Accidental Lewdness

[2012 Wont Happen]

Well, yeah, sorta, but this requires a story:

I'm in a U.S. History AP class. Me and my class kept laughing at unintentionally dirty things that our teacher (further to be referred to as "Wagner" because that is his last name) would say. It got so out that Wagner decided to give us a message about when it was ok to laugh because it was an INTENTIONAL sexual joke (which he very occasionally makes). So, he said that, if it was intentional, he would put his pencil sharpener on top of the shelf as a signal.

So, the other day, I came into class and the pencil sharpeners were already on the shelf, as he had put them there in the last period not thinking about what he had told my class. So, throughout the entire class, anytime he said something possibly dirty I would laugh, and no one else was doing so. I guess they didn't see it on the shelf but I DID damnit!

So, anyway, it was unintentionally dirty because he missed that he had the pencil sharpener on a shelf...

 

[Dragon_of_red]

... thats enough of that...

Yeah, that was enough of that at around the 3rd one.

Since im a teenager, anything i say around my friends is taken in a sexuel manner... its really gets on your nerves.

 

[badgersprite]

I saw an article today on Fark discussing pick-up lines, and one of the suggestions for ones which is "effective" was:

"I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips"

Obviously, it's meant to showcase cleverness/sweetness/desperation, but it becomes really, really, bad if anyone knows the Shakespearean use of "die" as in:

"I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes" from Much Ado About Nothing.

Given the similarity between the Shakespeare and the pick-up line, I can't help but assume some allusion going on there. The problem is that in the Shakespeare quotation, "die" doesn't just mean "cease to live" but "to experience orgasm". I'm sure the lewdness of telling a woman you'd really like to orgasm on her lips was accidental, but I find it hilarious nonetheless.

Do you guys (and girls) have any examples like this, where something is only lewd, raunchy, or a double-entendre because someone missed something?

I can tell I like euphemisms too much because once I found out what "die" meant in Shakespearean I was all hornified.

Yeah I'm sad...I know.

Even worse when you use 'know' in the Biblical sense. oO

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

I recently had duct tape across my mouth (long story, don't ask) and a while after it was taken off, I said "The sticky stuff is still on my face." My friend proceeded to punch me and tell me not to go gay on him.

My friend was playing uncharted 2 online and he did that thing where you grab someone from hanging and pull them off the edge. He goes "I just yanked that guy off" I reply with "you would, fag"

oh look, homophobia...

CURSES!!! FOILED AGAIN! How did he ever know that anyone who uses "fag" on the internet or when busting his friends balls was a hard core homophobe!?!?! I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME HE MAAAAAAAN!!!

 

[Skuffyshootster]

Why was there no "So much BLOOODDDD!!!!"?

I'm in 9th grade. It's impossible to say something without it being interpreted sexually.

 

[Bassman_2]

Why was there no "So much BLOOODDDD!!!!"?

I'm in 9th grade. It's impossible to say something without it being interpreted sexually.

"That's what she said!"
To above sentence "That's what she said!"
To above sentence "That's what she said!"

And so on. It gets really hold unless it is actually a really funny one.

 

[Avatar Roku]

Why was there no "So much BLOOODDDD!!!!"?

I'm in 9th grade. It's impossible to say something without it being interpreted sexually.

"That's what she said!"
To above sentence "That's what she said!"
To above sentence "That's what she said!"

And so on. It gets really hold unless it is actually a really funny one.

As far as I'm concerned, the only good "That's what she said" or "Your mother" joke ever was in the Meet the Spy video.