Advice on how to solve a hypothetical situation

[The Rogue Wolf]

She sounds pretty selfish to me, demanding that you put her desire for grandkids above finding someone you love. I think it comes down to who you want to live your life for- yourself, or her?

In her defense, a lot of it is also motivated by the misfortunes of a former neighbor of ours. Don't want that happening to me.

Well, herein lies the rub: Misfortunes can happen in any relationship. My last relationship ended with the woman ripping me off for a couple thousand dollars, ruining my credit and skipping town. It took me years to recover.

 

[Trunkage]

and that blood is generally thicker than water.

It's quite funny how this phrase has been taken out of context to such an extreme that it now means the opposite of its original meaning.

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" is the full phrase. It means that those you CHOOSE to be with are more important than those you are associated to by family ties.

If someone in your family isn't happy about your life choices regarding your romantic partners then that family member, mother, sibling, cousin or otherwise, can go take a long walk off a short pier.

This.

Also, why is your mothers approval important to you? Your parents will hate something about what you do. Always, and every parent. My parents approval doesn't have an effect on my happiness or contentment. They'll have their opinions and that doesn't affect me.

But then people find it weird that I talk nicely to people I hate at work. My desire to be a nice person overrides any distaste I have for a person.

 

[Ugicywapih]

As I understand it, reasons why OP's mom would be reluctant to accept a same sex relationship are more or less conjecture and in half the cases provided (falling into someone's trap) not really linked to homosexuality.
So, if a guy like that appears, maybe introduce him to your mom and let her get used to him before getting anywhere serious, talk it out with her, that sort of thing? Between options for grandkids having already been mentioned and an opportunity to build some trust, I think the issues raised should not pose a problem, unless the Hypothetical Guy and mom just don't get along or the issue is something different altogether, like religion-based bias or something.

Edit: Aaand now I'm wondering what sort of superpower would a Hypothetical Guy have and if he'd be a hero or a villain...

 

[Palindromemordnilap_v1legacy]

because my mom's convinced, through the events of a neighbor's life, that gay people are evil (with my cousin, who's a lesbian, presumably being the sole exception)

If she has apparently made an exception for your cousin then why would she not make one for you?

I'm not gay, I'm bi. I'm asking for the sake of a hypothetical husband I might get in the future (for all I know).

And how does that negate what I'm saying? You are asking "If I ever got into a same sex relationship, how would my mother react?" yes? Well your cousin got into a same sex relationship and your mother can apparently get over it for her, so why would it be different for you? If she's running on the "I think the gays are evil...oh except for the ones I know" logic then surely you have less to worry about than you think

 

[DarklordKyo]

Well your cousin got into a same sex relationship and your mother can apparently get over it for her, so why would it be different for you? If she's running on the "I think the gays are evil...oh except for the ones I know" logic then surely you have less to worry about than you think

I guess the logic is that she's less connected in a relative sense, being my cousin as opposed to her kid. Slightly easier pill to swallow for a peripheral relative (that's one on my dad's side) to screw themselves over than your own child (keyword being slightly).

 

[Palindromemordnilap_v1legacy]

Wouldn't being a closer relative mean she should have stronger ties to you and would be more accepting than she would of a niece (or whatever relation the cousin is to her)?

 

[Sentay]

Welcome to adulthood where sometimes you have to realize that your family are kinda shitty people, ultimately you have to do what is right for you (and then deal with the aftermath afterwards).

 

[Vanilla ISIS]

You're overthinkng it.
From what you've said, you're on good terms with your mother so I'm sure she'll understand.
It's the current year, she probably knows that the times have changed.
You'll be fine.