Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

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thebobmaster

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thebobmaster

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Xprimentyl

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Fist Fight: Really Funny / Great

It's the last day of school before summer break, and the senior class goes balls to the wall with pranks on the staff. Andy Campbell (Charlie Day) is the English teacher and a pushover who passively endures the torment, Ron Strickland (Ice Cube) is the no-nonsense history teacher who looks to be more at home in a prison yard than a classroom. One last prank involving both Campbell and Strickland sends the latter over the edge, he and smashes a student's desk with an axe, and both teachers land in the principle's office. Under threat of one of them losing their job, Campbell rats our Strickland who subsequently is fired. Obviously, Strickland is... upset, and challenges Campbell to a fight after school. Campbell pulls out all the stops in a frantic attempt to avoid or diffuse the inevitable.

This was very funny, way better than I expected it to be. Ice Cube is the perfect menace, and the lengths Day goes to to avoid an ass whooping are hilarious. Also an unexpected delight was Jillian Bell who plays Holly, the school counselor who is constantly making inappropriate comments about her desire to sleep with some of her students. It was a lot of fun. Recommended!

 

Johnny Novgorod

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The Next Karate Kid

Here's a hot take: it's not very good.

It's a little bit like watching a hypothetical Back to the Future IV where Marty is gone and Doc shops around for another youngun to try replicate their double act.

The premise here is that Miyagi is visiting his old war buddy's widow when he catches her granddaughter being uppity. And that settles it: Miyagi gets rid of the old bag and moves into her house so he can teach the ungrateful little ***** some manners.

The whole setup is so artificial, it basically transforms Miyagi into a kind of Mary Poppins that magically shows up where he is desperately needed. Compare that to him being just some maintenance man at an apartment complex in LA and how much more naturally the relationship between him and Daniel developed. Miyagi was enigmatic, bordering on mystical, but the character was so rooted in the specificity of a place and a job, and his backstory a mystery, you kinda believed it.

What's the deal with the Hilary Swank character? She sneaks out and breaks into her school every other night because she's nursing a bird with a broken wing on the terrace. Why not just take the bird home or to a vet? No time for sensible questions. Colonel Michael Ironside and his squad of assholes (is that Walton Goggins!?) run security like it's Fort Knox. It's kinda weird having the group of male bullies pick on a girl so the movie's solution is to make it their job, essentially. When she starts seeing someone it's almost a relief: ok, we'll pick on the guy and make it her problem by proxy.

Miyagi takes The Swank to a neighboring Japanese monastery that might as well be in Tibet where she learns about dodging sandbags (if you can dodge a sandbag, you can do anything you set your mind to) and he catches arrows shot at him single-handed (if you can catch an arrow flying towards you single-handed, you're done leveling). They make buddies with the monks, who later go bowling, and they can psychically guide guttered balls into a strike, which is where I as the fierce competition would give up.

The movie isn't building towards a tournament or any one fight, so the whole karate angle feels especially token. Come think of it the bad guys aren't even aware that Hilaria knows karate until the last 5 minutes of the movie, when she tags out her bf as he's getting his ass kicked by... it IS Walton Goggins!

Would Ralph Macchiato have improved the movie? Not really. But he would've rocked that prom dress.
 

thebobmaster

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Bartholen

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Nashville (1975), 2/10

What the everloving shit was that?

I barely know how to describe this film. I guess you could technically call it an ensemble cast slice of life film centered around an upcoming political convention, and the lives of multiple people in the Nashville music scene: you've got singers, musicians, producers, a journalist, and their partners. This may sound like it might be a Pulp Fiction -style web of interconnecting threads, but trust me, it's not. There's no hook here. It's one of the most aggressively pointless and meandering viewing experiences I've ever suffered through. There's basically zero plot, story or goal the film is progressing towards. You could arrange the vast majority of the scenes into literally any order, and it wouldn't make a lick of difference. You could remove like half the cast to no effect, because there is no narrative for them to influence in the first place. Scenes don't build on or lead into one another, things just happen randomly. There are no character arcs or developments. There is no flow to the editing or the film's structure, it just cuts into something different when it seems to get bored.

