13, 16, 18, Now - what were you like as a teenager?
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13
I was quite overweight and my hair started to thin out. I would have been in grade 8 around this time if I remember right and at that time I still did fairly well in school overall. I was very socially awkward and had a small group of friends. I was occasionally bullied, but not as badly as I had been in elementary school. This was when gaming began to take over TV as one of most important hobbies. I also picked up drumming around this time if I remember correctly.
16
At this point I 'grew' into my weight and slimmed out to the point of being scrawny. I was in grade 11 and all my grades took a violent nosedive. Partly due to my complete hopelessness in any subject concerning math or science, but mostly due to me having a complete emotional breakdown. To this day I don't know exactly how it happened, but I guess all the years of loneliness, bullying, low self esteem and so forth finally got to me all at once. I slipped into an extremely deep depression and, being an immature teenager, I didn't handle it well. I alienated the few friends I had, but managed to meet a small handful of people. I became even more socially awkward than I had been before and began to have suicidal thoughts. Being 16, I suppose I should mention that I never found a girlfriend.
18
By 18 I was still quite scrawny and my hair had thinned out even more. Despite my unremarkable grades, I managed to get into the history program at the University of Calgary. I did far better grade-wise in a university environment than I ever did in high school. I still suffered from severe depression and the small handful of new people I met quickly distanced themselves from me. I continued to be socially awkward and girls still paid no attention to me.
19
I will slip this time of my life in here, since this was when my little world blew up in my face. A couple of friends that I had met when I was 16 had finally had enough of my constant downbeat, depressing drivel and broke ties with me. They basically let out three years of pent-up frustration all at once and really laid into me with various insults. They were the closest friends I had and they meant everything to me. I attempted suicide, but it didn't work out.
Present (21, almost 22)
I have currently bulked up to a point where I'm of an average, healthy build. Nothing crazy toned or sexy, but not fat or scrawny. I have finally given up on trying to keep what little of my hair remains, and just shaved it all off. I finished my military history degree and was admitted to graduate school, which I will begin this Fall. In addition to studying military history further, I will also have to fulfill a language requirement. The language I have selected is Japanese, since my main research interest is the Pacific War.
After spending a year and a half still broken up over what happened when I was 19, I have started to try and make my life better. My social skills have improved considerably, though I still have very few friends. The two friends who left when I was 19 actually came back a few months ago and, all of us being far more mature, we are now closer than we ever were before. I wouldn't say that I am happy, since I still suffer from an intense feeling of loneliness, along with low confidence and self esteem. I just handle it with far more maturity and grace than I did before. My largest insecurity is that girls still completely ignore me. People around me are starting to get married, or are in long-term relationships and I haven't even gotten to hold hands or flirt with a girl.
I was quite overweight and my hair started to thin out. I would have been in grade 8 around this time if I remember right and at that time I still did fairly well in school overall. I was very socially awkward and had a small group of friends. I was occasionally bullied, but not as badly as I had been in elementary school. This was when gaming began to take over TV as one of most important hobbies. I also picked up drumming around this time if I remember correctly.
16
At this point I 'grew' into my weight and slimmed out to the point of being scrawny. I was in grade 11 and all my grades took a violent nosedive. Partly due to my complete hopelessness in any subject concerning math or science, but mostly due to me having a complete emotional breakdown. To this day I don't know exactly how it happened, but I guess all the years of loneliness, bullying, low self esteem and so forth finally got to me all at once. I slipped into an extremely deep depression and, being an immature teenager, I didn't handle it well. I alienated the few friends I had, but managed to meet a small handful of people. I became even more socially awkward than I had been before and began to have suicidal thoughts. Being 16, I suppose I should mention that I never found a girlfriend.
18
By 18 I was still quite scrawny and my hair had thinned out even more. Despite my unremarkable grades, I managed to get into the history program at the University of Calgary. I did far better grade-wise in a university environment than I ever did in high school. I still suffered from severe depression and the small handful of new people I met quickly distanced themselves from me. I continued to be socially awkward and girls still paid no attention to me.
19
I will slip this time of my life in here, since this was when my little world blew up in my face. A couple of friends that I had met when I was 16 had finally had enough of my constant downbeat, depressing drivel and broke ties with me. They basically let out three years of pent-up frustration all at once and really laid into me with various insults. They were the closest friends I had and they meant everything to me. I attempted suicide, but it didn't work out.
