Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

[Absent]

A ★★½ review of Thunderball (1965)

That...could have been better. This film had mostly a smoother production again than the last three, with the only real struggle being finding the right person to play the main Bond girl, Domino Derval, with Julie Christie being turned down after a personal meeting with producer Albert Broccoli...

letterboxd.com

I'm quite fond of Thunderball, which stayed my favorite for a long time. I'm always biased towards seafaring or underwater adventures, so the underwater fight delighted me. It's very easy to follow : Bad guys have black masks, good guys have blue masks. So much that when james bond steals a baddie's mask it instantly turns blue. Really makes the sequence much easier to follow than the rest of the film where Bond's shirt changes color in each shot. Blunderball, as Hawki said. Not even Diamonds comes close, goofs-wise.

Another reason why I loved this movie was Bond's relative vulnerability in it. Not only his charms are mocked, but also we see him wounded and chased, which is quite rare. He has the upper hand more constantly in all the other movies.

Also, in my eyes, the best quote is not a quote. "Would you mind giving me something to put on?", Bond politely handing her shoes still makes me giggle. This works with Connery's casual seriousness way better than it would have with Moore's overt cheekiness.

Claudine Auger is so classy, somehow. Unforgettably charismatic in Jacques Deray's "Butterfly on the Shoulder". And hey, look, Felix is blond. And probably closer to the novel's in many ways, even though my brain still processes Jack Lord as the official one.

And seriously. That intro. I love fights in Bond movies, they often have that jackiechanesque quality of using all the furniture like pieces on a chessboard. They feel like a battle of wits. And the elevator fight in Diamond is a wonderful example of it (Diamonds Are Forever - Thunderball's true rival, competing on the same territories). But nothing beats Bond escaping with that conveniently placed jetpack after having cautiously put his little blue helmet on because hey he doesn't joke with safety.

Damn, I realise now we've glossed over Goldfinger's intro. So much to say about these pre-title sequences...

 

[thebobmaster]

I'm quite fond of Thunderball, which stayed my favorite for a long time. I'm always biased towards seafaring or underwater adventures, so the underwater fight delighted me. It's very easy to follow : Bad guys have black masks, good guys have blue masks. So much that when james bond steals a baddie's mask it instantly turns blue. Really makes the sequence much easier to follow than the rest of the film where Bond's shirt changes color in each shot. Blunderball, as Hawki said. Not even Diamonds comes close, goofs-wise.

Another reason why I loved this movie was Bond's relative vulnerability in it. Not only his charms are mocked, but also we see him wounded and chased, which is quite rare. He has the upper hand more constantly in all the other movies.

Also, in my eyes, the best quote is not a quote. "Would you mind giving me something to put on?", Bond politely handing her shoes still makes me giggle. This works with Connery's casual seriousness way better than it would have with Moore's overt cheekiness.

Claudine Auger is so classy, somehow. Unforgettably charismatic in Jacques Deray's "Butterfly on the Shoulder". And hey, look, Felix is blond. And probably closer to the novel's in many ways, even though my brain still processes Jack Lord as the official one.

And seriously. That intro. I love fights in Bond movies, they often have that jackiechanesque quality of using all the furniture like pieces on a chessboard. They feel like a battle of wits. And the elevator fight in Diamond is a wonderful example of it (Diamonds Are Forever - Thunderball's true rival, competing on the same territories). But nothing beats Bond escaping with that conveniently placed jetpack after having cautiously put his little blue helmet on because hey he doesn't joke with safety.

Damn, I realise now we've glossed over Goldfinger's intro. So much to say about these pre-title sequences...

Funny story about the jetpack. The reason he takes the time to put on the helmet is because the person flying the jetpack refused to do so without the helmet. And given that he was literally one of two people in the world certified to fly the jetpack, they listened. And yes, that "something to put on" part was pretty funny.

 

[BrawlMan]

@CriticalGaming, I recommend you look at some of Scott Adkins films. He studied under Van Damme. His early stuff is a little rough in the acting department. Adkins is not bad, but his early stuff is really serious. His later films have him with better range in his acting and having fun with the role.

