________ did it first!

[Sporky111]

In this game, the first poster will write an achievement of some sort (preferably real, but not necessarily) by any person real or fictional. The next poster will then post somebody (most likely fictional) who did it first. A description of how they did it is optional.

EX:

Poster 1: EA killed Kane!

Poster 2: GDI did it first! (several times actually)

It doesn't have to make sense, but bonus points if it's stinging humor. I'll start in SuperBowl spirit:
I wear no pants.

 

[oppp7]

Link did it first.
Link killed Ganon.

 

[TheIr0nMike]

I did it first. (I put my name instead of Link the first time I played)

I saved a dying thread.

 

[ottenni]

Furburt did it already.

I head banged to Beethoven.

 

[oppp7]

Rocky did it first.
Rocky punched a brick wall down.

 

[RussetRanger]

Guido did it first.
Guido shot at Hans Solo.

 

[oppp7]

Ruby did it first.
Ruby flew a plane.

 

[Vrex360]

The Sangheili did it first.

The Sangheili destroyed humanity.

 

[oppp7]

The Orcs did it first.
The Orcs invaded China.

 

[j1-2themax]

The Mongolians did it first.

The Mongolians ruled the world.

 

[RavingPenguin]

Hitler did it first.

Hitler ruined a moustache.

 

[oppp7]

Outlaws did it first.
Outlaws robbed a bank.

 

[Sporky111]

John Dillinger did it first (before he was an outlaw. It's a well known fact)

Chris Angel lit himself on fire

 

[oppp7]

Illidan did it first.
Illidan has pointy ears.

 

[Sleekgiant]

Catgirls did it first

Catgirls creep certain people out