Present (21, almost 22)
I have currently bulked up to a point where I'm of an average, healthy build. Nothing crazy toned or sexy, but not fat or scrawny. I have finally given up on trying to keep what little of my hair remains, and just shaved it all off. I finished my military history degree and was admitted to graduate school, which I will begin this Fall. In addition to studying military history further, I will also have to fulfill a language requirement. The language I have selected is Japanese, since my main research interest is the Pacific War.
After spending a year and a half still broken up over what happened when I was 19, I have started to try and make my life better. My social skills have improved considerably, though I still have very few friends. The two friends who left when I was 19 actually came back a few months ago and, all of us being far more mature, we are now closer than we ever were before. I wouldn't say that I am happy, since I still suffer from an intense feeling of loneliness, along with low confidence and self esteem. I just handle it with far more maturity and grace than I did before. My largest insecurity is that girls still completely ignore me. People around me are starting to get married, or are in long-term relationships and I haven't even gotten to hold hands or flirt with a girl.
13: Loved Pokemon. Played it pretty much all the time- I mean, I am quite fond of the series now, but back then, it was pretty much all I played. Also 13 was when I became acutely aware of my own mortality, because someone in my year died- so I spent the next two or so years contemplating whatever nothingness awaits after death.
16: Like that, but three years of being all serious all the time had finally worn me down, so I started to take other things less seriously, like achieving decent marks and meeting new people. Interestingly, I gain a reputation as someone to tell your problems to, so I also become the year's psychologist. I am OK with this.
18: Woah shit I'm an adult now, and I'm finishing high-school, and I wish I could go back and live forever and ever and ever and ever an-
I spent this year wishing I could redo high-school and get better marks, more or less. I was at least a bit pro-active, though, enrolling in a shitty I.T. course where I learnt extraordinary things, like how to switch computers on, or install operating systems.
That course got me into a much better game design course, though, which leads me to...
19 (Now): I live games now. That's pretty much it. I rarely speak with my friends, because I'm too busy doing college work, and my free time is game research (Playing games).
21-? I'm a handsome, clever and brilliant game developer, showcasing my genre-defying games at PAX, E3 and JoshExpo, which is the most popular of all the yearly game events because I run it. Also I'm really handsome.
16: Like that, but three years of being all serious all the time had finally worn me down, so I started to take other things less seriously, like achieving decent marks and meeting new people. Interestingly, I gain a reputation as someone to tell your problems to, so I also become the year's psychologist. I am OK with this.
18: Woah shit I'm an adult now, and I'm finishing high-school, and I wish I could go back and live forever and ever and ever and ever an-
I spent this year wishing I could redo high-school and get better marks, more or less. I was at least a bit pro-active, though, enrolling in a shitty I.T. course where I learnt extraordinary things, like how to switch computers on, or install operating systems.
That course got me into a much better game design course, though, which leads me to...
19 (Now): I live games now. That's pretty much it. I rarely speak with my friends, because I'm too busy doing college work, and my free time is game research (Playing games).
21-? I'm a handsome, clever and brilliant game developer, showcasing my genre-defying games at PAX, E3 and JoshExpo, which is the most popular of all the yearly game events because I run it. Also I'm really handsome.
Being a teenager in America is pretty shitty. You got everybody telling you to live up to the worst aspects of adulthood and trying to get you to stay away from the fun parts. At least it only lasts several years.
I guess I did okay. I was a bit of a class clown. Offended a lot of people, smoked a lot of pot, and went to a lot of parties. I was a bit moody at times but as I stated before, most teens have a right to be.
I had a few groups of solid friends but (unless they were friends of a girlfriend) I didn't hang out with the kids my age too much. When I was younger, I hung out with older kids and when I was a Senior, I was hanging out with younger kids. Overall, I got along pretty well with the general population of my HS. My friends and I got harassed by a couple of bullies but we would always harass them back...sometimes going a little too far.
I was pretty shallow so I didn't get laid as much as I would've liked to (what teen does) but the ones I did hook up with were hotties. I wish I hadn't been so shallow, looking back I could've hooked up with some chicks that (while not quite as "hot") were kinky and lots of fun.
I guess I did okay. I was a bit of a class clown. Offended a lot of people, smoked a lot of pot, and went to a lot of parties. I was a bit moody at times but as I stated before, most teens have a right to be.
