Germany Creates Herbicidal Death Ray

[Not G. Ivingname]

And now a demonstration of this new power in the galaxy, FIRE THE LASER:

YOU FOOL! D:<

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO AIM AT THE CLOVERS! THE #@$^ING CLOVERS!

Now our INSURANCE COMPANY HAS INCREASED OUR PREMIUMS!

 

[teebeeohh]

I see Germany, distract everyone with the financial crisis in Europe while you finish your death lasers and by next year we're all speaking germen. Kills "weeds" does it? Weeds like western Europe? I'm watching you Germany.

Although if they make it possible to cut your lawn with lasers, Ich für meinen Teil begrüße unsere Deutsch Oberherren[footnote]I've no idea if that is right or not. I apologise for my poor language skills[/footnote]. I hate cut grass, damn hayfever!

i could make a horrible joke about the nazis considering people of certain religion or ethnicity to be weeds but that would be terrible.

Don't worry I'm not above grabbing for low hanging fruit XD

use the term "Herrenmenschen" it's what Goebbels would have said.

oh and remember the lightning that hit the plane of [insert name of new president of france] last week? well if you played killzone 2 or 3 you know what actually did it.

 

[Aprilgold]

Suddenly the plot of Black Ops 2 seems a lot more realistic.

..... Its has a plot past shooting arabic men in the face?.....

----------------------------------------------------

TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING WEEDS, YOU BASTARDS!

 

[tobi the good boy]

I commend their work effort. Now stay away from Australia please.

 

[Kieve]

Oh, they haven't ticked every box just yet. They're still just working on Exoskeletons. It's the day that they start developing robotic assistants based on the exoskeletons (with AI cores, of course, so they can help better) that they'll be handing in their Apocalypse Registration Form in triplicate.

Unless they're using Google software for seeking out these "weeds." Skynet doesn't terrify me nearly as much as the thought of the all-pervasive Google becoming self-aware.

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

There is no kill like overkill.

Your avatar makes that comment so much more fitting.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

You guys do know that we already have meat-sizzling lasers for surgery, right? And that we didn't get any death rays from that, either? Lasers don't work that way!

*snip*

Spoiler: Deutsches Gesabbel

Ja, gebe ich dir recht. Ich meine, es so darzustellen ist zwar nur ein Scherz, aber es ist ja nicht so als ob diese Ansichten generell sonderlich differenziert waeren. Ist nicht weit von sowas zu den YouTubern die einen sofort als Nazi bezeichnen wenn man sagt, dass man Deutscher ist. Das ist halt in vieler Leute Kopf so verankert, egal wie sehr man sich fuer humanistische Prinzipien und gegen totalitaere Ideologien ausspricht. Ziemlich nervig und beleidigend. Aber es scheint mir regional sehr unterschiedlich zu sein. In Neuseeland als Teil des angelsaechsischen Raums habe ich z.B. keine solchen Verallgemeinerungen erlebt, in Grossbritannien und von den USA dagegen schon (und auch bei letzteren ist es natuerlich nicht ueberall der Fall, aber es scheint mir praevalenter zu sein).

Chill out dude. You get called Nazis and I get a whole section [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/index/528-Religion-and-Politics] of this site that seems to be dedicated to Europeans telling me how my government is "doing it wrong".

 

[TIMESWORDSMAN]

My spearmint! It's saved!

 

[Strazdas]

So the germans have finally created a device to rid the world of french. Oh wait you mean garden weeds.
Well since its germany it has a very large chance of working. Not like that "see though walls" laser sadly. I say Hydra certainly did well here.

 

[devilmore]

I need those for our Robocup@Home Robot. Gardening is a whole new area.

Though sadly we're not allowed to put weapons on it ._. (Trust me, we tried.)

 

[Frybird]

Chill out dude. You get called Nazis and I get a whole section [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/index/528-Religion-and-Politics] of this site that seems to be dedicated to Europeans telling me how my government is "doing it wrong".

Yeah, because hearing criticism against you government is totally the same as being referred as genocidal racist douchebags.

But i guess it's the price to pay if you don't actually succeed at wiping out a race/religion/culture, or else we'd have to endure the same similar idiotic and tedious jokes about killing indians.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Chill out dude. You get called Nazis and I get a whole section [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/index/528-Religion-and-Politics] of this site that seems to be dedicated to Europeans telling me how my government is "doing it wrong".

Yeah, because hearing criticism against you government is totally the same as being referred as genocidal racist douchebags.

But i guess it's the price to pay if you don't actually succeed at wiping out a race/religion/culture, or else we'd have to endure the same similar idiotic and tedious jokes about killing indians.

First off, it comes off as pretentious talking down, not criticism. Second, I never said that the two are the same, just that the Escapist isn't being unfair and only going after Germany.

 

[FEichinger]

Alright ... While I do consider myself more British than German, I am German ... But the amount of Germans in this thread raging about humor is just insane ...
I doubt anyone seriously believes Germany was full of Nazis (given the fact that the largest anti-semitic groups nowadays are in the US), and, in all honesty, my first thought on this thread was "Great job ... Scientists presenting us as death-ray inventors ... Best thing that could ever happen" ... Not to mention the fact that I see the invention as far too close to AI tech to consider it benefitial given the risk.
Back to the defensive rage, though ... In fact, I consider the massive backlash you get for stating something as simple as "Dangit, the nazis are working on a death ray!", not quite too helpful for the German position here ... Might as well laugh it off and get over it.

