A lost friend

[Keela]

Well, I don't really feel up to a witty introduction in my current mood, so I'll cut to the heart of my problem.

I've been friends with this girl, for the sake of anonymity, I will name her Lindsey for this thread. I've known Lindsey since the beginning of last year (freshman year for us). I didn't really know how to approach her though, as I knew nothing of her outside of class, so I was embarassingly awkward in attempting to approach her. I recently grew a pair due to my success with other girls, so I attempted to approach her on Facebook through the email system (I have seen her and talked to her a few times this year, but I've only had the fortune of meeting her a few times). I recieved no reply for any of my three messages, which I sent at around two-week intervals. After the third message (which I sent today), she de-friended me and blocked her profile. I didn't say anything remotely intrusive, vulgar, suggestive, or otherwise offensive to her in my entire time knowing her, and I have not the slightest idea why she is avoiding me.

I'm sort of at a loss here, and I doubt anyone on here will understand this situation any better than I do. My only friend I've discussed this with has no idea either, but he suggested I attempt to approach her in real life. Anyone else have any contributions?

 

[Zedayen]

When you say

... attempting to approach her. I recently grew a pair due to my success with other girls, so I attempted to approach her on Facebook through the email system ...

what exactly do you mean by approach? The remark about growing a pair/success with other girls suggests you were after something more than friendship. It sounds sort of like you were trying to ask her out, but without that piece of information the advice might be less effective.

If that is not the case, then it seems as though you might just be a "friend of circumstance," that is, you're only friends during the activity/event you are attending. Like with some work friends, you joke around at work, talk a bit, but you probably wouldn't consider hanging out with them while you're not on the clock, same as some school friends, or people you regularly meet on public transportation. They're more than acquaintances, but they're not quite friends.

If that's not what you think is going on here, and you have only seen her/spoken with her a few times over the course of two years, I would say you're not really friends in the end, and her putting the e-shutdown on you kind of says a similar thing.

Sorry that my post is a bit of a downer.

 

[joe the janitor]

I would suggest you approach her in really life first, then get into all the IM crap. Or maybe she just doesn't want to be friends.

 

[Naheal]

We need more information on this. What's she acting like in person? If we can get that, we can give better advice and insight into the heart of the problem.

 

[6unn3r]

Kinda sad when girls do that to people. Just blocking them for no reason hoping us poor men get the message. Well im sorry lady's but we are NOT mind readers!!!!! If you dont like us then why not just say so? We are simple creatures and telling us somthing to our face tends to get the message across pretty well.

I would suggest moving on mate, plenty more fish in the sea who are willing to talk to you.

*grumble grumble* Going back to my cave now......

 

[Keela]

Ask her in person. There may be a reason for this that isn't readily noticeable. Her friends could have deleted you, for example. Or maybe a guy who 3was on her FaceBook...parents, all sorts of things like that can and do happen. Asking her upfront and in person is the best way to get closure on this, and find out if it was her or someone else. From there, you can choose to move on or stick with her depending on what she says and how you feel about it.

I hope this helps!

We need more information on this. What's she acting like in person? If we can get that, we can give better advice and insight into the heart of the problem.

Saw her in the cafeteria today. I was with some friends, who decided we were going to sit at the table right next to hers. Just my luck, right? Well, "Lindsey" looked at me, her eyes went wide, and she covered her mouth, turned to her friends, and they all started giggling. I thought she was angry with me, oddly enough this makes my situation even more uncomfortable. In fact, I'm now losing motivation to do anything about my current situation because of that act of immaturity. Nevertheless, I'll keep trying. Still haven't had a chance to actually talk to her though. If anyone here is a girl, I hope you can understand this better than me...

 

[Keela]

Sorry that my post is a bit of a downer.

Nonsense! You put forward your opinion, and I'm thankful for that. I was considering just dropping it, it's just that I usually don't care this much if I fall out of friendships. As for whether I had plans beyond friendship, I didn't really. I was just sort of let down since she was nice to me before she even knew my name, which isn't all that common for me. It just frustrates me that she's been ignoring me for so long.

 

[dmase]

Give it up, is the first suggestion. Aylaine lets you hold out hope saying someone else could have deleted you but that also means someone else had to intercept those three mails before she got a chance to look at them and decided not to respond. The reason it took so long to delete you is because most women are weird when it comes to fbook. They don't even delete and abusive ex-bf because well they don't have to talk to them, it doesn't help the situation in the slightest but i've seen it enough to realize its a bit of a trend(with a lot of women).

I think you did something to put her on edge in your emails, i realize this is going a bit to personal but you could post the emails and get it scrutinized by the Internet. If that seems a little bit to out there you could summarize the major points. Sometimes if you have a severe interest in someone you don't realize your getting to the stalkerish point, it just happens.

If you really did send a completely innocent email implying just friends and got no reply then i would blame peer pressure. She says to her friends look who emailed me, one or two that has something against you says ew that guy is weird. At this point where you get no reply you don't send another email!!! I can't stress that enough, and another two thats a bit too far. Talking to her might sort things out, it also might not if you go at this the wrong way, you aren't a part of her inner circle you have to realize there is a slight social divide as you get into highschool. Its kind of stupid and it makes everyone think they have a place but everybody isn't everybody's friends like in grade school.

 

[Zaik]

Well, I don't really feel up to a witty introduction in my current mood, so I'll cut to the heart of my problem.

I've been friends with this girl, for the sake of anonymity, I will name her Lindsey for this thread. I've known Lindsey since the beginning of last year (freshman year for us). I didn't really know how to approach her though, as I knew nothing of her outside of class, so I was embarassingly awkward in attempting to approach her. I recently grew a pair due to my success with other girls, so I attempted to approach her on Facebook through the email system (I have seen her and talked to her a few times this year, but I've only had the fortune of meeting her a few times). I recieved no reply for any of my three messages, which I sent at around two-week intervals. After the third message (which I sent today), she de-friended me and blocked her profile. I didn't say anything remotely intrusive, vulgar, suggestive, or otherwise offensive to her in my entire time knowing her, and I have not the slightest idea why she is avoiding me.

I'm sort of at a loss here, and I doubt anyone on here will understand this situation any better than I do. My only friend I've discussed this with has no idea either, but he suggested I attempt to approach her in real life. Anyone else have any contributions?

It sounds to me like she had a crush on you and then didn't get attention she wanted, so now she's butthurt and shutting you out entirely. It's a ruined relationship and you should not bother with it any further.

Approaching in real life will cause nothing but drama at best, and stalking/sexual harassment accusations more likely.