WiiWare's My Fireplace is a Game About a Fireplace

Tom Goldman

Crying on the inside.
Aug 17, 2009
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WiiWare's My Fireplace is a Game About a Fireplace



If you really want a fireplace, but don't have a fireplace, it's time to pretend you have a fireplace with My Fireplace.

After a scandalous reveal through an ESRB rating, Korner Entertainment S.L. and Continental Producciones S.L. have officially announced the future release of My Fireplace as a download on Nintendo's WiiWare service. What is My Fireplace? It's a game that hyper-realistically simulates a fireplace. It doesn't do anything else really.

In My Fireplace, virtual wood serves as virtual fuel for virtual fire. Some may say that the only purpose of a fireplace is to provide heat, and that because My Fireplace cannot do so it must be a useless piece of software. Those people don't appreciate the aesthetic value of a fireplace, or the fun a fireplace can provide. My Fireplace will bring with it plenty of virtual heat, which the hot would say is much better than actual heat anyway.

Statistics show that trillions of people die in fireplace-related accidents each year. With My Fireplace, players can enjoy a fire without burning their houses down. They'll prepare the wood, light it, and then stoke it. Stoke like a maniac, or choose the automatic option if you don't want to be troubled by the upkeep of a virtual fire. Due to My Fireplace's realistic graphics, players will likely never choose the automatic action as they won't be able to break their gazes away from the television set.

According to Korner Entertainment, My Fireplace will "surprise you" and has "fireplaces for every occasion completely configurable by every kind of user." Decorate your fire with "Love" or "Christmas" themes and watch the whole dynamic of the once fireplace-less room change for the better.

Does this sound like something anyone would actually want yet? I get the whole aquarium thing on WiiWare or as a screensaver, because users can customize it with unique fish and such. But a fireplace? Real fires can be fun to watch and mess with (but not for kids, kids), but virtual fires sound boring as hell (a hell without fire).

My Fireplace will light WiiWare on fire sometime this year. Get it, fire? Like in the fireplace. Fire is in a fireplace. Forget it.


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Aura Guardian

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Apr 23, 2008
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I remember seeing a PC game about a fireplace. As well as tv shows. Lots of people love watching fireplaces.
 

SnootyEnglishman

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May 26, 2009
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If want to stoke a fire i'll go dig my own fire pit. Sorry Nintendo i love you guys but you're seriously dropping the ball on this one.
 

Low Key

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May 7, 2009
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Why buy this when you can wait for the Christmas season and just record the Yule Log channel and play it back whenever? Seems like a waste of money. I hope the developers didn't spend too much time on this.
 

TheNumber1Zero

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Jul 23, 2009
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So pretty much that Fireplace TV station I keep seeing in Christmas Movies? Except with 'Decoration'?

Bah! I'll wait to have a real Fireplace again.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
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Didn't they release this before, or didn't someone release something like this before? And didn't it bomb horribly?
 

Generator

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May 8, 2009
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Too bad it's not on the 360; then you could go and warm up by it while the game loaded up for the ultimate virtual fireplace! Zing!

Wait, is it the 360 that gets really hot when it loads, or is it the one with a really strong fan to counteract that? Maybe it was the older PS3's that got really hot; or maybe it is the Wii that gets hot. I should really learn to distinguish between consoles...
 

Hazy

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Jun 29, 2008
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"We now present, My Fireplace!"
"Cool, so what does it do?"
"Well... it simulates a fireplace."
"That's cool, what else?"
"Else?"
"...So... like.. that's all?"
"All?! Did you see these fire effects! They're incredible!"
"...Uh.. No thanks."

Sorry Nintendo Korner[footnote]Cheers, Aura![/footnote], I'd rather light up a real fireplace for some actual warmth. :l
Best of luck, though, hopefully it goes over with others better than it did with me.
 

