131: Games Are For Kids
- Thread starter Mark Patience
- Start date
I feel im pretty lucky after Reading this.
All my friends are heavy gamers who I am able to talk too about upcoming Releases.
My Family is accepting of my gaming hobbie, My Brother is Even more into games than me (Knight Templar)
And my Girlfriend is a gamer too, which works well. She teases my 360 and I tease her Wii, She Calls Halo a mindless kill everything Game, And i Call Zelda Tripe (All in Fun Mind you). Everyone's happy.
I Gotta say though, Portal is save anywhere, so that Problem could have been avoided.
All my friends are heavy gamers who I am able to talk too about upcoming Releases.
My Family is accepting of my gaming hobbie, My Brother is Even more into games than me (Knight Templar)
And my Girlfriend is a gamer too, which works well. She teases my 360 and I tease her Wii, She Calls Halo a mindless kill everything Game, And i Call Zelda Tripe (All in Fun Mind you). Everyone's happy.
I Gotta say though, Portal is save anywhere, so that Problem could have been avoided.
Unfortunately for me, I can't use this line with my mother because to her, I am a gaming addict. Yet despite having worked in healthcare in the past she acts disgusted at me for being so rude as to show withdrawal symptoms (her words, not mine) when she forcibly denies me access to video games. And I'm 23! What do I do? She looks down her nose at me the same way when I get excited about tabletop RPG's!Mark Patience said:
To add insult to injury, my parents don't accept when I tell them it's a hobby. They say it's an addiction and it's hurting me. I'm a college student at CC! Would she rather have her son up all hours drinking beer? I show her the info about gamers like Fata1ity and she just scoffs and says, "he needs to get a life." To my mom, being into gaming is no better than being a drug addict. I can't win! Even though she's addicted to Tetris and Solitaire herself! It wasn't until I was able to show her the Mayan Ruin based Lost World level in Sonic Adventure on my Dreamcast and point out its similarities to the second National Treasure movie (a series which she loves) that she started to show signs of thinking my choice of hobbies may not be so bad after all.
Not sexism, it is rather annoyance at the girlfriend, who is clearly a person who is both inconsiderate, verbally abusive of his way of life, shockingly selfish AND a huge hypocrite.Dom Camus said:
The person in question is female, thus making negative comments about her "sexist".
(Man, I could go on about sexism. Believe me, I could. That new show about the successive girls who drink a lot and talk trash about men? Cashmere mafia or something like that? Imagine if it was about guys drinking a lot and talking trash about girls. Good god, how sexist. Just because the subject happens to be a girl doesn't mean it's sexist to talk negatively about her.
Sexism is crude comments like "women belong naked in the kitchen", or jokes like "What's a woman? A life-support system for a vagina". Pointing out personality flaws in a person is NOT sexist just because she happens to have breasts!)
i dont think the problem is games are for kids, it seems more like playing more than enough games is "geeky" or "sad" and doesnt matter about sex, 'tho the majority of games are directed at guys with the need to blow things up so there are less women interested in gaming.
I'v had more guys mock me for playing games than women have, and these are guys that think videogames are sad but football is in no way homoerotic...
I'v had more guys mock me for playing games than women have, and these are guys that think videogames are sad but football is in no way homoerotic...
Would you say it may even be over.... 9000?Dom Camus said:
Okay, in all seriousness, while on some levels I do feel with the writer, it felt a lot less like a thought out article and more like a rant inspired by an argument with his girlfriend. I have gotten to the point in my life where the disapproval of my hobbies by the unwashed masses are background white noise. When it comes from family, I just sort of shrug it off. Every family has something to argue about. I'm lucky the worst I have to worry about is the amount of time I spend on games.
Geek is as geek always has been and geek always will be. Geek is not socially acceptable. Geek is ridiculed. Geek is socially inferior. You just gotta choose what side of the line you are on and hold it.
I strictly believe that gaming is for all ages, as well. Although many people think it otherwise, if you look at a lot of games for the 360, you wouldn't see a ten year old playing it. My grandmother got the Sega for me when I was younger, and I was constantly addicted to the Aladdin, and Pinocchio video games. My mother thinks I pay too much attention to video games, which I do, but my father is constantly with his tennis, or flying games, which I like being with him once he sits down. We've even played Halo together. So it really doesn't matter what age, but it's all on your view points really...
