me that Yahtzee is still pretty much on his comedic form, even if you don't agree with his verdict or opinions.

"Oh yes, we all know whose bratwurst you lot were snacking on back then!"

I laughed so hard the guys in the office across from me came over to see what was so fucking funny.

EDIT: and for the record, when I showed them, they were howling with laughter too. I think I may have just single-handedly destroyed the productivity of my group for the day however-- I'm pretty sure they're now going through the ZP back-catalog.
 

MichaelMaverick

New member
Jan 28, 2009
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I must say Yahtzee's growing blander and more annoying to listen to with each passing review. Or at least terribly repetitive. (Yet another Adolf Hitler reference, replacing the first two letters in a given name with "b", joking about testicles being absorbed into body....does he do this intentionally to see if anyone's nerdy enough to keep track/remember? I would think so, but degrading his current review at that cost is pathetic.) Humor (or attempt at such) is much too forced and actually seems to have been heavily dominating over the criticism part as of late - kind of makes you wonder how he perceives his work at this point. I've always been more of a sympathizer as far as his opinions and presentation were concerned, always defended his name when people here and there called him pretentious and said he's popularising his hateful attitude (despite knowing it's pointless and a waste of time), but I've really rather grown inclined to agreeing with it in the past few weeks. I can understand that most games aren't that great these days and have their faults, and it can't be helped if Yahtzee ends up disliking most titles he gets his hands on because he couldn't have known or because they really do happen to be shitty, but why the fuck does he review a game he knows he's gonna hate? That EVERYONE knows he's gonna hate? Why does he even play it? Sure, he's got to have an overview as a critic, but is this sort of theatre truly necessary? Is popular demand so tiresome that he does it despite everything, even though he knows he's rambling about the same shit over and over? Even though he knows that he's making us witness him drifting down the same river of feces all over again?

I find it ironic how he often goes on about celebrities or famous/populistic individuals suffering worsened performace and eventual downfall when he's arriving at precisely that stage of his career himself.
 

Tmcmistress

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Sep 19, 2008
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Not bad, but not Yahtzee's best. All the usual JRPG complaints (for the umpteenth time, even!), which is... ok, but the other jokes kind of fall flat. So, I score this review meh / MEH.
 

solidstatemind

Digital Oracle
Nov 9, 2008
1,077
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MichaelMaverick said:
just look up a couple of posts, I'm sure you'll find it
Dude. We got it the first time. You think Yahtzee is tired and cliched... that he has jumped the shark. You don't have to post that 6 times: looking that clueless sort of undermines any point you're trying to make.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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This review actually sucked...although I got lolz on him ripping on the JRPG elements and the blatant WWII style (and attempt to cover up) ...the review generally was lackluster and since it was a JRPGish game we clearly knew he would rip on these points...so ya completely disappointed....
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Tmcmistress said:
Not bad, but not Yahtzee's best. All the usual JRPG complaints (for the umpteenth time, even!), which is... ok, but the other jokes kind of fall flat. So, I score this review meh / MEH.
I agree except I think it crosses into bad review zone...may as well just took clips from other reviews and save himself the time ripping another JRPG apart with same old jokes
 

Barciad

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"We all know whose Bratwurst you were snacking on back then"
For Yahtzee not to have a dig at the Japanese would make the world go askew.
 

Biek

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Im glad Yahtzee confirmed my presumption of this game being one big DOING IT WRONG on world war 2. Wich is enough reason for me to loathe this game.

Yahtzee: 1
Japan: 0

He got me laughing with the "hero bringing his own tank" part.
 

risingphoenix

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Nice triple post.
He makes a very good point about the cutscenes and autosave - both are incredibly tedious and annoying. However, he clearly didn't train snipers because at level 10-11 they fucking run shit. They will shoot exactly at the crosshairs, and will 1 shot anything not crouching.
The primary reason I like the game so much is that it is so unique from any other game. It's flaws are minor enough to play the game.
 

readme.txt

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Since VC is pretty much the only game I envy the PS3 for this makes me feel a little better ... no I can at least pretend the game sucks ;)
 

Tmcmistress

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@ MichealMaverick: It's called schadenfreude for us, masochism for Yahtzee. Not to mention that, in Yahtzee's defense, I occasionally find myself glancing at Fox News, right-wing blogs, etc., just because I feel as though my forehead could use a few good slaps.
 

GloatingSwine

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So, yet another game Yahtzee slates because he can't find the menu options (hint: You can save in battle), complains about things which aren't true (hint: there are three upgrade paths for guns), and generally makes himself look a cock?

Colour me unsurprised.
 

Reb82

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Funny to see Yahtzee get angry at genre standards like the reaction shot. Makes me wonder what games the man actually plays. Hilarious review though.
 

solidstatemind

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Nov 9, 2008
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MichaelMaverick said:
EDIT: AND TO PROVE MY ABSOLUTE EXISTENTIAL SUPERIORITY OVER HIM, I HAVE POSTED THIS NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT FIVE TIMES. THAT'S RIGHT, THAT IS THE RATIONAL EXPLANATION BEHIND THIS. NOT THIS WEBSITE BEING A FLAMING PILE OF MUTATING ASSHOLES. NO SIR.
You know, most people probably would've just edited out all but one of the posts. But hey, you want to be a tool about the result of your own impatience, don't let us stand in your way.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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People who plan on taking this review seriously might want to bear in mind the numerous factual inaccuracies which suggest that he's barely played beyond the first couple of missions. Sandbags aren't the only things you can crouch behind and weapons can be upgraded in several different ways. If snipers are only hitting one in ten shots then I suggest he either reads the instruction manual or retires from playing video games. His line about the protagonist's sister being plot-centric and therefore invincible will be amusing to anyone who's played past the first third of the game. The comment about excessive micromanagement is also bizarre considering how simplistic it is in VC compared to other TRPGs.
 

beddo

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Generic 'I love Yahtzee comment', quote joke from this week's review and add lol.
 

Jursa

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Despite this review putting this game to shame, I still think it was a great game. Still a great review. I loved the bit with chess and elastic bands.
 

beddo

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harhol said:
The comment about excessive micromanagement is also bizarre considering how simplistic it is in VC compared to other TRPGs.
That does mean it's not excessive, just that the others are even worse. Tbh, he probably doesn't have time to play it all the way through to the end. I'd never play it anyway so I don't really care about the review.
 

beddo

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haakonb said:
Loved this ep and your description of JRGP's, can't agree more.

I HATE JRPG's


...and now I'll probably get a lot of angry faggy fanboy comments..
You'll actually get reported for saying; "faggy fanboy comments".

STFU and GTFO troll.
 

MowDownJoe

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bartholen said:
Chest high walls represented by the box of Gears 2 = brilliant.
I was so about to bring that up... love the reference to the earlier review. As well as "fractal spreadsheet nightmare".

Maybe when a new Fire Emblem comes out, Yahtzee can review that. Or he can tear into the remake of the first one... whichever.
 

Matsu

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I'm sad that Yahtzee evidently didn't play real far into the game.

Personally I loved VC right up until we find out who the titular Valkyria is. After that it became this obnoxious, amazingly predictable anvilicious deluge of bullshit. I would have loved for him to rip the story a new one, since pretty much every OTHER review of it gives it nothing but drooling praise.

