Alien Vampire Fails to Conquer Seatle

[Wildrow12]

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2011328876_bombthreat13m.html

A man claiming to be a "Vampire" and a "Space Cowboy" was detained by police after he threatened to blow up a mission house unless he was given people to eat (so I guess he was more of a Zombie than a Vampire). Fortunately the Seattle Police (no doubt their special S.T.A.R.S unit) was able to capture the undead alien menace and discovered that his bomb was merely a piece of plastic made to look like an explosive device.

Huh.

So what do you guys think?: Cowboy Bebop fan gone mad? Male Twilight fan driven to the brink? or is this simply another mishap caused by the Federal Government's refusal to confront the threat of Space Dracula?

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

I'm thinking Lunatic with access to plastic, basic Monster lore, and that song about being a Smoker, a joker, and a midnight toker.

That's my guess.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Male Twilight fan driven to the brink?

You're not tricking me with that. No man likes Twilight.

Anyway, being that the link didn't work for me, I have to work off of your description. It seems this man is a tad on the batshit insane side.

 

[conchshellthegeek7]

I'd like to say it's a Twihard gone mad, but I don't think it is. This particular case is so random and wierd that I'm glad you included the source, otherwise I would've called BS. But now that I believe it, I don't know what to say. The man's obviously insane. I really don't know what to say about this.

 

[Wildrow12]

I'm thinking Lunatic with access to plastic, basic Monster lore, and that song about being a Smoker, a joker, and a midnight toker.

That's my guess.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFV2iG3dnpU

True. I wonder if someone will try the same crime, dressed in purple pinstripes calling themselves a "Gangster of Love".

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

To quote Chris Rock:

"whatever happened to crazy?"

Why try to explain this in any other way? This guy is insane- and no other explanation is required, or adequate, for his action

 

[Wildrow12]

Male Twilight fan driven to the brink?

You're not tricking me with that. No man likes Twilight.

Anyway, being that the link didn't work for me, I have to work off of your description. seems

1. I've heard of such creatures...men who like Twilight....they lurk in the darkest corners of coffee shops...listening to Linkin Park...forever crawling in their skin.

2. Really? The link works just fine for me....try this one: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35837976/ns/local_news-seattle_wa/

 

[S.R.S.]

Sooner or later it was bound to happen.

The male twilight fan thing.

 

[The Warden]

I'm guessing
A.Lunatic
B.Cannibal trying hard to score a meal
C.Guy trying to pull a joke and going too far.

 

[PureChaos]

at least he tried something original

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Male Twilight fan driven to the brink?

You're not tricking me with that. No man likes Twilight.

Anyway, being that the link didn't work for me, I have to work off of your description. seems

1. I've heard of such creatures...men who like Twilight....they lurk in the darkest corners of coffee shops...listening to Linkin Park...forever crawling in their skin.

2. Really? The link works just fine for me....try this one: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35837976/ns/local_news-seattle_wa/

1. Just because those fans of Twilight have penises doesn't make them men. They denounced their manhood when they became fans.

2. That link worked very well. Thank you.

Judging by his clothing, I'm guessing he's no stranger to Hot Topic.

 

[orangebandguy]

He's just contracted hilarity syndrome.


Unfortunately in some cases incurable. That's how I explain it, with my non existant medical training.

 

[Moonmover]

I hereby declare this man the most awesome terrorist to ever live.

 

[Summerstorm]

Hehe... anything that amuses me is fine in my book. As long as he hadn't a real bomb its ok. (Well he took some time of some officers, but i guess you can spare them, right?)

 

[Wildrow12]

Male Twilight fan driven to the brink?

You're not tricking me with that. No man likes Twilight.

Anyway, being that the link didn't work for me, I have to work off of your description. seems

1. I've heard of such creatures...men who like Twilight....they lurk in the darkest corners of coffee shops...listening to Linkin Park...forever crawling in their skin.

2. Really? The link works just fine for me....try this one: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35837976/ns/local_news-seattle_wa/

1. Just because those fans of Twilight have penises doesn't make them men. They denounced their manhood when they became fans.

2. That link worked very well. Thank you.

Judging by his clothing, I'm guessing he's no stranger to Hot Topic.

1. So their kind of like Ring Wraiths then? Except instead of losing their immortal souls they lose their wangs and instead of gaining the dark power of being awesome in long black cloaks, they gain the power to write bad poetry...in black cargo pants?

2. A Hot Topic terrorist cell? Wow. COBRA must really be scratching the bottom of the barrel.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

1. So their kind of like Ring Wraiths then? Except instead of losing their immortal souls they lose their wangs and instead of gaining the dark power of being awesome in long black cloaks, they gain the power to write bad poetry...in black cargo pants?

2. A Hot Topic terrorist cell? Wow. COBRA must really be scratching the bottom of the barrel.

1. Pretty much, except they don't lose their penises. They just aren't men in the philosophical (or psychological, alternatively) sense, which is the sense that matters most in determining what makes a man. Or it could be the way he fights every day. I forget which.

2. This implies that Cobra ever scraped the top of the barrel.

 

[reg42]

I'm guessing he's just an attention seeker.

 

[Arachon]

You're not tricking me with that. No man likes Twilight.

Don't say that, my mates brother likes Twilight... He also keeps magazine of muscly men on his room... We think he's gay.

 

[Wildrow12]

1. So their kind of like Ring Wraiths then? Except instead of losing their immortal souls they lose their wangs and instead of gaining the dark power of being awesome in long black cloaks, they gain the power to write bad poetry...in black cargo pants?

2. A Hot Topic terrorist cell? Wow. COBRA must really be scratching the bottom of the barrel.

1. Pretty much, except they don't lose their penises. They just aren't men in the philosophical (or psychological, alternatively) sense, which is the sense that matters most in determining what makes a man. Or it could be the way he fights every day. I forget which.

2. This implies that Cobra ever scraped the top of the barrel.

Ah, but what is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets, that's what! Oh crap, I just broke another one of my favorite wine glasses.

 

[More Fun To Compute]

The vampire space pirate menace is on the rise.