​

 

[CriticalGaming]

@CriticalGaming, I recommend you look at some of Scott Adkins films. He studied under Van Damme. His early stuff is a little rough in the acting department. Adkins is not bad, but his early stuff is really serious. His later films have him with better range in his acting and having fun with the role.

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YO Hard Target 2!? WTF!

I remember there was a string of VanDamme movies that would get sequels but without Vandamme and they always made me lol. Fucking Kickboxer got like 7 films or something dumb too.

 

[BrawlMan]

YO Hard Target 2!? WTF!

Came out in 2016. While HT2 is not perfect, it's one of the better sequels to a Van Damme movie without Van Damme.

Fucking Kickboxer got like 7 films or something dumb too.

Nearly all of the Kickboxer sequels from the 90s are awful. The one with Mark Dacasacos (Kickboxer 5) is decent, but he's done better movies before and after. The reboot continuity is actually good, and Van Damme takes on a more mentor role in both movies.

 

[CriticalGaming]

Came out in 2016. While HT2 is not perfect, it's one of the better sequels to a Van Damme movie without Van Damme.

The best stuff is when VanDamme randomly returns for a sequel, like Universal Solder 4 and shit lol.

Which reminds me. Michael Jai White is a badass.

 

[Gordon_4]

Michael Jai White is a badass.

That man should have been Green Lantern.

 

[BrawlMan]

Which reminds me. Michael Jai White is a badass.

Speaking of which....

MJW plays a villain in Triple Theat, along with Scott Adkins. This is the best Expendables movie ever made!

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[Thaluikhain]

Deep Rising, 1998

By the guy who did The Mummy, and co-staring the guy who co-stars in seemingly all the films done by the guy who did The Mummy, this is an alright film but not as good as The Mummy. Doesn't have the same mix of action comedy and horror, though in retrospect getting everything to work like in The Mummy, The Mummy Returns or even Van Helsing is not easy.

 

[Absent]

Deep Rising, 1998

By the guy who did The Mummy, and co-staring the guy who co-stars in seemingly all the films done by the guy who did The Mummy, this is an alright film but not as good as The Mummy. Doesn't have the same mix of action comedy and horror, though in retrospect getting everything to work like in The Mummy, The Mummy Returns or even Van Helsing is not easy.

Hey, I love Deep Rising, and I like it actually better than The Mummy. Of course I'm always a tad biased (it takes place on a ship, it features a sea monster, all my sweet spots), not to mention Famke Jannsen's stellar presence. And a fondness for simple cheesy monster movies. But stuff like The Mummy are big machineries, stuff like Deep Rising are unassuming simple thrills, I like the latter (T2 vs original Terminator movie would be an almost functioning analogy). And I saw in Deep Rising an excellent mix of adventure, horror and comedy. That ending was lovely (thankfully they didn't ruin it with a sequel, like Fright Night's weird lights it works as a joke not a sequel tease).

So yes, I'll defend Deep Rising. You'll see me on that hill.

 

[XsjadoBlaydette]

The Endless, & Something in the Dirt
I feel like I was tricked with these films. They had intriguing descriptions, appeared to have above average reviews, and claimed to have a smattering of vague awards. But as soon as actual humans are on screen talking to each other, everything settles into amateur hour with poor, dull lighting,, awful echoing sound design, actors with astounding anti-charisma saying the least interesting words in the most boring way they can. Some shots not involving humans can look ok, but I couldn't finish either of these Trojan turds. And I was foolish for thinking otherwise.

 

[Xprimentyl]

The Ritual Killer:

A South African witch doctor travels internationally killing people for witch doctor-y reasons, and white guy cop #376 has to stop him with the help of Morgan Freeman.

Terrible movie. Not only does it do on-the-rails crime drama stuff badly, the poor execution itself was done badly; they did the bad badly. Everything sucked. Even Morgan Freeman managed to somehow get sucked into the suck, and he's sometimes the sole redemptive quality in films he's featured in. This was a dollar store crime drama. How the hell they managed to pull down Morgan Freeman is beyond me; I think he might have been eating lunch at a café across the street from the studio, and they tricked him into the film like some "Bowfinger"-esque deal. To give perspective as to how little effort went into this movie (which I'd be shocked to learn took more than 10 minutes to write, cast, AND film) retired San Francisco 49ers Tight End Vernon Davis makes his acting debut as the antagonist! As a die hard 49ers fan, I thought he looked familiar, but didn't connect the dots immediately because, as great a football player as he was, an actor he is NOT.