Please, Mr. Croshaw, finish Valkyria Chronicles. I swear to God, it gets worse.
 

Max-Vader

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GloatingSwine said:
Max-Vader said:
PS: What, no breast-jokes about the valkyrie?
Given the complaint about upgrades, I bet he didn't even play that far.
True. As already pointed out by harhol, his claim of more screentime = invincible would prove that about halfway through the game. And if he calls that micromanagement, I wonder how he can play any RPG without bitching. Also, the Empire is not depicted as the all-evil - that is emphasised in one cutscene with a dying empire soldier and at the end of "what lies beyond hate". (And the Federation aren't much better than the empire anyway.)

His review was very funny, but he should at least know something about the game he's criticising and not go "Ok, I played the first three missions, thats enough - I already know it's shit because it's a JRPG!"

I get the feeling he didn't even give Valkyria Chronicles a chance although it' very unique because of his... let's say "prejudices" against it.
 

nixomose

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Me and my zero punctuation t shirt noticed that yahtzee has calmed down a bit ever since he said the word "ni-"
Which is too bad, I think. While I realize he is a game reviewer and this is the wrong venue for politics, it's a shame he has to limit her verbal outbursts to a rather small spectacle of modern life. Obviously this came from the boss.
Instead of making a game review show on the side, he should add politics to his auditory rampage, he could be the next jon stewart, he'd put howard stern to shame. Might even appear as the second coming of dice clay.

Anybody else agree?
 

GonzoGamer

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odisious15 said:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
odisious15 said:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
I don't know. I haven't been able to take Yhatzee's taste seriously since he recommended we all buy No More Heroes.

VC is way better than that crap, but yes I don't know why the consecutive cutscenes are sectioned off. That part gets annoying, especially if you don't feel like watching an anime episode.

Although, I have to say I love it when he makes fun of games I like. I wish he had made fun of Saints Row 2 more; it was brilliant sure, but it still had plenty to ridicule.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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beddo said:
harhol said:
The comment about excessive micromanagement is also bizarre considering how simplistic it is in VC compared to other TRPGs.
That does mean it's not excessive, just that the others are even worse. Tbh, he probably doesn't have time to play it all the way through to the end. I'd never play it anyway so I don't really care about the review.
If you don't want to micromanage units, don't play a TRPG...
It's like playing Gran Turismo and complaining because you have to drive a car.
And anyone who has played VC will know how astonishingly simple it is. Calling it "excessive" is ludicrous. Units don't even have EXP!
 
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I can understand that most games aren't that great these days and have their faults, and it can't be helped if Yahtzee ends up disliking most titles he gets his hands on because he couldn't have known or because they really do happen to be shitty, but why the fuck does he review a game he knows he's gonna hate? That EVERYONE knows he's gonna hate? Why does he even play it? Sure, he's got to have an overview as a critic, but is this sort of theatre truly necessary? Is popular demand so tiresome that he does it despite everything, even though he knows he's rambling about the same shit over and over? Even though he knows that he's making us witness him drifting down the same river of feces all over again?
He's said he's trying new things. He has been for at least a couple of reviews now. So he's trying out a JRPG in case the bile he spews at them so hilariously is in fact, not deserved
 

KeyMaster45

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While I generally stay away from Yahtzee's review threads I felt compelled to come here and say that this is the first one in a long time that felt like the Yahtzee videos he first put up on YouTube. It more than likely has to do with the fact he hates JRPG's and played a bad one at that than anything else.

I find though that the more I watch Yahtzee the more I drift away from main stream games and into the indie category. Is this a bad thing, or have I just grown tired with main stream games and need a break to play games like World of Goo, Crayon Physics, and the Wallace and Gromit episodic adventures? That's more of a rhetorical question I don't really need an answer to it.
 

Skeleon

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Wow, was this "name-change" serious?
That would be particularily dumb since Europe = Europa in many European languages.

Anyway, nice review.
Guess the developers couldn't be bothered to come up with a new story.
 
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I get the feeling he didn't even give Valkyria Chronicles a chance although it' very unique because of his... let's say "prejudices" against it.
He only has a week to play the games he's reviewing. And I doubt he gets every single hour of every single day to play the games he's reviewing. So with RPGs, games which take time and patience, of course he's not going to get all the way
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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lol very good, nice with a litle change tbh so we don't end up with "innovation being to this series what a cheeseburger is to a lactose intolerant Hindu."
 

Aptspire

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Next he might wanna try Phantom Crash...it has a nice semblant of MMO, with as much loading screen ^-^
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Patrick_and_the_ricks said:
GuNsLiNgEr X said:
*facepalm* Do you even care about the review or do you just want everyone to see you say the word fourth?
i dont see why they have to put them on probation for it >>

but the video was hilarious, im surprised he didnt deny anythign at the end
 

Lord George

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Hehe I love looking on the comment page just to laugh at how many idiots get probated or banned. You think they would have learnt by now. Anyway I thought it was quite a funny review, and just the right length of time to eat my toasty sandwich in.
 

Max-Vader

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Pallindromemordnillap said:
I get the feeling he didn't even give Valkyria Chronicles a chance although it' very unique because of his... let's say "prejudices" against it.
He only has a week to play the games he's reviewing. And I doubt he gets every single hour of every single day to play the games he's reviewing. So with RPGs, games which take time and patience, of course he's not going to get all the way
You're right, but... he just had to play it for about an hour and could have made more accurate points. Hell, he could have looked at the plot summary at Wikipedia. That would take him five minutes and even an review based on that alone would be more precise, but I guess he ignored that in favor of more humorous generalisations about it. It's his style to overreact so it's more funny, but at some points he was either completly clueless or lying (for example, the upgradesystem and "micromanagement").
 

UtopiaV1

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Teiraa said:
UtopiaV1 said:
Hey guys, just a heads' up, Yahtzee isn't a reviewer...

He's the class clown.
is that why he is famous and has hundreds of thousands of fans?
Yes, that's right! Finally someone who understands, he is funny, hence popular! If you want a review, go see Susan Arendt or John Funk... although I wouldn't recommend it because they are awful reviewers and aren't funny in the slightest...
 

odisious15

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viscountesslafiel said:
odisious15 said:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
You're incredibly stupid if you think Yatzees opinion means much, especially when he reviews a genre he hates.
Well seeing as how I have agreed with quite a few of his past reviews; I'd have to say his opinions do carry some merit; on the other hand there are some games I own (and love) that he ripped to shreds in past reviews (FEAR2, The Witcher, etc.). Also as someone who is not a huge fan of JRPG's to begin with, having someone with a similar viewpoint review a game can be a good thing.

Insulting someone who obviously took the review with a grain of salt is quite petty.
 
