About sex

[Irony's Acolyte]

Well for me when the sex drive kicks in, I get "urges". "Urges" to do "things". I know that's pretty vague, but I'm trying to find the right words for it. Well to be perfectly frank here I get the urge to have sex with whatever is arousing me. I just want to do it, ya know. Wipe out my penis and go to town. Now since situations have never worked in my favor when it comes to sex, I find an alternative release for this sexual energy (Rosie Palms will always be there for you).

Don't worry though. I know that you aren't sure if what you feel is normal or not, but chances are, there's nothing wrong with you. I myself was pretty unsure about whether my sexual urges were common or not (hell, still due somewhat), but if there is one thing I've learned from my adolescence (I'm 19 now, so I wouldn't consider myself one anymore), its that despite you feeling like the only one with a particular "thing" ("thing" being sexual drive, personality characteristic, belief, problem, whatever) there are probably plenty of other people out there that have a similar, if not practically the same, "thing".

What is it with all the sex/sexuality threads on here lately?

From what I noticed, this sort of things happens whenever several threads with similar topics get made at the same time. People see them, get their own ideas for a thread on the subject and so make them. This leads to numerous threads on sex, or "The last thing you killed", or about the latest big movie/game, or whatever all piping up within a short period of time. People's minds are on it so it fuels the flames, so to speak. Eventually people start getting tired of it or a new subject arises and everyone moves on. Until it pops up again.

Or at least that's my theory.

 

[Sarahcidal]

when i want to get naked and do filthy shameful things to someone.. or have them done to me.. or both. That is sex drive

 

[city cider]

One word.


Jizzing.

 

[OptimisticPessimist]

I think the whole "sex drive" has been pretty accurately explained already. May I dispense a little advise, though? From one peer to another, I have this to say: study up. Whatever you do, don't just jump into sexuality with no knowledge. After all, the first time only comes around once, so why not make it an event to remember?

 

[AquaAscension]

So, from what I can gather, it's a subtle thing? It's just, with everyone around me wanting to nail anything with a heartbeat and an hairless armpit I was expecting something more ... obsessive ... no that's not the right word ... compulsive? Mentally over-powering? ... I was expecting it to have more .. umph behind it.

So you're thinking it should be this intense "I NEED YOU NAO!!!" urge? Yeah, it can come to that, but only (for me) after the initial attraction has started and really usually only after I've started the intimate-making process (i.e. foreplay). When I know that I'm about to have sex, then I am able to let myself really want someone like that. Until then, however, there's just a kind of curiosity about the different women I see, nothing weird like an "I must have you NOW" out of nowhere for me. I'd be kind of afraid of people who are like that...

Sex drive, for most, is like ambient noise. It's everpresent and pretty much ubiquitous, but you tune it out because it's not that loud. For some people it's a little louder than for others (they're the more attractive ones relative to your tastes). Then, like I said before, in pre-sex situations that noise starts to get louder and louder until it's nearly deafening, all one can hear and all one can think about (though to be honest I've always been able to ignore it, a simple "no" and I can turn it off, but most guys aren't like that).

So I've just successfully said the same thing twice. Hooray. Good luck figuring it all out.

 

[thahat]

Wow.

I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear someone refer to themselves as "only sixteen"(comes from a 17 year old, lol). Most people I know lost their virginity at 12-14 or are still virgins. Where's the damn middleground?!

From personal experience, I can confirm that it's easier to feel sexdrive once you've actually had sex - wanting to have sex is a sex drive. You'll probably feel it, either by being horny or just by longing to be that close to someone.

Because to me sex is about just that - being REALLY close to someone. I don't see anything appealing about having a one-night stand or anything, but being with my boyfriend is something I really look foward to.

