#6

[TLatshaw]

As long as both generations make an attempt to keep games an open venue of discussion, it shouldn't become a point of contention. If you treat gaming sessions like a private, exclusive event, then of course parents will come to resent them. Even if they're cynical at first, dont retaliate. Talk about the good points of the games you play--without babbling like a psycho fan--and for goodness sakes drop the controller now and then when they ask you to do something. That will win mega points.

That's my experience, at least. Back in the day (oh Lord, I have a day old enough to go back to...), my parents had plenty of reservations toward gaming. After some time, though, they could identify an impressive number of characters simply through my noting of them over the years and have even shown interest in trying games out now and then. Just be considerate and patient, and most older generations will come to some higher form of acceptance.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

I can understand why people have a certain distaste towards gaming. But the problem is that most of their fears and worries are unfounded and the only way they could begin to speak on the topic knowledgeably they would have to know about games themselves. Like our good Dr Mark here, who can say things about games because he plays them and is a psychologist.

 

[Tele-screen]

The negative public/mass media perception is what fuels this drive to single out video games from other forms of media. We may soon have a video game case tried in the US Supreme Court that could put into law this misunderstanding about video games. Imagine if that had happened during the outrage over comic books back in the day...

 

[Aurgelmir]

Another very well written article.

I think I have been blessed with parents that understood that games was not just a kids toy, but something that has a deep entertainment value.
I am now 27, so its not like my parents have any say in the matter anyways.

One thing I always tried to do though was to talk about the games I played, and use them as anecdotes if fitting in a conversation with them. This way they could learn more about the games.

Now lets go back in time to when I was a kid; I did have some rules and regulations on my gaming. For a long it me I wasn't allowed to play games during the school week. This was mainly because I had a tendency not to bother with my homework (not that I became better after they revoked my gaming )

Then when I got older, I was not allowed to play any violent games in front of my younger brother. Which I think was okey, although what was a violent game is sort of a question of interpretation, so I happily continued to play my Final Fantasy 7

Oh and I was never allowed to have a TV in my room, which helped my parents keep an eye on what I was doing.

All in all I think it is correct to set some rules on gaming, not because it is evil, but because it is clever. I mean most kids have rules on how early they are allowed to watch television, and when they should go to bed.
But at the same time parents should be reasonable, and try and use logic instead of "because I say so" reasoning with the children.

Games are not evil, but that doesn't mean all games are for everyone. Because not all games are made for children.
And I think that is the problem parents and the media needs to understand. There are children's books, children's movies, and children's theater shows... and guess what there are adult games

 

[manitoublack]

Growing up we didn't have a home PC until 1997 (never been a console in my parents place,) and even then it was crap. Finally bought my own in year 11 (2001, cost me $2000 as a high school student, that was big cash!!) and got stuck into some serious: No One Lives Forever. Fortunately I had other more pressing issues: School, Music, girl friend,partying, MTB riding... So it was only ever a spare time thing and still is(go team blue in TF2: "Push Little Cart!!,") as being an engineer takes up 12hours a day now. I did have to fight my mum tooth and nail for a game boy (those were the days) in 1994 though...

Critically though any form of entertainment is fine in moderation. Excess is where it becomes a problem, especially when it begins to marginalize those closest to you and those that may depend or look up to you...

This might be a good talking point for you DR. Mark: (note: following is real and is currently playing on my mind rather seriously)

A friend of mine (age 26, previous Wow junkie) now with a loving wife, beautiful infant daughter and a trade behind him (Industrial electrician,) quit his job and is now playing +10 hours a day WoW. This in direct neglect to his wife, child and general sanitary conditions around his house. I'm not sure what the best angle of attack is, as (correct me if I'm wrong) it can't be healthy for his daughter (who's just started walking) to see her father obviously addicted to WoW, (thanks Cataclysm ) neglecting obviously more important things to play that game. Most notably her, his wife and their living standards??

His wife is studying Full-Time and working the late shift to make ends meet. And while they do have savings (which they are basically living off) it strikes me as a potentially serious problem in the making. They're all great people and good friends, however I can see it all going terribly wrong :/ I've already lost 1 mate to WoW (MIA since 2004) I don't want to lose another. Much less a child to grow up without a father should the marriage break down because of this

Feels good to get it into the open.
Namewitheldforprivacy.

 

[GuruJ]

Dr. Mark, I was wondering -- you say:

When I was a kid, we used to talk about sports, NASA, or some insipid TV show, but now, gaming is topic number one. If a kid isn't knowledgeable, he will be left out of much of the discussion.