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Max-Vader said:
Pallindromemordnillap said:
I get the feeling he didn't even give Valkyria Chronicles a chance although it' very unique because of his... let's say "prejudices" against it.
He only has a week to play the games he's reviewing. And I doubt he gets every single hour of every single day to play the games he's reviewing. So with RPGs, games which take time and patience, of course he's not going to get all the way
You're right, but... he just had to play it for about an hour and could have made more accurate points. Hell, he could have looked at the plot summary at Wikipedia. That would take him five minutes and even an review based on that alone would be more precise, but I guess he ignored that in favor of more humorous generalisations about it. It's his style to overreact so it's more funny, but at some points he was either completly clueless or lying (for example, the upgradesystem and "micromanagement").
Correction: You could have played it for an hour and got more accurate points. You don't really have any idea of how far Yahtzee would have gotten in an hour, nor of how much he could have gleaned from cutscenes he clearly did not like and wouldn't have given his undivided attention (then again, he could have given his undivided attention to them. I don't know what he did either, and I don't pretend to.)

His reviews tend to be about his experience playing the game. Looking up the summary on wikipedia doesn't give you any experience with the game. The only review I can think of where he definitely used something other than the game of the week was his Turok review.

The micromanagement could well just be a matter of opinion. You could be used to such things, and he is not. Like desensitisation.
 

mgmchenry

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X-COM

Yahtzee, please play the original. I wish I had the cash to sponsor your review of this game. It has minor interface issues that stem from the time that it was made. Regardless, it stands out as a work of inspired genius.

I know from playing Art of Theft that you have something to say about game design. You are missing some perspective if you haven't played this one.
 

cobrausn

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An X-COM would be nice. Hopefully the first, as the unpatched version of the second one could not be completed (though it was fun).

Also, compassion is overrated.
 

NeutralDrow

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When is he going to review a standard JRPG?

I mean, I'm glad he's probably interested in tactical RPGs now, but frankly I'd stick with Fire Emblem in that case.
 

Jasper Kazai

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Was that an Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade reference during the credits when Hitler signed the book? Awesome.
 

Max-Vader

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Correction: You could have played it for an hour and got more accurate points. You don't really have any idea of how far Yahtzee would have gotten in an hour, nor of how much he could have gleaned from cutscenes he clearly did not like and wouldn't have given his undivided attention (then again, he could have given his undivided attention to them. I don't know what he did either, and I don't pretend to.)
I used an extreme example. I'm pretty sure he played it for more than an hour. But my point is: Why review something you have no knowledge about? Yes, I have no idea how far he got, but if he even looked at it properly (i.e. more than five minutes) he would have realized that some of his statemens are not quite correct, to say the least.

His reviews tend to be about his experience playing the game. Looking up the summary on wikipedia doesn't give you any experience with the game. The only review I can think of where he definitely used something other than the game of the week was his Turok review.
Correct, it doesn't give gameplay experience. He sometimes just watches cutscenes from games, because he can't play them all the way through (I think he did that with Resident Evil 1-3). If he did that, he could have mocked the Deus ex Machina near the end. He could even play the game for one hour to give himself an idea, then just watch the cutscenes somewhere. It is less work for him, because he hates JRPGs so much and he knew everything there is to know, thus giving him more time to "play other, less horrible games".

The micromanagement could well just be a matter of opinion. You could be used to such things, and he is not. Like desensitisation.
It could be... but it isn't because it is no micromanagement. I'm not used to micromanage every little thing and it would definitely annoy me, too. (cough Starcraft cough)
But to call it micromanagement isn't going the extra mile, it's going to the moon, so to speak. I was upgrading my squad after every mission (which you don't even have to) and it took me about five minutes. Yes, you can custumize your tank and crap like that, but why do it? The important things don't take much time, and some are not even neccesary.
 

ElTigreNegro

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harhol said:
People who plan on taking this review seriously might want to bear in mind the numerous factual inaccuracies which suggest that he's barely played beyond the first couple of missions. Sandbags aren't the only things you can crouch behind and weapons can be upgraded in several different ways. If snipers are only hitting one in ten shots then I suggest he either reads the instruction manual or retires from playing video games. His line about the protagonist's sister being plot-centric and therefore invincible will be amusing to anyone who's played past the first third of the game. The comment about excessive micromanagement is also bizarre considering how simplistic it is in VC compared to other TRPGs.
This, i mean, i like Yahtzee's reviews and i agree with him in a lot of things. But like any other review site ever it's something that i take as a grain of salt, not as "the universal truth". It's both funny and sad that a great game like VC will get a bad look by many just because "OMG Yahtzee doesn't like it, and i must shape my taste to fit his own taste!" It's pretty obvious that he will never make a 100% fully positive review of a japanese RPG ever. Expecting one will be like expecting the great pumpkin.
 

Vlane

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I haven't watched the full video yet but let me say this Yahtzee: In DDS half human half demon adults kill god (and satan if you want but he is the good guy).
 

tehweave

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First off... Why were so many people put on probation for posting the INSTANT the video was up? Yes, it's kind of annoying but putting someone on probation for saying "this looks awesome" seems a bit excessive to me.

That being said, they were all very thick for posting so quickly.

Now then, I found this review to be quite funny, mostly because like everyone else I love it when Yahtzee completely tears a game a new one, and we all can probably pick a JRPG or RPG, or FPS for that matter, to make fun of, and this one looks quite awful.

Bravo, yahtzee. Hilarious.
 

Osafune2

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"He likes crisps and he grew up in Swindon."

That was the bit that made me laugh the hardest.
 

Triple AD

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you could tell at the bit where he was talking about them asking if you want to see the cutscene he was getting very angry...
 

Evil Tim

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tehweave said:
First off... Why were so many people put on probation for posting the INSTANT the video was up? Yes, it's kind of annoying but putting someone on probation for saying "this looks awesome" seems a bit excessive to me.
Because they haven't watched the video and so their posts might as well say "+1" for all the use they are. They're spam.
 

Vlane

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tehweave said:
First off... Why were so many people put on probation for posting the INSTANT the video was up? Yes, it's kind of annoying but putting someone on probation for saying "this looks awesome" seems a bit excessive to me.

That being said, they were all very thick for posting so quickly.

Now then, I found this review to be quite funny, mostly because like everyone else I love it when Yahtzee completely tears a game a new one, and we all can probably pick a JRPG or RPG, or FPS for that matter, to make fun of, and this one looks quite awful.

Bravo, yahtzee. Hilarious.
They got put on probation because they haven't watched the video. If you haven't watched the video you can't say it's awesome.
 

PeterDawson

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A bit kinder than I would of thought. I'm a fan of the game so naturally I could spot some flaws in the review (upgrade 1 way only weapons coming to mind as well as some spoiler bits) but least there were no rediculous haircuts (outside the ordinary, anyhow, I believe one guy had a mohawk?) in the game and they actually explained the strange haircolors. I did like his anaylsis of Oscar (I think it was him) the sniper since snipers are bullet-magnets due to the fear of them getting a one-hit kill on you but his accuracy at first is the worst of the bunch. I will definitely agree that the game could use a better save system.
 

Alien1375

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Kinda sad that Yahtzee and most members on this forum can't see the difference between a JRPG and a turn-based strategy game....

It's got anime girls, therefore it's a JRPG... Right...
 

TetsuoKaneda

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No, it's a JRPG because it's a tactical RPG done by Japanese developers, with androgynous main characters, and with a name like "Valkyria Chronicles". Civ IV, Master of Orion, and X-COM are turn-based strategies. By this logic, you might as well call Fire Emblem or Kartia a turn-based strategy game, and they very clearly aren't.
 