I had a few groups of solid friends but (unless they were friends of a girlfriend) I didn't hang out with the kids my age too much. When I was younger, I hung out with older kids and when I was a Senior, I was hanging out with younger kids. Overall, I got along pretty well with the general population of my HS. My friends and I got harassed by a couple of bullies but we would always harass them back...sometimes going a little too far.
I was pretty shallow so I didn't get laid as much as I would've liked to (what teen does) but the ones I did hook up with were hotties. I wish I hadn't been so shallow, looking back I could've hooked up with some chicks that (while not quite as "hot") were kinky and lots of fun.
13 - I was in my second year of secondary school, and the pressure of it was beginning to get to me. I'd been one of the smartest students at my primary school and managed to get in to the best grant school in the area, I probably expected it to be easy as primary school had been, but I soon realised that when you're surrounded by people of the same intelligence as you it's hard not to feel average. At the same time, boys outside of school, were starting to become important. They'd started to notice me as a girl, rather than just one of the lads, and it all went to my head. My priorities shifted negatively and I began to lose my self confidence.
16 - I'd already dropped out of school. I was being bullied both by my peers and, more importantly, my teachers. I felt worthless and persecuted and completely alone. The boys who, at 13, seemed so vital to my existence got cruel and it felt like everywhere I went I was treated badly. I still had the same friends I'd had since I was a child, and they were my security net, but they hadn't attended the same secondary school as me. Life was hard.
18 - After years of trying, and failing, to battle it, I succumbed to depression. I was on medication and sporadically attending counselling. I had a few nervous breakdowns, and developed agoraphobia.
27 (now) - Life is good! It took years for me to recover from depression, I didn't leave the house for nearly a year at one point but I did eventually start to get better. By 23 I was almost fully recovered and had moved in with my (now ex-) boyfriend. It didn't last, but I can't deny the positive effect it had on my life. I'm an Open Uni student now. I'm hoping to eventually transfer to a brick University and pick up on all the years I missed. I'm starting to feel clever again. I still have prescriptions for things like panic attacks and I'm always concerned I'll end up on rock bottom again, but it doesn't control my life, I control it.
16 - I'd already dropped out of school. I was being bullied both by my peers and, more importantly, my teachers. I felt worthless and persecuted and completely alone. The boys who, at 13, seemed so vital to my existence got cruel and it felt like everywhere I went I was treated badly. I still had the same friends I'd had since I was a child, and they were my security net, but they hadn't attended the same secondary school as me. Life was hard.
18 - After years of trying, and failing, to battle it, I succumbed to depression. I was on medication and sporadically attending counselling. I had a few nervous breakdowns, and developed agoraphobia.
27 (now) - Life is good! It took years for me to recover from depression, I didn't leave the house for nearly a year at one point but I did eventually start to get better. By 23 I was almost fully recovered and had moved in with my (now ex-) boyfriend. It didn't last, but I can't deny the positive effect it had on my life. I'm an Open Uni student now. I'm hoping to eventually transfer to a brick University and pick up on all the years I missed. I'm starting to feel clever again. I still have prescriptions for things like panic attacks and I'm always concerned I'll end up on rock bottom again, but it doesn't control my life, I control it.
13 - Optimistic, helpful and, mostly chipper. I was a social butterfly for the most part and the kind of person who wanted to help other people but since I couldn't actually do shit, I helped out with active listening and whatnot...apparently I was really good at that. Also awkward: I was very awkward.
16 - Same as before only I had grown more introverted and got kind of resentful of my step-dad: I saw him as a barrier meanwhile my biological Dad could do no wrong. The optimism had dissipated somewhat during high school, when I realized that I legitimately couldn't comprehend math anymore and realized that shit cost money...like SATs...and Practice SATs...fuck that.
18 - Optimism returns because I graduated high school...but only momentarily because it was quickly and, powerfully followed up by cold, numb, gnawing depression. Also I lost my virginity which was probably the biggest let-down of my life considering the years-upon-years of build up.