As a girl gamer, I have gotten it even worse from my family, especially my mother. I have heard "I thought only boys played video games" countless times by her, and she has yet to accept that I take part in what a lot of people view as a male-only hobby. My family calls me strange because I am so wrapped up in "something TEENAGE BOYS are supposed do, let alone a young woman." I not only get the "When are you going to grow out of this?" but also the "When are you going to grow out of this; you're not even some dumb guy!" Thus, I can completely feel the author and his complaints about family and female friends ridiculing and failing to empathize.
However, though I share a video game passion as great or greater than my boyfriend's (in fact, we both worked at EB Games at one point), I definitely get irritated when a game takes priority over me at important moments. No one likes to be ignored or feel inferior to a virtual soccer field or Portal puzzle. Especially if the game could be saved at any time, or if the game could just be left on while we go across the street to eat dinner.
So I really understand the author's girlfriend getting annoyed when, just as she arrives, she's told to "wait a few minutes, I'm almost done." I'd be even more annoyed if I was told to paint my nails in the meanwhile, as if there's a rule that says all (or any) women carry a spare bottle of nail polish in their purse at all times, just in case they need to occupy themselves while being bored. If you knew when she was arriving, you'd be able to judge whether or not there's enough time to get sucked into that kind of game and be done before she comes so you can be ready to spend time with her. It'd be like you driving to her house only to find out she decided to start a movie or, if you like, do a full manicure and pedicure set while she waited and now you have to wait for her while she ignores you. Well, maybe you have your electric shaver with you and you can trim your beard while you're waiting.
However, though I share a video game passion as great or greater than my boyfriend's (in fact, we both worked at EB Games at one point), I definitely get irritated when a game takes priority over me at important moments. No one likes to be ignored or feel inferior to a virtual soccer field or Portal puzzle. Especially if the game could be saved at any time, or if the game could just be left on while we go across the street to eat dinner.
So I really understand the author's girlfriend getting annoyed when, just as she arrives, she's told to "wait a few minutes, I'm almost done." I'd be even more annoyed if I was told to paint my nails in the meanwhile, as if there's a rule that says all (or any) women carry a spare bottle of nail polish in their purse at all times, just in case they need to occupy themselves while being bored. If you knew when she was arriving, you'd be able to judge whether or not there's enough time to get sucked into that kind of game and be done before she comes so you can be ready to spend time with her. It'd be like you driving to her house only to find out she decided to start a movie or, if you like, do a full manicure and pedicure set while she waited and now you have to wait for her while she ignores you. Well, maybe you have your electric shaver with you and you can trim your beard while you're waiting.
Ok I think its about time I had a say in this..I have absolutely no problem with Mark playing games and admittedly I have passed it off as "childish" in the past, which was wrong of me, but games for Mark over the years has been, nothing short of an obsession.
By all means, have a hobby, I dont have to share your views on it, but when it comes to having to hear about all the latest games, reviews on games and want me to watch demonstration after demonstration, when I only come down once a week, its not very fair.
We only see each other once during the week and therefore, I feel the time was spend is precious. You know I do take an interest, but driving 40 miles to see you, doesnt constitute watching you play games!
In summary, I can appreciate why anyone has an interest in games, heck I had a MSX when I was a kid and appreciate how technology has moved out and yes, I have a DS, but everything in moderation.
By all means, have a hobby, I dont have to share your views on it, but when it comes to having to hear about all the latest games, reviews on games and want me to watch demonstration after demonstration, when I only come down once a week, its not very fair.
We only see each other once during the week and therefore, I feel the time was spend is precious. You know I do take an interest, but driving 40 miles to see you, doesnt constitute watching you play games!
In summary, I can appreciate why anyone has an interest in games, heck I had a MSX when I was a kid and appreciate how technology has moved out and yes, I have a DS, but everything in moderation.
Mark Patience, hi 
In your situation, I would have just exited the game immediately. Portal won't run away, while your girlfriend can. Heck, you can even use the experience gathered so far to blaze through the earlier parts of Portal with new strategies later on!
There's not much that can be done, I'm afraid. An incredible majority of people grow up playing games as children, then have to take on responsibilities (relationship, marriage, family, etc) and games are discarded in favour of "serious" activities (i.e. playing the serious game of "life" where you have one life, zero continues and a continually ramping difficulty level.
As such, when hearing the words "video game" (emphasis on "game"), that large majority automatically and strongly associates them with "childhood", and thus they experience a mental conflict: they clearly see an adult person partaking in a "game", which they believe is reserved solely for children or family parties when everyone had something to drink. This association is reinforced by the fact that it's always the children that ask for the video games. Everywhere, people are getting video games for their kids for christmas.