Evil Tim

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Alien1375 said:
Kinda sad that Yahtzee and most members on this forum can't see the difference between a JRPG and a turn-based strategy game....
The massive, world-shattering difference being one is about plot-heavy turn-based combat and the other is about slightly more complicated plot-heavy turn-based combat, I suppose.
 

Grayjack

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I'm sad Yahtzee didn't make a joke about Selvaria's cleavage. Maybe he didn't get that far.
 

Pumpkin_Eater

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As impressive as you lung capacity is I preferred it when you would splice several breaths worth of rambling together so they sounded like one breath. Hearing you run out of breath is always disillusioning.
 

srpilha

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someone has a new vortex drawing. and a new bratwurst pic too. :)

pretty funny review, but the hatred sort of gets in the way. just sort of.
 

mike1921

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Onyx Oblivion said:
Don't know why I watch this anymore...It's just not funny anymore, and he never actually reviews the game. He even failed to mention the beautiful art style.

There's only so much JRPG bashing that I can take before my head asplodes.
He rarely mentions graphics. Remember the crysis review? He wants to work the story and gameplay gnomes. Sure, he gave a mention in his thief review but that wasn't really a criticism. Mentions of graphics shouldn't be an expectation, unless the person reviewing is a graphics whore.
 

McMarbles

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I don't know what I was expecting to from this review, but whatever it was, I didn't get it. On eof your weaker efforts, Mr. Croshaw.
 

Mongodyr

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srpilha said:
someone has a new vortex drawing. and a new bratwurst pic too. :)

pretty funny review, but the hatred sort of gets in the way. just sort of.
Don't look at it like a review, just view it as a verbal beatdown. :)
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Evil Tim said:
Alien1375 said:
Kinda sad that Yahtzee and most members on this forum can't see the difference between a JRPG and a turn-based strategy game....
The massive, world-shattering difference being one is about plot-heavy turn-based combat and the other is about slightly more complicated plot-heavy turn-based combat, I suppose.
They're completely different genres. Valkyria Chronicles is no more a JRPG than Gears of War.
Which TRPGs have you played that were similar to JRPGs and vice-versa?

mike1921 said:
Mentions of graphics shouldn't be an expectation, unless the person reviewing is a graphics whore.
Appreciating a unique & beautiful art style is not being a "graphics whore".
 

Evil Tim

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harhol said:
They're completely different genres. Valkyria Chronicles is no more a JRPG than Gears of War.
Yeah, it's just a Japanese game in which you take part in turn-based combat with a squad of oddball characters in silly costumes who talk a lot. Totally different to a JRPG, that. Not, for example, all the trappings of a JRPG stacked on top of a slightly different game.
 

mike1921

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harhol said:
mike1921 said:
Mentions of graphics shouldn't be an expectation, unless the person reviewing is a graphics whore.
Appreciating a unique & beautiful art style is not being a "graphics whore".
Yes, but it's not to be expected, it's definitely not a failure for a game reviewer to not mention it.
 

Kstreitenfeld

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Taking an interest in turn based Strategy eh Yahtzee? Well if you haven't tried it yet I would really recommend Advance Wars for the GBA(they do have DS titles but I found the original to be the best).
 

mike1921

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harhol said:
People who plan on taking this review seriously might want to bear in mind the numerous factual inaccuracies which suggest that he's barely played beyond the first couple of missions. Sandbags aren't the only things you can crouch behind and weapons can be upgraded in several different ways. If snipers are only hitting one in ten shots then I suggest he either reads the instruction manual or retires from playing video games. His line about the protagonist's sister being plot-centric and therefore invincible will be amusing to anyone who's played past the first third of the game. The comment about excessive micromanagement is also bizarre considering how simplistic it is in VC compared to other TRPGs.
Quit playing videogames? Because he's not good at JRPGs? Fuck you. Also, I highly doubt that any game where you have to play 1/3 of it for it to get good ever will get good.
 

Alien1375

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Putting your units at strategic parts of the map during your turn to attack the enemy, and letting the enemy do the same in his turn sounds like a turn-based strategy game to me...

Now walking with a group trough a landscape and being randomly attacked by monsters while the group sticks together to fight the enemy one at the time is closer to my definition of a RPG.

But I have to agree, the game is Japanese (Yay!)
 

AlphaNukey

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Vlane said:
I haven't watched the full video yet but let me say this Yahtzee: In DDS half human half demon adults kill god (and satan if you want but he is the good guy).
God I love DDS so hard.
I think Yahtzee should totally review DDS, or at least a Shin Megami Tensei game. I'm morbidly curious.
Persona has a lot of the androgynous teenagers saving the world, (despite the fact that I love that game too), but DDS was much more mature.
 

polygon

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I love how every time Yahtzee calls JRPGs out for the repulsing generic repetitive excuses for entertainment they are, there are at least five cockheads who come out of the woodwork and proclaim that he's jumped the shark.
 

ElArabDeMagnifico

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Love the game but I thought this was hilarious, it's so funny to see him out of his "comfort zone" and have him go through so much pain.
 

antipunt

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lol. yatzhee should just stop reviewing jRPGS, it seems like he's in so much pain
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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mike1921 said:
harhol said:
If snipers are only hitting one in ten shots then I suggest he either reads the instruction manual or retires from playing video games.
Quit playing videogames? Because he's not good at JRPGs? Fuck you. Also, I highly doubt that any game where you have to play 1/3 of it for it to get good ever will get good.
The way snipers work in VC: you line up the reticule over the enemy soldier until it turns red, then you press fire. Unless the enemy is of a markedly higher level (usually one of these guys on each map, sometimes none) or has a special dodging ability (almost always limited to the aforementioned) then the shot will hit 95% of the time. If the enemy has his back turned, the shot will hit 100% of the time. Not to mention that some snipers have special abilities which boost accuracy & prevent dodging. There is no skill involved because the game is paused while you aim. So if he's only hitting 1/10 of the time, he's doing something wrong; it's not about being "good at JRPGs". And you don't have to play 1/3 of the game for it to "get good": like most games it starts off with limited customization options and gives you more & more choices as you progress (like starting off with a knife & pistol in an action game and finishing off with a full arsenal & super powers).

mike1921 said:
It's definitely not a failure for a game reviewer to not mention [graphics].
If the graphics are noteworthy, they should be mentioned. I've bought several games based on graphics alone, some of which I've regretted (Auto Modellista, Viewtiful Joe) and some of which I've savoured (Killer 7, Rez). Polygons may not be important but visuals certainly are.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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I get the impression that he liked the gameplay at least, just not the tedious micromanagement and cutscenes. it seems like he didn't really get the point of the enemies being able to attack you during your turn and vice versa (it allows you to set up ambushes.)
 