There are also extensive music scenes of country singers performing, and they serve about as much function as if you inserted some music videos into the movie. I'd criticize them of not moving the plot forward, but there isn't one to begin with. Occasionally you have more intense scenes centering around things like infidelity or marriage troubles, but they don't mark the beginning or turning point of anything, they're just there to... I don't even know why. Most of the dialogue is completely meaningless, consisting of people I don't care about talking about things I definitely don't care about. Then it salts the wound by having a ton of the dialogue overlap with background dialogue, or there being something blaring in the background, and I found the film genuinely physically difficult to sit through in those scenes.

It's a very well made film. There's tons of production value on display, lots of scenes with huge crowds, and the music scenes are excellently presented. The acting's pretty good too I guess. But it's all in service of absolutely nothing. Usually if a movie has no plot and is more of a slice of life (like My Neighbor Totoro), or more focused on atmosphere (like Hard to Be a God), there's something unique about it to make up for the lack of plot. Whether it be Totoro's sense of childhood wonder, or Hard to be a God's unique visuals and experimental vision. Nashville has jack shit. It's like a random scene compilation of a long tv show.

2,5 hours of my life I'll never get back. Avoid this like the fucking plague.
 
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thebobmaster

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Old_Hunter_77

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Piano Lessons

After the success of Fences, Denzel Washington adapts another August Wilson play into a movie, but this time behind the scenes with this sons acting and directing. So if you like Fences you'll like this. Prestige period piece drama dealing with race, family, and using a bit of the supernatural to tell an emotionally heightened story.
The best and worst thing about that movie is that its play source material is strongly evident because you're basically just watching a play, with the occasional contemporary music drop or filmic edit or effect to remind you it's a movie. Acting of course is great in the traditional LOOK AT ME I'M ACTING sense, especially the one woman character who had to carry most of the thematic/emotional burden of the central theme especially with a climactic ending that will either be resonant or corny depending on how invested you are by that point.
 

PsychedelicDiamond

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Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair

Tarantino's fourth movie, originally released as a two parter against Tarantino's own wishes. This is technically not the official "Whole Bloody Affair" cut that hasn't been publicly released and that Tarantino only shows at private screenings, which, you might be surprised to learn, I haven't yet been invited to. No, this is an official reconstruction made by fans, although what it technically constitutes are both halves back to back, an action scene that was originally edited to be in black and white for being "too graphic" being restored to colour and a minor scene being edited out that was part of a cliffhanger at the end of the first volume but spoils a pivotal plot point in the second movie.

Young Uma Thurman is still peak mommy. And, like, the rest wasn't too bad either.

Jokes aside, Kill Bill, in this version, probably still stands as Tarantino's most ambitious project. A four hour revenge opera that moves from location to location as casually as it moves from genre to genre.

Uma Thurman plays a former elite assassin who is attacked and almost killed by her vengeful former team, lead by eponymous Bill (David Carradine) on the day of her wedding. After waking from a coma, she resolves to hunt them down one by one. A journey that doesn't just take her to Japan and back but also back and forth between the genre conventions of exploitation films, martial arts movies, anime, yakuza movies, spaghetti westerns, wuxia and family drama. In short, Kill Bill is a love letter to about 50 years worth of violent genre cinema from all around the world.

All of which, you'd think, would render it little more than a postmodernist curiosity that should only appeal to movie geeks but once again Tarantino's talent as a writer and action director made it a wide success. Watching it in one piece, though, highlights some rather curious tendencies. That is, if you watch Kill Bill as one movie it's one that starts off very fast and from the halfway point onward slows down considerably. Where the climax of the first half is probably the most elaborate and longest action sequence Tarantino ever shot, real Hongkong shit, the climax of the latter half is mostly a long conversation. It's the kind of decision you usually just don't see in mainstream action movies

It shows Tarantino's tremendous confidence in his own character writing and I guess exactly that is what carries Kill Bill even once the pace slows down and the action becomes more scarce. Almost every character is some sort of genre archetype but also every single character has stuff going on beyond what's there at face value. O-Ren Ishii has an entire animated sequence dedicated to her backstory, Budd has this entire little intro of him struggling with his job as a bouncer, Vernita seems like a stock blaxploitation homage but she's also someone who has managed to do exactly what the protagonist wanted to do, retire from the life and settle down with a family.

