A Suggestion Regarding Relationship Threads (Yep, It's A Repeat)

[Seldon2639]

Though, since I'm actually repeating my own thread I wonder if the same general guidelines apply. I know it exists, but I can't bump my own thread. But, I digress.

As a general plea: can we all stop being dicks about relationship threads? I really don't get it, if you don't like reading them, don't read them. You don't need to come into someone else's thread and say "go read other people's threads about relationships, that should help", or "post this all in one bigger thread", screw both of those ideas. Posting into the consolidated mega-thread will yield fewer answers and less support and help, and reading other people's previous discussions of other people's problems is far from useful. That'd be like me saying "let's just have one big thread about RPGs, and anything anyone wants to say about RPGs should go in that thread". No one on this site would accept that.

Maybe a dedicated section for dating advice would be useful, but having one thread for "all of the relationship questions on the Escapist" is untenable. If I have a need for relationship advice, I don't want regurgitated solutions, I don't want to be one post in the nineteen pages of previous problems, I want interested parties to read my problem on my thread and answer my questions. We wouldn't accept anything else for any other question or commentary.

So, before you front off about how people should just post in the consolidated topic, or shouldn't do as many relationship threads, 'cause "it's all been done before", ask yourself these questions:

Would I want to have my question about game recommendations for people who liked Bioshock to be relegated to one consolidated "game recommendations" page?

Would I accept that Final Fantasy, Oblivion, Mass Effect, KOTOR, ect should all be lumped together as one "RPG discussion thread"?

How about one consolidated "all political discussion" thread?

Is there any reason for me to comment on this thread at all if I don't have something helpful to say?

Is it really that hard to just ignore relationship threads?

If the answer to any of these is "no, of course not", please resist the urge to be a pretentious douchebag when it comes to other people's relationship threads. If the answer to all of them is "yes", then... Wow.

Edit: I fixed the title, since people seem to be interpreting the title as indicating my thread is about a relationship problem I'm having, rather than being about my feelings about the level of vitriol which some members of our community have for such threads.

 

[bue519]

To be fair though this is a site about gaming, not relationships.

 

[WrongSprite]

To be fair though this is a site about gaming, not relationships.

There's an "off-topic" section for a reason buddy.

 

[zombflux]

So this is a thread about threads. Okay.

 

[teisjm]

So whats the thread about?

Do you have a question you forgot to post between all teh guidelines on how not to be a douchebag and complain about rule-breaking?
if yes then the answer will be a wild guess but here goes: Yes she is in fact a tranny, but you can do whatever you want with her) him anyways (within legal boundries ofc), i won't judge you.

Is this thread actually about people complaining over rpeated threads, and not really about relationships?
If so, isn't it kinda hypochitical to make a whole thread complaining about other people complaining?

Are you asking about our relationships? if so yes, i've got a girl, she's hot, i'm getting laid waaaaay too little, and she has lots of pets.

Are you offering us private fotagew of the "sexy-time" you and your girlfriend has, if so, plz gief.

Would we (the male escapists (and lesbians too if theres any)) date a gamer chick? sure, heck i'll even kill one and feed her brain to my current girlfriend to make her a gamer

Dunno if thats what you wanted to know, but it's kinda hard when you're only posting whine about how people presumably flamed your original thread.

Also, if your thread dies out way too quickly compared to what you'd wished for, it's prolyl because it was less interrestign to everyone else than it was in your head... don't feel sad, we've all been there.

While this may seem like douchebaggery, i'm actually just trying to udnerstand wtf your thread is actually about, maybe even helping you edit some sense into it, as i currently see no connection between your topic name and the actual text in your thread.

 

[Kasawd]

I always find reading these relationship threads to be very interesting. Although situations run along the same vein ,they are different in their ways and make for a refreshing read.

Also, the consolidated political thread would be a hilarious clusterfuck.

 

[orangebandguy]

Ok, fair enough, why don't you just ignore them like everyone else. Threads of certain themes come and go. Relationships are common threads at the moment and not too long ago Halo trolling threads were outrageously popular.

Like a teenager, the forum goes through different phases and mood swings.

 

[Nemu]

I would venture to say that threads about relationships are never going to be taken seriously on any forums, anywhere.

A fair amount of people on the net are callous and increasingly cynical, many are devoid of actual real-life relationships with folks beyond blood family and, frankly, it's easy to make fun of other people behind the safety of anonymity.

Most posters aren't going to take threads like "should I break up with my gf (or bf)?" seriously for obvious reasons:
They don't have one.
They've NEVER had one.
They're cynical.
They THINK they're funny.
They're apathetic.

