Age gaps within relationships, What are your views on it.

[Parasondox]

Well, I'm 22, coming into 23 in two days, and my girlfriend is 17.

We both care about each other deeply, and knowing that, I don't even think about the age gap anymore.

I think age gaps only sound larger when the couples are younger. For example, I was 18 when my girlfriend was 12. Because the first 20 years or so of your life you're going from baby, to toddler, to child, to adolescent, to teenager, to young adult then to adult. But after adult, that's it. When my girlfriend is 18, we're both adults, and suddenly it doesn't matter at all how many years are between us.

17 is a strange age legal wise in the UK cause you are stuck in the middle. On one hand you are legally a consenting adult when it comes to sex (Age of consent is 16 here). You can join the army at 16 plus but can't buy cigarettes or alcohol until you are 18 but consumer both cigs and alcohol at 16. You also can't vote until you are 18 with the Labour party wishing to lower the voting age to 16. Stuck in the middle at 17 really.

I was in a similar case to you. I was 22 and she was 18 and only one person I knew commented to me saying "That's not right, and a bit creepy" cause she was 18. Strange because we have a 4 year gap and her and I are adults. We were happy and loved each other deeply and both acted mature. I'll never forget her and it's really tough after her passing.

 

[DanielBrown]

To each their own. It's not my business to judge, as long as it's mutual and legal, but in some cases I can't help feeling disgusted.
An old classmate of mine started fucking some 50+ year old man when she was 18-20 years old. I believe he was being used for free booze. They're now married. He's rich and she's become a housewife. He also has a kid that's like three years younger than her...
I've never had huge age gaps in relationships myself. Three years older, two years younger at the most iirc. In general I feel the "age/2+7"-rule works quite well.

 

[GTMippey]

Well, I'm 22, coming into 23 in two days, and my girlfriend is 17.

We both care about each other deeply, and knowing that, I don't even think about the age gap anymore.

I think age gaps only sound larger when the couples are younger. For example, I was 18 when my girlfriend was 12. Because the first 20 years or so of your life you're going from baby, to toddler, to child, to adolescent, to teenager, to young adult then to adult. But after adult, that's it. When my girlfriend is 18, we're both adults, and suddenly it doesn't matter at all how many years are between us.

17 is a strange age legal wise in the UK cause you are stuck in the middle. On one hand you are legally a consenting adult when it comes to sex (Age of consent is 16 here). You can join the army at 16 plus but can't buy cigarettes or alcohol until you are 18 but consumer both cigs and alcohol at 16. You also can't vote until you are 18 with the Labour party wishing to lower the voting age to 16. Stuck in the middle at 17 really.

I was in a similar case to you. I was 22 and she was 18 and only one person I knew commented to me saying "That's not right, and a bit creepy" cause she was 18. Strange because we have a 4 year gap and her and I are adults. We were happy and loved each other deeply and both acted mature. I'll never forget her and it's really tough after her passing.

I live in Australia. I'm not too well versed on the legality of it all when it comes to relationships and consent but I know the legal age for most things is 18.

It's not like we pretended the gap wasn't there or anything. We decided to stay private for over a month, opting to not tell anyone else except close friends until her parents knew about us. We know there are limits to what we should be doing, and I've stated that I'm perfectly fine waiting until she is 18 before we have sex. I really care about this girl and I'm not willing to jeapordise our relationship over physical activity. In all honesty, it isn't the easiest thing to resist temptation, but I'm just going to grin and bear it because in the end, I have an emotional investment that far outweighs any physical one.

And I'm deeply sorry to hear that she passed, that has to be a tough thing to deal with my thoughts to you, her and your families my friend.

 

[superpandasauras]

I think it gets weird past 4 years difference, but as long as they're both OK with it then I guess it's aight with me.

 

[Parasondox]

17 is a strange age legal wise in the UK cause you are stuck in the middle. On one hand you are legally a consenting adult when it comes to sex (Age of consent is 16 here). You can join the army at 16 plus but can't buy cigarettes or alcohol until you are 18 but consumer both cigs and alcohol at 16. You also can't vote until you are 18 with the Labour party wishing to lower the voting age to 16. Stuck in the middle at 17 really.

I was in a similar case to you. I was 22 and she was 18 and only one person I knew commented to me saying "That's not right, and a bit creepy" cause she was 18. Strange because we have a 4 year gap and her and I are adults. We were happy and loved each other deeply and both acted mature. I'll never forget her and it's really tough after her passing.

I live in Australia. I'm not too well versed on the legality of it all when it comes to relationships and consent but I know the legal age for most things is 18.

It's not like we pretended the gap wasn't there or anything. We decided to stay private for over a month, opting to not tell anyone else except close friends until her parents knew about us. We know there are limits to what we should be doing, and I've stated that I'm perfectly fine waiting until she is 18 before we have sex. I really care about this girl and I'm not willing to jeapordise our relationship over physical activity. In all honesty, it isn't the easiest thing to resist temptation, but I'm just going to grin and bear it because in the end, I have an emotional investment that far outweighs any physical one.

And I'm deeply sorry to hear that she passed, that has to be a tough thing to deal with my thoughts to you, her and your families my friend.

Thank you I really appreciate that a lot and something I don't want happening to anyone really.

You have a healthy relationship with respect, trust and honour and those are the main key points to having a stable loving relationship. You are both happy with each other, you are building a relationship more and more and you both have a strong emotional investment with each other which is great and hope no one, comments on the age gap and stuff. I'm happy for you both

 

[lvramire]

I thought that there was a formula that applied to this, the half your age + 7 rule. So for example, if you're 18, the minimum is 16 and that sounds almost right. It's not really hard and fast, but seems like something to quickly tell if an age disparity is likely to be 'squicky' in the eyes of society or not.

 

[Something Amyss]

My mother is 10 years older than my father and they have been happily married for 20 years and counting.

My girlfriend's parents are a decade apart in age and met at a younger at than we did, and she still thinks it's weeeeeird. Isn't that funny? I'm turning 34. My girlfriend's turning 25.

I honestly used to feel weird about it. But the thing is, she's not just legally an adult but fully emotionally and developmentally an adult. I mean, there's issues I'd have with dating a teenager even at a legal age, and even 20 seems too much at this point. It's said that you're not finished cooking until you're in your mid-twenties, give or take. So besides the occasional realisation that when I was 18 she was...9...Or that the Simpsons have always been around in her lifetime, it doesn't matter. And I also don't care what others say. She's intelligent, funny, caring, and always makes me smile. Oh, and a lot of common interests.

Assuming we're talking about adults, I don't think it's anyone else's business. I certainly think that once the younger party is in their mid-twenties it ceases to be much of an issue.

Glad you said mid-twenties. Otherwise I'd feel creepy again.

Then again, between the two of us, she's the mature one. I'm glad I was a mature six year old, because that's the time my mind stopped maturing.

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