Absolute Gaming Truths

[Caligulove]

There are little repercussions to taking stuff when no one is around- even in someones house

 

[xqxm]

Wherever you choose to shoot Zakhaev, his decoy arm will shoot off, to confuse you and allow him to make his escape. Oh, Russians, you clever dogs.

Wherever you choose to shoot him the second time around, he will instantly die from the sheer shock and the audacity of your actions.

 

[BaldursBananaSoap]

Female/shemale JRPG characters take six hours to get dressed.

 

[Caligulove]

serious injuries are not equal-opportunity killers when a Main Character is involved

 

[funguy2121]

No guy can ever beat their girlfriend and Mario Kart. It's impossible. It's almost better to not try.

Everybody who has ever played The Sims has made their boss and put them in a room with no windows, no doors, and several ovens.

That's called "letting them win," and you should have developed better getting-laid tactics by now.

For shame.

Edit: also, as there is a great variety of gamers out there, you should never enter an online forum and post comments referring to TF2, GZGLA17, etc.

 

[EuanMack]

If a light flickers off and on, your about to die

 

[Distorted Stu]

Everyone is able to stand up forever if they wanted

 

[Soxafloppin]

Theres a few enemies beside that exploding barrel.

Shoot it.

allso, you should really pay more attension to the cutscenes your NOT in.

 

[Phenakist]

More Variables = Less Balance

 

[DRTJR]

if both parents are alive one or both will die before the end of the tutorial

 

[rokkolpo]

fire will never look as good as in real life.

 

[Garaw]

The only certainties are death and crates.

Your total encumbrance is equal to the weight of whatever weapon you have equipped.

Let dramatic musical stings be your guide.

 

[ejb626]

You can take several bullets to the chest but as long as you stay out of the way of fire, the wounds will go away.

 

[SextusMaximus]

Grenades in the future are slow enough for you to lean over, pick them up, cook a pancake, visit the moon and then toss into a russians mouth.

 

[Cowabungaa]

You must always gather your party before venturing forth.

Ahhh the memories!!! *sobs* Stupid Carth getting stuck behind nearly everything.

Anyway:
The melee attack is always more powerful than your other weapons.

 

[Raddragon]

You can drink as many health potions as you want and never get sick. Actually, they are health potions, it would be awkward if you did.

When no health potions are avaible, there are always NPC's.

When you feel like you beat a boring game, your about at half...of the first part.

NPC's love to hide stuff in open chests.

Monsters have huge invisible pockets. Thats where they keep their loot.
This loot usually pops out once the monsters die. Sometimes you have to reach into the invisible pocket first.

On average, a NPC wastes more money buying a chest than the money wasted on whatever he puts inside it. On average, the same NPC will most likely leave the chest unlocked...

Most JRPG's have skinny women claiming to be men.

Your magical vision allows you to see cut scenes from as far as the whole game world so long as something relevant to the story is happening there.

Secret Organizations trying to alter DNA for the good of mankind and society usually end up getting the exact opposite of what they aimed for.

Big bads are always big but not always bad.

 

[crypt-creature]

Green means... ?? not sure

Green means 'other' (anything from shields, secondary attacks, to guinea pigs and so on).

Powerful explosives are often useless against most walls.

 

[Dok Zombie]

Once you defeated a bunch of enemies hiding behind a mounted machine gun, another load of enemies will enter from the direction you came from so you can use the MG on them.

 

[Jamiemitsu]

Your character will stand completely still during a cutscene while the arch villain activates his doom-ray/ "true form".

 

[Latinidiot]

cutscenes can make or break a game.