Okay, I'm only a little over 40 minutes into Rebel Moon, but I have to get these thoughts out of my head before I keep watching.
It's a colossal piece of shit, I love it!
This was the first Zack Snyder movie I've ever genuinely been excited to watch. The misses vastly outnumber the hits in his filmography, but the trailer for this legit looked so bad I was just extatic. And so far those expectations have well been met, and judging by the reception so will the rest of the movie. It's perhaps the most cliché-ridden, blatant ripoff movie of the entire decade so far: It's Star Wars, and a bit of Dune, and a bit of Warhammer 40k, and a bit of Seven Samurai. The dialogue is so fucking bad that I've been laughing for pretty much the entire runtime so far. The beyond clunky exposition is especially hilarious. The world presented makes zero sense and constantly raises questions, like why would you use a giant mallet to ring the alarm bell, when a normal hammer would do the same perfectly fine. The blandness of every character almost goes full circle and becomes hilarious because there's so little creativity or inspiration in anything. So far this is possibly Snyder's ugliest movie yet. I'm not yet sure if 300 or this will take the grand prize because 300 was so much more stylized, but this still looks like absolute flaming dogshit. Like what the fuck is going on with the depth of field here? Everything looks super stagey and fake, the editing is a mess, and there's of course the requisite completely gratuitous slo-mo.
I'm almost tempted to say that even for Snyder this is a new level of bad, but then I remember that this is what always comes of his original scripts. I guess it just feels different this time because this is trying to be a huge, sprawling epic as opposed to something like Sucker Punch or Army of the Dead which are much more self-contained. But this is seriously something I'd have cringed at even at 12 years old. This makes me feel less bad for the fantasy novel I was writing at that age, because at least I wasn't this blatant at ripping off movies I'd seen.
Edit: fuck it, called it quits when I had an hour left. I'm gonna watch the rest of it, but I can only take so much cringe without the involvement of friends and/or alcohol. Throw in Harry Potter and Blade Runner into the pile of things this just rips off with zero regard for theme, cohesion or common sense. It is literally the "We have [X] at home" meme in movie form. I am truly floored. If this won't be the worst film I'll see all year, I'll be astounded.