21 (since I'm old) - Further depressions and, shattered expectations for at this point I've tried sex on more than one person and more than enough times to know that...no...no, I don't like it. It's not the asexuality thing that depressed me then, it's how I've realized that I have a terrible memory and, my biological Dad is a manipulative asshole and, how I have no idea what I was going to do with myself...
now (25) - ...there's seriously something wrong with me..."I Hate Myself" shouldn't be something I say to myself at all and yet it became a mantra at some point between 21 and 24. I thought this kind of thing was supposed to be attributed to wildly fluctuating hormones and whatnot: I thought this was the kind of thing that was supposed to go away once I was free of my teenage years...seriously, What the Fuck is wrong with me?! I wasn't the one who was dropped on his head at a young age! I blame work...ever since I started working I've been getting more and, more bitter and, angry...
...
[sub]Please excuse dear, sweet Shoggoth: He's in one of his moods and apologizes[/sub]
16 - Same as before only I had grown more introverted and got kind of resentful of my step-dad: I saw him as a barrier meanwhile my biological Dad could do no wrong. The optimism had dissipated somewhat during high school, when I realized that I legitimately couldn't comprehend math anymore and realized that shit cost money...like SATs...and Practice SATs...fuck that.
18 - Optimism returns because I graduated high school...but only momentarily because it was quickly and, powerfully followed up by cold, numb, gnawing depression. Also I lost my virginity which was probably the biggest let-down of my life considering the years-upon-years of build up.
21 (since I'm old) - Further depressions and, shattered expectations for at this point I've tried sex on more than one person and more than enough times to know that...no...no, I don't like it. It's not the asexuality thing that depressed me then, it's how I've realized that I have a terrible memory and, my biological Dad is a manipulative asshole and, how I have no idea what I was going to do with myself...
now (25) - ...there's seriously something wrong with me..."I Hate Myself" shouldn't be something I say to myself at all and yet it became a mantra at some point between 21 and 24. I thought this kind of thing was supposed to be attributed to wildly fluctuating hormones and whatnot: I thought this was the kind of thing that was supposed to go away once I was free of my teenage years...seriously, What the Fuck is wrong with me?! I wasn't the one who was dropped on his head at a young age! I blame work...ever since I started working I've been getting more and, more bitter and, angry...
...
[sub]Please excuse dear, sweet Shoggoth: He's in one of his moods and apologizes[/sub]
11-14 (Lower School)
This was a really fun time in my life. My class in primary school only had about 15 people in it and we were all really good friends. It was right next door to the local secondary school so pretty much everyone went there and we were all in a massive ever-expanding friend group. I was closest with about 4-5 guys and we had sleepovers pretty much every weekend and just played 4 player multiplayer games like Smackdown and Crash Team Racing all night. We were definitely considered the 'mosher/emo' group, but some of my friends were in the 'chav/sporty' group so I sometimes hung out with them when I fancied a game of football (or soccer to the yanks!). I was actually really confident and friendly. One of my most proud memories is when one of the really nerdy guys from our year bought me a box of celebrations because I saved him from a bunch of bullies from the year below and brought him over to hang out with us.
15-16 (Upper School)
Again, pretty fun. I was much more interested in trying to impress the girls than my school work at this point. The effort that I put into my lessons was very dependent on the subject. I tried hard in subjects that I enjoyed like Maths and Science but I pretty much got a detention from every single Religious Studies lesson.
17-18 (College)
College was probably the best time of my life. The majority of people that I didn't really get on with had left and I was friends with almost everyone who remained. I was only studying subjects that I was interested in and we had a free foosball table in the common room, which I spent pretty much all of my free time on. Weekends were great, there was a house party almost every weekend and it was just really fun! Also, me and about 5 of my friends all got jobs as cleaners at the college for 2 hours every evening, which was pretty low effort, decent pay and a great laugh! Left college with top grades and move on to University...
18-21 (Uni)
This was actually one of the least fun parts for me. First year was fine but I didn't really click with my flatmates and spent the majority of time over at my friend's flat. For second and thirds year I ended up living at home and commuting to Uni because I had a girlfriend from back home and the Uni had a free shuttle-bus service that ran from near my parents' house to my Uni. I worked as a private maths tutor and did some part-time work as a teaching assistant in a local school. I had loads of cash but in hindsight, I wish I got a flat with people from Uni.
22-24 - (Now. It's my birthday today!!!)