There is something to be said about that... it wasn't originally Tarantino's intention for Kill Bill to be split into two parts but while that is regrettable, at the very least it wasn't cut down into a single 2 hour movie. There are so many digressive little bits in there that, had the movie been subject to a Justice League style butchering, would have landed on the cutting room floor and everything that makes it work along with it. It works not because it it's a pitch perfect tribute to violent low budget cinema, it works because it takes the trappings of that violent low budget cinema and fleshes it in terms of scale and character depth that it reaches a certain grandeur.

Bill's famous monologue about Superman is such a great example for it. On one hand, it's obviously not what anyone who's really into Superman would read into his characterization but it's exactly what someone like Bill, behind his smooth exterior a narcissistic, self centered cult leader type, would take away from it. The writing gets so much across about these people in such an efficient way.

When I wrote about Once Upon a Time In Hollywood I wrote that it's more or less a movie about what an older, more relaxed Tarantino likes. Old movie stars, 70's music, Hollywood's golden age, Margot Robbie's feet... a movie about hanging out with a bunch of interesting personalities in a bygone age. Kill Bill is a movie about everything young Tarantino found cool, kung fu and anime, westerns and gangsters and assassins and Uma Thurman's feet. Me, personally, I wouldn't mind him making another action movie. He has talked about being interested in directing a third Kill Bill installment, in fact. I like his newer, more relaxed, dialogue heavy stuff a lot but it would be cool to get something like this again before he retires.
 

Xprimentyl

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Heretic: Good / Great

Two Mormon girls on their mission to spread their faith knock on the door of a man who eagerly invites them in for religious discourse. It's soon quite apparent it's the girls faith that is brought into question.

Decent film if a bit ham-fisted and convenient with its delivery. Feels like a film cowritten by a person of faith and a skeptic/agnostic, or at least a film written by someone of one extreme lending credence to the other extreme. Hugh Grant certainly steps out of his rom-com comfort zone into the role of a sadistic intellectual who's both disturbing and fascinating to watch. Honestly, could have been longer; it ramps up to eleven in the final minutes, and I personally feel more time should have been spent there given the intense build up and suspense that ultimately brought me to it. Recommended, particularly if you've a friend of a faith that knocks on people's doors who'll watch it with you.
 
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Johnny Novgorod

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Nashville (1975), 2/10

It's one of the most aggressively pointless and meandering viewing experiences I've ever suffered through. There's basically zero plot, story or goal the film is progressing towards. You could arrange the vast majority of the scenes into literally any order, and it wouldn't make a lick of difference. You could remove like half the cast to no effect, because there is no narrative for them to influence in the first place. Scenes don't build on or lead into one another, things just happen randomly. There are no character arcs or developments. There is no flow to the editing or the film's structure, it just cuts into something different when it seems to get bored.
This dude doesn't Altman.
 
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Bartholen

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This dude doesn't Altman.
If Nashville is anything to go by, then I sure as fuck don't. I could maybe have taken the complete aimlessness if not for the constantly overlapping dialogue which made the movie an actually physically painful experience.
 

Johnny Novgorod

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Heretic (2024)

Two young girls knock on Hugh Grant's house to pitch him the Book of Mormon and find themselves "politely" trapped inside, forced to debate religion with their self-appointed jailer/dungeon master. It's a pretty good movie that feels genuinely interested in what it has to discuss instead of merely playing dress up. I guess I was expecting more to it, given the tremendous buildup, but it did not disappoint. The girls are great and Hugh Grant is delightful.

Carry-On (2024)

A charmingly simplistic 90s-00s action thriller about a chatty killer puppeting a TSA agent on Christmas Eve: he has to let a mystery suitcase through the conveyor belt or his preggo girlfriend (also working at the airport) gets it. It's Speed, it's Nick of Time, it's Phone Booth. It's also every Liam Neeson thriller the director, Jaume Collet-Serra, made in the 2010s: Unknown, Non-Stop, Run All Night, The Commuter. Watch if you love suspending your disbelief.

