am i afraid of commitment?

[szs0061]

so i have been in a relationship with this girls for three months now and everything is great, we have fun, she makes me laugh, and we are generally great together, but the other day she had to go and tell me she loved me and im just not sure im comfortable returning the phrase

so the question really is, am i a stupid guy whos just afraid of commitment or not?

 

[Insanum]

this thread is your friend: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161?page=17#4193441

 

[dududf]

Yes your aparent lack of commitment to use the Shift key when typing and thus making capital letters is very much obvious to the general public.

Also, by returning the phrase "I love you" would be dangerously close to "Will you marry me" and that holds a huge weight [sup]like how you barely have sex after marriage[/sup]

 

[szs0061]

this thread is your friend: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161?page=17#4193441

why thank you, ill remember to search in the future

 

[Brad Shepard]

so i have been in a relationship with this girls for three months now and everything is great, we have fun, she makes me laugh, and we are generally great together, but the other day she had to go and tell me she loved me and im just not sure im comfortable returning the phrase

so the question really is, am i a stupid guy whos just afraid of commitment or not?

I wouldent say stupid, i would say scared

not to sound like a dick or anything, but it is a scarie thing, letting yourself be that open with someone. but if you know that you love her, it wont be that scary.

my girlfriend told me the same thing, but heres my nitch, i loved her too, i still do, but she sayd it first.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Your 17, commitment is a joke.

Tell her that you love her, it'll make you happy for the time being. It'll be over by next year anyway.

 

[Thaius]

You need to figure that out for yourself. It's possible that you're afraid of commitment, sure. But love is a powerful thing: before you go saying it, you need to really figure out if you love her or not.

Answer this question for me: let's say that, hypothetically, for some reason, you had an opportunity. You would live in isolation, a horrible, lonely existence for the rest of your life, but in exchange this girl would have the best life possible, a happy, well-lived life. Would you do it? Would you sacrifice everything for her happiness? If so, you're in love. Otherwise... think carefully before throwing the word around.

 

[Insanum]

this thread is your friend: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161?page=17#4193441

why thank you, ill remember to search in the future

Its fine, Really that thread needs to be a sticky, I dont get all "Search bar" in these cases. I suggest you bookmark it for future.

Your 17, commitment is a joke.

Tell her that you love her, it'll make you happy for the time being. It'll be over by next year anyway.

Ahh Pimppeter, You never cease to amuse me. You REALLY[/I] dont know how on the money you are.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Your 17, commitment is a joke.

Tell her that you love her, it'll make you happy for the time being. It'll be over by next year anyway.

Ahh Pimppeter, You never cease to amuse me. You REALLY[/I] dont know how on the money you are.

I have to admit, that made my day.

 

[Dys]

Your 17, commitment is a joke.

Tell her that you love her, it'll make you happy for the time being. It'll be over by next year anyway.

Whoa captain cynic, some people do actually have meaningful (in fact, lifelong) relationships start in their teens (however rare it might be). There's no need to crush the boys spirit (and hope etc).

Just be honest, if she's good with you and it is a half decent relationship, you'll be able to talk openly and honestly with her, so just explain how lost you are on the subject of love, and that you don't want to say it without knowing it to be true. That way, should you say it down the track, it will be all the more meaningful.

 

[Insanum]

Your 17, commitment is a joke.

Tell her that you love her, it'll make you happy for the time being. It'll be over by next year anyway.

Ahh Pimppeter, You never cease to amuse me. You REALLY[/I] dont know how on the money you are.

I have to admit, that made my day.

"you've been going out two weeks! You're NOT in love." - Is a facebook group i joined.

Its too true.

 

[AquaAscension]

The answer is yes and no.

Firstly, she told you this after three months of getting to know you. In a very real sense, this is incredibly sudden (given the fact that we, as a society (at least America does if you're from there then I guess I'm trying to speak for "us"), put so much emphasis on love as this amazingly powerful emotion). Anyhow, it is rather sudden, but it might not be for her. She may be someone who is throwing around the word without really knowing what it means, but she may actually have a grasp and understand what it means to her, but it sounds like you guys don't have a single, solid definition (and you're not alone).

I thought I had a second point but I guess not. Either way, take your time. There's always time so don't rush into stuff. This isn't a logical question. If you feel it, you feel it.

 

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

Lie. You say "I love you too" and you get moar seckz.

 

[Shru1kan]

Ignore the borderline-trolls.

If you have doubts about the relationship, something isn't right. Take a step back, and assess the situation. Sounds like she wants it to be more serious, so figure out if you want it that way too.

 

[KurtzGallahad]

I don't know, ask yourself that question and you'll find out,
or get really pissed and you'll know in the morning, it's a modified version of the chinese method of meditation ivolving slight amounts of poison, it still involves poison but mistakes are less deadly.

 

[Puzzles]

I told my girlfriend I wasn't ready to say it, because I'd said it and not meant it before. I told her I wanted to really mean it, and know I meant it. She understood, and a couple of months later I said it.

It's not really commitment phobia, more just not wanting to lie to the girl.