Something I wrote a short while ago and found just now in a dark corner on my hard drive. It's definitely not me at my best, but I figured it might amuse a couple of you...
A Gamer's Lament
Gather round and heed my words,
For on some issues we diverge,
These arguments and pointless fights,
Will lead one day to our demise.
Is a gamer who plays Fallout 3,
Better than one who owns a Wii?
And Halo is a source of strife,
When we compare it to Half-Life.
Which franchise lived up to the hype,
Infamous or Prototype?
Which game had the better stealth,
Metal Gear or Splinter Cell?
Where to aim for, arms or head?
In Dead Space, or in Left 4 Dead.
Was RE5 really all that fun,
When you can't move while you hold a gun?
Which action game stands up on high,
God of War or Devil May Cry?
Treyarch or Infinity Ward?
Modern Warfare or World at War?
These versus threads are meaningless,
When there's so much more we can discuss.
Which leader did we all elect,
At the end of Mass Effect?
Did we go out of our way,
To help the cons in Butcher Bay?
How many times did you fall off a ledge,
In the course of playing Mirror's Edge?
So I ask you now my friends,
Are we not gamers to the end?
Like the time when as one we all cried,
In FF7 when Aeris died.
Why are we backed against a wall,
When there's games out there to please us all?
Strategy like C&C,
Shooter games like Halo 3,
Extreme sports like SSX,
Hybrid games like Deus Ex.
Quirky games like Killer7,
Psychonauts or Brutal Legend.
Why's the Sony fan an enemy,
Of someone who plays on the PC?
The Wii is for the casual man,
Someone not bothered by specs or RAM,
But remember that they're gamers too,
If only for an hour or two.
With EA making good decisions,
Set your sights on Activision,
Raising prices, this and that,
Bobby Kotick, what a twat.
For though now we are divided,
As gamers we should stand united.
A Gamer's Lament
Gather round and heed my words,
For on some issues we diverge,
These arguments and pointless fights,
Will lead one day to our demise.
Is a gamer who plays Fallout 3,
Better than one who owns a Wii?
And Halo is a source of strife,
When we compare it to Half-Life.
Which franchise lived up to the hype,
Infamous or Prototype?
Which game had the better stealth,
Metal Gear or Splinter Cell?
Where to aim for, arms or head?
In Dead Space, or in Left 4 Dead.
Was RE5 really all that fun,
When you can't move while you hold a gun?
Which action game stands up on high,
God of War or Devil May Cry?
Treyarch or Infinity Ward?
Modern Warfare or World at War?
These versus threads are meaningless,
When there's so much more we can discuss.
Which leader did we all elect,
At the end of Mass Effect?
Did we go out of our way,
To help the cons in Butcher Bay?
How many times did you fall off a ledge,
In the course of playing Mirror's Edge?
So I ask you now my friends,
Are we not gamers to the end?
Like the time when as one we all cried,
In FF7 when Aeris died.
Why are we backed against a wall,
When there's games out there to please us all?
Strategy like C&C,
Shooter games like Halo 3,
Extreme sports like SSX,
Hybrid games like Deus Ex.
Quirky games like Killer7,
Psychonauts or Brutal Legend.
Why's the Sony fan an enemy,
Of someone who plays on the PC?
The Wii is for the casual man,
Someone not bothered by specs or RAM,
But remember that they're gamers too,
If only for an hour or two.
With EA making good decisions,
Set your sights on Activision,
Raising prices, this and that,
Bobby Kotick, what a twat.
For though now we are divided,
As gamers we should stand united.
