Danbo Jambo said:
I'm assuming that you serve or have served in such an environment? But you are right, they're based on third part hearsay.
Can you please describe further what laws there are/aren't regards male/female relations on board? Does much actually go off, and is it encouraged, discouraged or neither?
also, I'm really struggling to believe you aren't trained to asert yourself. Just look at your post - asertive and dominant. Be interested to hear why you don't think that's the case.
Outside of things that are specific to each gender such as uniform/hygiene regulation, there aren't really any regulations specific about male/female relations that I'm aware of. The ones that DO exist are primarily concerned about relations between officer/enlisted, NCO/Non-NCO etc. Basically it's there to protect against fraternization. In other words, as long as you're not too far apart on the rank (ie. a Captain and a Corporal, or Staff Sergeant and a PFC etc.), or be in the same chain of command (Platoon Sergeant and someone in the same platoon), or are already married (adultery is a crime under the UCMJ), what you do on your own time is your own business. Heck, sometimes you can find married couples in the same unit.
Where people can get into trouble is if they violate those things I listed above. It really depends on your command still though, sometimes they'll let things slide unless it becomes too obvious where they have no choice but to take action.
As for the rest, it's pretty much like what PaulH said. What's important is discipline and ability to follow orders, do your job and work with others. There may indeed be a bunch of alpha dogs running around, they may even hate each other's guts. But when the fire starts coming downrange, that all goes away. You're going to watch his back, and he's going to watch yours, and the only "asserting" that's going to be done is from the one who's giving the orders, whether it be the platoon commander or just a fire team leader. Sure, you can speak up(in appropriate time and place) if you thing a mistake is being made, but you sure as hell aren't going to be asserting to your Sergeant on what to do. By the same token, I don't need to be assertive or dominant when telling my men what to do. When I tell Lance Corporal Joe that he needs to square away his room and clean that head, I can tell him in the same casual tone of voice as I would to my friends, but I'd still fully expect him to follow my order.
There's no training the troops to assert themselves. You'll probably gain more confidence, but that's just from repeated honing of your craft. The rest is just each individual's personality. There are the "assertive" ones, and then there are the "quiet" ones, but ultimately what's respected is how well you can do your job, and if you're in a leadership position, how well you know your stuff and lead your troops, and that's always been true in my 10 yrs in the USMC.