Prepare to Meet the Pyro

[Andy Chalk]

Prepare to Meet the Pyro

It's [almost] time to Meet the Pyro!

You've met the Medic [http://www.teamfortress.com/classes.php?class=heavy]. You've met all the Team Fortress 2 crew, in fact, but one: the Pyro. But it appears that the long awaited moment is just about here, and that soon - actually, the word Valve used is "eventually" - we'll finally get to meet the man.

If he is a man, that is.

It's long been rumored that the world's favorite FPS firebug is in fact a member of the fairer sex and that we just haven't noticed because of the function-over-fashion outfit. I'm not aware of any actual evidence pointing to this conclusion, but Valve isn't going out of its way to cool the talk.

"Only two things are known for sure about the mysterious Pyro: he sets things on fire and he doesn't speak. In fact, only the part about setting things on fire is undisputed. Some believe his occasional rasping wheeze may be an attempt to communicate through a mouth obstructed by a filter and attached to lungs ravaged by constant exposure to his asbestos-lined suit," the Pyro class entry [http://www.teamfortress.com/classes.php?class=pyro] says. "Either way, he's a fearsome, inscrutable, on-fire Frankenstein of a man - if he even is a man."

Interesting! Valve has a few other things in the works for 2012 as well, including a top-secret TF2 project that is neither a hat nor a map [but possibly an ungodly hat-map hybrid], a Steam Workshop blog and the second annual Saxxy Awards. Read all about it at teamfortress.com [http://www.teamfortress.com/post.php?id=7254]!

Thanks to The_root_of_all_evil [www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/The_root_of_all_evil] for the tip.


Permalink

 

[Monkeyman O'Brien]

Im betting on a Kenny [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49hhd0bmvh0] style narration that won't reveal a damn thing.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I always like the "Meet the" videos. Plus more content from Valve is always a plus.

I'm going to bet that the Pyro's gender will remain ambiguous after the video though.

 

[Viridian]

In b4 muffled "mhrmhr" of agreement.

I've always enjoyed these intro videos, and it's about time the pyro got his/her turn.

 

[DustyDrB]

And just as I completed the last of the Pyro achievements. I hope the video's Pyro uses the Degreaser like I do.

 

[Waaghpowa]

I almost guarantee that they'll continue to troll us and not reveal the Pyros sex in traditional Valve troll fashion.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Oh come on Valve don't tease us that way! Great now I got something to look forward in the coming months.

 

[Byere]

wait what? A hat-map hybrid? Oh gawd! The demonic, unearthly, giant space hats have landed and now you have to fight across their hatty surfaces, killing all the hat-wearing lunatics!!!!! [insert screams of fear and panic]

 

[Fr]anc[is]

I'm guessing something big is going to drop before we get to see the pyro, either the HL3 logo or a TF3:Hats announcement.

 

[Steve the Pocket]

Judging from some of the language in their post and some stuff I heard ages ago, I already know what the secret project is.

Spoiler

Source Filmmaker. Which they said a while ago was going to be released when Meet the Pyro comes out.

 

[Hero in a half shell]

I almost guarantee that they'll continue to troll us and not reveal the Pyros sex in traditional Valve troll fashion.

Isn't it obvious who the Pyro is?

Spoiler

[HEADING=1]DUN DUN DUN![/HEADING]

Why did you think the G-man spoke so weirdly?

"lungs ravaged by constant exposure to his asbestos-lined suit"

Yeah, that'll do it.

That's the real revelation. And the next thing on the cards:

a top-secret TF2 project that is neither a hat nor a map

It's Gordon Freeman, as a playable TF2 Character, fighting one-on-one with Saxton Hale!

 

[RJ 17]

Im betting on a Kenny [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49hhd0bmvh0] style narration that won't reveal a damn thing.

Pretty much my thoughts exactly. I see a Pyro acting as though he/she is carrying on a detailed, lengthy interview, mrphhurphburphmurph'ing along as though all of us can understand it.

Personally I gotta say my favorite Meet The video is Meet The Sniper. "Look dad, I'm an assassin, not a crazed gunman!.....Well the difference being that one is a profession and the other is a mental disorder!"

 

[NLS]

I hope they reveal that the pyro is in fact Gordon Freeman, and that TF2 was HL(2Ep)3 all along.
Yep, you heard it from me first.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Mexican Petrol Station Attendant.

I'll say no more.

 

[WhiteTigerShiro]

It's long been rumored that the world's favorite FPS firebug is in fact a member of the fairer sex and that we just haven't noticed because of the function-over-fashion outfit. I'm not aware of any actual evidence pointing to this conclusion, but Valve isn't going out of its way to cool the talk.

To my knowledge, the only actual evidence is that there's a purse in Pyro's locker on the 2fort map. However, the counter-argument is that it's equally likely that Pyro is a guy, and he has a purse because he's just plain bat-shit loco.

If other evidence besides the purse exists, I don't know about it or cannot think of it off-hand. I think there's maybe a Pyro-exclusive hat that acts as evidence with the same "he's just crazy" counter-point.

 

[Veloxe]

It might just be too much Top Gear but I figure The Pyro is actually The Stig, or vice versa.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

I expect a reasonable interview, with "Murnphurnf" being about all we hear, with documentary style italicized subtitles to tell us what s/he's saying to a commentator, who might ask a question like "and how do you respond to the claims that you're secretly a woman hiding behind the suit?" And it cuts to a shot of her blazing someone up, followed by more mumblecore, with the subtitles "I leave the question burning in their minds." or some other suitably terrible pun.

 

[SamuelT]

I'm not convinced that the revelation of the Pyro will be cut short by another announcement, or something. Or just 3.5 minutes of the guy/girl being interviewed and answering with those muffled words.

'Cause Valve're trolls like that.