10 Ways to Get Out of the Friend-Zone!

[chiggerwood]

Don't just listen to Taco, take it from me. These totally work!

Just a few months ago I was friendzoning men left, right and centre but they took these tips on-board and now I turned my feelings for them on like a tap!

Thank God they pointed out how much of a douche my old boyfriend was after speaking to him for four seconds. I wouldn't have realised otherwise, being a stupid woman and all.

Now it's out with the old treating me wonderfully with candle-lit meals and back-rubs and in with the new lack of affection and watching them play games all day.

Life is really great!

This is why you listen to the almighty penis people. EeveeElectro knows what's up! If you catch my dri- sweet, bungee jumping Erebus... The friendzone thing still going on huh? Thanks for the info. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going back to my bunker. Non assholes feel free to join, drinks, popcorn and cheesy movies will be available. Please leave all memes at the door, Thank you.

By the way, What in the name of Nyx's taint hairs is Euphoria?

 

[Estranged180]

I have an 11th way to get out of the 'friendzone'

Spoiler

Man the hell up and say something

Believe it or not, this works better than any other method that I can mention. Also, if a negative response is given, you're out of it anyway, because you don't need that shit in your life.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Taco you are amazing, thank you. I wondered where I had been going wrong and I think it's because I lack sufficient hair follicles on my below-chin area. To show my gratitude: next time I make it with a girl I will scream your name upon reaching the point of no return. If it feels like it's going to take too long before I make it with a girl, I'll just yell your name next time I fap or something.

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You there, females! Do you think you would not-friendzone me - like, sex and everything - if I achieved all of the above steps without le beardy neck?

Without the beardy neck?
I don't think so.
That's the best bit!

 

[wulf3n]

Those are all ways to get out of the "friend" zone

+1

 

[Superior Mind]

Instructions unclear. Married an eggplant.

 

[Lieju]

This thread is great and all, but I need instructions on how to know to recognize a friendzone.

All these years I have had male friends and not initiated a romantic relationship with them despite us getting along well and had no idea I was being a friendzoning feminazi!

 

[EeveeElectro]

Taco you are amazing, thank you. I wondered where I had been going wrong and I think it's because I lack sufficient hair follicles on my below-chin area. To show my gratitude: next time I make it with a girl I will scream your name upon reaching the point of no return. If it feels like it's going to take too long before I make it with a girl, I'll just yell your name next time I fap or something.

snip

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You there, females! Do you think you would not-friendzone me - like, sex and everything - if I achieved all of the above steps without le beardy neck?

Gosh, um, that's tough. We can bring it up at the next Bitches Who Friendzone Nice Guys meeting next Saturday.
I think some of us agree that if you just have bad hygiene in general like BO or never cut your hair or wash your downstairs regions, we find that irresistible too.

The neckbeard is a bit of a deal breaker but what do we know? You know our emotions more than us and we're just stupid women who can be manipulated into liking you!

 

[Teoes]

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Cheers. Also, ach. You've made me realise something else. I used the wrong terminology, referring to you as 'females' when of course the correct wordage is 'bitches'. I am destined to be friendzoned forever. Woe is me.

 

[Hazy992]

Bravo Taco, you are truly an inspiration to us all. In this moment I am euphoric.

I tip my fedora to you sir!

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M'lady?

 

[JoJo]

I have an 11th way to get out of the 'friendzone'

Spoiler

Man the hell up and say something

Believe it or not, this works better than any other method that I can mention. Also, if a negative response is given, you're out of it anyway, because you don't need that shit in your life.

Wait, what? Didn't you know, the best way to score with women is to never ask directly but instead befriend them and slowly work your way into their lives until suddenly they fall into your arms and declare undying love for you! It's guaranteed to work [small]unless they're some friendzoning feminazi, in which case you're too enlightened by your own intelligence for that shit...[/small]

Me, I get all the ladies, one tip of my fedora and it's a done deal ;-)

Spoiler

 

[Evilsanta]

This has to be one of the best threads ever.