Messy post, should go to bed. >_>
<_<

Btw. Most people that are on the age of 12-14 and say "I've had sex,Lulz". Haven't.

unless their stupid, then they might have with a simmilair girl XD

 

[Zaik]

So, from what I can gather, it's a subtle thing? It's just, with everyone around me wanting to nail anything with a heartbeat and an hairless armpit I was expecting something more ... obsessive ... no that's not the right word ... compulsive? Mentally over-powering? ... I was expecting it to have more .. umph behind it.

It's not anything overtly crazy. You're still in high school, *everyone* in high school is fucking retarded when it comes to that shit.

Hell, I had a guy in high school honestly try to convince me he was having sex with a girl, on average, 13 times a day, every day. That's just plain stupid.

 

[helldragonX]

For me it is a constant minor urge, kinda like a humming in the background....I dunno that the best way I can describe it.

 

[Shycte]

I would like to beileve that sex is about opening up to someone else. You remove all problems in the world and there is nothing to tie you down. It is just you and the person you love, and you are free, and you are togheter.

When you feel and urge to share this experience with someone. When you want to goo deep and touch another humans soul, that is a sex drive.

Or maybe she's hot and you want to bonk all night long. Could be that to.

 

[Shycte]

For me it is a constant minor urge, kinda like a humming in the background....I dunno that the best way I can describe it.

And constantly humming in one's pants. Amirite?

 

[Pvtghostgummy]

Nonexistent. I have worked hard on self betterment to have a sex drive, I have suppressed it into nonexistence.

I do have a drive too couple with a woman and have children.

What....

 

[Thebiggestpanda]

So, from what I can gather, it's a subtle thing? It's just, with everyone around me wanting to nail anything with a heartbeat and an hairless armpit I was expecting something more ... obsessive ... no that's not the right word ... compulsive? Mentally over-powering? ... I was expecting it to have more .. umph behind it.

haha umph is one word. I developed a little early and had a pretty strong sex drive by the time I was in third grade. For me at least, a sex drive is when you see someone and think "jesus I gotta have her". Basically the stronger it is, the more sex you'll want to have.

I think the more important thing to pay attention to is how comatible you and your partner are when it comes to sex. You wanna find someone who has close to the same ammount of drive as you do.

 

[Verp]

Those who are saying that he's overanalysing this... Remember that talking about feelings when you don't have them or aren't sure if you have them is difficult. When you don't have any personal experiences to draw from, you end up dancing around the subject because you rely on what you have learned mostly from other people. When talking about sex, people even very often just imply things or otherwise say things very vaguely because they want to be polite or because they assume they don't need to go into detail because you know them already from your own past experiences. You just basically lack the tools you're supposed to pick this apart with so you end up taking a massive detour to get to the core of the subject.

This matter becomes especially frustrating when there are people who both expect you to be interested and inquisitive about sex but at the same time try to rob you of the mental tools you usually use to analyse and process things. Let people try to make sense of the world on their own terms. There are many things that may come completely naturally to you so you don't really have to think about them, but other people may have to really think about them because they want to understand things even if they don't experience them the way you do.

As for the OP, I have nothing to add to the sex drive thing because I'm an aromantic ace with no libido. Although I think I know what sex drive technically is, descriptions of it are still bewildering to me and I'm 23 years old.

 

[the Dept of Science]

If you've never truly felt it, try not masturbating for a period of time (1 week at least). After a few days you start to get turned on really easily, dirty thought pop into your head at the slightest provocation and soon you will feel like if you don't let off the pressure, you are going to get a wet dream.

 

[ramboondiea]

i personal think the term sex drive is a broad term, i dont think it just means the urge to have sex, i reckon its an overall urge to pursue anything beyond acquittance with someone.

 

[Gilhelmi]

Nonexistent. I have worked hard on self betterment to have a sex drive, I have suppressed it into nonexistence.

I do have a drive too couple with a woman and have children.

yep, i understand what you're saying... but are you sure about nonexistence ? isn't it contradictory to say you want to couple with a woman without a pulsion ?


now funny question: are you a robot? XD
(dont take it personally)

Not really, I just want to focus on the relationship and not the sex.

now the funny answer: I have yet to disprove the fact that I am a cyborg.
(hehehe)

 

[helldragonX]

For me it is a constant minor urge, kinda like a humming in the background....I dunno that the best way I can describe it.

