About sex

[whaleswiththumbs]

This is possibly one of the best questions i have ever run across and i had to try to answer..

It's..... I'll have to get back to you.

 

[Ham_authority95]

A sex drive makes me want to have sex. There is a warm feeling inside me, my eyes dilate, my mouths starts to salivate, and my genitals start to feel funny...

Hope that answers your question.

 

[Something Amyss]

This kind of thread always confuses me. "What's it like to have a sex drive" seems comparable to asking "what's it like to be right handed?" Or "What's it like to be gay?" Or "What's it like to have arms?"

I can't see how one can separate one's self from their state of being like that.

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

"What is sanity, but having the same affliction as your neighbour?"

My sex drive is high, despite the fact that I never get laid. This is slowly causing me anxiety, as I find that I am fustrated with the fact that despite that I am not perticularily below average on the scale of attractiveness or smarts, I still watch idiots around me "get mo ass" than I. This is one of the main reason I feel depressed every now and again.

In short, my sex drive is driving me crazy

 

[CarlsonAndPeeters]

When you have a sex drive, you'll know it. I was late on that front, too. I always felt weird when guys would be like "Isn't that chick hot?" and I really had no opinion. Then one day I did. Whether that ends up happening with guys, girls, or both doesn't really matter. Its a physical/emotional reaction to someone else, and its pretty easy to recognize.

 

[Burck]

You're right, I can't know, but at the same time, short of a progressive chemical analysis of every active human brain on earth (or close to), no-one can truly know. For all we know, most of the people on this thread might have various neurological cluster-fucks that lead to similar results to an actual sex-drive. I mean, between social pressures such as movies, games, books, television, parents, friends, etc how do you know that what you feel is a natural hormonal progression? Isn't it possible that your brain has seen what everyone else is doing and basically created a psychological shortcut to produce similar results to actual sexual attraction? Your brain (or anyone's brain really) could, instead of releasing sex-drive chemicals, have a form of shortcut hardwired in, so instead of a chemical attraction you have a socially induced one that mimics it, instead of releasing endorphins as a direct result of sexual arousal, you might see a girl you know others find attractive and you've effectively tricked your body into an erection and into releasing endorphins as two separate reactions, rather than a one being result of the other. My point is, because everyone is different, and because we have so many social pressures to 'be this' or 'do that' how can you determine which theory is correct or which feeling is actually genuine or which people are genuinely experienceing something as opposed to a socially-instilled 'desktop shortcut' or 'psychological scenic route'.

From the way you keep arguing from (elaborate explanations, doubts, speculations, etc), you seem kinda reluctant.

You can theory-craft all you want, but chemicals are chemicals. What everyone thinks is attractive IS a mix of cultural/social standards and horomonal or "instinctual" desires.

I dunno, I doubt I can convince you in some dinky little forum post, so I would suggest you find someone to continue a constructive conversation with.

A psychologist would be best since they (hopefully, and at least more so than anyone else) have no agenda when dealing with your questions.

Seriously, they really optimize your cognitive capabilities and process ideas faster.

 

[Benny Blanco]

At the risk of being crude, my sex drive functions like an engine with gears.

1st gear: Running along nice and slow, noticing anyone attractive of the opposite gender but not really thinking twice about it.

2nd gear: Reactive to attractive members of the opposite gender, but not actively looking for anything unless there are some unmistakeable indicators of interest.

3rd gear: Active flirting, possible semi, scoping for anyone with mutual interest.

4th gear: Really wanting to do something about my sex drive, overtly trying to pick up women.

5th gear: Will pick up and attempt to fuck almost any woman who is not physically repulsive and doesn't seem put off by the raging hard-on tenting my jeans.

 

[Orcus The Ultimate]

Nonexistent. I have worked hard on self betterment to have a sex drive, I have suppressed it into nonexistence.

I do have a drive too couple with a woman and have children.

yep, i understand what you're saying... but are you sure about nonexistence ? isn't it contradictory to say you want to couple with a woman without a pulsion ?


now funny question: are you a robot? XD
(dont take it personally)

 

[Boba Frag]

What is it with all the sex/sexuality threads on here lately?

To me, a sex drive is the anticipation and the rush to have sex. It doesn't get much more complex than that.

I've noticed that too... Must be the cold weather


EDIT

I've only skimmed a few of the posts, but the OP seems a little, well, anxious about this and sort of over-thinking things.

Just because you don't want to bone someone immediately doesn't mean you don't have a sex drive. It also sounds like you haven't encountered someone that does it for you in that regard.

You're pretty young, and no matter what you may hear, there isn't any need to rush into getting rid of your virginity. It's not a handicap.

My advice is to maybe relax a little on it. Worrying and over thinking won't help you but hanging out with your friends doing something fun will.

Damn but this is on a lot of people's minds lately.


Best of luck with finding your answers. Thing is, that'll actually come over the years rather than straight away in this thread.

 

[NiceGurl_14]

It will be more obvious once you have had sex the first time, ironic I know.