It is very difficut to get rid of this association, since most people don't have much of a choice in life - they HAVE to take on responsibilities and they don't have the luxury of "gaming". The word "game" simply has that strong an effect. All we can do is be patient and wait for the masses to change. For that to happen, new associations with the words "video game" have to be made. For example, maybe people will start to see it as a "sport" (seeing TV reports on professional video gaming may be a good start), or "hobby", even. Or, video games transcend their generally low quality storytelling and give the adult gamer some real adult content other than cheap gore, sex, cursing and violence. Something with the impact of "Animal Farm", say, but in video game form.
But yeah, right now, a "video game" is for "the kids". Until then, we are in the privileged position of witnessing just how the public opinion on video games will evolve over the coming years. Let's hope it ends up in the right place.
In your situation, I would have just exited the game immediately. Portal won't run away, while your girlfriend can. Heck, you can even use the experience gathered so far to blaze through the earlier parts of Portal with new strategies later on!
There's not much that can be done, I'm afraid. An incredible majority of people grow up playing games as children, then have to take on responsibilities (relationship, marriage, family, etc) and games are discarded in favour of "serious" activities (i.e. playing the serious game of "life" where you have one life, zero continues and a continually ramping difficulty level
.As such, when hearing the words "video game" (emphasis on "game"), that large majority automatically and strongly associates them with "childhood", and thus they experience a mental conflict: they clearly see an adult person partaking in a "game", which they believe is reserved solely for children or family parties when everyone had something to drink. This association is reinforced by the fact that it's always the children that ask for the video games. Everywhere, people are getting video games for their kids for christmas.
It is very difficut to get rid of this association, since most people don't have much of a choice in life - they HAVE to take on responsibilities and they don't have the luxury of "gaming". The word "game" simply has that strong an effect. All we can do is be patient and wait for the masses to change. For that to happen, new associations with the words "video game" have to be made. For example, maybe people will start to see it as a "sport" (seeing TV reports on professional video gaming may be a good start), or "hobby", even. Or, video games transcend their generally low quality storytelling and give the adult gamer some real adult content other than cheap gore, sex, cursing and violence. Something with the impact of "Animal Farm", say, but in video game form.
But yeah, right now, a "video game" is for "the kids". Until then, we are in the privileged position of witnessing just how the public opinion on video games will evolve over the coming years. Let's hope it ends up in the right place.
Geez, I hope you don't end up marrying her. She's chronically late and doesn't respect your interests, and you're passively-aggressively expressing your irritation by making her wait for you while you play games. It sounds like you have no respect for each other! Good luck, mang.
I enjoyed this article because much of which i could relate to. I love to say there is a easy way around it... but there simply isn't. No matter how much i try to convince my girlfriend that games are NOT only for kids, there are plenty of people out there with full time jobs with family who play video games. There is no reason why you can't wait for me to get to a safe spot to save, i mean what? its 2 minutes of YOUR life that YOUR wasting... how about the countless times i have waited for you to re-dress or touch on the makeup.
So anyway i told her to play my games for a while, World of Warcraft , she loved it instantly. It was a miracle despite her anti-games nature she was sucked into this fantasy world. I went out and got a second copy of the game and i played on my laptop. Now we spend most nights together playing wow. It's great. We have a new topic to talk about never been as happy now as I ever was.
So anyway i told her to play my games for a while, World of Warcraft , she loved it instantly. It was a miracle despite her anti-games nature she was sucked into this fantasy world. I went out and got a second copy of the game and i played on my laptop. Now we spend most nights together playing wow. It's great. We have a new topic to talk about never been as happy now as I ever was.
is it me or are people ignoring his supposed fiancee replied to this topic? Allthough i should be skeptical it is her, this is still the internets, she did say something for being together for about 6 years.
Oh yes, I get more than a bit of that from my mom. I think she's come to accept that there's always going to be a portable gaming system in my purse, and that I'm going to be catching Pokemon or solving puzzles during dull moments. However, I know she'd still rather I play less World of Warcraft, and spend more time out trying to land myself a guy so her little Lampdevil can go pop out a few lightbulbs and finally "grow up".Saria the Cat said:
My dad is infinitely more understanding, because HE'S a gamer, too. I think there's a double-standard in here, somewhere, from my mom...
If it's not the perception that games are for kids (ie. your 8 year old nephew or what have you) it's that games are for maladjusted pimply teenage deviants. I think there's an attitude shift coming, what with the Wii and the DS and all those great casual games, where games ARE actually a thing that adults do... at least, some games. Train your brain! But uh, all this other stuff is still CHILDISH... feh.
