An Asexual living in a sexual world.
- Thread starter Eric the Orange
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I got like six replies on this and haven't looked at them yet, but I think I'm going to be revisiting this point. Actually, not so much....Lieju said:
Beyond just that, I mean, it's considered normal for heterosexuals to not just kiss, but kiss pretty heavily, paw at each other, and almost anything short of literal sex. And the only way I could see gays and lesbians outdoing this is by literally going down on each other in the streets en masse, and I add en masse, because it's also common for people to think public sexual exploits are cool as long as it's not some "icky" gay couple doing it.
And yeah, more than likely they have to be considered hot.
Now, I swing more ways than a starfish with nunchucks and I don't mind heterosexuality the way a lot of people who have voiced their opinions do. I still don't like how prevalent it is, and how "normal" it is, while anything else is considered "sick" or inappropriate. Hell, on a personal level, the reactions I get for doing the same things revolve largely around the perceived gender of myself and whoever I happen to be doing it with.
And yeah, if the media used same sex couples/groups to sell products the way heterosexuals are used, I'm pretty sure the pearl clutchers all fainting would cause an earthquake (at least across North America). I remember controversies about commercials where two dudes did things as risqué as...gasp...holding hands.
And this shouldn't really be surprising, given I live in a country that still loses its shit over interracial couples.
Or anyone not considered conventionally hot.
You mean like heterosexuals do routinely with very little blowback?KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
Actually let me go one further. I notice guys do this a lot. Maybe women do and I have a certain level of pattern bias, but this is more illustrative and not meant to be an absolute model of reality. This sort of thing tends to make me...uncomfortable. In my experience, if someone speaks up, the guys get hostile. Picture something along the line of saying that girls in games should be less sexualised.
Personally, depending on how I'm perceived, I am either called a fag and told I'll get my ass kicked, or accused of things like jealousy and subjected to my own barrage of lewd comments. And yes, they can get VERY explicit in terms of what they're going to do to me. I am usually accused of being a puritan or prude or similar (again, the parallels to any gender media debate are pretty good) and told to do anatomically impossible things to myself as though I challenged their God-given right.
I can't preclude the notion that women also do this a lot. The way men treat women tends to resonate more personally, so I admit that I might have a pattern bias. And I can't preclude that women might be equally as hostile (discliamers before someone decides to #notallmen me). But this is not the behaviour I would expect if homosexuals were the more aggressive and explicit ones. In fact, it just looks like gays and lesbians are adopting the type of stupid, puerile sexual behaviour that straight people take for granted.
It's be nice if nobody did it, but in this culture, that is the "norm" right now. It being the "norm" means there are a lot of people doing it. And likely not thinking about it. And probably getting defensive when other people do think about it.
For the record, I didn't think it was and I wasn't trying to bust your hump. There likely was a breakdown in communication, because I simply was confused by your statements and was trying to get to the bottom of them as best as I could.Eric the Orange said:
Look, I have no problem with you normal people. In fact, some of my best friends are normal. I just don't want to have to explain your normalcy to my children. Insert joke about secretly being Breakfastman's mom here.LetalisK said:
...sorry, couldn't resist.
Older CSI episodes (not sure about more recently) that dealt with anything concerning a sexual minority (for which I'll include furries, because these specific instances were sex related) normally feature Gil Grissom with a scientific explanation and a level of understanding, and one or more dead (group of people involved) and a lot of scorn and such.SweetShark said:
Grissom is thankfully both knowledgeable of everything and accepting of all.
Praise be to Grissom. Grissom is life. Grissom is love.
No, but seriously, it's been ages since I saw the episode, but I don't remember things going particularly well for furries. Maybe I'm remembering wrong.
Eh it's okay. I've gotten used to oversexualization, it's still a bit eye-rolling when two people who have absolutely no chemistry decide to have sex in a movie just because, but I don't think my asexuality has much to do with my annoyance of that scenario. Sex sells, I get it, I'm not sure if I want to blame society for its over-saturation or the ad industry for always appealing to the lowest common denominator.