I never thought of it this way, but its true. At your age I was more 'I kinda want to know what its like, but I'm not aching to have it.' Then once I had it, and it was good (the first few times, not so much) it was 'OMG I need to get me more!' and noticing hot guys and actually feeling aroused.

Pretty much this for most women.

 

[Capcom4ever]

I believe this board should be in the relationship section. Or whatever its called.

 

[Biosophilogical]

I believe this board should be in the relationship section. Or whatever its called.

There's a relationship section now?! Well, you learn something new everyday.

Also, to those wondering if I'm nervous, it isn't that I'm nervous, it's that I'm curious, and, being so young (and a virgin and everything else) I tried to word my points so that they didn't seem so immature (to direct the discussion towards a more productive response rather than a purely "You're only 16" approach). So yeah, don't worry about me, I'm not overthinking it because I'm nervous I just tend to overthink everything that piques my curiosity/annoys me by being beyond my range of sympathy.

 

[skeliton112]

Stomach feels tight, cant stop thinking about what ever you like et cetera. Also strong urges.

 

[loc978]

-snip-

You forgot about one of the key features in to people helping you on the internet.
Describe you gender!!!
Sorry but are you male or female?

I'm male, and to clarify to everyone on this thread, I find people of both genders to be physically attractive (well, I find them attractive if they actually are attractive), but it's never been a "Let's get it on" kind of thing, more just me being aware of the physical qualities of other people (a phenomenon I think most people experience, regardless of sexuality, but that's a whole other can of worms which I'll put in a spoiler)

Spoiler: My explanation

My theory is that everyone is physically and socially attracted/repelled by everyone else (which is how people discern who is attractive within their own gender, and therefore likely to attract desired mates of the opposite gender (which I believe stems from the idea of opportunistic reproduction (not all the desired mates will "get it on" with the attractive friend, so you would be there to catch his/her metaphorical run-off/excess/overflow/etc))). A similar 'survival standard' applies to social attraction and has led me to believe that, while we all experience physical and social attraction to others, they are not the same as sexual attraction. Sexual attraction, in my theory, would be a result of the total physical and social attraction reaching what I call the 'Sex-theshold', which is basically the ease you have in experiencing sexual attraction; so an asexual would either have an impossibly high sex-theshold meaning they never find someone who ranks high enough/is perfect enough, demisexuals (I think that's the term) would place more value on social attraction, and everyone except asexuals would just have a different sex-theshold, which would determine how 'horny' they are.

So yeah, my current view is that I'm asexual/demisexual, have a high sex-theshold or have repressed my sex drive.

So my physical and social attraction (actually, maybe psychological attraction would be more fitting?) to other people appears to be purely platonic (for lack of a better word) in nature, kind of like how you feel towards a nice car, or a close friend.

Question: do you ever get an erection when looking at these physically attractive people? If so, that is your sex drive (if not, you may be right... perhaps you are asexual... or perhaps you need to see sex acts, not just sexy people). It really is more biology than psychology in this instance. Not everyone has psychological needs associated with sex. I certainly don't.

 

[Fleaman]

You're better off. You'll get more work done without one.

 

[Biosophilogical]

-snipped for space-
Question: do you ever get an erection when looking at these physically attractive people? If so, that is your sex drive (if not, you may be right... perhaps you are asexual... or perhaps you need to see sex acts, not just sexy people). It really is more biology than psychology in this instance. Not everyone has psychological needs associated with sex. I certainly don't.

No, beautiful/attractive/'hot' people don't turn me on (don't get me wrong, I've had erections before but they never had a cause or an aim, and I never felt any urges associated with it, analogous to a spasm in its chaotic and aimless nature.

 

[SadisticPretzel]

DO you get horny? Ever just want to bang someone's brains out? You have a sex drive.

 

[thom_cat_]

-snipped for space-
Question: do you ever get an erection when looking at these physically attractive people? If so, that is your sex drive (if not, you may be right... perhaps you are asexual... or perhaps you need to see sex acts, not just sexy people). It really is more biology than psychology in this instance. Not everyone has psychological needs associated with sex. I certainly don't.

No, beautiful/attractive/'hot' people don't turn me on (don't get me wrong, I've had erections before but they never had a cause or an aim, and I never felt any urges associated with it, analogous to a spasm in its chaotic and aimless nature.

Then you're probably asexual. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[conflictofinterests]

When I was quite small, I mistook being aroused for needing to pee, but when I went to the bathroom nothing would come out. Later on before I realized I had a clit, my labia would just engorge ridiculously, and it would feel hot and somewhat uncomfortable and it would feel good to rub against things through my pants.

Now, I've always been kind of a twist, so I got aroused at all manner of strange things, like Kaa from Disney's The Jungle Book hypnotizing and almost eating Mowgli to multiple penetration smut to futinari. Women have turned me on. Men have turned me on. Animals have turned me on. I'm probably a bad person to ask.

 

[conflictofinterests]

Oh, also, I've never been aroused simply by an attractive person. Always had to have something more. Like my current boyfriend, mental seduction/domination. TOTALLY HOT.