Science!: Panda Feces, Tequila and Cows

[Lauren Admire]

Science!: Panda Feces, Tequila and Cows

Are panda feces the answer to our waste problems? Why don't pregnant women fall over more? Answers inside!

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[grey_painter]

We were taught about Pandas in our Biology degree. The one fact our prof told us, and told us we'd never forget even if the rest of the degree was forgotten, was that pandas poop 48 pounds a day. 4 years on and thats still the clearest thing I can remember about my university education.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

"After 60 years, I looked at my knuckles and there's not the slightest sign of arthritis. I looked up to the heavens and said: 'Mother, you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong.'"

He just beat out the guy who proved that your face really won't stick that way forever.

Take THAT, Mom!

More seriously, that thing about the bacteria in panda poop: Could be an excellent way to help deal with common household waste, AND encourage plant growth as well.

 

[lord pickle]

Sweet zombie jesus. I had no idea there was a spoof Nobel prize. Actually some of these ideas are better than the ones that give people "real" Nobels. That idea about using a bra as a couple of gas masks is a wicked cool idea.

A couple of things come to mind:

1. Did the beer bottle guys figure out or know how much energy a person delivers when you swing a bottle at someone's skull?
2. How quickly do normal bacteria that break down garbage compare to these five types of bacteria in Panda poop?
3. The extra curved spine would have to allow for walking as well as not falling over. Otherwise we wouldn't be here because every human would have been eaten during the nine months that every mother would have to remain in one place.

 

[AvsJoe]

It's good to hear that I won't be getting arthritis anytime soon from my knuckle-cracking. I've been doing it about twice every three days for the last decade or so; naturally I was worried about the consequences of said actions. I can finally breathe a sigh of relief when it comes to that topic.

Also, the Ig Nobels remind me of a lot of other humourous awards I follow, such as the Stella Award, the Darwin Awards, the Razzies, and that award given to the book with the silliest title every year. Maybe I should follow the Ig Nobels every year, too.

 

[Andreyblade]

the guy with the knuckle cracking truly deserves a real Nobel prize I was arguing with a few of my friends a couple of weeks ago on that matter, now I can use Science! against them

 

[Tears of Blood]

I must say, I love these science columns. XD They're great.

 

[DragonsAteMyMarbles]

I've just had a look at the site and noticed the Literature prize for this year - the Irish police force wrote and presented more than fifty traffic tickets to the most frequent driving offender in the country ? Prawo Jazdy ? whose name in Polish means "Driving Licence".

 

[KazNecro]

Sweet zombie jesus. I had no idea there was a spoof Nobel prize. Actually some of these ideas are better than the ones that give people "real" Nobels. That idea about using a bra as a couple of gas masks is a wicked cool idea.

Yeah, but it'll probably be just as difficult for a man to take off during a makeout session.

Actually, I'm curious as to the practicality of such a garment. Unless the woman is given fair warning of a gas attack ahead of time; by the time she strips down, removes the bra, and convert it to a gas mask, it'll be way too late. The only way it would work efficiently is if the cups are detachable.

One of my favorite IgNobel prize "Duh!" entries in the past was a scientist's report that cat purrs were actually modified snores. Quite hysterical.

Edit: My favorite 'actual' winner was the scientist who did an MRI scan of a man and woman in the act of lovemaking.

http://improbable.com/2009/10/11/minimovie-having-sex-in-an-mri-scanner/

 

[Monshroud]

I really need to show the knuckle article to my Father. He keeps telling me that I am going to develop arthritis for cracking my knuckles.

Maybe people will do something more to save the Panda's now since we need their poop to help solve the ever increasing amounts of refuse trash we have.

 

[LimeJester]

The gas mask bra was funny, but it makes you think what cup size is proportional to the average human face? Another reason why men enjoy larger breasts, if your the dude standing next to a girl with AA's you might as well slit your wrists before the gas gets you. (Ladies I kid)

 

[Doktor Merkwurdigliebe]

Elena Bodnar began her career studying the effects from the Chernobyl nuclear plant disaster, but won the Ig Nobel prize for her work in bra research. She created a bra that is capable of being broken down into two gas masks.

"Get out of here, Lady Stalker."

 

[CaptainCrunch]

Now to market panda poop to municipal waste dumps... I'll make billions on the suffering of pandas, as they are packed into cages and force-fed bamboo! Muahahahahaha!

