Rockstar Chooses Boring Mustache to Feature in Red Dead Redemption

[Tom Goldman]

Rockstar Chooses Boring Mustache to Feature in Red Dead Redemption

The winner of Rockstar Games' Movember mustache contest has been chosen, but he grew a pretty boring mustache.

There's a guy that deserves to be hunted down and killed in a videogame. I should probably calm myself a few levels, as this whole contest was held to highlight men's health issues along with an event called Movember and all that. However, this chosen mustache, it just sends me into a rage.


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[Generic_Dave]

Somebody has a friend or a relation at Rockstar...either that or no-one entered. I have friends who grew better 'taches than that for Movember!

 

[Armored Prayer]

I agree that mustache is nothing special.

Now that mustache in the image below, thats a mustache.

Hell I'd award that guy with something just for his awesome mustache.

 

[Gildan Bladeborn]

My D&D group was just looking at pictures of the world mustache competition winners for some reason that escapes me now a couple of days ago. Believe me, that 'absurd curly handlebar mustache' is run of the mill and sensible compared to some of the facial hair creations those dudes are sporting.

 

[Riobux]

This is a tragedy worth crying yourself to sleep tonight about. Out of all the masculine manly moustaches, they chose this?!

Tragic, really tragic.

 

[Skreeee]

It's sad that they went with what they did. There's so much inspiration out there there's not excuse for going with something so plain.

Just look, there's even championships they could have been looking into! http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/

 

[300lb. Samoan]

Screw that, what that game needs is A GUY WITH A MUSTACHE ON THE BACK OF HIS BALD HEAD - THAT'S AWESOME! (click the link in the article and you'll see it.)

 

[Hiphophippo]

You googled "badass mustache" didn't you?

At any rate, I would fucking kill for this myself but sadly my heritage prevents me from such glory.

 

[TimeLord]

Now that mustache in the image below, thats a mustache.

You call that a mustache?

This is a mustache!

Spoiler

 

[JEBWrench]

That is more of a Van Dyke with the middle shaved off. Goatee would be sans the moustache and just chin hairs.

Yeah, the winner there essentially has an anti-goatee.

If it was truly to be a best mustache contest, then only this man should win:

His mustache sends fear into the hearts of men.

 

[The Sorrow]

Ambrose Burnside owns your asses.

 

[Jared]

Ambrose Burnside owns your asses.

That wins an internet! Why cant we have something more like that!

 

[Therumancer]

I agree, that mustache doesn't seem very distinctive. I would have expected them to find something really incredible since it's a bit character and then make people deny it could possibly have existed on a real person.

That said, I'll chalk it up to the gradual decline in Rockstar over the years (to me at least).

 

[oppp7]

I agree. That mustache they choose isn't nearly as awesome as that curled handlebar guy.
Seriously, that (winning) guy's face looks like it's eating itself...

 

[Olikunmissile]

That is a rather epic moustache that fellow is sporting.

 

[Hiphophippo]

You googled "badass mustache" didn't you?

At any rate, I would fucking kill for this myself but sadly my heritage prevents me from such glory.

NO.
I just googled it
It isn't in the 1st half of the 1st page. There are a few tho.

Second posting on my search.

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

This is a mustache!

Spoiler

All hail the Octo-stache.

Why wouldn't they use that picture? The one they chose is just... boring.

 

[NamesAreHardToPick]

God you guys are 'stache noobs. Facial hair's as easy to read as make-up on clowns or hookers. For example, if people were shot on sight for having a 'stache/goatee combo in videogames and movies you'd kill something like EVERY backstabbing friend/advisor/etc-turned-villain before they could make trouble. In a JRPG I played recently there was an elf with a long, wavy chin beard and I knew immediately he was gonna cross me. 30 hours later HA! CALLED IT.

Think about what the shape of the stuff you guys are trying to show off says about the character of the wearer:
Long hair shows vulnerability... maybe someone's mood is easy to spoil (viking) or they're unwell or frail (fu manchu).
Up-turned shapes are like a huge smile, all joyful and cheery.
The mustaches you guys are pimping might be great to protray some happy grandpa, or banker, or shop-keeper. They're shite to represent a minor villain.

Rockstar's choice is:
* Short so it doesn't get in the way and messed up = this is a practical man of action.
* Down-turned shape = our guy looks un-happy, maybe even a little regretful.
(if you wanted "dangerous" or "angry", you'd need something bristly like a viking or our man Burnside)
* bare chin = not very tricky, a schemer needs chin-hairs to stroke while plotting his evil
* It's easy to shave following the natural lines of your face, but this 'stache is trimmed in just a bit... looks natural enough for a tough guy but this is a high-maintenance feature, he's gotta trim it carefully and regularly or else it's gonna look like crap = our boy is a little bit metro (I guess it would be a "dandy" back then) conscious of his appearance and spends time and money looking good.