234: Kill Billy

[Brendan Main]

Kill Billy

Brendan Main has killed thousands of faceless enemies during his videogame career. But the one he remembers most wasn't an enemy at all. Main ponders the meaning behind his propensity for virtual goat-slaying.

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[Swaki]

still as funny and touching as the first time, though i said i would try the game the first time it was published i haven't, something about playing games older than i, much older in fact, doesn't sound like much fun, maybe if it gets the monkey island treatment.

anyways congrats on being the best of the best.

 

[Baby Tea]

I'm very glad this was re-posted!
I vividly remember this article, because I played KQ1 at a young age, and the memory of stabbing the goat was strangely etched in my head. I did it, and I felt terrible.
Great article, even the second time around!

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

So, let me get this straight, you killed the goat...because the game's interface sucked and wouldn't let you do things. So, the goat had to die, so that you could feel like you did something?

Ahh, text adventures. I always hear stories of such frustration. A genre I will avoid, even though I did play the Escapist's own "Phantom of the Arcade 1".

 

[gutenbergn]

I registered only to say how brilliant is this article. I think I've read it at least 5 times since its original publication and it's not only the best Escapist article of the year, but easily one of the best gaming articles I've ever read.

 

[Angerwing]

My only gaming regrets come from WoW. No, I don't mean investing time in it, but quite the opposite. I played from just before Ahn'Qiraj (so the end of 2005) to the end of 2007; almost 2 years exact. I was a bit of a newb starting out, as we all were, and was pretty useless with keeping my money.

I distinctly remember a level 60 Gnome Warrior, on Jubei'thos, offering to sell a 'blue' weapon around my level, which was mid to high 20s, I think. I asked him how much he wanted, and he said "20g". Crap, I only had like... 80 silver. That's .8g, for those who don't play WoW. I explained that I couldn't buy the weapon, and apologised for wasting his time.

"Screw it" he said, "I'll give it to you anyway. I only picked it up when running a guildy through an instance, it's no big deal."

And he gave it to me. Being a massive newb (I was only 13 when I started, so yeah), I only really got exasperation and impatience from people, and for someone to just be nice was unheard of. Then later on, when I got to level 40, he helped me pay for my mount. He was a friendly guy to me, and from what I got was that he was older, probably around 20s or something. Typical WoW player. The patience he showed to a young lad of 13/14 was remarkable.

Anyway, I took a brief hiatus a bit later from that point, and when I came back, he was gone. Character deleted. Bummer.

Anyway, after I quit in '07, I eventually came back, about 3 months ago (about). I already had 2 level capped characters in BC, so I knew the mechanics of the game, and I picked up the rest very easily. Being so 'leet', I tended to be impatient and even a bit rude with newbies, because, hey, I didn't want to waste my time with em, despite starting on a new server. Well one day, recently I was being a bit of a douche to a person who took a sarcastic remark as a serious one, and thought I needed their help. I remembered this guy from 3-4 years prior, and I simply felt ashamed for my actions. This guy, my in-game role model, was kind enough to randomly help a lowbie, even at his own expense. Here I was berating one for no real reason. I changed my tune after that, and now I go out of my way to help new people to the game. If someone asks a question in Global Trade chat, amongst the myriad of rude and inaccurate answers, I always whisper them the right one. It's the least I can do.

So here's a shout out to you Guga, level 60 Gnome Warrior from Jubei'thos. I remember you, and I appreciate what you did for a lost kid.

 

[benbenthegamerman]

still one of the best articles ive ever read on the escapist.

[pats Brenden on the back]

 

[OmegaXIII]

Animals carry with them an aire of innocence whereas it is easy to assume that people are assholes. In Splinter Cell i always tried making a point of not killing the guard dogs because i didn't want to kill a dog, yet i gleefully puddle shocked guard after guard.

This article reminded me of another piece of pointless farm animal cruelty, Warcraft III, click on the sheep relentlessly and they detonate.

 

[Patroclus]

Very well written, held my interest the whole way through.

This article reminded a lot of "the Men Who Stare at Goats"; don't know if you've seen/read it already, but you should if you haven't. The goat becomes a symbol of guilt (and possibly grief and despair as well) for one of the characters in that movie/book. That character at one point compares his situation to that of the mariner in S. T. Coleridge's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner".

 

[Florion]

Oh. My. God. This is brilliant.

I love the conclusion, "the only true morality games are the ones we play against ourselves." <3

 

[Vuirneen]

I never realised that you could kill the goat. If you stick with him long enough, he runs off: goes on the lam after knocking off an innocent troll.

