Recent content by CynicalMarcus

Whoops. Double post.

Dear Yahtzee, Thank you for redeeming The Escapist for the week. We were unfortunately tainted by Moviebob being a complete and total dumbfuck yesterday. For this, I might name one of my children after you. Probably not though. -Marcus

Notice how he says that shit, yet has never played anything by Valve, and one game from Irrational Games. It's like eating a couple bad pizzas and dismissing all Italian food ever made.

That's because it wasn't there. It's a bunch of aliens fighting a bunch of humans and cyborgs. There is no subtext. Seriously, this video was fucking stupid on so many levels.

Nope. I never said that it wasn't. What I did say is that it's not entirely original. It's not. Is it a good game? Yes. Heck, it's an amazing game. One of my faves. However, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that it's the first game to play like it did, face down mythological beasts, or...

Would you like to try again? Kiddo, the sooner that you realize that there's nothing new underneath the sun you'll find yourself enjoying things much, much more. You'll also feel this new sensation called "being right." From someone who is right, let me tell you that it's an awesome feeling...

No, it did not. Action platformer where you're facing down legions of creatures of myth using a whip based weapon? Castlevania did that in 1983. God of War was the first game to take the ideas that Castlevania brought forth years upon years beforehand and successfully bring it into 3D. Even...

Mythological monsters and chained whips were Castlevania originals. You need to wake up.

Not really. "Somebody gets pissed and goes off to kill a bunch of mythological creatures." Until God of War came out, that described Castlevania in a nutshell. The review was funny, but it couldn't be more wrong if it were written by Ben Kuchera.

Nobody with half a brain cell, that's for sure.

Keep in mind he didn't hate GTAIV at first either. It wouldn't surprise me if he completely smashes Reach when Bulletstorm comes out.

Keep in mind that Jim Sterling is the guy who gave it a 1/10, and he's not very bright.

I'm soulless for calling shit writing out as shit writing? I never even MENTIONED Croshaw, and this is the first time I've posted in the ZP area. Feel free to take that baseless assumption and cram it, kiddo. Fact of the matter is that Bob Chipman is a biased individual. A glorified console...

Oh, you mean the argument that attempts to validate a bullshit fan theory of Samus having post traumatic stress disorder? So I guess you'd prefer excusing away bad writing than holding the shit writer accountable for it? Thanks for not having a spine, kiddo.

That statement is a load of shit. I'm a 25 year old in a Megadeth T-Shirt. Suck it.