An alien has landed on your backyard......

[ABLb0y]

Seffia
1: take the pistol
2: put the pistol in your mouth
3: press this thing. I gaurentee, it'll help you fit in.

 

[TheOneBearded]

Spoiler: No one's posted this yet?

Ok, I'd tell 'Prot':
1) Don't take our religions seriously.
2) Don't take our politics seriously.
3) Everything you will find on the Internet will be a lie. Or porn.

And a bonus one:
4) Get out while you still can!

Where did you get that from? Never read that before.

 

[TheOneBearded]

Well, I see that most of you guys aren't the most "loving" people. Most of the posts end with the alien being killed or doing something stupid that will get him killed.

 

[madhousezack]

I'll tell Vic to avoid 1.Hangar 18, 2.Join the Dawn Patrol, 3.beware the Tornado of Souls and if you're feeling lucky, 4.Return to Hangar.

Dave be with you, fellow Megadeth fan.
As for me, i'd name him "Steve" and tell him the following
1: Men are a violent and War-Like people, so do your best not to arouse their ire.
2: If a human should block your path, appease him with offers of coin or liquors.
3: Men are easily fooled by certain sounds, should a man confront you, Chant " U.S.A." over and over in a loud voice until the person either walks away or offers you a " Beer."

 

[Nouw]

I'll tell Vic to avoid 1.Hangar 18, 2.Join the Dawn Patrol, 3.beware the Tornado of Souls and if you're feeling lucky, 4.Return to Hangar.

Dave be with you, fellow Megadeth fan.

*Brofists. I love Megadeth and just had to reference Rust in Peace, the album which features aliens!

 

[vrbtny]

Well I don't have a back yard.....

That's the whole Alien Apocalypse idea screwed then....

His name shall be Fairfax Fotheringdale the Third!!

 

[Alssadar]

I'll tell Jerry...

1. Humans do not like it when themselves/others are harmed
2. We are not manifestations of some other being; we are living beings ourselves
3. Jerry, do not kill us all.

Bonus points to whomever gets this reference.

 

[Vern5]

My pieces of advice:

1. Offa'
2. My
3. Lawn!

I probably wont live long enough to know remember his name.

 

[Free Thinker]

The son of a ***** is named Honk-Honk and he ruined my pool!

1. Act like the Hipsters. Perfect disguise.
2. Become a barista at Starbucks.
3. When someone asks for a ride, "gas, grass, or ass".

 

[SD-Fiend]

i'd tell "Cudzi"

don't attract attention
don't talk about fight club
sharing your technology with the first person you meet on a new planet is customary

I'd also tell it that if it doesn't have any sort of special tech that we don't have it may as well leave since there will be a lot of disappointed scientoligist/ people that think your better than us.

 

[jdun]

I'd name him soon to be dead alien

then shoot him and sell him to the government

I'll do the same. Threaten you in your own property? He'll be dead in a second.

I won't sell his dead body to the government. They're too cheap. I'll auction it off on ebay. You get a better price. Than write a book to make millions. After that find a movie contract and make sure the guy playing me is a handsome dog.

 

[rayen020]

okay kenneth
a) don't watcch too much TV, most of life isn't like that anyway.
b) the police are not the best people to tangle with.
c) you probably want to land somewhere other than the US.

 

[Dawns Gate]

Well, Flipyap

1. Never buy the extended warranty on anything, it'll break right after it expires.
2. Always use safe search or you'll end up on some fucked up shit
3. Popcorn dipped in hot chocolate is delicious

 

[mongrelle666]

my advice would be go home and take me with you!!! i'm sure i'd be a good pet i have a soft coat. clear eyes and a dry nose but i'm also house-broken.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

Spoiler: No one's posted this yet?

Ok, I'd tell 'Prot':
1) Don't take our religions seriously.
2) Don't take our politics seriously.
3) Everything you will find on the Internet will be a lie. Or porn.

And a bonus one:
4) Get out while you still can!

Where did you get that from? Never read that before.

Serious?

I dunno, where do you find anything on the internet? I'd seen it bandied about on various sites (including this one) and a simple Google search provided the rest.