Vampire's Kiss (1989)

Watch Nic Cage go batshit as he slowly transforms into a vampire, or thinks that he does. This is the mother lode of Cage memes and probably the thing that solidified his eccentric persona (a secondary character literally muses "He is eccentric", which I've never heard on any previous or succeding films). My god, the flailing and the screaming and the running and that fucking accent. He's jumping on furniture, he's going down on all fours, he's singing the alphabet, he's eating live cockroaches (for realsies), he's gorging on necks with cheap plastic teeth.

He starts off as some yuppie working at a literary agency, but then a bat flies into his apartment and he's suddenly smitten by an imaginary succubus (Jennifer Beals). He takes to preying on women and in particular torturing one poor employee at the agency (Maria Conchita Alonso). The wild, outrageous performance by Cage is probably what got this labeled as a comedy but it's more of an absurdist nightmare (the writer previously penned After Hours) and honestly it has more in common with American Psycho than any other "dark" comedy.
 
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Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair

Tarantino's fourth movie, originally released as a two parter against Tarantino's own wishes. This is technically not the official "Whole Bloody Affair" cut that hasn't been publicly released and that Tarantino only shows at private screenings, which, you might be surprised to learn, I haven't yet been invited to. No, this is an official reconstruction made by fans, although what it technically constitutes are both halves back to back, an action scene that was originally edited to be in black and white for being "too graphic" being restored to colour and a minor scene being edited out that was part of a cliffhanger at the end of the first volume but spoils a pivotal plot point in the second movie.

Young Uma Thurman is still peak mommy. And, like, the rest wasn't too bad either.

Jokes aside, Kill Bill, in this version, probably still stands as Tarantino's most ambitious project. A four hour revenge opera that moves from location to location as casually as it moves from genre to genre.

Uma Thurman plays a former elite assassin who is attacked and almost killed by her vengeful former team, lead by eponymous Bill (David Carradine) on the day of her wedding. After waking from a coma, she resolves to hunt them down one by one. A journey that doesn't just take her to Japan and back but also back and forth between the genre conventions of exploitation films, martial arts movies, anime, yakuza movies, spaghetti westerns, wuxia and family drama. In short, Kill Bill is a love letter to about 50 years worth of violent genre cinema from all around the world.

All of which, you'd think, would render it little more than a postmodernist curiosity that should only appeal to movie geeks but once again Tarantino's talent as a writer and action director made it a wide success. Watching it in one piece, though, highlights some rather curious tendencies. That is, if you watch Kill Bill as one movie it's one that starts off very fast and from the halfway point onward slows down considerably. Where the climax of the first half is probably the most elaborate and longest action sequence Tarantino ever shot, real Hongkong shit, the climax of the latter half is mostly a long conversation. It's the kind of decision you usually just don't see in mainstream action movies

It shows Tarantino's tremendous confidence in his own character writing and I guess exactly that is what carries Kill Bill even once the pace slows down and the action becomes more scarce. Almost every character is some sort of genre archetype but also every single character has stuff going on beyond what's there at face value. O-Ren Ishii has an entire animated sequence dedicated to her backstory, Budd has this entire little intro of him struggling with his job as a bouncer, Vernita seems like a stock blaxploitation homage but she's also someone who has managed to do exactly what the protagonist wanted to do, retire from the life and settle down with a family.

There is something to be said about that... it wasn't originally Tarantino's intention for Kill Bill to be split into two parts but while that is regrettable, at the very least it wasn't cut down into a single 2 hour movie. There are so many digressive little bits in there that, had the movie been subject to a Justice League style butchering, would have landed on the cutting room floor and everything that makes it work along with it. It works not because it it's a pitch perfect tribute to violent low budget cinema, it works because it takes the trappings of that violent low budget cinema and fleshes it in terms of scale and character depth that it reaches a certain grandeur.

Bill's famous monologue about Superman is such a great example for it. On one hand, it's obviously not what anyone who's really into Superman would read into his characterization but it's exactly what someone like Bill, behind his smooth exterior a narcissistic, self centered cult leader type, would take away from it. The writing gets so much across about these people in such an efficient way.