Matsu

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harhol said:
The way snipers work in VC: you line up the reticule over the enemy soldier until it turns red, then you press fire. Unless the enemy is of a markedly higher level (usually one of these guys on each map, sometimes none) or has a special dodging ability (almost always limited to the aforementioned) then the shot will hit 95% of the time. Not to mention that some snipers have special abilities which boost accuracy & prevent dodging. There is no skill involved because the game is paused while you aim. So if he's only hitting 1/10 of the time, he's doing something wrong; it's not about being "good at JRPGs". And you don't have to play 1/3 of the game for it to "get good": like most games it starts off with limited customization options and gives you more & more choices as you progress (like starting off with a knife & pistol in an action game and finishing off with a full arsenal & super powers).
It should also be noted that from the description, he was probably using Oscar, who is the worst sniper in the game, and a large part of his character. He wouldn't have gotten those results with say, Cezary, or .. what's her face, with the inexplicable accent.
 

AxonZin

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"Some things just don't combine, like republicans and compassion."

Had me falling out of my seat in laughter. Yahtzee, you marvelous bastard.
 

menhir

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He must not have played very far, because the story gets a LOT worse and he didn't mention the cutscenes very many times.
 

Sgt Doom

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Someone send him a crate of stress medication before he goes on a killing spree, he sounded like he was ready to rip people's jugulars out with his teeth.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Evil Tim said:
harhol said:
They're completely different genres. Valkyria Chronicles is no more a JRPG than Gears of War.
Yeah, it's just a Japanese game in which you take part in turn-based combat with a squad of oddball characters in silly costumes who talk a lot. Totally different to a JRPG, that. Not, for example, all the trappings of a JRPG stacked on top of a slightly different game.
You're talking about turn-based combat like it's some kind of unified entity. Devil May Cry and Half-Life have real-time combat, guess they must be the same huh? The country of its origin is irrelevant. The story tropes are derived from animé, not JRPGs. Not to mention that the gameplay is completely different, e.g. one of the main features of JRPGs is exploration, something which TRPGs never feature.
 

RTR

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The anomation during the credits reminded me of the third Indiana Jones movie.
Today, I learnt a new word: motherfuckery
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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LOl at gears of war refrence with the chest high walls(they using gears of war 2 box as a chest high wall)

I love the evil empire and republican joke.
 

AngryFrenchCanadian

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Usually I enjoy watching Zero Punctuation, but this time I was really disgusted. I played Valkryia Chronicles and it was one of the best game I've ever experienced last year. I felt like Yahtzee only tried the game for an hour.
 

WendelI

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you made a whole episode based on the fact that you are not raceist, and now you support hitler? Ow the poaradox is beautiful. Also loved the are you shure joke.
 

AhumbleKnight

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odisious15 said:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
Try 'Last Remenant'. Made by Square Enix, it has it's flaws but overall it is a very good and enjoyable game. The battle system is unique and the story is ok. The biggest letdown would be the main character, but other than that, a worth while game.
 

Quiotu

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It's always painful to watch Yahtzee review games that are good rather than ones that are universally bad. The bad ones we can all equally enjoy him ranting about, but only those that don't like that specific genre can enjoy him verbally asaulting a game with an average review score close to 90%.

I find him funny with pretty much every episode, and this one wasn't an exception; however, while I find his ranting really funny, without a lot of actual valid points about why the game is bad (instead of rambling about how he doesn't like the genre as a whole), the episode just boils down to a well thought out trolling.

People might argue that he's like that with every episode, but I'd have to disagree. Most of the games he digs into are mediocre at best, and if they're worse than that... he tends to be giddy as a schoolgirl, because he has lots to talk about. I swear he was pissed at this game half because he was playing a genre he hates, and half because he was running out of shit to make fun of.
 

tkwelge

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Republicans and compassion? I don't even get it. Plenty of Republicans have done compassionate things, such as donating to charity or generally being helpful. Reagan himself kept a stack of blank checks in his desk, and if anybody needed something, without being asked, he would pull one out, write in a number and sign it. I've heard of statistics showing that, at times, Republicans have higher rates of charitable donation than Democrats OF SIMILAR INCOME. Plus, I truly don't agree with what the Republican party has become, but I still believe that they do what they think is right for the country. Is trying to help people not compassionate? Just because you're against giving more money to more failed government programs that hurt people more in the end, you're uncompassionate?

Yahtzee isn't an american, and I'm sure that he doesn't give a flying f**k in the first place. It was really more of a pop culture joke. The kind that Family Guy fans think is hilarious. Oh Scott McFarlan (sp?) keep cranking out those winners....
 

Tiger Sora

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I really liked this weeks episode it really made my giggle. Nazi's rule!!!!! if u r into that.
 

TheSchaef

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And one more person falls prey to the contrived connection between the presence of compassion and the mindset that the federal government is the ONLY possible implementation of said compassion.

Or even the best implementation.

Or even a very good one.

But excellent humor fodder for viewers who can fit their political philosophy on a bumper sticker.
 

Sheamus

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awe, I really enjoyed this and the game, while it's not perfect I liked that the developers tried something new. The part where he talked about only being able to upgrade weapons in one direction proves that he didn't play the game for that long, eventually you do get 2 to 3 different upgrade paths to chose from.

As far as the story goes his quote "sometimes things don't combine" is spot on about Yahtzee and jrpg's, I thought it was good, you're not the boy who wants to be a hero, he's just trying to protect his hometown/family/friends and would rather be a teacher than a war hero. still love zero punctuation but should've givien VC more of a chance.
 

Arella18

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I can't blame him for that...I mean honestly with some of these games I find myself wanting the badguys to win for once...anyway I love these videos and I look forward to seeing them.
 

MasterTroll

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I love Yatzee's reviews, but I really wish people would not judge whether or not to buy games based on a reviewer who exagerates problems for comedic effect and rage.....

Also Disgaea 3 probably would have been more up his ally.
 

ninjajoeman

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viscountesslafiel said:
odisious15 said:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
You're incredibly stupid if you think Yatzees opinion means much, especially when he reviews a genre he hates.
Well if you think about it if he doesn't seem to find that much wrong with it then the game must be godly good.

PS: Any one notice that Nazi rhymes with Yahtzee?
 

TetsuoKaneda

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Alien1375 said:
Putting your units at strategic parts of the map during your turn to attack the enemy, and letting the enemy do the same in his turn sounds like a turn-based strategy game to me...

Now walking with a group trough a landscape and being randomly attacked by monsters while the group sticks together to fight the enemy one at the time is closer to my definition of a RPG.
Wow...I'm...I'm sorry, but I have to buy you a beer...that made my day. I've never met anyone who's never played Eternal Poison, Disgaea 1, 2, or 3, Kartia, Hoshigami: Ruining Blue Earth, Fire Emblem, Vandal Hearts, Final Fantasy Tactics (in any of its incarnations), or any of the NUMEROUS other JRPGs with tactical elements. I know I'm missing a few.
 

Low Frost

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Wow.
I can't get over how surprised I am that he did this game.
On that note, why does he keep doing obvious anime style jrpgs when everywhen and their dog knows he doesn't like their aesthetics?
Have him do Planetscape Torment if he wants to really ratchet up the nerd rage.
 

Autocracy

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I was both surprised and full of dread when I saw Valkyria chronicles.

Personally, I enjoy JRPGs but I do understand that the genre isn't for everyone. I also understand that the same can be said about Western RPGs, First Person Shooters, and pretty much any other genre.

So, after considering that, you learn pretty quick--unless you're a retard--that a genre isn't bad because you don't like it. You don't like the genre because A.) You SUCK at it or B.) It just doesn't tickle your fancy.