And constantly humming in one's pants. Amirite?

I was more talking about at the back of my mind, but ya there too.

 

[Orcus The Ultimate]

Nonexistent. I have worked hard on self betterment to have a sex drive, I have suppressed it into nonexistence.

I do have a drive too couple with a woman and have children.

yep, i understand what you're saying... but are you sure about nonexistence ? isn't it contradictory to say you want to couple with a woman without a pulsion ?


now funny question: are you a robot? XD
(dont take it personally)

Not really, I just want to focus on the relationship and not the sex.

now the funny answer: I have yet to disprove the fact that I am a cyborg.
(hehehe)

Finally! someone with a sense of humor!

btw: it is good to seek the most important part of a couple, instead of what's "in" or "cool"

 

[CrashBang]

I have no idea what heart burn feels like. I don't know if I've had it or not cos I can't work out or understand what it feels like so yeah I understand what you're going through
Except that I don't because a sex drive is just the need and desire to have sex with someone but I have no clue what heart burn is

 

[pharaoh malik]

Before I begin I think it's necessary to point out a couple things; I'm only 16; I'm a virgin; I don't know my sexuality; the whole 'not knowing' thing is starting to irk me.

Now to my main point. As humans we experience our world through a subjective view, and we can only sympathise with others through experience (at least, I imagine that is a limitation most of us have). So when it comes to the idea of a sex drive, I can't tell whether I'm normal or not because I can't get inside the head of other people[footnote]And I would prefer to ask through the anonymity and wider audience potential of the internet than throw my parents/siblings/some of my friends a curve-ball[/footnote]. My issue is this; I ca't tell what a sex-drive is meant to feel like because I can't experience what others can, and therefore I can't know if what I feel (or lack thereof) is what others feel or not.

So this is my question; What does a sex drive feel like to you? I ask because I want to know if I've experienced it and simply dismissed it as nothing, or if I haven't experienced it (yet?). It's also an interesting social experiment as well, to see if everyone who thinks they have/does have a sex drive feels it the same way as everyone else.

NOTE: Apologies to all those getting sick of these gay/sex/love/relationship threads, this has been bothering me for a while and I figured it would be less annoying if I throw it in as part of a whole bunch of threads rather than have it as a stand-alone sex-thread.

I think you're adorable and I want to hug you.

=w= You remind me of myself back in the days... hahaha. Okay enough of that.

Anyway. I was asking myself the same thing for a very long time. I wanted answers and I wanted them right away -- but that's not something that you can really control. You really gotta do the boring thing and wait for the answers to come to you. I'm just now coming to terms with my sexuality and I'm 21. You're 16, you're still young and you've got a lot of other things to worry about. Honestly, as far as the virginity goes -- I think it's something to be proud of and it's something you'll only regret rushing. Once you realize what you want, everything will seem a whole lot easier. Unfortunately I really can't tell you when that's gonna happen. It varies person to person.

Sex drives... can vary to certain degrees. I remember back when I was 16 having some sort of a sex drive, but not the same inclination I do now, at 21. At the time part of what I was feeling was curiosity and uncertainty -- mixed with some mildly pleasant feelings in the lower area. xD;; (well you asked) But... back then I wasn't ready for any sort of sexual activity and so I'm not sure if what I was feeling was really an inclination towards sex or the start of what would become a full fledged sex drive. Though -- masturbating was something I could do for fun, and guilt free in order to get rid of those mild urges. Now, well, now I just consider it all a completely different thing. My mind has recently been blown my a certain man in my life and I'm seeing sexuality on a whole new level. Just like life, I think it's one of those things that you learn through experience, and with time. And I sure as hell think it's one of those things you don't need to rush. I mean, all the people I know who rush into it not ready for it end up seriously regretting it. And that's something I wouldn't want for anybody.