About Valentine's Day

[Just Ebola]

SNIP

I disagree. Its a very cynical, but simple holiday. As I've said before I went to an all-guys High school. So I know when V-Day can around, no one was talking about doing something nice, something meaningful, something to show her she's a she and yadda yadda. It was all cold, mathematical talk about how much you have to spend to get what.

Went off to college, and nothing changed. Hung out with my rugby team with guys from across the nation. Every single guy had the same view. It was about getting the kinky sex. No one was saying "Hey guys, Katherine really likes dolphins so I hand sculpted her a silver dolphin candle holder with carved dolphins and a candle bought form a dolphin rescue center. All to show her how much I listen and care and understand her soul."
Yeah, bullshit. It was "God she has a hot ass body. Who knows a good chocolate store I can get her some candy before I get my blowjob?"

And in my professional life, nothings changed. Even the married dudes I know know its about sex. Because the really sweet, emotional, romantic malarkey? That takes place throughout the year. V-day is the day she wears the skimpy red lace.

Also when it comes to butt-stuff, read or watch the blogs from pornstars about behind the camera. There's no such thing as a...clean...scene.

That logic can be applied to pretty much any holiday. Christmas isn't about generosity, it's about gifts. Thanksgiving isn't about family, it's about food. 4th of July isn't about freedom, it's about fireworks. Halloween isn't about... whatever it's supposed to be about, it's about candy. I think it's got something to do with some sort of pagan something-or-other but that's a whole 'nother thing. Point is, every holiday can be cynical if you strip everything else away.

When someone tells me they went to an all boys or girls school, I have the same reaction as when someone tells me they were homeschooled. I nod politely, but in the back of my mind I can't help but think they missed out on a vital part of socializing when they were growing up. If I never got to interact with the opposite sex as a kid, I'd probably be busting at the seems about Valentine's day too. Besides, I thought anniversaries were the time to break out the freaky shit.

I consider myself a pretty cynical person, but even I see that viewpoint of V-day as a bit much. Romance is usually the first casualty of the day to day shuffle, so Valentine's day is an opportunity to make up for that. At least in my experience. I see your post more as an indictment of the modern male than anything else. Anyways, I can still see straight and therefore I'm not doing Valentines day right, better rectify that.

Oh no, you've made the mistake of thinking real life is like in the pornos, that's no Bueno. I've known many a squeamish person to practice butt stuff with little to no... incident.

 

[Pyrian]

Look, if you're a single straight male who'd rather not be single, and you're wasting Valentine's moping in envy instead of, say, courting single women in literally the best pick-up night of the year... Maybe the reason that you're single is because you're just not using the resources our society is trying to throw your way. Give a Valentine's card to every woman you like. Pass out pink roses on the street. Whatever. Do something.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

SNIP

I disagree. I think people educated in a uni-sex environment get something priceless over those in a mixed environment. They get an honest look at their gender, that's for lack of a better term, untainted by the other gender.

Put it this way. If you wanted to know what guys talk about when they're alone, who would you go to, the mixed sexed schoolers or the guys-only schoolers? Likewise gals. I know who I'd trust most. The un-filtered view of a gender is priceless compared to the mixed, compromised, edited, censored and judged view you'd get in a mixed school environment.

It may be distastful to know that locker room talk is 99% sexual and 1% sports, but its the truth. Spend 6 years(2 junior + 4 high school) in a guys locker room, and you know more about what guys talk about than any mixed-sexes schooler can ever claim.

So if I have a guy from a mixed gender environment saying Valentine's day is about romance and love and relationships and please don't bad mouth me to my girlfriend and a guy from a single gender school who can honestly admit its all about the sex and getting kinky, I know which one I'd believe.

And yes, most holidays are completely cynical commercialized and all about kinky sex for guys.

 

[Just Ebola]

SNIP

I disagree. I think people educated in a uni-sex environment get something priceless over those in a mixed environment. They get an honest look at their gender, that's for lack of a better term, untainted by the other gender.