OT: So that is how you get out of the friendzone! Thank you Mr Taco.

You have enlightened me and showed me the true path.

I will finally be able to get out of the friendzone while also getting lots and lots of

sweet sweet sex!

Truly you are a god Ubermench among men.

 

[Colour Scientist]

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M'lady?

*fans self*

Wow, such gentleman.
Oh dear, I appear to have lost my pants!

 

[Phasmal]

What? How dare you be breaking out of our friendzones?
Don't you know that's where we get our power from?

Thats it, I'm bringing forward the next Nice Guy sacrifice.
Mark my words, you will all suffer the humiliation of being... friends with women.

 

[Lil_Rimmy]

*Walks into the room*
Ladies, Men, Neckbeards.
*Steps into corner*
*Puts on flat-cap*

For, in this moment, I was unprepared for the euphoria.

*awkwardness intensifies*

 

[teamcharlie]

Oh. Man. Resentment, shaming people for their weight, and critical levels of smugness? Please tell me more original thoughts about these 'neckbeards' and how loathsome you find them. It's just so inspiring to hear how much love and understanding y'all are adding to the gene pool from all your hawt sexts, btw.

 

[Lil_Rimmy]

Resentment, shaming people for their weight, and critical levels of smugness?

Before someone tries to turn this thread serious:

1. This thread is for fun. Smile and joke, if someone turns this into a real thread I'm going to have to bomb Canada. You don't want me to kill the mooses, do you?

2. This thread is literal smugness that overloads and is reaching supernova. Bask in it's euphoria.

3. Shaming people for their weight? If someone ate their way to that weight, then I could care less. If someone shames someone for being overweight and they have a genuine disability/sickness that makes them literally incapable of becoming fit, then that person is a dick. If you complain about shame from eating your way into unhealthiness and sickness - No. Hush Puppy, you ate this upon yourself.

4. Wear this fedora. And tip dat sheit.

5. Don't Worry, It's A Silly Thread!

 

[Baron von Blitztank]

I did all these but I somehow ended up with my dick inside a salmon. Can you tell me where I went wrong?

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

If you're in the friend zone and the girl already has a boyfriend, never fear! Another great tip is to openly belittle the relationship she's in! Talk shit about the guy she's with, and by proxy, her decision making skills! Then if, I'm sorry, WHEN they break up, be sure to remind her that you told her so. She'll be all over you like this peanut butter is on my open chest right now. It's been a confusing night.

 

[SonicWaffle]

Don't just listen to Taco, take it from me. These totally work!

Just a few months ago I was friendzoning men left, right and centre but they took these tips on-board and now I turned my feelings for them on like a tap!

Thank God they pointed out how much of a douche my old boyfriend was after speaking to him for four seconds. I wouldn't have realised otherwise, being a stupid woman and all.

Now it's out with the old treating me wonderfully with candle-lit meals and back-rubs and in with the new lack of affection and watching them play games all day.

Life is really great!

This is why you listen to the almighty penis people. EeveeElectro knows what's up! If you catch my dri- sweet, bungee jumping Erebus... The friendzone thing still going on huh? Thanks for the info. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going back to my bunker. Non assholes feel free to join, drinks, popcorn and cheesy movies will be available. Please leave all memes at the door, Thank you.

By the way, What in the name of Nyx's taint hairs is Euphoria?

OK, I am going to Nerd The Fuck Up right now. Be warned.

I'm guessing that since you referred to Erebos up there, all-powerful god of the mono-black devotion deck who is second only to Nylea in being wickedcool, the Nyx you're referring to is that of MtG. As in the awesome Nykthos, shrine to Nyx, which rocks out with its cock out in my green devotion deck.

AFAIK, within the lore, Nyx is actually the place where the gods live, a la Olympus. Hence the next set being "Journey into Nyx". As such, it doesn't really have a taint, and thus no taint hairs. HTH, HAND.

OT: I don't really have anything on-topic to say. I'm just a Magic geek and a pedant