I'm not really sure this is the same kinda thing but I do understand your point. If you have followed my posts at all then you know that I am a fan of the streamer Destiny and one of the things that always comes up in his debates is him trying to figure out exactly what someone means when they say something or claim to be part or so and so group. This can go a number of ways depending on the person hes talking too, sometimes they will clarify and then Destiny will ask something to try and gauge how consistent they are and they will either answer or assume hes trying to trap them, if they answer and are consistent he will usually just say "ok" if not then it goes into a circular argument for awhile. Like if someone says they are left wing what do they mean? Do they mean they are a socialist, a socdem, a progressive, a tankie, what?
If people are even working with slightly different definitions then its easy to end up talking over each other and missing each others points, naturally those that share your biases will probably be able to understand where you are coming from easier so like it or not, there will be a hangup if you have to understand someone elses definition for things. This is just a problem with our stupidly complicated language and poorly defined yet broadly used definitions we like to use.