Put it this way. If you wanted to know what guys talk about when they're alone, who would you go to, the mixed sexed schoolers or the guys-only schoolers? Likewise gals. I know who I'd trust most. The un-filtered view of a gender is priceless compared to the mixed, compromised, edited, censored and judged view you'd get in a mixed school environment.

It may be distastful to know that locker room talk is 99% sexual and 1% sports, but its the truth. Spend 6 years(2 junior + 4 high school) in a guys locker room, and you know more about what guys talk about than any mixed-sexes schooler can ever claim.

So if I have a guy from a mixed gender environment saying Valentine's day is about romance and love and relationships and please don't bad mouth me to my girlfriend and a guy from a single gender school who can honestly admit its all about the sex and getting kinky, I know which one I'd believe.

And yes, most holidays are completely cynical commercialized and all about kinky sex for guys.

Right, why get multiple perspectives when your own is so good, right? The thing you seem to miss is that people who went to co-ed schools got the unfiltered experience of having male peers as well as having female classmates.

I was a part of my high school's tennis team and remember all manner of locker room talk. Guys walking around naked, boasting of their latest sexual conquests, etc. But I had the added benefit of hearing my female friend's perspective of romance and life. I don't really see how you can argue that having half the experience of the gender spectrum is more beneficial than having both, especially when most co-ed students still get the unbridled masculine side. Or feminine side.

You act as if co-ed students get half the experience when in reality they get twice as much as those who go to (X) only schools. You can claim that your locker room was more male-centric, but that kind of falls apart when you realize that the guy's locker room is just for guys at literally every high school in the US.

As far as why all holidays aren't cynical cash-ins for either sex/money, I refer you to my previous post. If you choose to see every holiday as an excuse to further your own agendas, be they sexual or financial, I can't help but express the sympathy I mentioned earlier. But this sort of thing is kind of to be expected when you have no significant interactions with the opposite sex during your formative years. Which are, as the name suggests, formative.

Whether we like it or not, our early years color the attitudes we bring into adult life. I know you probably mean "locker room" as a kind of short hand for male-centric cliques where boobs and butts are discussed with impunity. And I assure you, they don't just exist in all-boys schools. The fact that you even consider growing up around girls as "tainting" the male experience is pretty telling.

Can we go back to talking about butts and anal sex and stuff? That was a lot less heavy and fun.

 

[Fijiman]

I'm only interested in the post-holiday candy sales for the most part. And while it would be nice to have someone to celibate the day with, it"d be hard since the day also marks the beginning of the downward spiral of my dental care and it's also a few days off from the day my dad fell down the stairs which pretty much lead to his death. So, in conclusion, Valentines is not a particularly joyous time for me.

 

[BeeGeenie]

This thread makes me suddenly see a parallel. Complaining about people enjoying Valentine's Day, just because they have a significant other and you don't is a bit like complaining about black history month. You have a whole year to not care whether you're in a relationship, don't rain on the parade when people take one day out of the year to celebrate relationships.

I, for one, just spent all day delivering singing valentines to people who have WAY more relationship success than I ever will.
It was fun to be a part of making their day special, even if I went home to an empty apartment.

 

[Baffle]

courting single women in literally the best pick-up night of the year

I think New Years Eve is probably better but there's no reason not to try both. Double or nothing!

 

[Lieju]

Eh, Valentine's day is more about platonic friendship in Finland anyway so...
And even my non Finnish friends celebrate friendship on that day a lot even if they're in a relationship?

I never considered this holiday much, it's generally an excuse to do something with my friends or GF. Like watch a movie together or something.

 

[McElroy]

Look, if you're a single straight male who'd rather not be single, and you're wasting Valentine's moping in envy instead of, say, courting single women in literally the best pick-up night of the year... Maybe the reason that you're single is because you're just not using the resources our society is trying to throw your way. Give a Valentine's card to every woman you like. Pass out pink roses on the street. Whatever. Do something.

