$2.50 Reviews: Constantine (2005)

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Marter

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$2.50 Reviews:
Constantine
<img height=400>http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/682/constantinever3.jpg

Constantine is a 2005 supernatural thriller film directed by Francis Lawrence. The film is based off of the comic book Hellblazer, and follows the adventures of John Constantine, a compulsive smoker who has been brought back from the dead in order to prove that he doesn't deserve to go to Hell. Supporting him in this quest for redemption is his apprentice Chas (played by Shia LaBeouf), and a police officer named Angela Dodson (Rachel Wiesz). Sooner, rather than later, demons are coming onto Earth, something that is supposedly forbidden by both Satan and God.

<img height=275>http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/6075/constantinef.jpg Constantine actually carries a pretty
good anti-smoking message. It's just
too bad it gets forgotten about in
the second half

With an interesting premise, Constantine's story ends up being far more of a burden than it should have been. The basic plot of the film is just fine, with the primary focus being placed on the angels and demons fight to rule the Earth. However, at around the half way point, the entire production kind of falls apart. John Constantine's entire motivation for saving Earth is to earn his way into Heaven, something that he is told early on is impossible. Before the film began, he apparently committed suicide, and ended up being sent back to Earth by Satan. Why does he get sent back? I'm still not really sure. What I am sure of is that the important parts of the story are all told from one character to another, so as to not confuse the audience any more than should happen.

Unfortunately, these pauses in the action to relay plot points hurt the film even more. The plot itself actually does end up being kind of silly, completely skipping out on certain parts that happened earlier. For example, early on in the film, Constantine is told that he is dying of lung cancer. He's smoked 30 cigarettes a day since the age of 15. He should expect this. Constantine shows the audience that he is dying, constantly coughing and collapsing, even while attempting to get off another puff. Then, the half way point of the film kicks in, and Constantine forgets that he's dying, and becomes just another invincible god-like character. The weakness that he had in the first half of the film made him somewhat more likeable as a character. You almost wanted him to succeed, and get his way into Heaven, but only "almost."

When dealing with an actor like Keanu Reeves, you need to think about why he was chosen for the role. At this point, everyone pretty much knows what you're going to get from him. He's not going to show a lot of emotion, and for a character like John Constantine, that almost works just fine. Constantine is a smug cynic, so choosing an actor that doesn't have a lot of emotional depth or range seems like a fine fit. However, with a character like that, you need to have some reason to care. In the first half of the film, this is the ever-present thought that death is going to come in the form of lung cancer. In the second half, Constantine forgets, as does the audience, and instead the film turns into a one man wrecking ball against dozens of demons. This is far less interesting than watching a man fight his way back into God's good books, that's for sure.

<image width=300, height=200>http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/9513/constantine200502011014.jpgAnd this my friends, is Hell

That's really the main thing that makes Constantine a movie that doesn't warrant any attention. It's second half is uninteresting and overall far too long. The film does only clock in at 121 minutes, but there is quite a lot that really doesn't need to be there. The film ends up having an awkward pacing, as well as being kind of boring for a lot of the time, especially in the second half. The visuals actually end up being the most interesting part. For the most part, they do look quite nice. The depiction of Hell in this film is also one of the best I've seen. Or, at least the closest I've seen to my own personal vision of Hell. It really does look like a place where souls are tormented for all eternity, and definitely a place you wouldn't want to end up in.

All in all, Constantine ends up being a failure of a movie. It's far too long, especially with the second half being as boring as it is. Although Keanu Reeves doesn't do a terrible job with the character he is given, we still don't really care about him. The motivation he had from the first half of the film ends up almost entirely disappearing in the second half, leaving the audience wondering why he's doing everything he's doing. The film does look nice though, and you can tell that the production values were fairly high. Lawrence's vision of Hell certainly comes fairly close to mine, so at least the parts that take place there kept me entertained. But, just looking at a still image almost would have given me the same sense of fulfillment, so Constantine can't be recommended for those few short scenes either. It's a boring film that's only real redeeming feature is the visual effects if flaunts.

