[HEADING=1]A Hypnotic Review[/HEADING]
Let's start with the combat. Hit X to hurt things, B to kill things. Hit X in different ways to hurt things in different ways. Hit B to finish them off. Also, Hit B to insta-kill really weak enemies like spiders without hurting them first. Oh, and if you are really crazy, hit Y to hurt things with one of two subweapons. There are also "Wrath Powers" that use a Wrath Gauge, but they tend to be EXTREMELY underwhelming in power considering how long it takes to fill the gauges and how much they cost to buy and upgrade. You can also attach thingys to your three weapons to make them stronger, but its nothing drastic. In fact, the passive bonuses (not attached to a weapon) tend to be MUCH better that the Slotted (equipped) bonuses.
Oh, and you can counter attack it you time your block correctly, but I never need to do so, and never did after learning how. You can also dash out of the way at any time, but the developers mapped Block and Dash to the SAME FUCKING BUTTON, leading to me blocking when I wanted to dodge a few times. But this game is so easy, the hits I took never mattered. I literally went through the whole game only dying because of the lack of health pickups, slowly wearing me down.
You may have heard comparisons to Zelda, but Zelda games give you hearts ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Darksiders gives you health3 4 ways. You can buy an expensive healing item to use it (or buy new moves for slightly more money), rarely dropped green souls from dead enemies and crows (kill crows for health, it helps and the game never tells you), and one time use only health chests found around the environment. The top-secret fourth way is dying. Sometimes, before a boss, I'll go get myself killed so that my health will be restored to about 2/3 of its maximum, with no penalty other than respawning at the room entrance.
They introduced these cool arena battles in the first half of the game, where you have to beat specific challenges in arenas scattered around the area to open the way to the next area, but only use them twice before acting like they never existed.
You can buy new moves, but there aren't many, and you have to buy them three times for the full version, although whether or not the money for Level 2 and 3 is worth it is debatable.
This is where the Zelda comparisons come in. They rip dungeons and puzzle solving items straight from the Zelda playbook.
Here's how they do it in Zelda:
Step One: Have player enter dungeon.
Step Two: Block off rooms and other areas of the dungeon until the player gets Item A.
Step Three: Use Item A around the dungeon to solve puzzles of gradually increasing difficulty to obtain items such as the Map and Compass (shows where treasure is).
Step Four: Fight Miniboss.
Step Five: Fight Boss using Item A.
Here's how they do it in Darksiders:
Step One: Have player enter dungeon.
Step Two: Block off rooms and other areas of the dungeon until the player gets Item A.
Step Three: Use Item A around the dungeon to solve puzzles of gradually increasing difficulty to obtain items such as the Map and Hoardseeker (shows where treasure is).
Step Four: Fight Miniboss.
Step Five: Fight Boss using Item A.
You even get a boomerang, hookshot, and horse.
But, hey, it works. You also can then go around the overworld with a kinda fast travel system. For fast-travel: They make you walk along a winding pathway above an abyss for about 30 seconds. I'd rather just load...because you have to walk from one end of the path to the other and can't progress until you do. You can also use dungeon items around the overworld to find power ups such as Life Stone Shards (Collect 4 to increase health by one bar, like Pieces of Heart in Zelda) and Wrath Shards (collect 4 to...FIGURE IT OUT).
You can also ride a horse about halfway through the game, but only in areas that the game lets you. Which is pretty much wide open areas with no ceiling, where you would want the horse. But not the long, empty corridors that you would also want the horse for.
Oh, and the portal gun sucks. I literally did the same puzzle with it three times in one hour. And it can only be used on specific pads, so its really easy to figure out what to do. They basically solve the puzzles for you. But it's got a cool use in the final boss of its dungeon.
The plot sucks. They had a cool idea going with the "Horseman of the Apocalypse", but it sucks. The ending is short and sudden, making me think that I accidentally skipped one of the ending scenes or something.This game has boring exposition, and takes itself seriously. If this game had come out a few weeks earlier, War would be one of my least favorite characters of the entire decade. He rarely talks, and when he does, he says something stupid. He is gruff, blunt, and a kind of a dick. Which he shouldn't be, because we are supposed to feel sympathy for this guy. Mark Hamill is the best part, as your tormentor, but his talent is really wasted here. Then again, there are worse games on his record [http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000434/].
This game is gorgeous. I'll let it speak for itself.
The animation is solid, so everything moves smoothly. Which is a great thing with all the killing you'll be doing.
This is where my last two reviews provided really good music.
The music isn't bad...It's just that nothing stuck with me, so there is nothing that I want to share with you all. Feel free to throw on your custom soundtrack for this one.
This review is based on the 360 version of Darksiders. On "Normal".
Completion Time: About 15 hours.
Time in Combat (game keeps track of this, too): about 4 hours
All in all, there's a lot to like about Darksiders. I just have one major problem with it, the only original thing it did was make the apocalypse colorful, and they still did the apocalypse, likes everyone else seems to like doing. It had a chance with the story, but blew it. So, I'll say this...If you have a PS3, and can wait for God of War 3, then just wait. If you have a 360, think about picking it up. Just know that everything it does is done better somewhere else.
And one more thing. This game and Bayonetta [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.169199] are nothing alike. The comparisons are pointless.
[HEADING=2]Darksiders[/HEADING]
Our hero, War, and Mark Hamill, err...The Watcher.
