There IS a belief these days that women are much more attracted to men who act like jerks. It's more complicated than that. Women, like us men to a degree I think, are attracted to confidence, which often happens to come out in jerkiness. Of course, that's not always the case, because some search for a much more real and constant confidence than the kind that makes you tease people or abuse them.
Women who don't understand why they attract the kind of man that the OP described into their life probably just don't understand their own masochism and need for a confident man to protect them, which is often said to be connected to our evolutionary similarities to the apes. That's not to say that the abuse that they suffer is their own fault: it is always the one who does it who is at fault. Of course, it's wise to escape an abusive relationship as quickly as possible, but keep in mind that a man that is abusive in private can be a divine, kind thing in public; often this is the case, as such a man tends to be an unpredictable, sensitive type. It's very easy, especially for anyone new to love, to think that this kind public persona is the real person underneath.
I cannot stress this enough: never blame the woman. It is not their fault. Even if they were unwise in remaining in the relationship, this is often a result of idealism and a desire to heal the man that they've unluckily chosen, as well as the relationship itself. A good motivation should not be criticised as stupidity. That kind of treatment just creates a tendency for the world to become more and more undeserving of such ideals, because no one will expect them to be fulfilled by others.
It's good to help a woman who often has abusive relationships to see why in themselves they seek a certain type of man. There's also nothing wrong with directing them to the literature which suggests that confidence is what they really want and that they need to look for the more subtle versions. While you can prevent this from all occurring again, remember that all of humanity, no matter how intelligent we are as individuals, suffers from blind spots. Helping each other to see those parts of ourselves is an important part of our social structure, and it's essential to be forgiving for this vision of the blind spot to take place.
