14 Things Video Games have taught us...

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

Don't drink and drive [GTA4], because it's a nightmare to get anywhere.

Also, if they are from Russia, chances are they are trying to take over the world.

 

[ScarlettRage]

looting the bodies of people who are dead or unconscious is perfectly acceptable and is rewarded

You can make someone fall in love with you by flexing and farting in front of them for half an hour.
-Fable

1. The cake is a lie.
2. If you die, restart. That way you don't get any penalties.

that you can steal cars and kill people to your hearts content if you can keep your wanted level down

if you do a swan dive off a diving borad then you will die
- sims busting out
killing monks with a golf club is fun
- gta (i can't remember which one)
don't crash into walls
- mario kart wii
grabing vairous idems will make mario transform (raccon, frog, the fire mario, the one with the cape etc)
- whatever games those were lol
a whole herd of peace sims are not recomended
- perfect dark
Csi games on the wii are impossible
- CSI hardcore evidence
rabbids are awesome
- raman raving rabbids 2
the wii fit is impossible
-wii fit
blowing up heilcopters with a rocket laucher is fun
- gta(vise city?)
and, peanut guns are awesome
- DK 64
i have 14 (inculding quotes)

can i have a cookie?

 

[EMFCRACKSHOT]

looting the bodies of people who are dead or unconscious is perfectly acceptable and is rewarded

You can make someone fall in love with you by flexing and farting in front of them for half an hour.
-Fable

1. The cake is a lie.
2. If you die, restart. That way you don't get any penalties.

that you can steal cars and kill people to your hearts content if you can keep your wanted level down

if you do a swan dive off a diving borad then you will die
- sims busting out
killing monks with a golf club is fun
- gta (i can't remember which one)
don't crash into walls
- mario kart wii
grabing vairous idems will make mario transform (raccon, frog, the fire mario, the one with the cape etc)
- whatever games those were lol
a whole herd of peace sims are not recomended
- perfect dark
Csi games on the wii are impossible
- CSI hardcore evidence
rabbids are awesome
- raman raving rabbids 2
the wii fit is impossible
-wii fit
blowing up heilcopters with a rocket laucher is fun
- gta(vise city?)
and, peanut guns are awesome
- DK 64
i have 14 (inculding quotes)

can i have a cookie?

Yes, you can have a cookie

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/2009/06/chocolate_chip_cookie.jpg

 

[Soxafloppin]

If one person takes on an army...But that One person is Hella-cool and strong. Army is going to get its ass kicked.

 

[Gather]

The Seals must be destroyed to protect our Fish
-Overlord 2

 

[xplay3r]

1)hiding behind a wodden table is a bad idea because bullets will make them break. HOWEVER hiding behind hay stacks can shield you from grenades, machine guns, and fire. (brothers in arms hells highway)

2)if you get shoot someone in the head the entire world slows down and all you can see is the persons head exploding in slow motion (various)

3)screaming at someone until there head explodes is preferable to shooting them with a shot gun, or even smacking them in the head violently with a lead pipe (condemed 2)

4)when you jump you legs do not move your gravity simply becomes reversed for a second and then you land on the ground again (almost all fps's)

5)spinning really fast next to a crate of TNT is a bad idea, jumping ontop of it simply makes it count down and then explode once you a fair distance away. stay away from nitro though even looking at it funny can make it discentigrate everything near it. (crash bandicoot)

6)if you ever use a crobar as a weapon the proper way is to hold it stiffly cocked behind you're head and when coming close to an enemy swing it in one line repeatedly until they fall over (half-life)

7)people will do ANYTHING for you if you just say "would you kindly..." (bioshock)

8)saving every five steps you take is a relitivly smart idea.

9)vending machines automaticly know what guns you have because they will only have ammo for the guns you have or are about to get. (bioshock)

10)cops drive like complete idiots and will crash into everything thats in a 30 ft' radius. eveyone else in your city drives like idiots to and think the proper way to shake hands is by hittinh you with there car and steping out to say hi. (all GTA's)

11)punting zombie midgets into other zombies is fun. Punting zombie midgets into fans so the respawn and you can do it again is hilarious. Punting zombie midgets into small spaces so they can solve puzzles is not so funny but still fun (evil dead : regeneration)

12)no matter how many brightlights you have on your suit, and in dead quite if your boss is screaming in your ear the enemys cant's find or hear you if you walk very slowly and are in a moderatly dark area

13)you can kill somebody with a napkin, a spork, or even a cigrette butt if you have to (manhunt)

14)when your on a quest for something all normal bodily fuctions go away. you no longer need to deficate, urinate, sneeze, cough, eat, sleep, scratch, sweat, shower, or wash your clothes. Your always clean or the same level of dirty as always. Also your hair automatic stays in a the same shape no matter how many times you get shot at, roll around, jump around, run, or take hats/helmets on or off. It's concret into place.