After Uni I moved down to London and to work for an IT consultancy firm. It's kind of half techy and half dealing with clients (presentations, meetings and all that BS). The first year was pretty lonely and I went home to see my girlfriend almost every weekend. After about a year of long term relationshipping she broke it off and I was pretty down. Luckily my friend from primary school (who I've known since I was about 4!) moved to London too and we got a flat together. To keep myself occupied (and now I see that it was a subconscious form of escapism) I started making an RPG and lately I've decided that I want to work in the games industry. I've almost finished this RPG (~14 months in the making!) and I'm hoping to distribute it later this year. If anyone's interested, let me know and I can send you the most recent version. Oh and for my third year in London, another friend from school moved down and now the 3 of us are living in a flat together and having a cracking time! Alienware laptops, PS3's, Xbox's and plenty of beer. Life's good!
This was a really fun time in my life. My class in primary school only had about 15 people in it and we were all really good friends. It was right next door to the local secondary school so pretty much everyone went there and we were all in a massive ever-expanding friend group. I was closest with about 4-5 guys and we had sleepovers pretty much every weekend and just played 4 player multiplayer games like Smackdown and Crash Team Racing all night. We were definitely considered the 'mosher/emo' group, but some of my friends were in the 'chav/sporty' group so I sometimes hung out with them when I fancied a game of football (or soccer to the yanks!). I was actually really confident and friendly. One of my most proud memories is when one of the really nerdy guys from our year bought me a box of celebrations because I saved him from a bunch of bullies from the year below and brought him over to hang out with us.
15-16 (Upper School)
Again, pretty fun. I was much more interested in trying to impress the girls than my school work at this point. The effort that I put into my lessons was very dependent on the subject. I tried hard in subjects that I enjoyed like Maths and Science but I pretty much got a detention from every single Religious Studies lesson.
17-18 (College)
College was probably the best time of my life. The majority of people that I didn't really get on with had left and I was friends with almost everyone who remained. I was only studying subjects that I was interested in and we had a free foosball table in the common room, which I spent pretty much all of my free time on. Weekends were great, there was a house party almost every weekend and it was just really fun! Also, me and about 5 of my friends all got jobs as cleaners at the college for 2 hours every evening, which was pretty low effort, decent pay and a great laugh! Left college with top grades and move on to University...
18-21 (Uni)
This was actually one of the least fun parts for me. First year was fine but I didn't really click with my flatmates and spent the majority of time over at my friend's flat. For second and thirds year I ended up living at home and commuting to Uni because I had a girlfriend from back home and the Uni had a free shuttle-bus service that ran from near my parents' house to my Uni. I worked as a private maths tutor and did some part-time work as a teaching assistant in a local school. I had loads of cash but in hindsight, I wish I got a flat with people from Uni.
22-24 - (Now. It's my birthday today!!!)
After Uni I moved down to London and to work for an IT consultancy firm. It's kind of half techy and half dealing with clients (presentations, meetings and all that BS). The first year was pretty lonely and I went home to see my girlfriend almost every weekend. After about a year of long term relationshipping she broke it off and I was pretty down. Luckily my friend from primary school (who I've known since I was about 4!) moved to London too and we got a flat together. To keep myself occupied (and now I see that it was a subconscious form of escapism) I started making an RPG and lately I've decided that I want to work in the games industry. I've almost finished this RPG (~14 months in the making!) and I'm hoping to distribute it later this year. If anyone's interested, let me know and I can send you the most recent version. Oh and for my third year in London, another friend from school moved down and now the 3 of us are living in a flat together and having a cracking time! Alienware laptops, PS3's, Xbox's and plenty of beer. Life's good!
You're not broken you just don't like what your seeing out of yourself, i'm also currently in that area where i see what happening and just desperately want it to stop for a second. Now onto my "story"Shoggoth2588 said:
(13) very much the out cast was kinda of a geek and had to much going on in my head to really look at life, i was very good at school and tired to to the best i could all the time often a bit more that i really should have. I had a group of friends but the more i look at it the more I see just how much they weren't, probably part of the issue where i grew up. Even at this age i had vastly different views on the world but thanks to previous years of getting picked on i had stopped talking first and started listening, a valuable tactic.