Are C-movies a thing? Because calling this a B-movie is an insult to B-movies. This was a made-for-TV film; it needed commercials. I think the Amazon Prime rental fee might negatively affect my credit score because anyone this reckless with their money needs some harsh federal scrutiny. Not recommended, even for those rubber-neckers who like to watch films that are "so bad, it's good;" this is "so bad, it's WORSE." It clocks in at 92 minutes, a number I don't think was intended; I think someone finally said "ok, stop this," and everyone just packed up and left.

 

[Ag3ma]

@CriticalGaming, I recommend you look at some of Scott Adkins films. He studied under Van Damme. His early stuff is a little rough in the acting department. Adkins is not bad, but his early stuff is really serious. His later films have him with better range in his acting and having fun with the role.

He's definitely in the "action movie" quality acting league.

I think he comes across as very affable and quite light-hearted as a human being, and perhaps letting him get on and do that with his character puts him to best effect.

 

[BrawlMan]

Deep Rising, 1998

By the guy who did The Mummy, and co-staring the guy who co-stars in seemingly all the films done by the guy who did The Mummy, this is an alright film but not as good as The Mummy. Doesn't have the same mix of action comedy and horror, though in retrospect getting everything to work like in The Mummy, The Mummy Returns or even Van Helsing is not easy.

Deep Rising I prefer over Van Helsing, but I like both. Stephen Summer is king when it comes to the pulpy stuff.

 

[Ag3ma]

Deep Rising I prefer over Van Helsing, but I like both. Stephen Summer is king when it comes to the pulpy stuff.

Deep Rising is not a good movie, but it is a perfectly good B-movie. There's a massive host of B-movies out there with no meaningful quality whatsoever and no reason to watch them (I should know, because I have watched quite a lot of them). Deep Rising, in relative terms, is a big cut above the average on most levels. Van Helsing was a higher quality film all in all, I think, although just because a film is technically better in numerous ways doesn't mean anyone has to like it more.

 

[BrawlMan]

Deep Rising is not a good movie, but it is a perfectly good B-movie

It's a good movie to me either way. The worst anyone can say about it is a lot of the blue-screen/CG effects don't hold up well or you can tell when it's about to happen, because of HD screens. Though there are some good practical gore effects.

There's a massive host of B-movies out there with no meaningful quality whatsoever and no reason to watch them (I should know, because I have watched quite a lot of them).

It depends on the type of B-movie. I have no major love for all of them either, but I do have a strong preference for Action B-Movies from the late 80s and most of the 90s.

Deep Rising, in relative terms, is a big cut above the average on most levels.

YES!

Van Helsing was a higher quality film all in all, I think, although just because a film is technically better in numerous ways doesn't mean anyone has to like it more.

True. Ironically, some of VH's issues are that some of the CGI aged worse than DR. Though even without the comparison, some the special effects holds up, while most others do not. Well that, and I have the Castlevania TV series.

 

[Hawki]

Cinderella (5/10)

Cinderella, thy name is Blandness.

Yeah, that really sums up my thoughts on this film (the Disney version, original cartoon). It really doesn't help that there's at least one very solid film adaptation of Cinderella out there (Ever After), but even taking this as its own thing? Bleh.

Basically, the issues boil down to:

-Far too much time is spent on mouse characters and slapstick. It's not particuarly entertaining slapstick, and it's time taken away from the protagonist.

-Said protagonist barely has a personality at all.

-Lady Tremain is okay as a villain, in that it does show her complete control, manipulative nature, and whatnot, but that's not enough to make a truly great villain.

-The prince, whose name is...well, never specified, is a cipher. He barely has a few lines in the film. He sees Cinderella, they dance until midnight, she runs off and he exclams "wait, I don't even know your name!" Wow. So you danced with your mystery girl and not once did you ever ask her her name. True wuv, I tells ya!