Actually, I have a theory about why RPGs of that sort aren't popular with certain people. Short attention spans. Short attention spans, lack of patience (IE a need for instant gratification) and the strong desire to hit things with a metaphorical club. Story and plot seem to take a back seat to violence and super violence. Of course, this is me being jaded and I might be exaggerating a little.

As for why he wanted to review one, clearly someone wasn't paying attention. He did a RTS and a flight Sim, two genres he doesn't normally do so he decided to top it off with an RPG.
 

Kikosemmek

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Funny, as always, but it's been a while since ZP reviewed a game that actually mattered (with the exception of RE5). I mean this, HAWX, Riddick, Siren, 50 Cent... these are nothing-games that weren't going anywhere to begin with.

It's always much better if Yahtzee gives it to big/successful game. I'd have loved to see him rip up Dawn of War II or Empire: Total War, but sadly these are RTS games, and he isn't big on that.

---

Otherwise, his summary of JRPG's is equivalent to mine- eeeeaaagggh.
 

Word Salad

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I loved Valkyria Chronicles. It's a great game. For the most part, Yahtzee made some very valid points, I was thinking the same thing. My only disagreement with him is with the micro-management, that's pretty much standard SRPG.
 

Autocracy

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TetsuoKaneda said:
Alien1375 said:
Putting your units at strategic parts of the map during your turn to attack the enemy, and letting the enemy do the same in his turn sounds like a turn-based strategy game to me...

Now walking with a group trough a landscape and being randomly attacked by monsters while the group sticks together to fight the enemy one at the time is closer to my definition of a RPG.
Wow...I'm...I'm sorry, but I have to buy you a beer...that made my day. I've never met anyone who's never played Eternal Poison, Disgaea 1, 2, or 3, Kartia, Hoshigami: Ruining Blue Earth, Fire Emblem, Vandal Hearts, Final Fantasy Tactics (in any of its incarnations), or any of the NUMEROUS other JRPGs with tactical elements. I know I'm missing a few.
Luminous Arc one and two. There are tons but many are made by small companies that would find it financially impossible to send it on over so we only see a relatively small number of them.
 

Autocracy

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Quiotu said:
It's always painful to watch Yahtzee review games that are good rather than ones that are universally bad. The bad ones we can all equally enjoy him ranting about, but only those that don't like that specific genre can enjoy him verbally asaulting a game with an average review score close to 90%.

I find him funny with pretty much every episode, and this one wasn't an exception; however, while I find his ranting really funny, without a lot of actual valid points about why the game is bad (instead of rambling about how he doesn't like the genre as a whole), the episode just boils down to a well thought out trolling.

People might argue that he's like that with every episode, but I'd have to disagree. Most of the games he digs into are mediocre at best, and if they're worse than that... he tends to be giddy as a schoolgirl, because he has lots to talk about. I swear he was pissed at this game half because he was playing a genre he hates, and half because he was running out of shit to make fun of.
I sympathize, I really do. He trashes a number of games that I enjoy but you need to understand that tastes differ. To some Halo is the greatest game ever made and to others it's generic trash. Some regard Final Fantasy as God's gift to the planet and others think of it, well, like Yahtzee thinks. You shouldn't have hard feelings because someone disagrees even to this extent. There's no point. He hasn't changed your mind and you probably won't change his mind.

As for his negative reviews of "popular" games, again, it's about tastes. You really ought to pay a visit to his mailbag showdown. He makes some great points about it in there. But there's something positive to come from his negative view. In a world where we all nod our heads and agree to throw a positive mark on something, it's good to have a dissenting voice. To compare and contrast, for one thing, and to help improve a game. If everyone is nodding their head and being yes men, how does a company know whether to improve or not? Or how to improve.

Besides. It's funny as hell.
 

nipsen

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tkwelge said:
Yahtzee isn't an american, and I'm sure that he doesn't give a flying f**k in the first place. It was really more of a pop culture joke. The kind that Family Guy fans think is hilarious. Oh Scott McFarlan (sp?) keep cranking out those winners....
Mm. Sort of wondering if the review was meant to be irony over popular game- critics who have.. in some way become "balanced" and "fair" by ditching their first set of presumptions for another equally hilarious one, or something of that sort.

I mean, he obviously haven't played the game past the first chapter. The entire story revolves around glorification and demonizing of people, empires and government, war and ideology, and so on. The Japanese looking commanders are flat out evil, and they demonstrate the ideology of the empire and how it's used to justify cruelty philosophically. And that's really the only thing in the game that touches anything having to do with overworked tired clichés. Becauase from there on and in the game is pretty much unique. Never mind the artwork, the style and the combat.

In fact I know he didn't play the game beyond the first chapter, because early on in the game you find some kind of magical animal - I have no idea why this turns up in every Japanese game, but there you have it - and he could've made an entire episode on that magical winged pig that can't fly alone. Seriously, I was looking forward to hearing all the jokes about it - they practically make themselves - and there's just tired crap having a go at things that actually isn't in the game. And where are the digs about the armored tits and the huge lesbian with the lance, I ask. Or the naive girl's obsession with baked bread? Or the macho guy's confessed love for vegetables. Honestly, it's a treasure- trove for insensitive asshole digs, and where is it - nowhere. Instead there's jokes about everything else than the game.

It's not often, but this was disappointing.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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While I normally agree with Yahtzee, I have to disagree with this game being bad. The game does warn you to save before every battle. While the amount of menus can get annoying, after a few hours of playing it I don't mind it. The combat in the game is fun, and just cause they are only shooting at you doesn't mean everyone else is safe. You can run past someone on your team, and if they are shooting at you, can hit and kill that person.

If you scroll down in the R&D menu for weapons, they do branch off into different types, focusing on certain aspects, so the "singular path" part is a crock of bull for most weapons. The characters aren't the norm stereotypes, and if you read the backstory for Welkins, its not just cause of him owning a tank. He, like many youth, had to take some military training. He followed in his father's footsteps, as did his "sister" Isara, and took classes based on what he's doing now, same as her following her engineer father's footsteps.

If you decided not to get this game solely on what he has said, you are a tool, try the game out before-hand.
 

jboking

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What I got out of this review was, "The menu screen kinda sucked, it's anime, I couldn't use the sniper class and it forced me to learn a new way to play a game." all of those things are negligible. However, as for the "learn a new way to play" thing, if you understand that your enemy will shoot at you if you get too close then this little thing called strategy gets involved. Sorry if strategy ruins your fun. Of course if it does then you probably shouldn't be playing a Tactical Role-Playing Game.
 

IamQ

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funny how like the first 8 people got put on probation in SECONDS!
 

HotTubTony

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hey republicans all=dick cheney.

Often, opinions expressed in humor reflect what the speaker really thinks, or in this case, has been told what to think by sensationalist easy-to-listen-to media. Media that expresses its personal bias as common knowledge (an effective way to convince people of things). Here's a news flash: big media is all owned by big companies! Survival of that company's product (aka the news) depends on them being right, hence, expressing the management's personal speculations as general fact. This makes for seemingly credible information, and therefore tons and tons of money for said management. For someone who claims to have a clear perspective, he can sure dismiss half of an entire country very easily (adding to the sensationalism and ignorance).

