Zero Punctuation: Wolfenstein: The Old Blood

Evonisia

Your sinner, in secret
Jun 24, 2013
3,257
0
0
I think I'll still take The Old Blood's final boss fight over The New Order's, as it's less awful and you can actually see what you're doing.

Old Blood just seems to be trying to fix minor niggles with The New Order like reducing the amount of bullshit shotgun enemies. Otherwise I'd say I agree with this review, though I actually quite liked the Zombies part as I'm not sick of them yet.
 

ZZoMBiE13

Ate My Neighbors
Oct 10, 2007
1,908
0
0
I never finished New Order, so I wasn't particularly wanting "more please". But this was a funny video so I guess it all worked out?

"ACH, mien German sausage" was a great ending line btw. ;)
 

Bob_McMillan

Elite Member
May 11, 2020
3,836
638
118
Country
Philippines
Oh well, if this popped up next year for a Playstation Plus freebie I would probably still play it.
 

Krantos

New member
Jun 30, 2009
1,840
0
0
Holy shit, I haven't laughed that hard at a ZP in a long time. I think we need more adventures of Hanz and Gruber.
 

Darth Rosenberg

New member
Oct 25, 2011
1,288
0
0
Totalbiscuit was slightly kinder in his WTF, but both reviews videos-about-videogames paint it as a misstep which does little more than tarnish TNO's reputation, so I'll merrily ignore its existence. Adding vanilla Nazi's and Nazi zombies to an IP which had brilliant character narrative and dual-wielding laser fights on the moon? Doesn't really seem like an improvement in any shape or form.
 

FC Groningen

New member
Apr 1, 2009
224
0
0
I would like to make a request like that many people here. I know you're reading the comments Yahtzee, you magnificent narcistic bastard! I was wondering if you were willing to review Crusader Kings II.

Why?

- Crusader Kings II can be more hard and cruel to you than Minecraft and Dark Souls together.
- You seem to like history; the game has a few flaws but gives a fair description of noble life in the medieval times.
- The game is deep and takes quite some time to master. (the tutorial might be insufficient) You can achieve your goals by conquering your enemies, plotting against them, killing all of their family members including a decent sized elementary class of children, breed them out, or just betray them in whatever way you see fit.
- This is as "Free roam" you can get and each game you'll play will be completely different than the one you played before.
- There's incest, adultry, kinslaying, anti semitism, an anti christ, death by snu snu and many more surprises waiting for you.

So, if you're ever in the mood of being the dwarf, lisping viking king of the "Dogbollock dynasty", then this is your chance!

9/10 review btw...
 

MonsterCrit

New member
Feb 17, 2015
594
0
0
Skippy, Skippiy, Skippy the bush kangaroo
Skippy, Skippy, Skippy our friend ever true.

Damn it Yahtzee what pop culture time capsule did you unearth for that gem?
And for most of you who probably don't know SKippy was the the titular character in an Australian TV show of the same name.
Basically Skippy was the Australian Lassie and yes he was a kangaroo.... yes.. it sucks to be australian.

I was broadcast briefly over here...because we only had one TV station at the time and their programming was.. whatever was cheapest.
 

Josh123914

They'll fix it by "Monday"
Nov 17, 2009
2,048
0
0
Can I come in here to say that they new video player is atrocious?

With the old one, I could pause it and rewind the video with no problem, but now if I try to move a video forward, it says "Problem with video" and I am forced to reload.
 

FPLOON

Your #1 Source for the Dino Porn
Jul 10, 2013
12,531
0
0
What's that Skippy? "Shoot the massive block"? I thought I could do the same thing I do in Dark Souls and evade until I can shoot the next German bonefire! When I say "prepare to die", I'm not saying that to myself!

Other than that, I can't unsee that massive bloke without laughing... "It's not you; it's me" I would say to him before he punches me in the sausage...
 

Bindal

New member
May 14, 2012
1,320
0
0
Not too surprised about the whole thing - even if I still would call Yathzee out for saying "Undead Nazis are so done" when Wolfenstein basically invented them in (even if it took them until the third game) and for being YET ANOTHER person that thinks that "Wolfenstein 3D" is the first Wolfenstein. Hint: It's not.
And I am also pretty sure he would enjoy the first two Wolfenstein due being very stealth-focused. Probably the first Stealth-games in history.

MonsterCrit said:
Skippy, Skippiy, Skippy the bush kangaroo
Skippy, Skippy, Skippy our friend ever true.
Skippy, Skippy, Skippy now a dinner for two.
 

Sonicron

Do the buttwalk!
Mar 11, 2009
5,134
0
0
"Gehen Sie boss fight, shooten Sie massive bloke."

I haven't laughed this hard since the night when our role-play DM drew a Nurgle cult symbol that looked like a misshapen 3-way ballsack and our group leader swiftly declared our official mission would be to assassinate the infamous plague sorcerer, Balzac the Scrotumancer.
 

Kross

World Breaker
Sep 27, 2004
854
0
0
Josh123914 said:
Can I come in here to say that they new video player is atrocious?

With the old one, I could pause it and rewind the video with no problem, but now if I try to move a video forward, it says "Problem with video" and I am forced to reload.
Hi! Can you send us a description of your setup on the contact link here? http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/help

We know certain versions of Firefox have issues playing HTML5 video (which is what this player is, the web browser itself is handling the playback/codecs, our code only sets up the interface around the video). It should let you skip to wherever you want when working properly, and we've yet to see this particular issue. Sorry for the troubles. :(
 

Ihateregistering1

New member
Mar 30, 2011
2,034
0
0
Going totally off subject here, but being non-Australian I had to google "Skippy the Bush Kangaroo". Can you seriously train a Kangaroo to be a good pet?!

Hold on, I need to make some phone calls.
 

Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
Legacy
Apr 10, 2020
17,084
1,180
118
Country
Argentina
Now I wanna ask Yahtzee "What makes a good prequel?", since you always know how one ends, yet surely there're good prequels.
 

Transdude1996

New member
Mar 18, 2014
188
0
0
Johnny Novgorod said:
Now I wanna ask Yahtzee "What makes a good prequel?", since you always know how one ends, yet surely there're good prequels.
If I remember correctly, MoH: Underground was praised for how great the story was, so that's a possible starting point.
 

Darth_Payn

New member
Aug 5, 2009
2,868
0
0
I quite liked Return to Castle Wolfenstein, especially on XBOX when it had a shotgun (I know, I know, roll up! Roll up! Give us your dish and look at the freak!), because it felt like a swan song of its own, to the truly imaginative FPS's of yore. By the sounds of it, Old Blood messed up the delicate art of callbacks/call-forwards to things that happen in the main game by boldfaced copying what happened without any interesting twists.
 

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime

Lolita Style, The Best Style!
Jan 12, 2010
2,151
0
0
Well that was entertaining, and at least it convinced me not to buy the game, at least while it's new...

Now Yahtzee. Why do you have keep reminding us that you have a terrible faux German accent? Are you paranoid some how that we keep forgetting? Trust me we don't, we haven't, and we won't forget. I promise.