An idea for a book/script

[IsraelRocks]

So i was driving down a highway when this idiot cut me off, so i started thinking that there has to be a better way to police bad drivers, this lead (as it always does ) to a "thought police".
from there i went on thinking how can one have a thought police- or something of the sort, and still have individual privacy? who can you entrust with the ability to read people's mind at will?

What if this power was only used for a very specific purpose?
What if you could train someone to use that power only for good?
So (again,this all came to me half an hour ago while i was driving) i came up with a society where the whole judicial system is composed of people who have been trained since childhood to be completely objective and have no ambitions what so ever, basically something like Vulcan or what not(lets call them "the gifted " for now ).

They were the only one entrusted with using a machine that could read someones mind. this machine was operated ONLY by "the gifted "and ONLY (this is the whole point of the story ) in a courthouse.
"The gifted " have 4 ranks\classes
1) a student class (child)
2) a technician class (teens)
3) a judge class (young adults)
4) a mentor class (adults - death)

because they have no ambition no in their eyes no rank is better then any other and is achieved only by tenure. this class system helps "the gifted" to be a cut off as possible from foreign influence. the students are taught by the monitors, to first be technicians for the mind reading machine, then they advance to the rank of judge and after lets say... 20 years they become mentors, who in turn monitor the whole system and teach the young.
where do they come from? in the beginning children were recruited based on specific conditions (intelligence morals etc') but lets say a century there are enough "gifted" to interbreed, making the process even more immune to the outside world

What do you think?
if you got any comments about my grammar or text structure please keep them to yourselfs- English is not my native language and i have no intention of writing this story in English,
any other comments will be most welcomed

p.s
longest post i ever wrote.. anywhere



EDIT : "thought police" IS NOT A TITLE. its just there to make a point

 

[tomtom94]

Intriguing. You'll have to come up with a different name than Thought Police though

 

[SimuLord]

The Watchmen meets 1984 meets Minority Report? Meh. I get the feeling that an improved angle on that particular formula will be hard to come up with.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

It's a very good idea. But you'll probably need a more original title for the whole thing, as well as a protagonist and antagonist.

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

DELETED

 

[u4527646]

I think it sounds great, and like everyone else I think it needs a better title... I'm also impressed by how much thought you've put into it.

 

[IsraelRocks]

The Watchmen meets 1984 meets Minority Report? Meh. I get the feeling that an improved angle on that particular formula will be hard to come up with.

i did get some of it from minority report. but i think 1984 and the watchmen isnt what i am aimng for becuase the whole thing is very limited to the courts.

think about it as minority report but the Precogs are in charge of the whole thing.

 

[IsraelRocks]

I figured out the protagonist and the antagonist.

What makes the most objective person? a psychopath! they have a no concept of right or wrong.
so theoretically, with the right education, they can become the perfect judge, passing verdict based only on the evidence and the Law.

so on the early days (in the "present" the kids are bred inside the program) they took kids who were diagnosed as psychopaths and erased their memories.
one of those kids, now a 50ish year old Mentor somehow finds out about his past. the shock from this drives him insane and he decided its the program fault that he did what he did (killed his parents when he was a kid etc') and decides to take revenge.
the protagonist is a young newly appointed Judge who discovers his plan and stops him

 

[Akalistos]

So i was driving down a highway when this idiot cut me off, so i started thinking that there has to be a better way to police bad drivers, this lead (as it always does ) to a "thought police".
from there i went on thinking how can one have a thought police- or something of the sort, and still have individual privacy? who can you entrust with the ability to read people's mind at will?

What if this power was only used for a very specific purpose?
What if you could train someone to use that power only for good?
So (again,this all came to me half an hour ago while i was driving) i came up with a society where the whole judicial system is composed of people who have been trained since childhood to be completely objective and have no ambitions what so ever, basically something like Vulcan or what not(lets call them "the gifted " for now ).

They were the only one entrusted with using a machine that could read someones mind. this machine was operated ONLY by "the gifted "and ONLY (this is the whole point of the story ) in a courthouse.
"The gifted " have 4 ranks\classes
1) a student class (child)
2) a technician class (teens)
3) a judge class (young adults)
4) a mentor class (adults - death)

because they have no ambition no in their eyes no rank is better then any other and is achieved only by tenure. this class system helps "the gifted" to be a cut off as possible from foreign influence. the students are taught by the monitors, to first be technicians for the mind reading machine, then they advance to the rank of judge and after lets say... 20 years they become mentors, who in turn monitor the whole system and teach the young.
where do they come from? in the beginning children were recruited based on specific conditions (intelligence morals etc') but lets say a century there are enough "gifted" to interbreed, making the process even more immune to the outside world

What do you think?
if you got any comments about my grammar or text structure please keep them to yourselfs- English is not my native language and i have no intention of writing this story in English,
any other comments will be most welcomed

p.s
longest post i ever wrote.. anywhere



EDIT : "thought police" IS NOT A TITLE. its just there to make a point

Basically, you flashback to Minority Report. It's a movie where young and gifted psychic are enroll into a machine so cop could see future crime. If you can add or take that into another direction entirely, you may have a story.

 

[IsraelRocks]

Basically, you flashback to Minority Report. It's a movie where young and gifted psychic are enroll into a machine so cop could see future crime. If you can add or take that into another direction entirely, you may have a story.

I know the movie, but i am talking about taking it on a copletly diffrent angle.
"the gifted" are in charge of the whole thing. "normal" humans will be only the backround to the story. almost all the characters will be "gifted".
they gifted are still kinda normal. they have feelings, but they are repressed and controlled.

think of a Vulcan PreCog

 

[Judgement101]

Make the town Mayors have the ability to force choke people.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

I like your idea. Seems original. I bet it could sell.

I had an idea where Basically the Old Gods caused "Paradise Lost" as well as several other stories from the Bible, Torah, Qu'ran and others.