And I know he doesnt care, nor would I care to convince anybody of anything (God forbid). Its funny to be dismissive. It really is.

PS Dick Cheney is a crazy mamma jamma

Rant over.
 

Dartinin

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If he wants to experiment with a turn based rts he should try fire emblem i would suggest the first in the series(at least the first for the gba I'm not sure just how far back it goes). It has all the turn based Rock/Paper/Scissors fighting he seemed to like without the unfair unit movement attack ability it even has the ability to speed through the cut scenes which came in handy during the 10+ paragraph cut scenes they seem to think you want to read which do little to nothing in adding to the game play(as in you don't get much if any useful info by watching them).
 

Autocracy

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harhol said:
Evil Tim said:
harhol said:
They're completely different genres. Valkyria Chronicles is no more a JRPG than Gears of War.
Yeah, it's just a Japanese game in which you take part in turn-based combat with a squad of oddball characters in silly costumes who talk a lot. Totally different to a JRPG, that. Not, for example, all the trappings of a JRPG stacked on top of a slightly different game.
You're talking about turn-based combat like it's some kind of unified entity. Devil May Cry and Half-Life have real-time combat, guess they must be the same huh? The country of its origin is irrelevant. The story tropes are derived from animé, not JRPGs. Not to mention that the gameplay is completely different, e.g. one of the main features of JRPGs is exploration, something which TRPGs never feature.
Okay. I tried. I really did. I tried to look away but I just can't let this rest.

You seem like a reasonable chap, you really do, but you reasoning is flawed as is your comparisons. Honestly, I hate the line of thinking and how common sense is abandoned by amateur fans of the genre. Of course, I never was a fan of the way gamers liked to try and classify things. What is Valkyria Chronicles. It's a turn-based Role Playing game that is from Japan, therefor it is a Japanese Role Playing Game. AKA a JRPG. It is very much relevant and I don't know why it wouldn't be.

Naturally, this doesn't mean all turn-based strategy RPG games are Japanese so this is more a case of rectangles and squares. A square is a rectangle but a rectangle is not a square.

And yes, you made mention of anime tropes but you forget that these same tropes are also applied to Japanese Role Playing Games (you could probably argue that the tropes are not exclusive to just anime and that anime merely draws from these tropes) and that a lot of them contain anime-style cut scenes and designs.

As I sit here and think about it, I wince at the term "Japanese Role Playing Game". It seems a little, well, racist. I don't know. Maybe that's just me.
 

McGee

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I have to agree with Yahtzee, but I also LOATHE JRPGs or games that have heavy anime themes. My best friend absolutely loves these games and it seems like every other week he has a new one for me to try. A few weeks ago it was this rubbish game. I sat through 3 hours of play before I absolutely couldn't take it any longer. The thing I agree with Yahtzee the most on is the menu system.
 

Autocracy

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cursedseishi said:
While I normally agree with Yahtzee, I have to disagree with this game being bad. The game does warn you to save before every battle. While the amount of menus can get annoying, after a few hours of playing it I don't mind it. The combat in the game is fun, and just cause they are only shooting at you doesn't mean everyone else is safe. You can run past someone on your team, and if they are shooting at you, can hit and kill that person.

If you scroll down in the R&D menu for weapons, they do branch off into different types, focusing on certain aspects, so the "singular path" part is a crock of bull for most weapons. The characters aren't the norm stereotypes, and if you read the backstory for Welkins, its not just cause of him owning a tank. He, like many youth, had to take some military training. He followed in his father's footsteps, as did his "sister" Isara, and took classes based on what he's doing now, same as her following her engineer father's footsteps.

If you decided not to get this game solely on what he has said, you are a tool, try the game out before-hand.
Who are you trying to convince? Who? Why? Honestly, the effort isn't worth it. Especially if you don't understand a key element. Taste. It's a matter of taste. What do you like? You like Valkyria Chronicles? Good. Keep liking it. Yahtzee doesn't. Move on.

You'll find that people have different tastes. Some people like chocolate, some people like Vanilla. Some people like Halo, some people like Half-Life. You can't just tell them they are wrong because you liked/hated the thing. They have every right to like whatever they want.

And you want to know the real funny thing? Yahtzee ain't telling you to like or dislike anything. All he is doing is sharing his opinion on the matter and making money while he does it. He even talked about it in the mailbag showdown. It's hilarious.

Why people have this kind of crusader mentality to defend whatever they like is beyond me. It doesn't do anything but cause great big and usually annoying arguments (although you have been well-behaved, thankfully, and courteous in your remarks; many people are not). The companies don't care and care less about the people defending them. But either way, you aren't changing the mind of the person (IE Yahtzee) or anyone that thinks like him. They are more or less set in their opinion as you are in yours.

So, in summary. Opinions are like a-holes. Everybody has one. No, no. People are different and will like different things so get use to it. The sooner you do, the more fun you'll have.
 

Autocracy

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McGee said:
I have to agree with Yahtzee, but I also LOATHE JRPGs or games that have heavy anime themes. My best friend absolutely loves these games and it seems like every other week he has a new one for me to try. A few weeks ago it was this rubbish game. I sat through 3 hours of play before I absolutely couldn't take it any longer. The thing I agree with Yahtzee the most on is the menu system.
Oh boy. Don't like menus? I hate to tell you this but it's not just Japanese RPGS that have great big menus. Eh, I suggest you not try any MMO. Especially not Eve Online. That gets complicated fast. Witcher? Yeah, don't go there. Some might argue that some of the Resident Evil Games get complicated but that's up for debate.
 

Grischna

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LOOOL

"chestile walls" made me laugh freakin hard^^
and the comment on chess lol
yahtzee ure in godmode again that was one of ur best videos again, but if i think about it every single one of ur videos is one of ur best
 

Autocracy

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HotTubTony said:
hey republicans all=dick cheney.

Often, opinions expressed in humor reflect what the speaker really thinks, or in this case, has been told what to think by sensationalist easy-to-listen-to media. Media that expresses its personal bias as common knowledge (an effective way to convince people of things). Here's a news flash: big media is all owned by big companies! Survival of that company's product (aka the news) depends on them being right, hence, expressing the management's personal speculations as general fact. This makes for seemingly credible information, and therefore tons and tons of money for said management. For someone who claims to have a clear perspective, he can sure dismiss half of an entire country very easily (adding to the sensationalism and ignorance).

And I know he doesnt care, nor would I care to convince anybody of anything (God forbid). Its funny to be dismissive. It really is.

PS Dick Cheney is a crazy mamma jamma

Rant over.
What a pointless and irrelevant rant. But I have to applaud you in admitting that it was and going through it anyway. Although you suffer from your own accusations or at least I think you do. You say he's generalizing republicans, right? Well, you're generalizing people like him and the media as a whole. That altogether isn't a great way of doing it but whatever.

It's weird that one little side joke is growing into something serious. Well, whatever.

I hope the rest of the review you had fun with.
 

z121231211

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If you're going to bash JRPGs then find something new about them to bash about instead of things we already know. I hope you're reviews don't start having a second opening where you repeat why you absolutely hate JRPGs.
 

