Who's Ready for The Emoji Movie?

[Marter]

Who's Ready for The Emoji Movie?

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Because this is what cinema needs.

There is a movie about emojis [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/tag/view/emoji] coming to cinemas in 2017. Despite our best efforts, we could not stop it. Today, we got the first teaser trailer for the film - and it is, to put it bluntly, probably the worst teaser trailer ever, with the possible exception of the teaser trailers that tease the teaser trailers.

In it, an emoji tells us that there is a movie coming. He says he's excited but he's monotonous. Humor! That's basically it. There's also a brief snippet of a scene in which there is a poop joke. If the filmmakers were trying to make those who already didn't hate this idea hate it, then mission accomplished.

The director is Eric Siegel [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/tag/view/anthony+leondis], whose previous writing credits include six episodes of television and nothing else.

The Emoji Movie is scheduled to hit theaters on August 4, 2017.

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[Weaver]

I wanted to make an ironic shitpost with only emojis but I don't think these forums support them.

I don't think this movie should have been made nor do I know the demographic it's actually for.

 

[Timedraven 117]

Whoever green lit this movie for production either has some serious balls, or amazing job security, because if I learned of this I'd fire the person in a heart beat for wasting company funds.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

I.

Am.

Ready.***

***(To read your review and save myself the cash and sanity at your expense in time, sanity and...negative...money?)

Wait, what exact efforts were put into stopping this? I need full timetables and receipts of all nefarious activities.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

Lets hope this finally puts the nail in the coffin that is the whole "Kids like trendy hip things, yo dawg!" mass marketing schlockfest 50 year old studio execs think is cool with teens.
Hate to see it go, but here's hoping Sony Pictures spends all their money on this tanker, and goes under.

 

[RJ 17]

This is another example of why I've lost so much faith in humanity, and here's why.

1: Two dick-nuggets came up with this idea.
2: This idea was constructed and drawn out enough to create a pitch.
3: This pitch was presented to studio executives.
4: These studio executives green-lit the project.

 

[MCerberus]

I look forward to the inevitable cinema snob review

 

[Igor-Rowan]

If this movie is set in portrait mode like this, I'm putting this in my top 10 worst movies ever, I am not holding any punches here.

I just love how Chloe from Life is Strange is in this movie, good people will know why.

 

[Palindromemordnilap_v1legacy]

Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Who must be sundered with infernal pitchforks so that this whole effort will stop?

 

[Rot Krieg]

Welp, movies are officially dead.

 

[Borty The Bort]

I...I have no words. I've seen some weird things in my life, I thought that the whole Lesbian Tracer thing was gonna be the highlight of the day, but... Good God...

 

[dreng3]

I'm guessing this is part of a conspiracy by some group of directors and publishers/distributor to flood the market with extraordinarily shitty movies, forcing reviewers to sit through hours and hours of garbage until they lose the will to live, following which people will have no idea which movies are shitty or not without shelling out to see them in person.

 

[Wrex Brogan]

...you know, this movie would've been infinitely better if they'd gone live-action, and just have all the emoji's be regular people wearing an emoji shirt, and just gone whole hog on some surrealist shit. Really experiment with the format, given the ridiculousness of the opening idea.

But no, they went with a shitty, uninspired animated film with fuck-awful character designs. Such a waste.

 

[09philj]

Today, we got the first teaser trailer for the film - and it is, to put it bluntly, probably the worst teaser trailer ever, with the possible exception of the teaser trailers that tease the teaser trailers.

How does it feel to be an art critic living in a world where both this and Norm of the North exist?

 

[Auron225]

If this movie is set in portrait mode like this, I'm putting this in my top 10 worst movies ever, I am not holding any punches here.

I just love how Chloe from Life is Strange is in this movie, good people will know why.

For the exact reason of the first thing you said (which I agree with), I'm far more appalled that they dared to put Chloe into this thing than I am amused by it. I understand the joke, but the sheer fact that people are going to associate her with this steaming pile of trash is sickening.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

Well, they're really scraping the bottom of the creative barrel with this one. I eagerly await to see what the first person to review this trash has to say.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

This is one of those movies where I look at it and say "I can't believe they actually made this!" Now where's my facedesk emoji.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

...Wow.

Just wow.

Someone signed off on this? Man, I REALLY hope it does terrible. Because going by that teaser trailer, it does not deserve to make money. x_x

 

[gigastar]

Welp, movies are officially dead.

Not until the necromancers at Disney pull it back up with Marvel and Star Wars.

Probably be more accurate to say that Sony Pictues Entertainment needs to keel over and die.

 

[Arnoxthe1]

Maybe it's a trick... Like a little after the beginning, it'll do a total 180 and have a huge ass fucking twist. Holy hell, that would be brilliant.