Happy Birthday Spam!

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Happy Birthday Spam!

​

Thirty one years ago today, email spam came into existence. Is it really as bad as people think?

Back in 1978, Gary Thuerk [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Thuerk], an aggressive DEC marketer, believed that Arpanet (as the Internet was then) was the perfect place to promote his wares; and two days later, the first message was to be sent to 600 unwilling recipients.

Why did it take two days? Well, back at that time all the email addresses had to be typed in by hand, and the poor operator wasn't quite up to date with the current technology, so the 255 character buffer didn't get all the details in the "To" box.

Or the "Cc" box.

So it flowed off into the body, cutting short the number of recipients. Replies were as you might expect:

ON 2 MAY 78 DIGITAL EQUIPMENT CORPORATION (DEC) SENT OUT AN ARPANET MESSAGE ADVERTISING THEIR NEW COMPUTER SYSTEMS. THIS WAS A FLAGRANT VIOLATION OF THE USE OF ARPANET AS THE NETWORK IS TO BE USED FOR OFFICIAL U.S. GOVERNMENT BUSINESS ONLY. APPROPRIATE ACTION IS BEING TAKEN TO PRECLUDE ITS OCCURRENCE AGAIN.

IN ENFORCEMENT OF THIS POLICY DCA IS DEPENDENT ON THE ARPANET SPONSORS, AND HOST AND TIP LIAISONS. IT IS IMPERATIVE YOU INFORM YOUR USERS AND CONTRACTORS WHO ARE PROVIDED ARPANET ACCESS THE MEANING OF THIS POLICY.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

MAJOR RAYMOND CZAHOR

CHIEF, ARPANET MANAGEMENT BRANCH, DCA

Unfortunately that didn't quite stop the spread as today 97% of our email [http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/null/137384] is made up of adverts to "keep it up all night" or the ilk.

So, has there been any good to come out of spam? Surprisingly, one or two things.

The first being that Mr Thuerk has a place in the Guinness Book of World Records and now does "promotional work for anti-spam companies".

The second thing to emerge is artistry. With such a rich seam of words, there have been paintings [http://www.kingcosmonaut.de/spampaint/], artwork [http://www.flickr.com/photos/linzie/sets/72157602417089145/] and poetry. Or at least light verse. Which I'll share with you now.

So, it's the old spam trick: ninety-nine
new messages since you last connected.
During the scant half hour you spent offline
the tide of mail kept pouring in unchecked. It
offers strange gifts you feel you should decline,
suggests liaisons with unexpected
partners - you're promised a good time
in ways you'd never previously suspected
were possible. If you're not in your prime
they say that youth is simply resurrected
by tablets, creams or Chinese herbal wine
- any deficiency can be corrected:
"just click here".

Source: The Metro [http://theridiculant.metro.co.uk/]
Poetry used with permission from Gwyneth Box

Permalink

 

[Keane Ng]

And here I was getting ready to stick some candles in a spam loaf...

 

[Caliostro]

Happy Birthday Spam!


...Now, would you like to enlarge your penis...?

 

[SharPhoe]

And here I was getting ready to stick some candles in a spam loaf...

Awwww, me too! I like spam, I don't care what anyone else thinks.

Email spam, however... no so much. That verse is pretty kick-ass, though.

 

[Eric the Orange]

wow really, 1978? I didin't thik the internet existed in any form tell the 80s. I remember trying to set up LAN Doom maches back then.

 

[jimduckie]

spam spam SPAM i don't like SPAM but spam and eggs with hot sauce is great lol

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

I think that there must be honest people with spam-like offers out there. Like a medical company who actaully can increase your penis size, they'd be unable to reach possible customers.

This seems appropriate.

 

[oliveira8]

Man: Well, what've you got?

Woman:Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam......or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

Man:Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress:Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.

Wife:I don't want ANY spam!

Man:Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

Wife:THAT'S got spam in it!

Man:Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

 

[uppitycracker]

ugh, one b-day i will certainly not be celebrating. i'm loving gmails spam filter, and i've done a good job of keeping this email address from getting hit too bad by the ads, but yeah, yet another thing the world would be so much better without...

 

[Lord Krunk]

ugh, one b-day i will certainly not be celebrating. i'm loving gmails spam filter, and i've done a good job of keeping this email address from getting hit too bad by the ads, but yeah, yet another thing the world would be so much better without...

I agree. Gmail is brilliant for getting rid of those pesky things, not like that Hotmail.

As for spam, it was bound to happen, no matter how soon or late it came out. I believe it was one of the first incidences of a famous Internet catch-cry: Report and Move On.

I wouldn't really be celebrating its existence though.

 

[ix_tab]

Oh spam. I haven't seen any of it since I signed on with gmail, but sometimes I miss the marriage offers from Robert in Italy.

I don't know why, but that was my most received spam message when I used hotmail.

 

[cleverlymadeup]

spam spam spam spam SPAM SPAM SPAM

i think you should have used this clip instead

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE

 

[BadGadgit]

Man: Well, what've you got?

Woman:Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam......or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

Man:Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress:Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.

Wife:I don't want ANY spam!

Man:Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

Wife:THAT'S got spam in it!

Man:Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

Spam Spam Spam Spam
Spam Spam Spam Spam
lovely spam! wonderful spam!

 

[The Shade]

Oddly enough, I hardly get any spam. Like, probably less than five spam emails ever.

Lucky me. *knock on wood*

 

[cainx10a]

Man: Well, what've you got?

Woman:Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam......or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

Man:Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress:Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.

Wife:I don't want ANY spam!

Man:Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

Wife:THAT'S got spam in it!

Man:Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

Was that from Monty Python? If so, bless those english men

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

spam spam spam spam SPAM SPAM SPAM

i think you should have used this clip instead

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE

I used that one for the name and shame sites [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/89206-Top-Ten-Spam-Sites-Named-and-Shamed-Updated], can't have repeats, can I?

 

[oliveira8]

Man: Well, what've you got?

Woman:Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam......or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

Man:Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress:Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.

Wife:I don't want ANY spam!

Man:Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

Wife:THAT'S got spam in it!

Man:Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

Was that from Monty Python? If so, bless those english men

Yes it is. ^^ I cuted the Viking parts.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

I miss the marriage offers from Robert in Italy.

I don't know why, but that was my most received spam message when I used hotmail.

That wasn't spam, that was me!

*Runs away sobbing and crying, for there is no cure for a broken heart*