JRCB

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Jan 11, 2009
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Check it out guys: I have an actual wood fireplace beside my TV! So I can play Wii and have a real fire, providing real heat. At the same time.
 

TheNumber1Zero

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Jul 23, 2009
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Generator said:
Too bad it's not on the 360; then you could go and warm up by it while the game loaded up for the ultimate virtual fireplace! Zing!
Check the Indie Games out yet? Someone did make a virtual fireplace thing to download.
 

Hazy

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Jun 29, 2008
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JRCB said:
Check it out guys: I have an actual wood fireplace beside my TV! So I can play Wii and have a real fire, providing real heat. At the same time.
WHAT THE-
You mean there's real fire?

Oh boy, I've gotta see this for myself!
 

Sassafrass

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Aug 24, 2009
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Generator said:
Lesson in 360's fan coming up whether you want it or not
The fan on a 360 sucks.
It fails to keep it cool, I could make toast off the back of my old one onside of 30 minutes use if I wanted to and it's really loud. The Elites have better fans but they are still REALLY LOUD!
Anyway...

OT: I can see this selling really, really, really badly.
It will crash and burn.
... ... ...
I would make a better joke but Mr. Goldman took them all.
Plus I don't know any.
 

Quaidis

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Jun 1, 2008
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This reminds me of the Yule channel I turn on during Christmas to avoid having to light a real fire. Will this fireplace come with little ditties? And how on earth am I going to burn those old manuscripts and books with a virtual fire?

I can see the appeal for Japanese audiences, many of whom live in tight city apartment blocks and will never see the light of a real fire place. And old people that live in warmer climates. Fireplaces can be tranquil and mood-setting.
 

Aura Guardian

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Apr 23, 2008
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Hazy said:
"We now present, My Fireplace!"
"Cool, so what does it do?"
"Well... it simulates a fireplace."
"That's cool, what else?"
"Else?"
"...So... like.. that's all?"
"All?! Did you see these fire effects! They're incredible!"
"...Uh.. No thanks."

Sorry Nintendo, I'd rather light up a real fireplace for some actual warmth. :l
SnootyEnglishman said:
If want to stoke a fire i'll go dig my own fire pit. Sorry Nintendo i love you guys but you're seriously dropping the ball on this one.
Made and published by Korner Entertainment S.L. and Continental Producciones S.L.
Not Nintendo!
But what's the point? Everyone targets Nintendo anyway.
 

Generator

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May 8, 2009
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Sassafrass said:
Generator said:
Lesson in 360's fan coming up whether you want it or not
The fan on a 360 sucks.
It fails to keep it cool, I could make toast off the back of my old one onside of 30 minutes use if I wanted to and it's really loud. The Elites have better fans but they are still REALLY LOUD!
Hmm... Well, thanks very much for the edumucation. Actually, now that you mention it, I think it was the loudness of the 360 that I was thinking of, but if the fan sucks, then my joke still works, so yay!
 

SnootyEnglishman

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May 26, 2009
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Aura Guardian said:
Hazy said:
"We now present, My Fireplace!"
"Cool, so what does it do?"
"Well... it simulates a fireplace."
"That's cool, what else?"
"Else?"
"...So... like.. that's all?"
"All?! Did you see these fire effects! They're incredible!"
"...Uh.. No thanks."

Sorry Nintendo, I'd rather light up a real fireplace for some actual warmth. :l
SnootyEnglishman said:
If want to stoke a fire i'll go dig my own fire pit. Sorry Nintendo i love you guys but you're seriously dropping the ball on this one.
Made and published by Korner Entertainment S.L. and Continental Producciones S.L.
Not Nintendo!
But what's the point? Everyone targets Nintendo anyway.
It's in WiiWare under the Nintendo license which means that Nintendo would have to okay the idea so it could be sold.
 

The_Healer

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Jun 17, 2009
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So can I throw other assorted animated things into it?

No?

WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT IF I CAN'T BURN STUFF!?