-The king tries to kill his advisor in the context of jumping up and down on the bed (it makes sense in context), who sends him out to find the mystery girl (apparently the prince can't find her despite being the person to see her face).

-Advisor arrives with glass slipper, Cinderella is locked up, escapes at last moment, first slipper is smashed, but Cinderella has the other slipper, it fits, she marries, happily ever after or something.

Yeah, I know, there's just not anything worth discussing here. It's blandness served with a topping of blandness, with bland desert as well.

Anyway, rankings down below, or something:

Spoiler

34) The Black Cauldron
33) Dinosaur
32) Dumbo
31) Cinderella
30) Robin Hood
29) Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
28) Oliver & Company
27) The Sword in the Stone
26) The Little Mermaid
25) Pocahontas
24) Peter Pan
23) Bambi
22) Basil, the Great Mouse Detective
21) The Aristocats
20) Frozen II
19) Bolt
18) Tarzan
17) Wreck-it Ralph: Ralph Breaks the Internet
16) Fantasia 2000
15) 101 Dalmations
14) The Jungle Book
13) Alice in Wonderland
12) Hercules
11) The Emperor’s New Groove
10) The Hunchback of Notre Dame
9) Fantasia
8) Moana
7) Big Hero 6
6) Beauty and the Beast
5) Treasure Planet
4) Frozen
3) Aladdin
2) The Lion King
1) Zootopia

 

[Thaluikhain]

Of course I'm always a tad biased (it takes place on a ship, it features a sea monster, all my sweet spots),

*looks at avatar* I see a ship, so that makes sense, but there's an absence of sea monsters and *looks at username* oh, I get it.

 

[Gordon_4]

Dungeons and Dragons: Honour among Thieves - 9/10

A very solid ensemble piece with the right actors in the right roles (pun intended) that moves at a breezy pace and doesn’t over complicate matters by dwelling on (much of) the lore. I think my only complaint is I wasn’t a fan of the effect they chose for the halflings but given how well everything else was put together it might just have been the most effective measure they could do.

Now as Vox Machina and any amount of anecdotes from players and DMs alike will tell you, DnD lives and dies on its player characters and thankfully everyone in ‘the party’ is a fucking delight and fans of all stripes will find at least one of them to latch on to. I recommend the movie heartily.

 

[Drathnoxis]

Mummies. This is the first film I've seen in theaters in about 5 years and I wish the experience had been postponed indefinitely. I have to say the sound was way too loud in the theater, it made me feel like I should have brought my earplugs from work. Beyond that the movie was terrible in every way. I don't think a single thing in it made any sense at all. So apparently immortal Egyptian mummies have been living in their own world for 1000s of years and all of a sudden the pharaoh's daughter needs to get married so she can succeed to the throne. One, she acts like she's 16 despite being over 2000 years old. Two, what succession? They are immortal, so why does she need to succeed her father? Three she apparently doesn't care at all about her people's culture and traditions despite supposedly having lived with them for 2000 years. It really doesn't make sense at all. And now a bunch of other random complaints because I don't feel like framing this all properly:

-Why do bright lights make black and white paint appear on their faces? It was supposed to "show them for what they truly are," shouldn't it make them look all desiccated?
-The villain archaeologist acts like a grave robber and makes no sense. He makes the discovery of a lifetime and yet is completely obsessed in kidnapping a live mummy to put on public display in his British museum. How does he envision this working at all and not end with him facing charges? He also causes massive destruction to priceless artifacts like its no big deal.
-Walk Like An Egyptian is played not once but twice, because of course it was.
-In Ancient Egypt they spoke perfect British English complete with accent and have no trouble communicating in the modern world.
-There are no stakes. The heroes easily accomplish every task which should be completely impossible. Like breaking the princess out of the museum, which is only possible because there are no locks on displays made of easily shatterable glass, the chains are made of plastic, and there are only 2 imbecilic guards. They can also stow away on an airplane like it's no big deal.
-The mummy child can instantly drive a double decker bus at high speeds without crashing or rolling it.
-Explain to me how you can jump a chariot over an obstacle without a ramp.
-Don't mummies already have their tongue, eyes, brain, and other internal organs removed when they are made into mummies?

This movie was awful.