[HEADING=3]Introduction[/HEADING]
I really wanted to like Darksiders, and for the most part, I did. But there is one glaring issue that may just affect the 360 version, or just my copy, or all versions. When I boot up the game, I am left staring at a black screen for about a minute before the standard "THQ", Vigil Games, etc. appear. Not bad on its own, but the title screen has more issues. When I "Press Start", there is a noticeable 30 seconds lag before I can get to "New Game", "Continue", etc. All in all, that's about 2 minutes before I can even load my game. Not a problem for those of us with a lot of time on our hands, but if you tend to play in short bursts, this will add up quickly. That's all.[HEADING=3]Killin' Demons[/HEADING]
Let's start with the combat. Hit X to hurt things, B to kill things. Hit X in different ways to hurt things in different ways. Hit B to finish them off. Also, Hit B to insta-kill really weak enemies like spiders without hurting them first. Oh, and if you are really crazy, hit Y to hurt things with one of two subweapons. There are also "Wrath Powers" that use a Wrath Gauge, but they tend to be EXTREMELY underwhelming in power considering how long it takes to fill the gauges and how much they cost to buy and upgrade. You can also attach thingys to your three weapons to make them stronger, but its nothing drastic. In fact, the passive bonuses (not attached to a weapon) tend to be MUCH better that the Slotted (equipped) bonuses.
Oh, and you can counter attack it you time your block correctly, but I never need to do so, and never did after learning how. You can also dash out of the way at any time, but the developers mapped Block and Dash to the SAME FUCKING BUTTON, leading to me blocking when I wanted to dodge a few times. But this game is so easy, the hits I took never mattered. I literally went through the whole game only dying because of the lack of health pickups, slowly wearing me down.
You may have heard comparisons to Zelda, but Zelda games give you hearts ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Darksiders gives you health
They introduced these cool arena battles in the first half of the game, where you have to beat specific challenges in arenas scattered around the area to open the way to the next area, but only use them twice before acting like they never existed.
You can buy new moves, but there aren't many, and you have to buy them three times for the full version, although whether or not the money for Level 2 and 3 is worth it is debatable.
[HEADING=3]Exploring Post-Apocalyiptia[/HEADING]
This is where the Zelda comparisons come in. They rip dungeons and puzzle solving items straight from the Zelda playbook.
Here's how they do it in Zelda:
Step One: Have player enter dungeon.
Step Two: Block off rooms and other areas of the dungeon until the player gets Item A.
Step Three: Use Item A around the dungeon to solve puzzles of gradually increasing difficulty to obtain items such as the Map and Compass (shows where treasure is).
Step Four: Fight Miniboss.
Step Five: Fight Boss using Item A.
Here's how they do it in Darksiders:
Step One: Have player enter dungeon.
Step Two: Block off rooms and other areas of the dungeon until the player gets Item A.
Step Three: Use Item A around the dungeon to solve puzzles of gradually increasing difficulty to obtain items such as the Map and Hoardseeker (shows where treasure is).
Step Four: Fight Miniboss.
Step Five: Fight Boss using Item A.
You even get a boomerang, hookshot, and horse.
But, hey, it works. You also can then go around the overworld with a kinda fast travel system. For fast-travel: They make you walk along a winding pathway above an abyss for about 30 seconds. I'd rather just load...because you have to walk from one end of the path to the other and can't progress until you do. You can also use dungeon items around the overworld to find power ups such as Life Stone Shards (Collect 4 to increase health by one bar, like Pieces of Heart in Zelda) and Wrath Shards (collect 4 to...FIGURE IT OUT).
You can also ride a horse about halfway through the game, but only in areas that the game lets you. Which is pretty much wide open areas with no ceiling, where you would want the horse. But not the long, empty corridors that you would also want the horse for.
Oh, and the portal gun sucks. I literally did the same puzzle with it three times in one hour. And it can only be used on specific pads, so its really easy to figure out what to do. They basically solve the puzzles for you. But it's got a cool use in the final boss of its dungeon.
[HEADING=3]Once upon a time...They hired Mark Hamill for this shitty plot.[/HEADING]
War is voiced by the guy who did Gaara in the English dub. Which I watched right up until the part where the hokage was killed and they introduced Sasuke's older brother.
The plot sucks. They had a cool idea going with the "Horseman of the Apocalypse", but it sucks. The ending is short and sudden, making me think that I accidentally skipped one of the ending scenes or something.This game has boring exposition, and takes itself seriously. If this game had come out a few weeks earlier, War would be one of my least favorite characters of the entire decade. He rarely talks, and when he does, he says something stupid. He is gruff, blunt, and a kind of a dick. Which he shouldn't be, because we are supposed to feel sympathy for this guy. Mark Hamill is the best part, as your tormentor, but his talent is really wasted here. Then again, there are worse games on his record [http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000434/].
[HEADING=3]The Apocalypse never looked so good...[/HEADING]
This game is gorgeous. I'll let it speak for itself.
The animation is solid, so everything moves smoothly. Which is a great thing with all the killing you'll be doing.
[HEADING=3]Apocalyptic Soundtrack[/HEADING]
This is where my last two reviews provided really good music.
The music isn't bad...It's just that nothing stuck with me, so there is nothing that I want to share with you all. Feel free to throw on your custom soundtrack for this one.
[HEADING=3]The End of the Review as we know it.[/HEADING]
This review is based on the 360 version of Darksiders. On "Normal".
Completion Time: About 15 hours.
Time in Combat (game keeps track of this, too): about 4 hours
All in all, there's a lot to like about Darksiders. I just have one major problem with it, the only original thing it did was make the apocalypse colorful, and they still did the apocalypse, likes everyone else seems to like doing. It had a chance with the story, but blew it. So, I'll say this...If you have a PS3, and can wait for God of War 3, then just wait. If you have a 360, think about picking it up. Just know that everything it does is done better somewhere else.
And one more thing. This game and Bayonetta [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.169199] are nothing alike. The comparisons are pointless.
Bayonetta [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.169199]
Oblivion [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.168962]
Oblivion [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.168962]