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Julianking93

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Oh my god, I fucking hated this movie. I don't know why but I was disappointed by it. I should come to expect that from Keanu Reeves at this point but still, it was beyond horrid. Which makes this [http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://media.animevice.com/uploads/0/4/58780-keanu_super.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.gamespot.com/pages/forums/show_msgs.php%3Ftopic_id%3D27389489&h=312&w=468&sz=27&tbnid=Kkd1l7JrgO1sVM:&tbnh=85&tbnw=128&prev=/images%3Fq%3DKeanu%2Breeves%2Bas%2Bspike&zoom=1&q=Keanu+reeves+as+spike&usg=__kJzR0_PIssXcIyIpIiDYY6rNe9o=&sa=X&ei=dUmUTNDQOsL6lweq_4WpCg&ved=0CBgQ9QEwAQ] all the more upsetting.

Great review, Marter as always though.

Doesn't make up for my hatred of this movie.

Oh by the way, I wanted to place a request for a review. Could you review the first Underworld movie? I know you like Kate Beckinsale, so I figured you might enjoy it.
 

Marter

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Julianking93 said:
Oh by the way, I wanted to place a request for a review. Could you review the first Underworld movie? I know you like Kate Beckinsale, so I figured you might enjoy it.
I would really, really like to review Underworld, (I've watched it a couple times already), but I want to wait until I can find Rise of the Lycans, so I can review all three back to back to back. So, don't worry, it's in my plans, I just want to do the entire series together.
 

Bon_Clay

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Wasn't it he ATTEMPTED suicide and that's what bought him a ticket to hell, when he eventually died? So he's still alive in a normal mortal life, but his brush with death allowed him to see angels and demons, and now hes trying to help God's side out in order to get forgiveness.

Either way I liked the movie, I don't think it really suffered as much as you said in the second half.
 

AvsJoe

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This was a dull little flick. Not good, not bad, very dull. At best it's average, at worst it's ridiculous (the bad kind of ridiculous). When it's trying to be great, it fails; when it's not trying, well, we can tell. Like I said, this isn't a bad movie, just skippable; there are many better.

Great review, but I'm disappointed that you didn't mention Peter Stormare's ridiculous turn as Satan (the good kind of ridiculous) or Tilda Swinton overacting like nobody's business as Gabriel. Those were quality scenes; both actors owned their respective screen-times.
 

Julianking93

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Marter said:
Julianking93 said:
Oh by the way, I wanted to place a request for a review. Could you review the first Underworld movie? I know you like Kate Beckinsale, so I figured you might enjoy it.
I would really, really like to review Underworld, (I've watched it a couple times already), but I want to wait until I can find Rise of the Lycans, so I can review all three back to back to back. So, don't worry, it's in my plans, I just want to do the entire series together.
Don't hold high hopes for it though.....it sucked
 

Marter

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Bon_Clay said:
Wasn't it he ATTEMPTED suicide and that's what bought him a ticket to hell, when he eventually died? So he's still alive in a normal mortal life, but his brush with death allowed him to see angels and demons, and now hes trying to help God's side out in order to get forgiveness.
An attempt wouldn't send you to Hell in the first place. He must have gone through with it, or he wouldn't have stayed there for "two minutes". As for coming back with the powers...I believe the reason he killed himself to begin with was because he saw the demons. He couldn't take it. I'm fairly certain he was born with those powers.
 

Marter

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Julianking93 said:
Don't hold high hopes for it though.....it sucked
It can't be worse than Evolution was.

Actually, I think I watched it once on TV, but I don't remember enough of it to do a review.
 

Julianking93

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Marter said:
Julianking93 said:
Don't hold high hopes for it though.....it sucked
It can't be worse than Evolution was.

