So long story short. I couldn't ask out a girl in person so instead I asked her out on Facebook...I know, I know, very lame. Anyway, I'm really starting to regret that decision and said girl hasn't responded yet so um... I guess this really isn't a question or anything but any advice? Cause I'm kind of freaking out at the moment... I know it was extremely stupid but I wasn't thinking at the moment. (Also theirs no way to delete the message once it's sent so that's out.)
A mistake...
- Thread starter shwnbob
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There have been plenty of worse ways to ask someone out. That's not even that bad. What with online dating and the like becoming more and more popular, that's pretty common. However, if you do know a person personally yet ask them out online is... a bit awkward but don't freak out or anything. If she likes you back, she'll probably look passed it.shwnbob said:
If you can though, call her or talk to her in person explaining the situation and ask her out for real. Hell, that could even be a jumping off point to actually talk to the girl, so just look at it that way.
For now though, I'd say it would be best just to talk to her in person or at the very least try to. If things don't go well or if she rejects you... so what? Pick up and move on from that. However, if she does like you the same way, then it will be good as a way to talk to her. Hope everything works out with that ^_^
First off, chill. Getting freaked will just make your life stressful. At this point, things are out of your hands, so all you can do is wait.shwnbob said:
If she likes you (or is at least pleasant to you) enough that you think there's a chance she'd say yes, then the worst thing she is likely to do is say no. Even if she's not interested, she'll feel only slightly embarassed, or a little flattered by your invitation, and she'll decline politely, and make an attempt not to seriously hurt your feelings.
You'll feel disappointed that you were shot down, then rally back, and feel like you can take on the world, because, hey man, you just sacked up and asked a girl out!
On the flip side, she says yes, and you feel RAD because she said yes.
So the situation is pretty much win-win.
In future though, if you want to avoid this waiting period, just ask her in person. if you get a "no" at least you'll know right away, and can move much more rapidly through the dread > disappointment > "waitasecond, I'm a goddamn BADASS!" process.
For now, just hang tight, and if she doesn't respond before you see her next, talk to her about it.
But don't fret about it, just take it in stride.
-m
I would suggest go to her place post haste and ask her in person. That's just me.
I've always been more into the face to face thing, to the point that I would ride to people's houses at like 3 am rather than talk to them if they called up wanting to talk about teenage drama (because what else do you talk about in high school?) and to this day I'm more likely to drive 40 mins to my brothers house than pick up the phone.
Edit: Wow, that was a really self centred post. Sorry man.
I spent more time explaining why I prefer face to face than I should have and not enough time explaining why it might be a good option for you...
It seems like you've got the guts to ask her, seeing as you already did, and know her well enough to have her added on facebook (might be less of a big deal in your social circle) so I can assume rocking up at her place isn't out of the question? Maybe text her first?
Once you're there you have the benefit of reading her expression, tone of voice, and body language as well as her actual words, which can help you understand what she might be trying to say rather than what she's actually spitting out, and why.
You also have manoeuvrability. If it starts to look down hill you can downplay the whole thing and make it easier on her (which she'll probably appreciate, and might make you feel less embarrassed), or beg (probably not a good idea), or try to explain yourself better. Maybe she thinks you want a big official boyfriend-girlfriend thing straight off the bat, but all you wanted was to go out for a coffee and movie one weekend to start off.
Additionally, if she says yes, you may get a kiss (depending on age, whether you're her first boyfriend, she's your first girlfriend, her dad is 2 feet away, what ever.)
I've always been more into the face to face thing, to the point that I would ride to people's houses at like 3 am rather than talk to them if they called up wanting to talk about teenage drama (because what else do you talk about in high school?) and to this day I'm more likely to drive 40 mins to my brothers house than pick up the phone.
Edit: Wow, that was a really self centred post. Sorry man.
I spent more time explaining why I prefer face to face than I should have and not enough time explaining why it might be a good option for you...
It seems like you've got the guts to ask her, seeing as you already did, and know her well enough to have her added on facebook (might be less of a big deal in your social circle) so I can assume rocking up at her place isn't out of the question? Maybe text her first?
Once you're there you have the benefit of reading her expression, tone of voice, and body language as well as her actual words, which can help you understand what she might be trying to say rather than what she's actually spitting out, and why.
You also have manoeuvrability. If it starts to look down hill you can downplay the whole thing and make it easier on her (which she'll probably appreciate, and might make you feel less embarrassed), or beg (probably not a good idea), or try to explain yourself better. Maybe she thinks you want a big official boyfriend-girlfriend thing straight off the bat, but all you wanted was to go out for a coffee and movie one weekend to start off.
Additionally, if she says yes, you may get a kiss (depending on age, whether you're her first boyfriend, she's your first girlfriend, her dad is 2 feet away, what ever.)
In my experience with asking girls out if its in person they say "maybe". If its online they don't answer at all. Both usually mean "no, but I won't give you a straight answer". If she won't answer you on facebook she will probably just reject you in person too. But, if you do confront her about it and you do get a straight answer at least you will know for sure.
Funny thing is for me all 3 girls I have dated actually asked me out. I've been rejected or more accurate to say ignored by all the ones I actually had the nerve to ask out myself.
Try not to stress over it. I know it is easier said than done when you really like someone. But, remember there is always others if this one doesn't pan out for you.
Funny thing is for me all 3 girls I have dated actually asked me out. I've been rejected or more accurate to say ignored by all the ones I actually had the nerve to ask out myself.
Try not to stress over it. I know it is easier said than done when you really like someone. But, remember there is always others if this one doesn't pan out for you.
Heh, my first boyfriend asked me out over msn, I thought it was very cute (and said yes immediately).
If she's not replied, though, I'd guess that's a rejection, but there's other possibilities why she may not have replied so I understand your freaking out about it.
If I were you I'd now speak to her in person (what do you have to lose now, right?) acknowledge that it was kind of lame and you should've asked to her face, and ask her out then. Even if she wasn't interested before, there's a possibility that your humility and your action of overcoming your shyness might put you in a better light in her eyes and she'd be more willing to consider it.
If not, then at least you've saved some face by being braver about it.
If she's not replied, though, I'd guess that's a rejection, but there's other possibilities why she may not have replied so I understand your freaking out about it.
If I were you I'd now speak to her in person (what do you have to lose now, right?) acknowledge that it was kind of lame and you should've asked to her face, and ask her out then. Even if she wasn't interested before, there's a possibility that your humility and your action of overcoming your shyness might put you in a better light in her eyes and she'd be more willing to consider it.
If not, then at least you've saved some face by being braver about it.
Stop freaking out about nothing, my friend. This is not nuclear war or a biological attack. It's asking a girl out on a date. What's the worst that she can say, "No."? Big deal. Maybe you look like a goof for a little while. But so what. If this girl decides not to go out with you, and you wind up looking a bit like a dork, if only for a little while, does it really matter? So you don't look "cool" to someone. Big deal.
The bottom line is stop taking this so seriously. If she says nothing, or says no, then move on. And who cares what people think. It's what you think of yourself that matters.
The bottom line is stop taking this so seriously. If she says nothing, or says no, then move on. And who cares what people think. It's what you think of yourself that matters.
I'd go with what everyone else says and just talk to her in person. You could even go as far as to say that you were nervous about waiting for her response via facebook and wanted to talk to her. I find some honesty seems to help matters. It's ok to be nervous; it's a big deal if you've never done something like this before. Just don't let it get to you too much and don't feel it's the end of the world if she says "no". It certainly is not.