 

[Carbonhunter]

I'm slightly releaved, I mis-read the title and got worried that Panda's would be culled for their faces. They have enough problems as it is!
Slightly off topic, why in the hell did I click on the link to the MRI sex thing? Creepy beyond belief!

 

[BehattedWanderer]

A bra to gas mask device, genius!

But how come we didn't get a nifty link for that like we get for everything else? You mentioned a video, but the best I could find was the blueprints and design feature docs for them. And who knew, pandas are useful for something after all! Yay! Now this video can finally be taken down!

Spoiler: Warning, it's a little over the top

Like I said, a wee bit over the top

 

[randommaster]

Sweet zombie jesus. I had no idea there was a spoof Nobel prize. Actually some of these ideas are better than the ones that give people "real" Nobels. That idea about using a bra as a couple of gas masks is a wicked cool idea.

Yeah, but it'll probably be just as difficult for a man to take off during a makeout session.

Actually, I'm curious as to the practicality of such a garment. Unless the woman is given fair warning of a gas attack ahead of time; by the time she strips down, removes the bra, and convert it to a gas mask, it'll be way too late. The only way it would work efficiently is if the cups are detachable.

Well, if there's a fire it could be used to avoid breathing in the smoke.

Now all that needs to happen is for Japan's hentai industry to hear about this new bra. Gas masks bundled with every game to make the world safer.

I've just had a look at the site and noticed the Literature prize for this year - the Irish police force wrote and presented more than fifty traffic tickets to the most frequent driving offender in the country ? Prawo Jazdy ? whose name in Polish means "Driving Licence".

As bad as that name is, it can't be worse than Eric Gotobed, who lives in Little Snoring I might add. I'm not even kidding, he's a tourist attraction.

Nice article. Shame that this thread isn't more active.

 

[KazNecro]

Sweet zombie jesus. I had no idea there was a spoof Nobel prize. Actually some of these ideas are better than the ones that give people "real" Nobels. That idea about using a bra as a couple of gas masks is a wicked cool idea.

Yeah, but it'll probably be just as difficult for a man to take off during a makeout session.

Actually, I'm curious as to the practicality of such a garment. Unless the woman is given fair warning of a gas attack ahead of time; by the time she strips down, removes the bra, and convert it to a gas mask, it'll be way too late. The only way it would work efficiently is if the cups are detachable.

Well, if there's a fire it could be used to avoid breathing in the smoke.

Now all that needs to happen is for Japan's hentai industry to hear about this new bra. Gas masks bundled with every game to make the world safer.

You mean like THIS gem?

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/95385-Japanese-Porn-Game-Comes-With-Breasts-G-Cup-Bra

 

[randommaster]

Sweet zombie jesus. I had no idea there was a spoof Nobel prize. Actually some of these ideas are better than the ones that give people "real" Nobels. That idea about using a bra as a couple of gas masks is a wicked cool idea.

Yeah, but it'll probably be just as difficult for a man to take off during a makeout session.

Actually, I'm curious as to the practicality of such a garment. Unless the woman is given fair warning of a gas attack ahead of time; by the time she strips down, removes the bra, and convert it to a gas mask, it'll be way too late. The only way it would work efficiently is if the cups are detachable.

Well, if there's a fire it could be used to avoid breathing in the smoke.

Now all that needs to happen is for Japan's hentai industry to hear about this new bra. Gas masks bundled with every game to make the world safer.

You mean like THIS gem?

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/95385-Japanese-Porn-Game-Comes-With-Breasts-G-Cup-Bra

Oh, believe you me, that was one of the first things I thought about when this was mentioned.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

On the subject of fighting with beer bottles:

One of the things to watch out for is how a person breaks a beer bottle. If they hold it by the neck and rap it against a hard surface, then it's best to call an ambulance.

Because said attacker will not be aware that most beer bottle glass shatters along the stem of the bottle rather than to sheer the glass off a the point of impact.

What your attacker will be left with, rather than a nasty melee weapon, is a handful of razor sharp glass shards, and an artery that's emptying his body of that helpful red stuff.

 

[MajoraPersona]

A bra to gas mask device, genius!

But how come we didn't get a nifty link for that like we get for everything else? You mentioned a video, but the best I could find was the blueprints and design feature docs for them. And who knew, pandas are useful for something after all! Yay! Now this video can finally be taken down!

Spoiler: Warning, it's a little over the top

Like I said, a wee bit over the top

Awesome.

Maybe the bacteria is part of why a natural omnivore manages to survive a low fat-and-protein diet?