TerranReaper

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Good review, although I must say, Valkyria Chronicles isn't that bad of a game. But then again, a review is mainly someone else's opinions. Also, why did Yahtzee not make fun of one of the character's boobs? Or did he not get that far?
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Autocracy said:
You seem like a reasonable chap, you really do, but you reasoning is flawed as is your comparisons. Honestly, I hate the line of thinking and how common sense is abandoned by amateur fans of the genre. Of course, I never was a fan of the way gamers liked to try and classify things. What is Valkyria Chronicles. It's a turn-based Role Playing game that is from Japan, therefore it is a Japanese Role Playing Game. AKA a JRPG. It is very much relevant and I don't know why it wouldn't be ... As I sit here and think about it, I wince at the term "Japanese Role Playing Game". It seems a little, well, racist. I don't know. Maybe that's just me.
What are you talking about? Amateur fans of the genre? "JRPG" is just a phrase used to describe the type of Final Fantasy-style console role-playing games that typically emerge from Japan. It does not mean games-in-which-you-play-a-role-of-some-sort-which-are-made-in-Japan. "TRPG" is a term used to describe grid-based strategy games where you're presented with a map and a bunch of friendly & enemy units and each side takes turns to attack & defend. The gameplay in each couldn't be more different. Valkyria Chronicles is not a JRPG.
 

OuroborosChoked

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Is it even worth mentioning anymore when Yahtzee gets it wrong? I mean, does he even play the games he reviews anymore?

Yeah, there's no auto-save... but you can save between turns AND between moves. If there WAS auto-save, he'd be bitching that all his progress was over-written when he made a bad move.

Yeah, Welkin looks naiive, but he's competent, compassionate, and friendly... and not the least androgynous. Alicia isn't angry. Isara doesn't crave Welkin cock, either; they're just brother and sister. Were we even playing the same game?

Yeah, your opponents can shoot at you during your moving phase... and you can do the same to them. What's the point of even mentioning this? It's not part of the game that's broken in any way. It's entirely fair... though unrealistic. But since when has Yahtzee called for realism in games? This is a extremely hypocritical, Yahtzee...

I'm pretty sure you CAN skip cutscenes, but I'm not exactly sure, as I actually gave a damn about the story... I didn't just write it off. Oh, and you don't have to go back to the menu after EVERY cutscene: many of them link together. And, once you finish the game, you can replay all of the battles as much as you want.

All of this gives me the impression that Yahtzee didn't even finish the fucking game... again. It was probably too hard for him... like Bionic Commando was. There is no other game reviewer out there gets as much attention and as little gaming talent as Yahtzee and no other reviewer that I've seen bases his entire reviews off of his prejudices. This is just sloppy and unentertaining.

Oh, and you can also crouch in trenches... not just behind sandbags. Yeah, he didn't get very far.
 

CuddlyCombine

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Tharticus said:
Another amusing episode. This was a jRPG, I wonder why Mr. Croshaw wants to review one?
I think the Escapist assigns him games to review. Or maybe he's being conscious in reviewing varied material.
 

gamegod25

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I don't mind doing micro management if it's streamlined and intuitive, but I might still give it a rent if/when I get a PS3.
 

Ukhata

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hell ye
do xcom review
either the first or apocalypse

and good review once more :D
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Didn't like that, he just rants about the stupidest things, annoying menu selection? Good thing it's a FUCKING book, how do you want it to be built? Asking if you want to start a chapter? Well, fuck that now I can't buy the game. Bizzare choices in gameplay? Well, I guess the million rants about the same gameplay used repeatedly aren't valid anymore. Micromanagement between missions? It's a fucking strategy game!

Not to mention the review is like a year to late.

I thought I'll get a praising of a game that has unique gameplay and for once isn't numbered but apperantly it being jRPG (which not that correct) make it suck automatically, not to mention the ages are kinda correct in military standarts and he never highlight the tropes with other genres.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Kikosemmek said:
Funny, as always, but it's been a while since ZP reviewed a game that actually mattered (with the exception of RE5). I mean this, HAWX, Riddick, Siren, 50 Cent... these are nothing-games that weren't going anywhere to begin with.
Fuck you. Valkyria Chronicles remains brilliant.

ninjajoeman said:
viscountesslafiel said:
odisious15 said:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
You're incredibly stupid if you think Yatzees opinion means much, especially when he reviews a genre he hates.
Well if you think about it if he doesn't seem to find that much wrong with it then the game must be godly good.
Saints Row 2. Check and Mate.

It doesn't take that much brains to figure out who works best with who, or to figure out your core team mates. But I guess a lifetime of FPS's would leave one without the ability to keep track of characterisation beyond the depth of a spoon.

And Valkyria Chronicles remains the only game in any form to have humanised the enemy soldiers.
 

kboman

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Mar 13, 2008
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Whoa, really frothing at the mouth this week! Good review, very funny with some solid visual gags (loved the out of control spreadsheet one).
 

Obeliskos

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Oh Yahtzee. If the infinite power of Christ is going to make you play a JRPG, can the infinite power of Christ at least make you play a good JRPG, like Persona 4?

The first and probably last JRPG review by ZP and it's THIS. /cheesewithyourwhine
 

HotTubTony

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oh yeah i know its totally pointless. who can know whats really right anyways? i get impulsive with my forum-behavior sometimes
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Obeliskos said:
Oh Yahtzee. If the infinite power of Christ is going to make you play a JRPG, can the infinite power of Christ at least make you play a good JRPG, like Persona 4?
This is currently the best JRPG of the current console generation, with some serious debate over removing the J.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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The only thing you can really take away from this without having to hose away the bullshit is that he should review Disgaea 3.
 

Glerken

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Hm.
I liked it.
But it feels like something in the past few Zero Punctuations has been missing.

I'm not quite sure why that is... I guess I've just gotten too used to Yahtzee's style of humor.
 

Snipingkid

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Wow, he actually reviewed a game I played and beat!
I liked how everyone had his or her own personality. Most of his complaints here seem to be from nitpicking too much. I do agree that the game needs autosave though. Not during the missions though, but the save button needs to be more obvious (it's hidden in the options menu).
 

MasterTroll

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Autocracy said:
Who are you trying to convince? Who? Why? Honestly, the effort isn't worth it. Especially if you don't understand a key element. Taste. It's a matter of taste. What do you like? You like Valkyria Chronicles? Good. Keep liking it. Yahtzee doesn't. Move on.

You'll find that people have different tastes. Some people like chocolate, some people like Vanilla. Some people like Halo, some people like Half-Life. You can't just tell them they are wrong because you liked/hated the thing. They have every right to like whatever they want.
The problem here isn't taste, it is that Yahtzee outright exagerates the bad aspects of games to the point it sounds like he barely played the game at all. While it does enhance comedic effect and rage, and I am always amused by it, he is still not really the best person to use as a barometer for game quality. What people are complaining about is those who after seeing a Yahtzee review decide that it is the end all be all of opinions. People might miss out on a game they like because they take these reviews as srs bsns which they are most certainly not.
 

smokeraven

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Aug 22, 2008
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I love this game and this review was pure gold, the only real issue I have with it is that he said there wasn't an Autosave feature, there was, it doesn't help that it's a pain in the ass to find, but there is a mid-battle save system