A thoughtful sex question...

[game-lover]

Is sexual pleasure more dependent on biological responses and stimulation as opposed to the skill of a lover? Is it vice versa? Or do both have an equal effect? Are they even related at all?

Couple days ago when I realized I had not come to terms with casual sex and probably never would, I started to wonder things. Because in spite of that, I wanted to see if I could find an understanding in my brain.

And I just started thinking. Sex is supposed to feel good. That's the general consensus. Either with religion where as far as Christianity goes, God made it so. To doctors jumping in there saying it's healthy and all, good for the body, etc. And probably other stuff I don't even know or remember.

That's basically what got me pondering.

So... yeah. Does anyone have an opinion? I'm curious to see what replies I get, if any.

 

[Loop Stricken]

Well if sex didn't feel so good (as I've been led to believe), we wouldn't do it.

It's fuckin' dangerous! Your heartrate spikes, your system floods with chemicals, you're mingling your goddamn genitals with those of another person and Gods know where they've been!

 

[SeeIn2D]

Well sex is all biological regardless of why you do it. Organisms are supposed to have sex, i.e. reproduce, and therefore we're encouraged to because it feels really good to us. I think that regardless of how good the person you're having sex with is, you will still want to do it with them because it is in fact literally in our DNA to have sex, know how to do it, and have it feel good.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

Well if sex didn't feel so good (as I've been led to believe), we wouldn't do it.

It's fuckin' dangerous! Your heartrate spikes, your system floods with chemicals, you're mingling your goddamn genitals with those of another person and Gods know where they've been!

I completely agree. Many individuals, both young and old, have actually died during sex because of their weak hearts and I'm surprised people don't really know that (aside from the misconception that older people die from sex because they are too old).

If having sex wasn't as pleasurable or just downright painful, people would avoid it altogether and only endure it for the sake of reproduction.

 

[Colour Scientist]

The prevalence of faked orgasm from women is testament to the fact that yes, you can sex wrong. Although faked orgasms are counter intuitive. Men won't learn what to do if they keep being reassured they're doing it right anyway. Literally the only reason I know what I'm doing down there is I spent a good while sleeping with a girl who would actually tell me when I wasn't doing something right.

It's never nice to tell someone they're doing it wrong though. I think the only way to get any kind of skill is to stay with someone long enough for both parties to be comfortable to say "Oi, stop that!". Obviously in a much nicer way though.

Captcha: Well done
Thank you.

 

[Vegosiux]

Sex in the sense of "getting oneself off cause one is horny" is one thing. Sex in the sense of "intimate fun" is quite another. Not saying the two can't mix, but generally speaking, not all sex acts are created equal.

Then we have all those fringe elements such as revenge sex, pity sex, angry sex...you know, the silly kinds. Though angry sex does tend to be rather good, admittedly.

 

[Colour Scientist]

It's also not nice to just throw yourself on top of someone and just roll off when you're done. You don't have to be abrasive about it. Just tell the person what you like. Give them a bit of guidance, eventually the training wheels will come off. Besides it's made up for with the confidence of knowing what to do.

EDIT: Anyone who's more concerned with their pride than pleasuring whoever they happen to be sleeping with probably isn't worth bothering with anyway.

I think when it's a casual thing it's a bit of an awkward thing to bring up, although if your really subtle you can get away with showing them the ropes without them realizing what you're doing. Sometimes the problem comes from, not from lack of trying, but if a previous partner has faked and they think they know what should happen.

 

[Rawne1980]

I completely agree. Many individuals, both young and old, have actually died during sex because of their weak hearts and I'm surprised people don't really know that (aside from the misconception that older people die from sex because they are too old).

And that is how i'm hoping to go.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

I completely agree. Many individuals, both young and old, have actually died during sex because of their weak hearts and I'm surprised people don't really know that (aside from the misconception that older people die from sex because they are too old).

And that is how i'm hoping to go.

Well, we all hope of kicking the bucket doing what we love most and that's not a bad way to go.

 

[the abyss gazes also]

Is sexual pleasure more dependent on biological responses and stimulation as opposed to the skill of a lover? Is it vice versa? Or do both have an equal effect? Are they even related at all?

For guys sex is like pizza. It has to be really bad before it doesn't work. A lazy partner will still get the job done.

Women are different. Having a lazy or ineffectual partner will prompt the fake orgasm as a way to move things along. It does seem counter intuitive, but there is a funny logic to it.

Now if we lived in a world where people were logical you could talk to your partner about what works vs. what doesn't and everyone could be happy. But we do not live in such a world. People are very sensitive and so most people just do the rubbing their parts together until something happens.

Really the biggest "skill" is learning to discuss sex openly and honestly. After that you can usually figure the rest out.

 

[darlarosa]

Everyone is different. Some people can easily engage in casual sex.
Some people cannot, even if it feels good. It lacks intimacy, and is so deeply personal that it must be explored with someone you love. For others it lessens sex. All are fine viewpoints so long as they aren't pushed on others.

Personally I believe in having general affection for someone before sex. It could be simple friendship or more. You have to be comfortable I think. I think random stranger sex is...suspect. I would like to know the likes/dislikes, general personality, sexual status, relationship status etc. Basically I think you should get to know someone a bit, unless you're in an environment were sexual activity is somewhat controlled....like a well organized sex party or something.

But some people just jump into bed
Its all...different for each person

 

[Risingblade]

Biologically sex should feel good since the pleasure makes us want to reproduce. The skill of the lover just enhances that. So think of sex as a cake, skill would be the icing

 

[xmbts]

It feels good, but how much you enjoy it really depends on you. How you feel about it does more for you then the skill or stimulation in my experience.

Not that those aren't nice to have as well.