Absolute Gaming Truths

[Et3rnalLegend64]

Shotguns have absolutely horrendous range due to their extreme spread. You can't effectively kill anything more than 10 feet away. If the other guy has an automatic, you are not guaranteed to kill him in time before he turns around at 10 feet away. If he has an automatic and knows you're there, you are not guaranteed to kill him before he kills you if you are more than 5 feet away.

 

[SonicKoala]

No matter how hard you try or how good you are. there are at least 10 people better then you online at that moment.

This. No matter how awesome you think you are, there is ALWAYS going to be somebody better - even someone who happens to be on top of an online leaderboard isn't necessarily the best.

 

[Spitfire175]

Automatic firearms have no recoil and jam only in Africa.

 

[pumasuit]

Playing a multiplayer game with a friend you can not defeat is the best way to end that friendship.

 

[sadx12]

Beating all the Half-Life games will lead anyone into depression waiting for episode 3.

Being new in an online fps will most surely get your ass filled with bullets.

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

health items always have a red cross on them... which is why i would develop mines with the same symbol if i became more sinister.

Endings are always disappointing.

If there's a console edit function, there's a cheat.

Red means Health, Blue means Mana (not magic,) Yellow means Stamina, Green means... ?? not sure

Temporary stat boost

 

[Et3rnalLegend64]

In any RPG, the main character will almost always use or start out with a sword. Even if in the case that it is not a sword, it will never be a blunt weapon (with the exception of your fists)

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

Addendum: A gun is almost never deadlier than a sword. As well, it is fully possible to take multiple hits from either one.

If you are in a FPS, your knife/melee will kill anything within 3 feet of you in one hit.

(Exception: gunz)

 

[Wintermoot]

Final Fantasy is not THE Final Fantasy

 

[skathe]

No guy can ever beat their girlfriend and Mario Kart. It's impossible. It's almost better to not try.

You're right. Beating your girlfriend and beating Mario Kart simultaneously is pretty tough. Unless you're Zaphod Beeblebrox, so you have that second head to watch the monitor while you beat her senseless with your third arm.

 

[Revolutionary]

The protagonist kills the bad guys, gets the love intrest and repeats the process with awesome style.

 

[Puzzles]

A god damn bullet wound to anywhere but the head doesn't affect a persons ability to continue fighting. Mostly. I want that kind of bad ass body.

 

[Tsuillo]

no matter how much of a threat you may pose to some evil genius's sinister plans, at the beginning they will only send feeble henchmen and lackeys with far inferior weaponry.

The Atomic powered full automatic nuclear catapults, and all the other sweet weaponry that could actually do some damage, will only be deployed to stop you once you've tracked down the villain at his third secret base.

And even then, only moments after you've stumbled across the weapon that happens to be their weak point.



Also, any series of defense structures, security checkpoints, or Death-traps will always have a puzzle or sequence of consoles render them useless; conveniently placed in their blindspot.

 

[War Penguin]

Every corporation is evil.

 

[Aitruis]

The Grand List of RPG Cliches.

http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

The higher the hair, the closer to God.

 

[Twilight_guy]

No matter how hard you try, everyone will still complain about your game.

Every rumor, myth and legend you hear is absolutely true... always.
Shinny stuff is good to collect.
Enemies who are exactly the same but where a slightly different color shirt are much tougher.
There is always a boss monster at the end.
The mystical thing is always in the deep darkest crevasse in a monster filled hole in the ground.
The big evil bad guy does not understand the concepts of stairs or bridges and will have a castle that can only be accessed by traipsing around the world for mystical items to open it.
Shot it's weak point for MASSIVE damage!
The big evil guy is thoughtful enough to lob enemies at you slowly starting with guys and approving up to tough guys so that you can have a fighting chance rather then sending 5 billion uber minions to kill you all at once.
You can get to every chest in the game somehow.
Do a barrel roll.
Punching a guy in the face is far more damage then shooting him several times.
Nobody else is trying to save the world, presumable because they are all to busy overcharging their last hope to survive to buy items to stay alive and save their asses and repeating the same dialogue over and over.
All your base are belong to us.
Everyone in the world accepts the same form of money, even if they're in a warring country or have been in a time-warp for several thousand years.

 

[kawaiiamethist]

No guy can ever beat their girlfriend and Mario Kart. It's impossible. It's almost better to not try.

Oh, I'm sure guys can do both at once. ^_- He could be kicking her while he's beating her at the game, or mentally abusing her.

 

[sephiroth1991]

I can get ammo by simple walking over a dropped gun.

 

[Deleted]

Everyone in the city has super invincibility armor except you.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

the next FIFA, NFL, PGA etc sequel could hav all been done with DLC for last years title