Well, uh... I'm not spending money on what's basically thrash. I've got principles! Anyway, a fine idea in theory, but it asks for a lot of preparation from a guy who spends almost all of his days alone.

OT: Personally I just jokingly call it Single Awareness Day and forget. Though I did send some Tinder messages yesterday.

 

[sageoftruth]

To me, it has always been a holiday about giving money to Hallmark, just like Mother's day and Father's day. As far as I'm concerned Valentine's Day doesn't exist. I have a roommate whose entire family feels the same way.

 

[sageoftruth]

This thread makes me suddenly see a parallel. Complaining about people enjoying Valentine's Day, just because they have a significant other and you don't is a bit like complaining about black history month. You have a whole year to not care whether you're in a relationship, don't rain on the parade when people take one day out of the year to celebrate relationships.

I, for one, just spent all day delivering singing valentines to people who have WAY more relationship success than I ever will.
It was fun to be a part of making their day special, even if I went home to an empty apartment.

I'm with you there, at least halfway. Treating holidays as anything other than days off from work, has never really been my thing, but seeing people complain about it strikes me as rather petty. If anything, I'm usually grateful that I don't have to do anything special on Valentine's Day and can just stick to my usual routine, (and buy some heart-shaped candy while I'm at it).

 

[sageoftruth]

SNIP

I disagree. I think people educated in a uni-sex environment get something priceless over those in a mixed environment. They get an honest look at their gender, that's for lack of a better term, untainted by the other gender.

Put it this way. If you wanted to know what guys talk about when they're alone, who would you go to, the mixed sexed schoolers or the guys-only schoolers? Likewise gals. I know who I'd trust most. The un-filtered view of a gender is priceless compared to the mixed, compromised, edited, censored and judged view you'd get in a mixed school environment.

It may be distastful to know that locker room talk is 99% sexual and 1% sports, but its the truth. Spend 6 years(2 junior + 4 high school) in a guys locker room, and you know more about what guys talk about than any mixed-sexes schooler can ever claim.

So if I have a guy from a mixed gender environment saying Valentine's day is about romance and love and relationships and please don't bad mouth me to my girlfriend and a guy from a single gender school who can honestly admit its all about the sex and getting kinky, I know which one I'd believe.

And yes, most holidays are completely cynical commercialized and all about kinky sex for guys.

I know Ebola Chan covered this already, but I think the important short version is basically that while us guys tend to "put a lid on it" when women are listening, even the all-male scene is not completely unfiltered. Being a sappy romantic is something most guys would feel uncomfortable admitting to in an all-boys scene, which may be why the talk was all about money and sex.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

We all know the appeal of Christmas and Thanksgiving, getting together with people you like and celebrate.

Also the appeal of Valentine's. Xmas and Thanksgiving are no different - either you have someone to celebrate with or don't. Not the most important thing in the universe, just something nice to do if you have the chance and feel like it.

 

[Igor-Rowan]

Snip

I guess when we talk about over-comercialization at on of these holidays, we express fear they might become corrupt with it, and in the last few years, Valentine's Day definitely gave away that vibe, the message went from "spread the love among people you love" to "make it special for the one people that matters on this day". I may be overthinking this, who knows? But I do feel like people nowadays are more hesitant to express love because of what Silentpony said: "more about sex than love"

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Snip

I guess when we talk about over-comercialization at on of these holidays, we express fear they might become corrupt with it, and in the last few years, Valentine's Day definitely gave away that vibe, the message went from "spread the love among people you love" to "make it special for the one people that matters on this day". I may be overthinking this, who knows? But I do feel like people nowadays are more hesitant to express love because of what Silentpony said: "more about sex than love"

I did indeed fuck my girlfriend yesterday, but love was definitely a part of it.