(16)I had a better group of friends now and started to nail down who i was, very very loosely and that saying the least. I was still very much quiet and reserved. This was the first year i had managed to burn myself out with all that I did between school, karate, friends, rifle, and then trying to think it all came crashing down in the from of me losing it in my 6th period class and my 7th period teacher realizing something was massively wrong. say the guidance counselor had a chat that was more awkward than any in my life. It was right around this time that I confirmed what i had know since i was about 11, I was gay. That hit a little harder that the rest as my current fears where everyone would hate me and i would be thrown out of my house, none of that happened but i never told anyone while I was in high school, till ...
(18) so i was a senior with a massive grade point average not perfect but ever since my freak out i decided school wasn't worth killing myself over. I had a good group of friends a Huge dark secret and was trying to decide what i wanted to do for the rest of my life in terms of school. and we wonder why kids are depressed. It was near the end of the year that i decided i was done hiding who was and very bravely told 1 other person. was a freaking relief when they didn't freak out on me. I was a wonderful relief and also one where I had realized i made it such a big deal, the end of the year i told my parents, mom was ok dad was enhh. sister didn't care. didn't tell my younger brother at the time. went to Germany for 3 weeks with my schools exchange program and then went off to college.
(21)In college was a massive shock at first and then i started loving being able to do what ever i wanted. around this time i hit my 21st and sad had a presentation the next day so skipped the massive party in favor for sleep, then promptly followed that up the next weekend. around this time i found someone i fell in love with been with him for almost 4 years now. My attitude had changed a lot i was much more relaxed i laughed a lot more my roommate was an awesome artist and he really kinda helped change my out look on life.
(23/now) Currently a grad with honors, still got good grades. i'm employed but have started having a complex had the path not taken, at least in my life. I'm not a huge fan of my own looks and really want to change that along with a few other things. but currently i'm good with myself and where I am I still laugh just as much and i think that's a good thing. My job is tech related which is what i changed my major to be after my first year in college. I'm currently working on me right now and then i'll probably start to try from more things in my work life.
All in all i haven't changed much slowly became more relaxed and less scared but even still i have my moments. I'll probably always think about the things I never did but that just tells me I need to do those things now. And to think i did all of this while being a furry lol.
I don't know if anyone will read this book length post at this point but there you have it. me in a nut shell
whats your story? (stolen from Guild Wars 2)
13- I was extremely quiet, and rarely spoke to anybody at school until later in the year where I met my best friend. I used to go entire school days without speaking a word to anybody, which led to a ton of anxiety that would follow me through my later years. I did have very good grades in school though, which about the only good thing when I was 13.
16- My junior year in high school. I wasn't the kind of introvert I was when I was 13, but I was still shy and didn't talk a lot unless I was around my group of 10-15 friends. I discovered my love for music at this age and started doing much better in my band class, and even got bumped up to the advanced class which felt great.
18- I was out of High school on my 18th birthday and barely graduated. My lackluster grades didn't really have an effect on me, since I scored way higher than the average score on my state testing. I got a job at a coffee shop which I don't really care for, but I do it because it means money of my own.
Now- I'm 19, looking at joining the Army, and generally happy. I'm not much of an introvert anymore and I still have my passion for music. I have a pretty optimistic attitude and what most people would consider good morals.
16- My junior year in high school. I wasn't the kind of introvert I was when I was 13, but I was still shy and didn't talk a lot unless I was around my group of 10-15 friends. I discovered my love for music at this age and started doing much better in my band class, and even got bumped up to the advanced class which felt great.
18- I was out of High school on my 18th birthday and barely graduated. My lackluster grades didn't really have an effect on me, since I scored way higher than the average score on my state testing. I got a job at a coffee shop which I don't really care for, but I do it because it means money of my own.
Now- I'm 19, looking at joining the Army, and generally happy. I'm not much of an introvert anymore and I still have my passion for music. I have a pretty optimistic attitude and what most people would consider good morals.
13: Didn't want to make friends (had two friends who were like brothers), avoided people, was often a jerk (especially online), and was very business like when dealing with people irl.
16: Trying to strengthen relationships with the group I spent time with despite not quite fitting in, avoided people outside of said group, and was very business like when dealing with people outside of said group.
18: Same.
Now (19): Spend nearly all of my time alone, but make sure to talk to friends in one way or another.
16: Trying to strengthen relationships with the group I spent time with despite not quite fitting in, avoided people outside of said group, and was very business like when dealing with people outside of said group.
18: Same.
Now (19): Spend nearly all of my time alone, but make sure to talk to friends in one way or another.