Germany Creates Herbicidal Death Ray

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
45,698
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Germany Creates Herbicidal Death Ray


German scientists have developed a semi-autonomous laser defense system that will keep your garden healthy and green.

Weeds are a hassle. Whether it's a vegetable garden, a decorative flowerbed or an industrial greenhouse, keeping out unwanted, invasive vegetation is a never-ending task. Virulent herbicides make the job easier but are dangerous to people and the environment and, because of that, are faced with restrictions and even flat-out bans in some areas. Weeding by hand is safer, but double the work, half the fun and lacking the finality of a good Roundup rampage.

Enter Germany. And lasers!

Scientists at Leibniz University [http://www.uni-hannover.de/de/aktuell/presseinformationen/archiv/details/11905/index.php] in Hannover have come up with a laser-based system that keeps the weeds at bay without posing any threat to other plants or animal life. It wasn't easy; lasers of the wrong frequency or intensity can actually promote weed growth, and although it might be fun to watch, you probably don't want to turn your whole garden into a smoking, charred cinder, either.

But researchers have overcome both of those problems, determining the proper weed-killing laser intensity and then developing a camera system that monitors fields and measures the contours of plants, after which algorithms go to work to separate the weeds from everything else. Once all that's done, you just stand back and nuke it from orbit.

Actually, it's not quite that simple. The system as it stands is good for about a square meter in a greenhouse and while larger, rail-based greenhouse applications can be "easily conceived," the precision required for outdoor farming applications is a bit more problematic. The researchers are now looking at robots and drones to see whether they can bring the pain with enough precision to get the job done without excessive collateral damage.

So to recap: German scientists are working on laser-equipped flying death machines that are capable of deciding for themselves what to kill. Yeah, we are so screwed.

Source: Treehugger [http://www.treehugger.com/sustainable-agriculture/star-wars-weeds-could-lasers-replace-herbicides.html]


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Daemascus

WAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!
Mar 6, 2010
792
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There is no kill like overkill.

Back on topic: Won't the weeds just grow back from the roots?
 

templar1138a

New member
Dec 1, 2010
894
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Für den Ruhm des Gartens!

I don't care how likely it is to turn on me, I want it. And I want to add a voice synthesizer and conversation algorithm so it can call me an organic meatbag!
 

OniaPL

New member
Nov 9, 2010
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Interesting. I wonder if in the future laser death rays will paint the sky with jolly colors.
 

Kuratius

New member
May 23, 2012
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You misspelled Hannover. It is spelled with two n.
Google it!
Also, how many germans are reading this on the escapist? With me, it's at least 1.
 

Tiamat666

Level 80 Legendary Postlord
Dec 4, 2007
1,012
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Bio Terminating Lasers - Check.
Next: (A) Moon Base, (B) Space Travelling Zeppelins

Ze masterplan iz unravelling.
 

Agayek

Ravenous Gormandizer
Oct 23, 2008
5,178
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So what I've got out of this, is that from this moment on, no one with any connection to Cyberdyne Inc [http://www.cyberdyne.jp/english/] (makers of the HAL robotic exoskeleton) should ever be allowed within German borders.

Slightly more seriously: I'm still fucking terrified of that company. They've ticked just about every possible box in "popular culture cause of the robot apocalypse".
 

teebeeohh

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Jun 17, 2009
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i could make a horrible joke about the nazis considering people of certain religion or ethnicity to be weeds but that would be terrible.

however this does make me happy because it's not the news that someone hooked up a camera to a gun to shot everyone who does not wear the correct tag or something. you know, use science to kill weeds, not people.
 

Desworks

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Nov 18, 2009
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Agayek said:
So what I've got out of this, is that from this moment on, no one with any connection to Cyberdyne Inc [http://www.cyberdyne.jp/english/] (makers of the HAL robotic exoskeleton) should ever be allowed within German borders.

Slightly more seriously: I'm still fucking terrified of that company. They've ticked just about every possible box in "popular culture cause of the robot apocalypse".
Oh, they haven't ticked every box just yet. They're still just working on Exoskeletons. It's the day that they start developing robotic assistants based on the exoskeletons (with AI cores, of course, so they can help better) that they'll be handing in their Apocalypse Registration Form in triplicate.
 

=y

New member
May 11, 2012
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itsausernamewhatofit said:
Still not as useful as this death ray.
Ninja'd...

Oh well, the Germans won't allow this to be used for the powers of evil. Right? Right.
 

DustyDrB

Made of ticky tacky
Jan 19, 2010
8,365
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This sounds like a basis for a Pixar movie. Weeds vs the evil laser-wielding humans.
 

grigjd3

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Mar 4, 2011
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Andy Chalk said:
So to recap: German scientists are working on laser-equipped flying death machines that are capable of deciding for themselves what to kill. Yeah, we are so screwed.
And it's being made by Germans so it's going to work.
 

The Artificially Prolonged

Random Semi-Frequent Poster
Jul 15, 2008
2,755
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I see Germany, distract everyone with the financial crisis in Europe while you finish your death lasers and by next year we're all speaking germen. Kills "weeds" does it? Weeds like western Europe? I'm watching you Germany.

Although if they make it possible to cut your lawn with lasers, Ich für meinen Teil begrüße unsere Deutsch Oberherren[footnote]I've no idea if that is right or not. I apologise for my poor language skills[/footnote]. I hate cut grass, damn hayfever!

teebeeohh said:
i could make a horrible joke about the nazis considering people of certain religion or ethnicity to be weeds but that would be terrible.
Don't worry I'm not above grabbing for low hanging fruit XD