Helpful last minute tips for a safe eclipse viewing

[CaitSeith]

With the eclipse happening today, I want to give some helpful last minutes tips for a safe eclipse viewing experience:

• Don't stare directly to the eclipse. Also don't look at it using mirrors, reflective surfaces or analog cameras; they don't work as filters.
• Be aware of your surroundings during the twilight phase; it will get pretty dark and car drivers may not bother to turn on their beams.
• Animals may behave strangely. If your dog speaks like a man, heed it's dire warning.
• The people of Tennessee may have the best view, but will also be the first to be sacrificed.
• Don't trust the squirrel with the child's face. It speaks only lies.
• When your double arrives, resists the inclination to fight it. It may be stronger than you. Chances are it will disappear after the eclipse. Be careful it doesn't switch places, it will be a few decades before you get the chance to come back.
• If you stare into the void, and it blinks first, you win. But the prize is insanity.
• Werewolves are not only impossible to kill during an eclipse, they become SUPER WEREWOLVES.
• Whatever you do don't buy any weird plants, we don't want a repeat of last time.
• Apophis, the Moon Serpent, may try to eat you. Let him.
• If once upon a time you were falling in love, but now your only falling apart, there's nothing you can do. This is a different type of eclipse.

 

[Xprimentyl]

With the eclipse happening today, I want to give some helpful last minutes tips for a safe eclipse viewing experience:

• Don't stare directly to the eclipse. Also don't look at it using mirrors, reflective surfaces or analog cameras; they don't work as filters.
• Be aware of your surroundings during the twilight phase; it will get pretty dark and car drivers may not bother to turn on their beams.
• Animals may behave strangely. If your dog speaks like a man, heed it's dire warning.
• The people of Tennessee may have the best view, but will also be the first to be sacrificed.
• Don't trust the squirrel with the child's face. It speaks only lies.
• When your double arrives, resists the inclination to fight it. It may be stronger than you. Chances are it will disappear after the eclipse. Be careful it doesn't switch places, it will be a few decades before you get the chance to come back.
• If you stare into the void, and it blinks first, you win. But the prize is insanity.
• Werewolves are not only impossible to kill during an eclipse, they become SUPER WEREWOLVES.
• Whatever you do don't buy any weird plants, we don't want a repeat of last time.
• Apophis, the Moon Serpent, may try to eat you. Let him.
• If once upon a time you were falling in love, but now your only falling apart, there's nothing you can do. This is a different type of eclipse.

Gotta say, you make this whole ordeal sound a lot more interesting than it likely will be. SUPER werewolves?? Yes, please!

 

[Summerstorm]

Ah, quite a few good tips.

But a question: What happens if "They" switch out the sun in the time we can't see it clearly? Will the new Sun be comparable to the old, or be build on the cheap? Any higher percentage of mind-altering rays for public control or any new tricks? (Weakening male fluids etc. etc.?)

Also: Man, next full eclipse here in Germany: Year 2081. I want to have two minutes of darker day NOW.

 

[Drathnoxis]

Ah, quite a few good tips.

But a question: What happens if "They" switch out the sun in the time we can't see it clearly? Will the new Sun be comparable to the old, or be build on the cheap? Any higher percentage of mind-altering rays for public control or any new tricks? (Weakening male fluids etc. etc.?)

Also: Man, next full eclipse here in Germany: Year 2081. I want to have two minutes of darker day NOW.

Come on, of course it will be cheaper. It will be designed with planned obsolescence and we'll have to get a new sun every 10 years.