While I can appreciate folks seeking "help" for life's problems online, looking for it on a gaming site is NOT the way to go-especially if you genuinely have an issue. =X

 

[thiosk]

You're not going to get noticed if your post is on the 8th page.
So I support making new threads about topics done before.

It is the true repeaters that really tend to drive folks crazy.

Instead of making a "HOW OLD R U OMG" thread, why not just post in one of the other 50?

 

[BonsaiK]

Though, since I'm actually repeating my own thread I wonder if the same general guidelines apply. I know it exists, but I can't bump my own thread. But, I digress.

As a general plea: can we all stop being dicks about relationship threads? I really don't get it, if you don't like reading them, don't read them. You don't need to come into someone else's thread and say "go read other people's threads about relationships, that should help", or "post this all in one bigger thread", screw both of those ideas. Posting into the consolidated mega-thread will yield fewer answers and less support and help, and reading other people's previous discussions of other people's problems is far from useful. That'd be like me saying "let's just have one big thread about RPGs, and anything anyone wants to say about RPGs should go in that thread". No one on this site would accept that.

Maybe a dedicated section for dating advice would be useful, but having one thread for "all of the relationship questions on the Escapist" is untenable. If I have a need for relationship advice, I don't want regurgitated solutions, I don't want to be one post in the nineteen pages of previous problems, I want interested parties to read my problem on my thread and answer my questions. We wouldn't accept anything else for any other question or commentary.

So, before you front off about how people should just post in the consolidated topic, or shouldn't do as many relationship threads, 'cause "it's all been done before", ask yourself these questions:

Would I want to have my question about game recommendations for people who liked Bioshock to be relegated to one consolidated "game recommendations" page?

Would I accept that Final Fantasy, Oblivion, Mass Effect, KOTOR, ect should all be lumped together as one "RPG discussion thread"?

How about one consolidated "all political discussion" thread?

Is there any reason for me to comment on this thread at all if I don't have something helpful to say?

Is it really that hard to just ignore relationship threads?

If the answer to any of these is "no, of course not", please resist the urge to be a pretentious douchebag when it comes to other people's relationship threads. If the answer to all of them is "yes", then... Wow.

I actually consolidate stuff into the Relationship Problem Thread for these reasons:

1. It's a lot easier for me to keep track of what advice I've given what people if it's all in the one spot
2. If people DON'T want to start a brand new thread about a relationship problem (because of the attention it draws) then they don't HAVE to
3. People know they have somewhere to turn where they can get useful advice

Having said that if people don't WANT to use my thread then no-one is forcing them. I suggest to people that they use it only because the service is there and I want people to know that I'm offering it. But at the end of the day it's always the choice of the person making the post, and that's how it should always be.

 

[Seldon2639]

~snip~

I'm not sure I caught most of your point, but it seems to be this: you were expecting a thread about a relationship problem I have, rather than a thread about relationship threads themselves. Allow me to try to explain.

I did not post any relationship advice thread recently, nor did the one I posted something like two years ago get flamed. I merely observed a rather rampant tendency of people in the current influx of relationship threads to post rather irksome little rants about how "it should all be in the main relationship thread", and "it's boring", and "this is a gaming website", ect.

Since I can actually relate to, and have empathy for, the people posting relationship problems, I found it bothersome, so I wrote a rant. Does that explain things?

So this is a thread about threads. Okay.

Yep, and if I don't get results I may have to go really recursive and write a thread about threads about threads.

~snip~

You're one of the good guys (or girls, since I don't really know), and I wasn't directing this diatribe at you in any way, shape, or form. I like the idea of having a URT (Universal Relationship Thread), but I'm irked by the people who (as a result) want to relegate all relationship advice to that one area. I personally imagine that people will garner more responses outside of a consolidated thread, but, as you point out, some people don't want that. I agree with the intent of your thread, it's the people taking it to an annoying extreme who bother me.

The reason they peeve me so much is because this is a gaming website, even if it is off-topic, not a teenage crisis hotline.

It's also not a movie site, a music site, or a site about cooking, but I see plenty of topics on those subjects. It's not a book reviewing site, or a martial arts site, but I've seen plenty of those threads in my tenure. It's certainly not a political discussion site, but lord knows how many of those we've had. Either off-topic is actually a potpourri of "whatever else interests you" or boy do we need to lay down ground rules about what this site "is" and "isn't".

 

[zombflux]

Would I want to have my question about game recommendations for people who liked Bioshock to be relegated to one consolidated "game recommendations" page?
Sure, whatever.

Would I accept that Final Fantasy, Oblivion, Mass Effect, KOTOR, ect should all be lumped together as one "RPG discussion thread"?
Nah, that's dumb yo.

How about one consolidated "all political discussion" thread?
Fuck politics.

Is there any reason for me to comment on this thread at all if I don't have something helpful to say?
Yeh, ta rage some kids.