Actually, I think I watched it once on TV, but I don't remember enough of it to do a review.
....I kinda liked Evolution XD
 

Bon_Clay

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Marter said:
Bon_Clay said:
Wasn't it he ATTEMPTED suicide and that's what bought him a ticket to hell, when he eventually died? So he's still alive in a normal mortal life, but his brush with death allowed him to see angels and demons, and now hes trying to help God's side out in order to get forgiveness.
An attempt wouldn't send you to Hell in the first place. He must have gone through with it, or he wouldn't have stayed there for "two minutes". As for coming back with the powers...I believe the reason he killed himself to begin with was because he saw the demons. He couldn't take it. I'm fairly certain he was born with those powers.
I checked and you were right about the powers, he had those from birth and they caused him wanting to die. But it still was a suicide attempt, since he didn't stay dead. He tried to kill himself, and was dead for a little bit during which he went to hell, then I guess he was revived on Earth.

I think Keanu Reeves and the whole Cowboy Bebop movie could work, I really think he has potential to do roles well if he's suited for them and the directing is good. But live action adaptations of cartoons/anime have a very bad track record.
 

Sacman

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Marter said:
Bon_Clay said:
Wasn't it he ATTEMPTED suicide and that's what bought him a ticket to hell, when he eventually died? So he's still alive in a normal mortal life, but his brush with death allowed him to see angels and demons, and now hes trying to help God's side out in order to get forgiveness.
An attempt wouldn't send you to Hell in the first place. He must have gone through with it, or he wouldn't have stayed there for "two minutes". As for coming back with the powers...I believe the reason he killed himself to begin with was because he saw the demons. He couldn't take it. I'm fairly certain he was born with those powers.
I thought he died for like 20 seconds but the paramedics brought him back with the chest paddles or something...
 

TimeLord

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Marter said:
Bon_Clay said:
Wasn't it he ATTEMPTED suicide and that's what bought him a ticket to hell, when he eventually died? So he's still alive in a normal mortal life, but his brush with death allowed him to see angels and demons, and now hes trying to help God's side out in order to get forgiveness.
An attempt wouldn't send you to Hell in the first place. He must have gone through with it, or he wouldn't have stayed there for "two minutes". As for coming back with the powers...I believe the reason he killed himself to begin with was because he saw the demons. He couldn't take it. I'm fairly certain he was born with those powers.
But in order to alow Angela Dodson to see what he sees, he puts her near death in the bath tub!
 
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Wow I fairly enjoyed this movie. Wasn't the most interesting but kept me going for the most part.

And Evolution was hilarious... I love that film for the comedy element.
 

Marter

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TimeLord said:
But in order to alow Angela Dodson to see what he sees, he puts her near death in the bath tub!
True, but she stated that she was born with that "power", and eventually got rid of it through denying it existed or something like that.

The near death experience was to shock it back into her system or something like that. I think.
 

LadyRhian

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The movie was based on one of the stories in the actual comic. I liked the comic version better, but the movie wasn't bad. In the comic, he sells his soul, when he dies, to three different demon lords, and when they show up to claim him, they decide that a war between them over his soul would cause chaos in Hell, so they cure him of his cancer. He also pisses off Satan by getting him to drink holy water. (One of his friends lives in an ex-church, whose font has water that turns into wine- literally, when you light candles around the font. Constantine summons Satan, gives him a glass of the wine and snuffs out the candles, turning the wine back into Holy Water in the Devil's stomach. Needless to say, this doesn't endear him to the ultimate Devil.)

I liked the movie, too. But I think the reason why he earned redemption in the movie was because he might have started out trying to save Rachel Weisz from mercenary motives, but by the end, he was doing it because it was the right thing to do- not because he was cynically trying to buy off heaven. He came to believe in her and what he was doing. And that's why he deserved redemption. It was no longer about paying off his sins- it was about saving her.
 

StANDY1338

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I actualy really liked this movie and its one of my favorites. Even to the point where I bought it on the psp which was a waste really now that i think about it but it is that good.