Really, you did the right thing.

 

[Compley]

Well done, sir.

 

[DARLINGSAPPHIRE]

I am truly glad that the animals (goats) were not real. I love animals and could never, ever
do any harm to them.

 

[Worgen]

My only gaming regrets come from WoW. No, I don't mean investing time in it, but quite the opposite. I played from just before Ahn'Qiraj (so the end of 2005) to the end of 2007; almost 2 years exact. I was a bit of a newb starting out, as we all were, and was pretty useless with keeping my money.

I distinctly remember a level 60 Gnome Warrior, on Jubei'thos, offering to sell a 'blue' weapon around my level, which was mid to high 20s, I think. I asked him how much he wanted, and he said "20g". Crap, I only had like... 80 silver. That's .8g, for those who don't play WoW. I explained that I couldn't buy the weapon, and apologised for wasting his time.

"Screw it" he said, "I'll give it to you anyway. I only picked it up when running a guildy through an instance, it's no big deal."

And he gave it to me. Being a massive newb (I was only 13 when I started, so yeah), I only really got exasperation and impatience from people, and for someone to just be nice was unheard of. Then later on, when I got to level 40, he helped me pay for my mount. He was a friendly guy to me, and from what I got was that he was older, probably around 20s or something. Typical WoW player. The patience he showed to a young lad of 13/14 was remarkable.

Anyway, I took a brief hiatus a bit later from that point, and when I came back, he was gone. Character deleted. Bummer.

Anyway, after I quit in '07, I eventually came back, about 3 months ago (about). I already had 2 level capped characters in BC, so I knew the mechanics of the game, and I picked up the rest very easily. Being so 'leet', I tended to be impatient and even a bit rude with newbies, because, hey, I didn't want to waste my time with em, despite starting on a new server. Well one day, recently I was being a bit of a douche to a person who took a sarcastic remark as a serious one, and thought I needed their help. I remembered this guy from 3-4 years prior, and I simply felt ashamed for my actions. This guy, my in-game role model, was kind enough to randomly help a lowbie, even at his own expense. Here I was berating one for no real reason. I changed my tune after that, and now I go out of my way to help new people to the game. If someone asks a question in Global Trade chat, amongst the myriad of rude and inaccurate answers, I always whisper them the right one. It's the least I can do.

So here's a shout out to you Guga, level 60 Gnome Warrior from Jubei'thos. I remember you, and I appreciate what you did for a lost kid.

thats probably one of the most touching stories to ever come out of wow

 

[econael]

I remember when I played Fable and was at the decision wether to kill the main char's sister (for the supposedly best weapon in the game, which it turned out not to be) or let her live.
When playing RPGs I sometimes decide at the beginning whether I'll be good as usual or try to be evil and wicked for once. So I killed her and a friend of mine who was watching didn't take it easily.
"How could you do it?", he asked. "Kill your own sister. Your own flesh and blood!!"
'But it's just a game', "No it isn't!"
I tried to explain to him how I play RPGs and that I tried to be the evil and wicked one this time but he only replied "I'm disappointed in you"

Btw, how could you kill the goat? It's like kicking your own dog who loves you anyway. Cruel.

 

[econael]

@tysonius
I have noticed the same. I wanted to play an evil char in Fallout 3 recently but I could not.
Maybe it's because the games have become advanced enough for us to fear (ingame-)repercussions for bad behaviour.

 

[Initial J]

I hadn't read this before but I must say: "Wow." That was simply amazing. I personally really like this kind of articles and the ending was one of the most epic ones I've ever read or seen:

There is an old proverb that says "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." In my case, when all I had was a dagger, everything looked like a goat.

I must send this article to couple of my friends who don't visit Escapist (for anything else except for Unskippable and Zero Punctuation).

@tysonius
I have noticed the same. I wanted to play an evil char in Fallout 3 recently but I could not.
Maybe it's because the games have become advanced enough for us to fear (ingame-)repercussions for bad behaviour.

Some of my friends have the same "problem". I personally can play evil character in Fallout 3 without any problems (going around Megaton killing every one of 'em before finally blowing the whole place up is no problem for me) but I really doubt that I could kill the helpless goat just like that. Humans (characters) tend to have way to annoy you one way or another which makes it easier to kill 'em but something like simple goat which does nothing to you is just adorable, something that I would like to protect (well maybe first kill it couple of times but still..).

 

[EmeraldGreen]

Seeing "Kill Billy" in the Best Of issue put a smile on my face. It's one of my favourite articles of the year - possibly my absolute favourite - and I really enjoyed reading it again. Bravo!