After They Nail It Shut

[Canadianwookie]

The question I pose is simple:

What would your ideal funeral be?

I personally want one where my body gets shipped to sea viking style with all my possessions near a cliff face, and on top of the hill, a single piper plays a mournful tune.

Then you get cake!

 

[Zombie_King]

Strap my corpse, dressed in full tuxedo and martini glass sewn onto my hands, onto an atomic bomb.

The name's Bomb. James Bomb.

 

[Amnestic]

Ideally my funeral will start two weeks before my death. It'd be one massive party about how awesome my life was. It'd last two weeks until my body finally succumbed and gave in from the awesomeness of it all.

Then they'd use my body for medical science/organ donations. After that they can cremate it and toss the ashes over a celebrity I dislike as one final "FUCK YOU!" to the Hollywood world.

That's the current plan anyway.

 

[Archereus]

i would like my death the pirate way. Put into the sea rapped in blackets and shot a fire arrow at my body and i float the sea in a flamming effigy until my body turns into ash and mends with the sea. AH so peaceful

 

[axia777]

If I could have any thing done for my funeral I would like to be shot in to the Sun to become the basest molecular material again to be blown out across the solar winds into deep space. One with the Universe again.

 

[Tattaglia]

I'd like to be put into a cannon and fired into Ashton Kutcher's house, strapped with C4 and a tape saying: "You just got Punk'd!"
Serves you right for wearing a trucker cap every day of your life. Asshole.

 

[Nimbus]

i would like my death the pirate way. Put into the sea rapped in blackets and shot a fire arrow at my body and i float the sea in a flamming effigy until my body turns into ash and mends with the sea. AH so peaceful

Without a "W", that takes on a whole new meaning...

I want to go out in a blaze of glory. Suit made of fireworks anyone?

 

[JMeganSnow]

I won't care, I'll be dead. I'm contemplating not making any provisions at all for my death just so it'll be a big headache for everyone involved and no one will be able to remember me without a wince.

 

[alloneword]

My ideal way to die is by sexual exhaustion .

But my ideal service will be something quite different. When I die, I will be cremated, and put into an urn, which has been decorated on half of the surface to reflect what I have achieved in my life. If, when I die, I am married, my urn will be given to my wife until the point that she dies. When she does, she will also be cremated and put into the same urn that I am, and the remaining side of the urn will be decorated with her accomplishments. The urn will then be given to the executor of our joined will, for a number of days equal to the number of years which we have been together. Once that time is up, our ashes will be taken to a place which we have both deemed significant to our relationship and marriage, the ashes will be scattered, put into water, thrown to the wind, etc.

 

[ElephantGuts]

I've always liked the idea of an Ancient Greece-style funeral pyre burning on a sea shore at dusk while my comrades-at-arms stand around silently holding their helmets to their chests, watching the flames burn and mourning my passing.

 

[L.B. Jeffries]

Cremated. All of my friends will arrive at a paid-for liquor filled feast. After hours of everyone telling stories about me, a tape will be put on. I will tell of them how much I appreciate their company and that I love them. Then I will explain that I will be a part of them forever, because my ashes have been mixed with the food and booze.

 

[Anton P. Nym]

Truly doesn't matter to me; I'll be finished with the body, so donate whatever bodyparts will do someone any good and then get rid of the rest however's most convenient for my heirs and assigns. Cremate, bury, grind into catfood, don't matter to me so long as it's not something that will place a burden on my friends and family.

Maybe an Irish-style wake, though I don't particularly care to be propped up in a corner somewhere literally haunting the proceedings as I doubt I'd be a suitable conversation piece at that point.

-- Steve

 

[ElephantGuts]

Cremated. All of my friends will arrive at a paid-for liquor filled feast. After hours of everyone telling stories about me, a tape will be put on. I will tell of them how much I appreciate their company and that I love them. Then I will explain that I will be a part of them forever, because my ashes have been mixed with the food and booze.

Forever? Or until they go to the bathroom? Still a funny idea though.

 

[L.B. Jeffries]

Cremated. All of my friends will arrive at a paid-for liquor filled feast. After hours of everyone telling stories about me, a tape will be put on. I will tell of them how much I appreciate their company and that I love them. Then I will explain that I will be a part of them forever, because my ashes have been mixed with the food and booze.

Forever? Or until they go to the bathroom? Still a funny idea though.

Forever.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Cremated, then buried at my old house where I used to live in. Then all of my family and comrades get to listen to "The Best Is Yet To Come" from Metal Gear Solid as the airtight chalice that holds my remains is entrusted to the Earth.

 

[Hunde Des Krieg]

I want my body to be shot into the sun! As for a funeral I couldn't give a shit, I'd be dead!

 

[gamebrain89]

my body sealed inside a bartop, and have an open bar.

A friend of mine said that when he died everyone in the world would suddenly look, up and say, "Todays going to be a great day!"

 

[fluffylandmine]

My way of prefered death wouldn't allow for my body(should it still be considered one) to be found or recognized. That's all I can say.

But I do plan on rickrolling at my memorium: the video saying 'my final will and testament' will actually be Rick Astley's.

 

[NewClassic_v1legacy]

I would ask that an actor dress us as me, put extensive make-up to look like me, and that talks like me to give a speech written by me. Then, I would ask to be cremated, using the involved with that process to briefly power a typewriter attached to an infinite number of monkeys that will hopefully recreate the full works of Shakespear.

 

[KittywifaMohawk]

i would like my death the pirate way. Put into the sea rapped in blackets and shot a fire arrow at my body and i float the sea in a flamming effigy until my body turns into ash and mends with the sea. AH so peaceful

I always thought that was the viking burial. Oh well nice to know I'm not the only one who wants to go out like that.

I would love to be sent to sea on a small boat. With my dead body on it, and a fire arrow shot onto me. And then my loved ones watched as I sailed away burning.