So ... to sum it up: There is no need to get heated over statements that are a) predictable and b) pretty much "in good fun".

 

[No social life]

And now a demonstration of this new power in the galaxy, FIRE THE LASER:

"AAAHH! Damage report! Damage report!!!?!"

Don't worry, that was actually footage from the film independence day, but the actual laser will have much the same effect. Ta tah.

Hmm... i believe you have placed the "laser" on the moon creating what I could be called a "Death star".
quick, some create a vertically challenged clone for this man.

wheres my cookie?

OT: I seem to be sensing some built up aggression from Germany, and I like it.

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

I see Germany, distract everyone with the financial crisis in Europe while you finish your death lasers and by next year we're all speaking germen. Kills "weeds" does it? Weeds like western Europe? I'm watching you Germany.

Although if they make it possible to cut your lawn with lasers, Ich für meinen Teil begrüße unsere Deutsch Oberherren[footnote]I've no idea if that is right or not. I apologise for my poor language skills[/footnote]. I hate cut grass, damn hayfever!

i could make a horrible joke about the nazis considering people of certain religion or ethnicity to be weeds but that would be terrible.

Don't worry I'm not above grabbing for low hanging fruit XD

use the term "Herrenmenschen" it's what Goebbels would have said.

oh and remember the lightning that hit the plane of [insert name of new president of france] last week? well if you played killzone 2 or 3 you know what actually did it.

Oh God your right! Hollande was on the way to Germany when his plane was hit by lightning. It all fits together now. To the bunkers!

captcha: be careful

Oh we will captcha, we will.

 

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

Germans making death rays?

Spoiler: Big Yin, could you sum up my reaction please?

Thanks for that summation at 2:10.

 

[Frybird]

Chill out dude. You get called Nazis and I get a whole section [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/index/528-Religion-and-Politics] of this site that seems to be dedicated to Europeans telling me how my government is "doing it wrong".

Yeah, because hearing criticism against you government is totally the same as being referred as genocidal racist douchebags.

But i guess it's the price to pay if you don't actually succeed at wiping out a race/religion/culture, or else we'd have to endure the same similar idiotic and tedious jokes about killing indians.

First off, it comes off as pretentious talking down, not criticism. Second, I never said that the two are the same, just that the Escapist isn't being unfair and only going after Germany.

You are missing the point.

It may be no biggie to hear something like that once in a while, but it's not only going to get old fast, it starts to feel insulting. And that's not an issue depending on whether it's just kidding (wich i don't doubt).

It's kinda like if you have a buddy whom you have an inside joke with where you are called...oh, i dunno, a pedophile. You know it's all fun and games, but if you get tired of it while you buddy insists on milking this joke for all it's worth, it stops being fun, and you can't help but feel insulted.
(Especially if you are told from being a little kid about how your ancestors might've belonged to a big group of pedophiles and you are forced to spend a considerable part of your school life being lectured about how being a pedophile is bad)

I'm not one who is easily offended, but after years and years of the same tired joke you can't help but seeing everyone who after the first 5 posts of "LOL, Germanz r Nathzis!" still thinks he has to blurt out another brilliant Nazi-Joke as a half-brained, driveling ass-wipe pretending to be a person.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

You are missing the point.

It may be no biggie to hear something like that once in a while, but it's not only going to get old fast, it starts to feel insulting. And that's not an issue depending on whether it's just kidding (wich i don't doubt).

I get what your saying but people are jerks, their isn't much you can do about it.

It's kinda like if you have a buddy whom you have an inside joke with where you are called...oh, i dunno, a pedophile. You know it's all fun and games, but if you get tired of it while you buddy insists on milking this joke for all it's worth, it stops being fun, and you can't help but feel insulted.
(Especially if you are told from being a little kid about how your ancestors might've belonged to a big group of pedophiles and you are forced to spend a considerable part of your school life being lectured about how being a pedophile is bad)

I know what you mean, half my family is German and half is Jewish, take a guess about what kinds of comments I get when people find this out. Accusing half of my family of killing the other half got old in sixth grade, and I'm still hearing about it.

I'm not one who is easily offended, but after years and years of the same tired joke you can't help but seeing everyone who after the first 5 posts of "LOL, Germanz r Nathzis!" still thinks he has to blurt out another brilliant Nazi-Joke as a half-brained, driveling ass-wipe pretending to be a person.

I realize it gets old but you can't let it get to you. You'll go nuts if you can't learn to let go. For example it doesn't matter how much I work out or watch international news, the stereotype about Americans being fat and ignorant about the rest of the world won't change.

 

[TheCaptain]

You misspelled Hannover. It is spelled with two n.
Google it!
Also, how many germans are reading this on the escapist? With me, it's at least 1.

...and I'm even from Hannover, too! I might not have a garden, but I want one of these...