Am I being an ass?

[ToffeeMC]

Basically, I went out with this girl for ages, everything was going fine. We both liked each other, I sat next to her in every subject and everything was going smoothly. Or so I thought. Suddenly this new boy came to school (I'm in Year9/8th Grade (I think))and me and him became best friends. But the girl started acting strangely around him and one night on Facebook she was like "he's so cute, I might ask him out", and I asked "but aren't you with me?" and she said "Well, you've been calling me your friend all week, not your girlfriend, so I thought you'd dumped me, and I naturally moved on". After that, apparently she still wanted to be friends with me, so we tried but then that boy said no to her, so she started treating me like crap for apparently splitting up with her.Eventually she started going out with my other best friend and started telling him all my secrets (some of which she made up to get him away from me). Obviously, I talk to my other friends about it and one of them agrees to talk to her about it. 2 days later, she texts me saying "why have you been talking sh*t behind my back?" and we had an argument. Now, we're trying just to be friends again, but she's still saying sh*t about me, telling me about it but not saying what she's actually said and apparently "I need to "chill the f*** out", to various people, I might add, and she's got it into her head that I've been saying things about her. Now that I've talked to her about it, she's gone on a rant at me. At this point I've hung up on her and blocked her, but she's texting me her boyfriends phone, calling me "a p*ssy" for "not facing up to your problems" and calling me two faced and that she's so nice to me and I apparently "give her nothing in return". I'm thinking about putting my foot down and arguing with her about it, but she'll obviously overpower me and make me feel like crap and it will just make her more likely to say stuff about me to my friends. Apparently she's also going to tell MY brother about it and "see what he says about that". What should I do? I would ignore her but she'll probably kick the crap out of me at school (I'm kind of a dweeb).

 

[Daffy F]

Oh god... I can remember having these sorts of problems. I always felt that if you could get her to shut up and listen for 5 minutes you could explain the WHOLE THING so that she would understand, but then she talks over you while you're trying to explain, so you talk louder. Then she gets louder so she's not being talked over by you, and it escalates to you shouting at one another, leading to power struggles (as you seem to be experiencing). Still, make sure your friends understand your point of view to be the right one.

 

[artanis_neravar]

Basically, I went out with this girl for ages, everything was going fine. We both liked each other, I sat next to her in every subject and everything was going smoothly. Or so I thought. Suddenly this new boy came to school (I'm in Year9/8th Grade (I think))and me and him became best friends. But the girl started acting strangely around him and one night on Facebook she was like "he's so cute, I might ask him out", and I asked "but aren't you with me?" and she said "Well, you've been calling me your friend all week, not your girlfriend, so I thought you'd dumped me, and I naturally moved on". After that, apparently she still wanted to be friends with me, so we tried but then that boy said no to her, so she started treating me like crap for apparently splitting up with her.Eventually she started going out with my other best friend and started telling him all my secrets (some of which she made up to get him away from me). Obviously, I talk to my other friends about it and one of them agrees to talk to her about it. 2 days later, she texts me saying "why have you been talking sh*t behind my back?" and we had an argument. Now, we're trying just to be friends again, but she's still saying sh*t about me, telling me about it but not saying what she's actually said and apparently "I need to "chill the f*** out", to various people, I might add, and she's got it into her head that I've been saying things about her. Now that I've talked to her about it, she's gone on a rant at me. At this point I've hung up on her and blocked her, but she's texting me her boyfriends phone, calling me "a p*ssy" for "not facing up to your problems" and calling me two faced and that she's so nice to me and I apparently "give her nothing in return". I'm thinking about putting my foot down and arguing with her about it, but she'll obviously overpower me and make me feel like crap and it will just make her more likely to say stuff about me to my friends. Apparently she's also going to tell MY brother about it and "see what he says about that". What should I do? I would ignore her but she'll probably kick the crap out of me at school (I'm kind of a dweeb).

Don't by into her bullshit, she didn't assume you dumped her, she was to much of a ***** to dump you so she never told you about it and then twisted it around to make it look like you were the bad guy. She is a manipulator and uses people to get what she wants. Your best bet is to completely cut her out of your life, talk to your friends and explain it to them, and if they are really your friends they will side with you out of principle. Either that or she is batshit crazy....well she might still be batshit crazy and a manipulator but either way remove her from your life like the tumor she is.

 

[Galletea]

Arguing about it isn't likely to get you anywhere, as you say. Lying, manipulative women are usually insecure about themselves in some way, and she obviously sees you as a threat. I would move on. Your friend won't be able to see what she's doing if he's besotted with her, especially if it's her against you, and you come across as an evil jilted ex. So he'll have to be an acceptable loss if you want to move on, if you don't you'll end up in this cycle of lies for a long time.

 

[Lilani]

-snip-

Unless you are VERY good friends with the person and VERY familiar with their character, high school is a horrible place to be getting into relationships. You have so little space, so little choice, and so much drama in such a highly-concentrated area it's really nothing like the real world. She sounds very much like a drama-llama from what you wrote. No matter what you do or say, she'll find some way to make herself look like the "better one" in the end. I recommend just getting away from her and moving on--don't play her little game. And if your friend resents you for that, just leave him behind as well. If he can't respect your decision to give her space, he probably wasn't that great of a friend, anyway.