I don't know when, why, how, or to whom, but at some point between now and my death, I'm going to use
"It look like my fanny after me fella's had a go on it!" to describe something visibly awful. That is the the funniest shit I've ever heard. Tell your shy and retiring friend I am forever in their debt.
But yeah, that... food? looks terrible. What is it? I know what fried chicken, pizza, and burgers look like, so I ruled those out, so I googled "kebab" (the only kebabs I know are "shish'd," and THAT ain't it,) so this looks like a beyond pathetic attempt at a doner kebab if the Google images are any indicator? If those images are high-end escorts in Las Vegas, THAT kebab is a crack whore in Detroit.