The Team Fortress 2 Announcer Lady Gets Mad

Keane Ng

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Sep 11, 2008
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The Team Fortress 2 Announcer Lady Gets Mad



Team Fortress 2 cheaters, you may have dodged Valve's Anti-Cheat software, but you have incurred the wrath of someone far more fearsome: the imperious TF2 announcer lady, who is hereby punishing you for your misdeeds.

Anyone who's ever played Team Fortress 2 should be intimately familiar with the haughty voice [http://www.soundboard.com/sb/TWIN_SUNS.aspx] of the TF2 announcer lady, who never shows her face but is always ready to tell you that the bomb is nearing the checkpoint, that it's overtime or that "you have failed me" in the most cutting and dramatic tones possible. As far as regal sounding female announcers in multiplayer shooters go, she definitely gives the Locust Queen from Gears of War a run for her money. Especially now that she has, for the first time, decided to back her words with some serious action.

"It saddens me that despite my best efforts to instruct and better you, some of you insist on finding new ways to fail," the TF2 announcer wrote on the TF2 blog [http://www.teamfortress.com/]. She's referring to a slew of TF2 cheaters who have somehow found an explot that lets them use items with classes that usually can't wield them. "I have considered an appropriate punishment for the good-for-nothings responsible for this horrendous breach of conduct. Death, of course - but death is too good for disappointments such as these," she explained. The punishment, ultimately, will fit the crime: all cheaters will have unlockable items - special weapons unlocked via Achievements - revoked for a month.

As for the people who didn't cheat, even they can barely get a break. "You have my congratulations: I await the countless other ways you will inevitably disappoint me in the future," the announcer declared. Yeesh. Talk about hard to please.

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RogueDarkJedi

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Dec 28, 2008
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Just read that post, I was expecting it to be much longer. And it would have been cool if it had an audio version of her saying the post outloud.

But ouch...
 

Omnidum

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Mar 27, 2008
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RogueDarkJedi said:
Just read that post, I was expecting it to be much longer. And it would have been cool if it had an audio version of her saying the post outloud.

But ouch...
"You are breaking the rules?! How dare you!! Now go return your special arsenal!"
 

Nimbus

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Oct 22, 2008
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UNKNOWNINCOGNITO said:
I thought team fortress to was really not good
Normally I wouldn't point out things like this, but you managed to, in one post, be pointless, off-topic and use improper spelling and punctuation. Seriously, wow. I'm impressed.
 

Epifols

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Aug 30, 2008
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A 1 month suspension? Thats a slap on the wrist. Ban those mofos.

If people buy a game and play it correctly, those who ruin the game through cheats should be persecuted to the max. As I recall, Steam's cheating policy is to ban them from all multiplayer games on that account. So why this 1 month suspension bull?
 

fix-the-spade

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Feb 25, 2008
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Epifols said:
A 1 month suspension? Thats a slap on the wrist. Ban those mofos.

If people buy a game and play it correctly, those who ruin the game through cheats should be persecuted to the max. As I recall, Steam's cheating policy is to ban them from all multiplayer games on that account. So why this 1 month suspension bull?
An exploit isn't really a cheat. It's annoying yes, but it doesn't stem from altering the game's code and everyone can do it (provided they know how and the devs don't close the gap).
A full ban for using exploits would be a bit harsh.
 

Volucer

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Sep 4, 2008
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Why won't people learn, you do not go against the wishes of faceless, omnipitant voices that speak to you personally. Thankfully, all the voices in my head have faces for me to ignore.
 

ParkourMcGhee

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Jan 4, 2008
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Volucer said:
Why won't people learn, you do not go against the wishes of faceless, omnipitant voices that speak to you personally. Thankfully, all the voices in my head have faces for me to ignore.
Haha yeah. But then again what would have happened if you entered the 'party submission position' as that omnipotent, omnipresent voice from portal kindly requested?
 

oneplus999

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Oct 4, 2007
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Keane Ng said:
As far as regal sounding female announcers in multiplayer shooters go, she definitely gives the Locust Queen from Gears of War a run for her money. Especially now that she has, for the first time, decided to back her words with some serious action.
Considering that it's the same voice actress as for GLadDOS, and therefore did I'm still alive [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6ljFaKRTrI], the TF2 voice wins in my book :D
 

spuddyt

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Nov 22, 2008
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The_root_of_all_evil said:
OMG...I just realised that she's not only the Team Fortress woman but the voice of GlaDOS...and the combine overwatch.

Damn...
She wins?
 

Danny Ocean

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Jun 28, 2008
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The_root_of_all_evil said:
OMG...I just realised that she's not only the Team Fortress woman but the voice of GlaDOS...and the combine overwatch.

Damn...
We're already doomed.
 

lazerwolf

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Jan 4, 2009
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fix-the-spade said:
Epifols said:
A 1 month suspension? Thats a slap on the wrist. Ban those mofos.

If people buy a game and play it correctly, those who ruin the game through cheats should be persecuted to the max. As I recall, Steam's cheating policy is to ban them from all multiplayer games on that account. So why this 1 month suspension bull?
An exploit isn't really a cheat. It's annoying yes, but it doesn't stem from altering the game's code and everyone can do it (provided they know how and the devs don't close the gap).
A full ban for using exploits would be a bit harsh.
exploiting a bug in the game is technically cheating. sure you haven't downloaded and aimbot or a wall hack but you're still breaking the game to be better.
 

ImperialPyromancer

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Jan 3, 2008
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lazerwolf said:
exploiting a bug in the game is technically cheating. sure you haven't downloaded and aimbot or a wall hack but you're still breaking the game to be better.
Unless it's just for shits 'n' giggles, surely?

I'd like to have seen a backburner wielding engineer, or a natascha wielding scout or something.

TF2 is made for fun, not seriousness. I think even the 1 month ban is a tad harsh on people. Especially as they probably won't be able to enjoy the scout unlocks.
 

MercenaryCanary

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Mar 24, 2008
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Nimbus said:
UNKNOWNINCOGNITO said:
I thought team fortress to was really not good
Normally I wouldn't point out things like this, but you managed to, in one post, be pointless, off-topic and use improper spelling and punctuation. Seriously, wow. I'm impressed.
And, can we also call this a complete sentence? Just who is had the thought that "team fortress to" was "really not good"?
I WANT ANSWERS DAMMIT!
 

RheynbowDash

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Jan 26, 2009
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Nimbus said:
UNKNOWNINCOGNITO said:
I thought team fortress to was really not good
Normally I wouldn't point out things like this, but you managed to, in one post, be pointless, off-topic and use improper spelling and punctuation. Seriously, wow. I'm impressed.
not to mention improper grammer