Is it really that hard to just ignore relationship threads?
No. That's why I did. I guess I wasn't supposed ta answer these questions. Oops.

...

Yep, and if I don't get results I may have to go really recursive and write a thread about threads about threads.

...

What results are you expecting?

 

[BonsaiK]

~snip~

You're one of the good guys (or girls, since I don't really know), and I wasn't directing this diatribe at you in any way, shape, or form. I like the idea of having a URT (Universal Relationship Thread), but I'm irked by the people who (as a result) want to relegate all relationship advice to that one area. I personally imagine that people will garner more responses outside of a consolidated thread, but, as you point out, some people don't want that. I agree with the intent of your thread, it's the people taking it to an annoying extreme who bother me.

It's all good, just making sure that you understood my intent, and you obviously do. I generally agree with your other points.

 

[Seldon2639]

What results are you expecting?

World domination?

 

[zombflux]

What results are you expecting?

World domination?

Dude, no. I got dibs on that.

 

[Seldon2639]

What results are you expecting?

World domination?

Dude, no. I got dibs on that.

Yeah, but this is one case in which dibs doesn't do much good. I'll just usurp your reign after you've consolidated the world and have it under strict control.

 

[zombflux]

What results are you expecting?

World domination?

Dude, no. I got dibs on that.

Yeah, but this is one case in which dibs doesn't do much good. I'll just usurp your reign after you've consolidated the world and have it under strict control.

Whatever man, I was gonna blow the whole place up anyway.

Boy, what a derail.

 

[TheMatt]

The reason they peeve me so much is because this is a gaming website, even if it is off-topic, not a teenage crisis hotline.

Hey buddy,

cry more why don't you? You are exactly the sort of person he is bitching about and good on him for doing so. People like you serve no purpose.

One serious question though, why in gods name would go into a post that you have no interest in simply to state you have no interest? That doesn't strike you as bloody retarded?

Sooo... your premise is, this is a "gaming website" and the off topic section has no place here? Or, you can post about in the off-topic section (which by definition should be about anything BUT gaming) as long as you post about gaming?

Why do you lurk in the off topic at all? If you come here simply for "gaming" topics, simply stay the fuck out of the off topic section.

I'm honestly curious here. What is your premise that the OFF TOPIC section, should only be about gaming?

 

[ExaltedK9]

Though, since I'm actually repeating my own thread I wonder if the same general guidelines apply. I know it exists, but I can't bump my own thread. But, I digress.

As a general plea: can we all stop being dicks about relationship threads? I really don't get it, if you don't like reading them, don't read them. You don't need to come into someone else's thread and say "go read other people's threads about relationships, that should help", or "post this all in one bigger thread", screw both of those ideas. Posting into the consolidated mega-thread will yield fewer answers and less support and help, and reading other people's previous discussions of other people's problems is far from useful. That'd be like me saying "let's just have one big thread about RPGs, and anything anyone wants to say about RPGs should go in that thread". No one on this site would accept that.

Maybe a dedicated section for dating advice would be useful, but having one thread for "all of the relationship questions on the Escapist" is untenable. If I have a need for relationship advice, I don't want regurgitated solutions, I don't want to be one post in the nineteen pages of previous problems, I want interested parties to read my problem on my thread and answer my questions. We wouldn't accept anything else for any other question or commentary.

So, before you front off about how people should just post in the consolidated topic, or shouldn't do as many relationship threads, 'cause "it's all been done before", ask yourself these questions:

Would I want to have my question about game recommendations for people who liked Bioshock to be relegated to one consolidated "game recommendations" page?

Would I accept that Final Fantasy, Oblivion, Mass Effect, KOTOR, ect should all be lumped together as one "RPG discussion thread"?

How about one consolidated "all political discussion" thread?

Is there any reason for me to comment on this thread at all if I don't have something helpful to say?

Is it really that hard to just ignore relationship threads?

If the answer to any of these is "no, of course not", please resist the urge to be a pretentious douchebag when it comes to other people's relationship threads. If the answer to all of them is "yes", then... Wow.

Hate to quote all the text but I really wantet to point out that this isn't even a thread about relationships. it's more about...how you want them to be treated. I get what your saying but ...still. If you're gonna make a thread about it then go for it, and just include this, don't just make a guideline, and then have nothing to refer it to.

 

[Neonbob]

Well, as someone who has just been involved with you on another discussion thread, let me just say: I do not mind if someone makes one relationship thread every now and then.
Unfortunately, they seem to come in droves. As soon as one pops up, people realize "Hey, they made a thread about some problem they're having with a girl/guy! I'm having girl/guy problems! I should make a thread too!"

And that is where I have a bit of a problem.

Hopefully, this makes some kind of sense.