I think even people who aren't asexual may find annoyance at the notion that just because Kate Upton beckons us to play Game of War that we should immediately rush out and get it.
I think even people who aren't asexual may find annoyance at the notion that just because Kate Upton beckons us to play Game of War that we should immediately rush out and get it.
Instinctively, we are driven to procreate and pass on our genes, but I think this is really underselling as to why our culture is saturated with sexuality.
On an individual level, sexuality can be a life reaffirming experience, a moment of shared intimacy and excitement with another person and in some cases is something to practice and master, sex becomes a social drive instead of just an act of (feigned) procreation and is an important part of anyone's life, even asexuals, as they shape a big part our own social interactions with our peers.
When it comes down to it, one's own label is entirely meaningless, we are what we do, not what we say we are, live life as you wish to and don't bother with the opinions of others.
On an individual level, sexuality can be a life reaffirming experience, a moment of shared intimacy and excitement with another person and in some cases is something to practice and master, sex becomes a social drive instead of just an act of (feigned) procreation and is an important part of anyone's life, even asexuals, as they shape a big part our own social interactions with our peers.
When it comes down to it, one's own label is entirely meaningless, we are what we do, not what we say we are, live life as you wish to and don't bother with the opinions of others.
Wait, what? Shouldn't you be completely fine with all the hot girls everywhere?Nimcha said:
OT(?): For some reason a lot of things I thought are extremely rare crop up in numbers on this forum every now and then. Frankly it just makes me a bit paranoid.
Since I don't drink but am regularly overwhelmed (to some extent) by sexual desire I can definitely subscribe to the "only sober person at the party" analogy because after I came I'm like....woah that was so interesting mere seconds ago, what's the fuss? And it does feel similar to the situation when a lot of people are drunk around me and I am not. But funny enough the next day or a few hours later I can get into the same pre-cum-state again and the same post-cum-state afterwards. Again and again. So to me sometimes it seems that being asexual is something more desirable as being sexual 
It actually makes more sense that asexuality is beneficial to humanity rather than detrimental. Think about it. Wars have been fought because of sexual desire. Killer diseases have been spread. People die and are killed because of it all the time. But also, the Earth is lousy with unplanned pregnancies. if every pregnancy or almost every pregnancy was planned because the parents were only having sex when they wanted kids, the world's population would be way less out of control than it is.
Asexuality is incredibly rare, at most 1% of the population has it. When you have a personality trait that only <1% of the population has, you are never going to really fit in everywhere. That's life.Eric the Orange said:
Why should it be irrelevant? Obviously sex drive is a big motivator for the majority of the human race and will be until artificial insemination, cloning and genitic manipulation replaces all our evolutionary biology in 1000 years or so.RiseOfTheWhiteWolf said:
What it should be is healthy. Sex can be a way of feeling alive, total being free of ego, pure energy, a god/godess roleplay, a celebration of humanity, a primitive communion that spans eons and species and recreates the basic urge to life of the universe. (ahem...)
If there is a case to be made that there is an unhealthy obsession with sex, I'm not sure it can be made by the asexual.
Wouldn't not having any interest in sex render them incapable of judging healthy from unhealthy, because in their view's it's all unhealthy?
By that logic, you want to have sex with a dog. You just had a bad past experience with a dog that made you associate it with something bad. Because it's somehow not possible that you just ain't into poking dogs.WinterWyvern said:
Also, modern day teens didn't come up with asexuality. It's existed throughout history and has been documented multiple times by psychologists and biologists. Kinsey even stated that his scale was flawed because it didn't account for those he had encountered without sexual desire.
Yes, it's absurd, but no more absurd that saying asexuality can't exist.WinterWyvern said:
Now, they are a tiny minority of the population, of course, but that's to say that nobody is asexual.