 

[Eatspeeple]

Any severity of radiation poisoning can be cured by having a syringe brought into your field of view, tapped twice, and then taken away again.
-Fallout 3
Being stabbed in the chest, slashed in the stomach 20+ times, shot and burned all at the same time can be recovered from with a bit of gentle encouragement from a friend.
-Left 4 Dead
If the person you are talking to suddenly bursts into flames, then dies, and you can see the person who did it, don't do anything
-Overlord 2
If you wake up one morning to find your home has been completely re-decorated, it is nothing to be surprised at
-Sims 3
If you have a camera for a head your friends will allow you to use the anti tank rpg, ALWAYS
-CoD:WaW
That L4D one actually happened to me

 

[xplay3r]

having pink hair in a ponytail and having green shorts makes you be able to jumo very hgh and you'll be very agile, being able to swing on things jumo and grab onto things, and slide down flat 90 degree surfess. however you must yell "YA!!!" in a premature voice evrytime your you leave the ground.....damb it...am i the ONLY one who played tomba?

 

[masterkeaton]

That The Nine Divines are Boring, Daedra Aren't

From Good 'Ol Oblivion

 

[Delicious]

Don't Teamkill.

This is a valuable lesson.

In single player games, everyone is more talkative and stupid than you are.

Coincidence? I think not!

 

[L24z13L]

Even the most random of creatures carry cash and useful items.(Mostly Final Fantasy)

 

[klakkat]

Turnips are awesome.
- Baldur's Gate 2

Nice.

Sentient weapons, while entertaining, are more trouble than they're worth.
Never enter the zombie apocalypse without a good supply of explosives and pain pills.
Loot EVERYTHING. Don't respect the dead to do so. Trust me, they'll understand, you need the loot.
Cover is your friend, but make sure it isn't explosive first.
If you have the option of using a rocket launcher, DO SO. It is always worth the weight.
Walls are indestructible. Except when they suddenly aren't.
It is never a good idea to start any self-destruct sequence.
It is always a good idea to set off large explosions, provided you planted it or it was not supposed to explode.
If you can get PC allies, never go anywhere alone. If you can get NPC allies, always go everywhere alone.
If you have a short attention span, don't bother setting any traps.
Someone will fall for even the most obvious trap.
Even in the Apocalypse the entertainment industry thrives.
Power armor never increases your mobility. However, it never hinders it either.
No matter what armor you're wearing, you can still be killed.
No matter what gun you have, there is an enemy that can take more than a dozen shots from it.
The only guarantee for survival is having more medkits than a major hospital.

 

[PartyMonkey]

Getting shot in the head 5 times does not neccesarily mean you will die.
Even in a war zone you can still die and respawn with no pshysical damage.
Good will always over come evil...Even if evil does have awesomely good armour which afterwards you can loot from it.
Looting will always be better after the enemy has died and not before...Or you get shot at by some very angry tenpenny guards.

 

[PartyMonkey]

Oh and you will always find copper ores in high places.

 

[The Bandit]

14. Women with massive breasts can function perfectly agilely and are protected by a mystical force that allows them to wear little to no protection and still come out fights unscathed... except for more ripped clothes.
13. Internet fan fiction based Rule 34 has no limits.
12. People are actually made of squishy goo that explodes into messy chunks if they get shot even once.
11. Spiky hair and a whiny emo attitude are required to be an adventurer, also giant swords are completely valid and in no way a burden.
10. The world is either grey-brown and heavily detailed or brightly coloured and less detailed depending on the mood of the designer
9. It'll be a long time before aliens and humans can ever completely settle their differences.
8. Genocide is perfectly acceptable as long as we can also label them 'bad guys'. Y6ou can be a goody who kills animals and innocents as long as we just say 'they are evil because they are different'.
7. People are very resistant to bullet damage.
6. Death is never the end.
5. If you add a slight sex scene into your game, you can effectivley distract the media and concerned parents about the violence in your game.
4. Any attempt to show love and passion or emotion, grief or any deep emotional development will be panned by the masses who no longer care for human emotion and want violence and tits.
3. ANY game will sell provided that you show off the 'MA 15+' rating.
2. There will never, ever, ever, ever be room for peace and the internet will forever be bashing each other over what is best by way of personal preferance.

And finally:

1. Games will always be a great blame figure to be used as a scapegoat to distract the world from it's real social issues.

You're pretty funny. You'd probably like Yahtzee's videos.

 

[The Political Gamer]

Press X to not die.

 

[Radu889]

Overlord 2 taught me that baby seals are trully evil and that they can see through souls.



... And that elves are never to be trusted with anything.

 

[Merteg]

1.) You are the son of the main villian/mentor character.

2.) The mentor character will die/turn evil.

3.) The police will forget you killed everyone if you leave that section of the city.

4.) ...... Screw it, I'm gonna go play Dark Messiah.

 

[dragonflygirl]

if u have some naked scence(s) and sexual innuendo it will make things Controversial and if its Controversial u dont actually need a plot. the same will go for films