When I wrote about Once Upon a Time In Hollywood I wrote that it's more or less a movie about what an older, more relaxed Tarantino likes. Old movie stars, 70's music, Hollywood's golden age, Margot Robbie's feet... a movie about hanging out with a bunch of interesting personalities in a bygone age. Kill Bill is a movie about everything young Tarantino found cool, kung fu and anime, westerns and gangsters and assassins and Uma Thurman's feet. Me, personally, I wouldn't mind him making another action movie. He has talked about being interested in directing a third Kill Bill installment, in fact. I like his newer, more relaxed, dialogue heavy stuff a lot but it would be cool to get something like this again before he retires.
His last movie (if he sticks to his “ten features and I’m done” rhetoric) will be The Movie Critic, so not sure if he’d make an exception for a part 3. Then there’s Uma’s car crash while filming, and the Weinstein thing, but then about a decade later they were apparently dating or something, so who the hell knows anymore. Guess that’s Hollyweird.


*edit* turns out he’s not making The Movie Critic anymore, so some mild hope restored?
 
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PsychedelicDiamond

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His last movie (if he sticks to his “ten features and I’m done” rhetoric) will be The Movie Critic, so not sure if he’d make an exception for a part 3. Then there’s Uma’s car crash while filming, and the Weinstein thing, but then about a decade later they were apparently dating or something, so who the hell knows anymore. Guess that’s Hollyweird.


*edit* turns out he’s not making The Movie Critic anymore, so some mild hope restored?
First of all I don't believe for a minute he'll go through with retiring and he has explicitly said that he considers the entire Kill Bill series one movie and would make an exception for it. He explicitly said that he has plans for a sequel about Vernita's daughter taking revenge on Beatrix.

And also, again, I'm not buying he's actually gonna retire. I'm willing to bet before too long he'll be like "Well, technically it's a limited series, technically it's a remake, technically it's an adaptation...", something like that.
 
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Bartholen

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Cabin in the Woods, 8/10

This movie is very easily spoiled. Though it's from 2012, it's kind of exited the cultural consciousness, and as such I can't know how much people know or remember it. So I'll talk about it in vague generalities outside of spoilers. Suffice to say that this is a movie that can really be only experienced once as it was intended, and that's by knowing absolutely nothing about it. Even saying that it starts out as your typical college slasher movie, but not everything is as it seems, feels like giving too much away. I'd say it holds up very well aside from some PS3-esque CGI, I enjoyed it very much. I hadn't seen it since it originally came out, but I remembered it pretty clearly.

This is probably one of the best products Joss Whedon was ever involved in. Though he was only the writer and Drew Goddard the director, Whedon's style and fingerprints are all over it. It's very meta, constantly poking fun at itself in multiple ways, and undercutting the dramatic tension of a lot of scenes with sudden bursts of humor. But whereas with the Avengers it just devolved into insufferable quippage, here it's actually got a point, and is used for deliberately jarring the viewer out of the movie. This is one of the most satisfying "down the rabbit hole" movies probably ever. I still remember the feeling in the cinema of thinking "this has to be where it ends" like 5 different times, and then the movie just kept going and getting crazier. You're shown that things are weird and being controlled behind the scenes right from the outset, there's no tension to it. The tension comes from slowly putting the picture together, and realizing the magnitude of the events taking place. It somehow manages to show the perspectives of both the side that knows everything, and the side that knows nothing, without at any point giving too much away or making the campers' side of the story feel irrelevant. And it culminates in one of the most brazenly balls-out climaxes in the entire genre. It's just so relentlessly entertaining and satisfying all the way through.

Great movie.
 
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thebobmaster

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BrawlMan

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I saw LOTR: War of Rohirrim. This a straight up 10/10 for me! I admit, I am a super casual LOTR fan. I saw the movies back in the day, and that's it. I never bothered with The Hobbit movies, and still have not bothered with Rings of Power. Even if you're a non-fan, it's worth watching because you don't need to see the other films to know the plot or character, because Rohirrim is isolated from all that and takes place 200 years before The Hobbit.