Do you feel that this applies as much to girls and boys these days? Or is gaming still a "boy" thing to obsess about?

 

[Epitome]

Dr. Mark, I was wondering -- you say:

When I was a kid, we used to talk about sports, NASA, or some insipid TV show, but now, gaming is topic number one. If a kid isn't knowledgeable, he will be left out of much of the discussion.

Do you feel that this applies as much to girls and boys these days? Or is gaming still a "boy" thing to obsess about?

Not any more, there are plenty of statistics to show how many females game these days, the gender divide is long gone though thats not to say there are not plenty issues female gamers face but by and large its a unisex medium of entertainment these days.

As for the article very well written Dr. Mark, the most unhealthy thing about my gaming habit really is the sleep aspect of it though. I try and maintain a fairly healthy social/gaming/exercise/work balance. But always find myself cutting back on sleep rather than cutting back on any of my pursuits. Nowadays I have about 4 hours sleep a night, maybe another hour and a half on a train and during the weekends I get my 8 hours.

Ever since I was a kid I have gamed, I loved the strike games for the SEGA, I was the only kid in the class with a NES, then a SNES, SEGA, N64, PSX, PS2, 360, 360,.... 360 (F**king RROD's lol). But since I was about 6 gaming has been a part of my life. I probably did neglect some of the more important aspects of my life for it but by and large I would have considered it just another hobby. Something to talk about with friends, something to do when friends came over etc.

As for the medium itself being harmful I hate that arguement, if the child can learn the differance between reality and fantasy then they can choose for themselves what they want to play. That was always the way for me, if I was mature enough to handle it I was allowed to play it. I was like 10 when I had GTA, MGS, Silent hill etc Children are more than capable of playing games without becoming disturbed with only minimal regulation by parents.

 

[Rect Pola]

I thought this was an excellent argument for why our loved ones hate our past-time.
http://www.gamespy.com/articles/107/1076963p1.html

It's written as a humor, but it brings up a lot of explanations in plain language the people who hate games will never come out and say.

 

[Servus]

I had to talk with my mother about playing with (guess what) WoW too much. We lived in a small village at the end of the world (it's surprising that there was broadband internet). So I told her that outside of school this game is my only way to socialize with people of my age and similar interests. And she could accept this.

I think parent often don't state their needs and requests clearly (and not only about games). If I will have to ever deal with this issue with my children I will tell them what chores I request them to do, what time I want them to go to bed, and at least how much exercise they should get, etc. If they can meet these conditions they can play as much as they wish.

And an easy way to silence complaining parents is to point out that alternatives to computer games can be a lot more expensive. "Well, I could go to kung-fu trainigs. And I like capoeira too. I wouldn't mind going to the swimming pool a few times a week. And I really would like to do rock climbing. Or I could play wargames. Can we buy a warhammer army? Oh. We don't have money for that? Too bad. I'm going back to my room then, and..."
Of course this is not an excuse for everything. There are a lot of things to do for free.

 

[SnipErlite]

Two hours a day?

Damn, I've been going over that for the past decade, and I'm nowhere near what anyone would call a hardcore or serious gamer. I don't think I've been ruined........ :S I think?

My parents aren't too worried about my gaming habits, and my dad plays an occasional bit every now and then. It really depends on the parents and how much experience they've had with gaming.

 

[Vzzdak]

Well, I can't really disagree, but I don't believe that going over 2 hours of screen time is dangerous.

Being that there are a fixed 24 hours in a day, and there are other activities that need be doing, maintaining a habit of two hours is probably good for balance, much like taking care in one's dietary intake. Of course, games being such fun, it's easy to (perhaps) stay up a little late playing games, especially if one is in a clan/corporation/supergroup.

However, there was a 60 Minutes article (Spring 2009) that discussed the effects of not getting a decent amount of sleep each night. As part of the study, subjects were monitored whilst they slept, and sharp noises were used whenever a subject was bordering on deep sleep (i.e., REM sleep). An important observation was that after about six days of preventing deep sleep, subjects were exhibiting early onset of Type-2 diabetes.

Another detail about deep sleep. To achieve an optimum deep sleep, one needs dark conditions (i.e., not some dim light left on), and as much as three hours before REM sleep "kicks in." So if there are noisy neighbours, or there is a pet that gets feisty at night, consider how that interferes with one's sleep schedule.