I would also like to say that I love how this article has taken on a whole new depth of meaning and discussion, just by that 'nice' relationship anecdote. While in the generic, yes, I'd be happy to wait for my boyfriend's "five more minutes" if I was a little late.... what's to say that the "five more minutes" promise was one that's been broken before? Or possibly that she'd had a hard day, was angry about an assortment of other things, and all the irritation just came leaking out at an inconvenient target? Her response may have been stinging, but at its core it's less about videogames themselves and more about perception and communication.
Also, RE: paint your nails, nailpolish takes time to dry and it's smelly and inconsiderate to be whipping out willy-nilly and SERIOUSLY, wtf? I may just fail a bit as a female, but nail-painting is not my idea of a proper time-killer.
I was sort of wondering the same thing. Perhaps it was a polite... averting of the eyes? Because now the gloves are off, the gauntlet is thrown down, and SOMEONE ain't gonna be gettin' any for a looooong time.hickwarrior said:
I am very, very, very, very, very happy to say that things are changing. I'll give 3 instances.
One female work colleague of mine is as computer game crazy as I. She's more all-rounded because she reads and watches the odd film as well, whilst I replace reading with more films and games.
Anyway, I was amazed when asking what she would be doing throughout her weekend only for her to grab my attention by blurting out she'd be playing co-op on Balder's Gate for 48hrs with her boyfriend. This woman is 19.
The second happened just earlier today. Another woman at my workplace, probably around her 30s but I won't ask because she plays rugby, was speaking to me about a film that she saw called 'I Am Legend' and how the story was a let down. She then mentioned that it reminded her of another film - Silent Hill the Movie.
Now before I could open my gob and tell her in a very geeky fashion that I hated it because I'm a massive fan of the games, she beat me to it. She then went on to tell me that she'd just completed SH4 and the story was pretty darn good and convinced me to take another crack at it.
She also forced her husband to buy her a Wii for Christmas.
Speaking of which my mum plays the Wii more than I play on my PC. This Saturday I decided to pay her a visit only to find she'd been playing Mario Party 8 from 5pm to 2am! And to think she used to ground me for doing that
Times are indeed rapidly changing indeed.
One female work colleague of mine is as computer game crazy as I. She's more all-rounded because she reads and watches the odd film as well, whilst I replace reading with more films and games.
Anyway, I was amazed when asking what she would be doing throughout her weekend only for her to grab my attention by blurting out she'd be playing co-op on Balder's Gate for 48hrs with her boyfriend. This woman is 19.
The second happened just earlier today. Another woman at my workplace, probably around her 30s but I won't ask because she plays rugby, was speaking to me about a film that she saw called 'I Am Legend' and how the story was a let down. She then mentioned that it reminded her of another film - Silent Hill the Movie.
Now before I could open my gob and tell her in a very geeky fashion that I hated it because I'm a massive fan of the games, she beat me to it. She then went on to tell me that she'd just completed SH4 and the story was pretty darn good and convinced me to take another crack at it.
She also forced her husband to buy her a Wii for Christmas.
Speaking of which my mum plays the Wii more than I play on my PC. This Saturday I decided to pay her a visit only to find she'd been playing Mario Party 8 from 5pm to 2am! And to think she used to ground me for doing that
Times are indeed rapidly changing indeed.
Luckily for me, my parents have casually encouraged my gaming, seeing as I had a brother who also enjoyed it and my sister used to play. They bought the first PC we had supposedly for work but buying a formula 1 game and a joystick (I know that sounds silly now but oh well) doesn't suggest that. Most girlfriends have been accepting, not interested but not bothered either. All the bother I've had is around exam times and encouragement to keep it at a sensible level, which might not work now Im out in the world but I like to think has made me considerate of what others might want to do (not suggesting anyone here isn't). I only game on the PC (odd maybe, but thats me) so saving midgame isn't an issue, which is inevitably the response to someone desiring to go out (although I normally push the time as far as I can).
My parents reckon that I need to stop my gaming (you know, studies and all), but, after my constant badgering, they know that gaming is for all ages, so they don't call me on that.
Anyways, to the OP: It seems like your girlfriend was impatient, not that she though gaming is only for kids (unless she always says games are for kids). Well, look at the bright side: gaming is becoming more mainstream (which is actually debatable), and you don't hide your gaming (unfortunately, there's an article on this topic on The Escapist).
- A procrastinator
Anyways, to the OP: It seems like your girlfriend was impatient, not that she though gaming is only for kids (unless she always says games are for kids). Well, look at the bright side: gaming is becoming more mainstream (which is actually debatable), and you don't hide your gaming (unfortunately, there's an article on this topic on The Escapist).
- A procrastinator