 

[Kitsune Hunter]

I do not like this holiday one bit, I'm very much aware of the possibility that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life and slowly starting to not care about it, but at the same time, I don't need it to be rubbed in my face. Plus, I really can't stand most of the girls in my country since they'll pretty much all the same and by that I mean in terms of both appearance and personality, they're of "low quality" (ie: chavs)

 

[CaitSeith]

This thread is amazing! Grief, happiness, envy, hope, indifference, commercialization, butt-sex... it has everything!

OT: Is love something fairly universal? By the way strangers threat treat each other on the street (or on the internet), the statement seems dubious.

 

[Pyrian]

Give a Valentine's card to every woman you like. Pass out pink roses on the street. Whatever. Do something.

Well, uh... I'm not spending money on what's basically thrash.

Hand-made Valentines and wild-picked flowers are extra-special.

Anyway, a fine idea in theory, but it asks for a lot of preparation from a guy who spends almost all of his days alone.

Spending all your time alone gives you lots of preparation time, and it's not like you don't know when it's coming. Feb 14th, every year. Flowers die quickly but cards keep well.

I do not like this holiday one bit, I'm very much aware of the possibility that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life and slowly starting to not care about it, but at the same time, I don't need it to be rubbed in my face.

If you choose to separate yourself from the bulk of society, you don't get to complain about the bulk of society not really caring much about your personal preferences. If we're not important to you, then you're not important to us.

Plus, I really can't stand most of the girls in my country since they'll pretty much all the same and by that I mean in terms of both appearance and personality, they're of "low quality" (ie: chavs)

Setting aside the implied misogyny and probably personal problems... Love is first and foremost a sorting problem that is heavily stacked against literally everyone. Looking for a needle in a haystack is IMO a very productive way to view the dating process.

 

[Phasmal]

If you don't have a significant other or the one you have isn't interested in it, then it's NOT FOR YOU. It's for the people who are into it.

As a kid it was just another way to get candy. As an adult it's either "meh, nothing special" or "Aww, I wuv woo".

I'm kind of sick of the pessimism I see on Facebook and elsewhere about it every year. GREAT. You're alone and don't care about valentine's day. Nobody fucking cares. Let the people who enjoy it actually enjoy it.

Just like any Holiday, unless you live in an area filled with Christmas with the Kranks psychopaths, you can celebrate it however the hell you want and no one should care. And if they do care, fuck them. I'll have Taco Bell and strawberry shortcake for Thanksgiving dinner if I want to, and we'll give gifts on the Fourth of July under a miniature recreation of Mount Rushmore.

Mm, yeah, this.
I've kind of learned not to mention Valentine's Day unless directly asked about it lest the bitter single people I know word-vomit all over me about how Valentines is just commercialised and that couples should love each other every day.

Hell, I even worked with a guy a few years back who got really arsey about the fact that I had Valentine's Day off that year (I hadn't booked it, it was just coincidence)- because in his words he wanted people in relationships to be stuck at work all day so they would also be miserable. Yikes.

I never gave much of a shit about Valentine's Day when I was single. I still barely take notice of it.

Spoiler: We all know the only reason to care about Valentine's Day...

 

[Schadrach]

And yes, most holidays are completely cynical commercialized and all about kinky sex for guys.

Thanksgiving is about kinky sex? I may not want to eat your turkey. And here I thought it was about feasting until you can't move and being glad you can afford to feast until you can't move.

I'm only interested in the post-holiday candy sales for the most part. And while it would be nice to have someone to celibate the day with, it"d be hard since the day also marks the beginning of the downward spiral of my dental care and it's also a few days off from the day my dad fell down the stairs which pretty much lead to his death. So, in conclusion, Valentines is not a particularly joyous time for me.

"celibate the day"? Now that's a Freudian slip if ever I've seen one.

As for candy sales, I like to think of Valentine's Day as "chocolate eve".