Ever since that 60 Minutes article, I started practicing a more consistent sleeping habit (i.e., no late night gaming sessions). Not only am I finding myself refreshed enough to hit the gym before work, but I'm finding that I no longer need to set the alarm clock.

 

[Vzzdak]

Two hours a day?

Damn, I've been going over that for the past decade, and I'm nowhere near what anyone would call a hardcore or serious gamer. I don't think I've been ruined........ :S I think?

My parents aren't too worried about my gaming habits, and my dad plays an occasional bit every now and then. It really depends on the parents and how much experience they've had with gaming.

Parenting is more about providing guidelines that help the kid develop good habits, and ultimately the kid will learn what works well (i.e., trial and error).

I'm a casual gamer that has been active for about thirty years of gaming, and I remember those warm summer nights as a teenager playing Planetfall, Elite or Ultima IV into the wee hours of the morning. Good fun, and I'd say that I survived the experience.

Exercise, eat healthily, develop good relations with people, and get good training for work that you enjoy. Having these things helps one to sleep easier at night, provided that one can resist playing, "Just five more minutes...."

 

[FinalHeart95]

I only really game at night now. I used to game 24/7, but since then I've had more schoolwork, more activities (mainly marching band at the moment), and a larger social life. So, to be honest, I probably barely hit the 2 hour mark for gaming now.

Still, it's kinda funny to think about writing as being a technology that parents were afraid of, seeing as it's essential to pretty much everything we do now.

 

[mkline]

Dr. Mark, I was wondering -- you say:

When I was a kid, we used to talk about sports, NASA, or some insipid TV show, but now, gaming is topic number one. If a kid isn't knowledgeable, he will be left out of much of the discussion.

Do you feel that this applies as much to girls and boys these days? Or is gaming still a "boy" thing to obsess about?

I pretty much agree with Epitome on this--I think the gender divide is breaking down (my two daughters are playing The Sims as I write this so that may be affecting my judgement). I think gaming is the hottest topic among boys aged 8-16. It really has become what they talk about and how you show you are cool. This is less true for girls, but to even have a social identity as a 12-16 year old girl these days, you have to be an ardent facebooker--and there are many games girls play even beyond The Sims. I just think posturing about how which games you play and how good you are at them is probably still more a guy thing.

I'd happily posture about how great I am at Starcraft II if I could........

 

[Jared]

Readin through that actually made alot of sense...and, It certainly agrees with alot of the theories I had myself

 

[Electrogecko]

I've always said that gaming is the ultimate form of entertainment. (because it's 100% true) Games are the combination of all current forms of electronic entertainment and some non-electronic. Games can tell a story better than movies or t.v, and arguably better than novels. They can have classical, orchestral, or synthesised music that's more than worthy of being on your ipod. They can present the most brilliant and beautiful worlds that you have ever seen, and make these worlds feel tangible and immersive, which makes them better than paintings or sculptures in every way. (except requiring the PHYSICAL skill of an artist) They can challenge the mind with the types of puzzles that are impossible to put in a newspaper, most of which would make crossword and sudoku masters cringe. They can connect us to friends and family, whether they be in the same room or on the other side of the planet, on a much more personal and meaningful level than a phone call or facebook/twitter can. They can give us a virtual playground where you can share an unbelievable experience with friends who you may not get to see often. These experiences can be cooperative or competetive, emotionally impactful, and can form friendships and trust with people from accross the world. Games can also prepare you for real life scenarios and let you gain real world experience in a safe environment.

A videogame can be anything, and anything can be a videogame. The reason it's such a phenomenon is not because we're addicted. It's because it's fricken awesome!!!

 

[SnipErlite]

Parenting is more about providing guidelines that help the kid develop good habits, and ultimately the kid will learn what works well (i.e., trial and error).

I'm a casual gamer that has been active for about thirty years of gaming, and I remember those warm summer nights as a teenager playing Planetfall, Elite or Ultima IV into the wee hours of the morning. Good fun, and I'd say that I survived the experience.

Exercise, eat healthily, develop good relations with people, and get good training for work that you enjoy. Having these things helps one to sleep easier at night, provided that one can resist playing, "Just five more minutes...."

Oh most definitely, I can say that I've stayed up ridiculously late and played games for about 7 hours in a day on a few occasions. It makes my brain ache ^_^

Just remember: With most games, five more minutes in most games means about half an hour. Five more minutes while playing Supreme Commander means about 4 hours. Heh.