Sharks Guard World's First Xbox One

[roseofbattle]

Sharks Guard World's First Xbox One

No kiddies in New Zealand are getting too close to this Xbox One before launch.

Leading up to launch parties in Auckland, New Zealand, an Xbox One is sealed in a water-resistant container in a shark tank at Kelly Tarlton's SEA LIFE Aquarium. The console will be on display for a week in an amusing and unorthodox manner of PR.

The Xbox One in the aquarium was supposed to be the first Xbox One on the market, but thanks to shipping errors, some customers who pre-ordered the Xbox One received their console early. Anyone who has received their console early will not be able to connect to Xbox Live until closer to the Nov. 22 launch.

Twenty sand tiger sharks guard the Xbox One and can easily hunt down prey in packs. Even though sand tiger sharks look terrifying, they are generally placid. Thankfully, these sharks won't be getting into any fits of gamer rage.

Those who pre-ordered an Xbox One from EB Games in Auckland can attend a launch party hosted by Xbox at Auckland's Shed 10 the night before the new console launches. Several large cities, such as New York, London, Paris, Toronto, and Sydney, have their own large events. Spike TV, Xbox.com, and Xbox Live will showcase selected events in a live broadcast. More than 10,000 retail locations across the world will launch the console at midnight. New Zealand kicks off the launch first.

This shark-guarded console will go on sale Nov. 22.

Source: Polygon [http://www.stuff.co.nz/technology/games/30003133/worlds-first-xbox-one-guarded-by-sharks]

Permalink

 

[Thunderous Cacophony]

After a daring, Ocean's 11 style raid, a band of eager gamers opens up the box to discover the Xbox One is in fact a mimic octopus.

 

[Sixcess]

Is it very very wrong of me that I kind of want some desperate gamer to be eaten chewed up a bit while attempting to snatch the console?

I bet MS's PR department wouldn't mind. Yeah, there might be some legal hassles over it, but think of the news coverage...

 

[JoJo]

Any Escapist's in the New Zealand area in on the plan? Oh wait, it's just an Xbox One, never mind...

 

[Atmos Duality]

Must be a slow day if bizarre advertising stunts are making the news.

All that's missing is a bad joke about someone flying over the display in a motorcycle.
(there is metaphorical satire to be had here, but I've got nothing...)

 

[Hawkeye21]

Later shark was replaced be an angry dog, then scrawny cat, then wounded turtle, then an aging snail. Still, nobody cares about taking that shit home.

 

[tangoprime]

You misunderstand- the sharks aren't there to protect the Xbox One from the public. They're there to protect the public from the Xbox One, like the prison they put Magneto in, except underwater and surrounded by sharks.

 

[Somethingfake]

They were going to provide specially adapted controllers for the sharks, but they've just annouced that the shark adapated controllers wont be available for launch.

 

[CleverCover]

This is one of those, "why would you do that? Who came up with that marketing strategy?" kind of moment. It's kind of cool but then, I don't really care enough to tell people...

 

[Battenberg]

You misunderstand- the sharks aren't there to protect the Xbox One from the public. They're there to protect the public from the Xbox One, like the prison they put Magneto in, except underwater and surrounded by sharks.

I was thinking more like Rorschach from watchmen: The Xbone's not trapped in a tank with sharks, the sharks are trapped in a tank with an Xbone. Obviously these are terrorist sharks that the NSA needs to keep an eye on.

This all seems fairly pointless as a publicity stunt to me, the only message I'm getting from it is that the Xbone belongs at the bottom of the sea where no human can possibly be tainted by it.

 

[Anthadlas Babyeater]

Why is Microsoft now using the Xbone to spy on Sharks? What advertising deals could you possibly send them!?!?

 

[Dr.Awkward]

Why is Microsoft now using the Xbone to spy on Sharks? What advertising deals could you possibly send them!?!?

...Loans, maybe?

But yeah, another dumb PR stunt that for the most part does nothing to properly show off the item in question. I guess common sense is too boring for some marketing people?

 

[Canadamus Prime]

That seems a tad unnecessary. Who'd want to steal an XBox One?

 

[VanQ]

Even if you went to the trouble of stealing it the damn thing wouldn't work because there's no Kinect in there. I bet the thing doesn't even respond to voice commands in Sharkish anyway.

 

[Chessrook44]

So what happens if the box leaks?

 

[DestinyCall]

The sharks seem just a tad unnecessary. You could probably leave it on a sidewalk and it would be safe.


And in all seriousness, if someone was actually willing to brave the sharks to get at the console, it would still be just a useless brick until closer to launch day. If they were trying to make it look unattainable, they are trying way too hard.

 

[TimeLord]

So what happens if the box leaks?

Not much I'd guess. Instead of a useless doorstop, it would become a water filled useless doorstop.

 

[fix-the-spade]

Sand Tiger Sharks are generally placid and present only a minimal threat to human beings.

However, after being exposed to Call of Duty Multiplayer, delivered via the medium of an installed Xbox One, the sharks demonstrated a rapid and uncontrolled increase in aggression towards all living things. It should be noted that their ire would be directed most virulently against teenage and pre-teen human males. Whilst the test was originally slated to last for three months, on the seventh day the New Zealand Airforce was forced to carpet bomb the site after the sharks staged an apparent coup and began systematically devouring individuals both inside and outside the building, having seemingly mastered the power of flight. The total death toll has yet to be calculated and the remains of at least one of the twenty sharks remains unaccounted for.

A Microsoft representative was unavailable for comment.

 

[RA92]

I'm just waiting to see how MS fucks this one up as well.

After a daring, Ocean's 11 style raid, a band of eager gamers opens up the box to discover the Xbox One is in fact a mimic octopus.

You're lovely, you know that?